Confession and obedience to parents

[R_C]

You live at home.

Your mom and dad pay all the bills.

They give you rides because you can’t drive on your own yet.

They buy and cook your food, and do your laundry.

They take you to the doctor when you’re sick, and countersign any forms you can’t sign because you’re not yet an adult.

You do what they tell you to do.

Sarah x

Sorry, that do ut des way of thought is not a good justification for obedience. I don’t obey or respect my parents because of that - in fact, I receive some or all of those things as greatly undeserved acts of love, but never as the reason for my love towards them.

Otherwise, if they didn’t pay the bills, didn’t give me rides, I had to buy and cook and do their laundry, take them to the doctor, etc. then I’d be entitled not only to not obeying them, but to expect their obedience!

The Greeks employed the word philia to describe the filial love for parents, a virtuous love that is not rooted on any specific act other than the fact that they are my parents and I am their son, as well as the word storge to describe the kind of love that moves us to compassionately care for our loved ones.

When you are a child, you cannot be considered a responsible adult so you do as you are told by those who care - and the reason is not “because I told you” but because you love them and they love you. When you are a responsible adult, they let you do your own things - to the point of departing and making your own family, if you so desire - but you still respect them, for the very same reason you obeyed them…out of sheer unconditional love that subsists no matter what you do to them or they do to you.

 

[atheistgirl]

The Greeks employed the word philia to describe the filial love for parents, a virtuous love that is not rooted on any specific act other than the fact that they are my parents and I am their son, as well as the word storge to describe the kind of love that moves us to compassionately care for our loved ones.

When you are a child, you cannot be considered a responsible adult so you do as you are told by those who care - and the reason is not “because I told you” but because you love them and they love you. When you are a responsible adult, they let you do your own things - to the point of departing and making your own family, if you so desire - but you still respect them, for the very same reason you obeyed them…out of sheer unconditional love that subsists no matter what you do to them or they do to you.

I had assumed all of that in my post - the love of the parents for the child and the love of the child for the parents.

It got lost I think in the fact I was trying to cut to the bottom line - the bottom line is he lives at home with his parents, he’s still a minor, he depends on them for rides, and if they tell him once a week is enough to go to confession (knowing their son is also scrupulous) then it is.

His parents are also responsible for bringing him up in the faith. If that decision is wrong, it’s on them, not him. He has been an obedient son.

The situation is different when he’s an adult. He has to walk his own path.

But my opinion is when he’s living under his parents roof, as a minor, he respects their decisions for him.

Sarah x