Confession and Scrupulocity

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faithhopelove12

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I had a priest tell me in confession he thought I was being scrupulous and he told me that when thoughts about whether or not something is a mortal or venial sin to put it out of mind.

How do I know when I’m beating myself up about nothing and when I really need to confess?

Sorry if this is the wrong forum to post on.
 
Usually the rule of thumb is if you have to ask yourself whether or not a sin was mortal chances are pretty good it was not. You can go to confession as needed but you must follow the advice of your confessor since he knows you better than any of us here. Also, know the mercy and infinite love of God. Many times we are way harder on ourselves than He is and sometimes we are not. That is why confession is so necessary. BUT listen to your priest. This is of the utmost importance. God bless you…teachccd 🙂
 
The advice for the scrupulous is as follows:
  1. find a priest you know to be orthodox
  2. go to him as your regular confessor
  3. do what he tells you
Scrupulosity is a disorder of the conscience. When one is scrupulous, it is hard to see sin in its true light. It is something that you deal with over time and with good priestly counsel.
 
It is one of the Devil’s oldest tricks and one of his favorite games: making you doubt your confession was valid the second you walk out of the confessional. Next thing you know you will be doubting whether or not you are in the state of grace. Then you will stop going to Communion for fear of commiting sacrilege. Then you will become so discouraged that you will stop going to Church altogether. Then you will fall back into habitual sin and then the cycle repeats all over again. The problem is that the Devil is much smarter than us. The only way to beat Scrupulosity is to find a regular confessor and OBEY whatever direction he gives you.

The Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous, the classic guide published by the Redemptorist, Father Don Miller:
  1. You shall not repeat a sin in confession when it has been confessed in a previous confession, even when there is a doubt that it was confessed or a doubt that it was confessed in a sufficiently adequate and complete way.
  2. You shall not confess doubtful sins in confession, but only sins that are clear and certain.
  3. You shall not repeat your penance after confession or any of the words of your penance because you feel or think that you had distractions or may not have said the words properly.
  4. You shall not worry about breaking your fast before receiving communion, unless you actually put food and drink in your mouth and swallow it in the same way that a person does when eating a meal.
  5. You shall not hesitate to look at any crucifix or at any statue in church or at home or anywhere else because you may get bad thoughts in your mind and imagination. If such thoughts occur, they carry no sin whatever.
  6. You shall not consider yourself guilty of bad thoughts, desires, or feelings, unless you can honestly swear before the all-truthful God that you remember clearly and certainly consenting to them.
  7. You shall not disobey your confessor when he tells you never to make another general confession of past sins already confessed.
  8. You shall believe and act accordingly, so that whenever you are in doubt as to whether or not you are obliged to do or not to do something, you can take it for certain that you are not obligated.
  9. If, before you perform or omit an act, you are doubtful whether or not it is sinful for you, you shall assume as certain that it is not sinful and shall proceed to act without any dread of sin whatever.
  10. You shall put your total trust in Jesus Christ, knowing that he loves you as only God can love, and that he will never allow you to lose your soul.
You can read more here: mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm
 
For me, it’s not that I don’t think God loves me (He does) or that I have sins too big for him to confess (there are none, unless you die with mortal sin on your soul you chose not to confess or believe in its gravity, in which case you can’t make an act of contrition), but that I might be messing it up. Once you realize you’re scrupulous, then you wonder if you’re using it as an excuse.

Obviously, there’s always asking for Christ’s divine mercy, preferably through his appointed caretakers of us, but he did leave us a chaplet or at least prayers that were made into one.
 
May I add, if not another commandment to the scrupulous, at least a precept? We must make good confessions. Good confessions are honest. To exaggerate venial sins into mortal ones, or to otherwise confess doubtful things just to be safe and sure is less than honest. While God understands such weakness, He is not pleased with it. I do not mean to imply that such weakness is another sin, just a weakness. The scrupulous persons greatest obligation is obedience to the priest. Letting scrupulosity take over is detriment to spiritual growth and a danger to one’s health.
 
These replies have been very insightful. Thank you all. 🙂
 
foolishmortal said:
For me, it’s not that I don’t think God loves me (He does) or that I have sins too big for him to confess (there are none, unless you die with mortal sin on your soul you chose not to confess or believe in its gravity, in which case you can’t make an act of contrition), but that I might be messing it up. Once you realize you’re scrupulous, then you wonder if you’re using it as an excuse.

Obviously, there’s always asking for Christ’s divine mercy, preferably through his appointed caretakers of us, but he did leave us a chaplet or at least prayers that were made into one.
Click to expand...
With regard to “messing it up”, remember that confession is a conversation. If the priest needs more details, he will ask. Confession doesn’t need to follow a strict formula to be valid. And any sins that you forget at the time are still forgiven. In general, if you are sorry for your sins and didn’t deliberately with-hold any grave sins (note “deliberately”, not “accidentally forgot”), then it’s a valid confession once you receive the absolution.

For a scrupulous person, having a regular confessor is the key. He will get to know you, understand your fears, and help you in practical ways to guard against doubt. Obedience to a regular confessor can help subdue your scrupulosity.
 
eightandsand said:
It is one of the Devil’s oldest tricks and one of his favorite games: making you doubt your confession was valid the second you walk out of the confessional. Next thing you know you will be doubting whether or not you are in the state of grace. Then you will stop going to Communion for fear of commiting sacrilege. Then you will become so discouraged that you will stop going to Church altogether. Then you will fall back into habitual sin and then the cycle repeats all over again. The problem is that the Devil is much smarter than us. The only way to beat Scrupulosity is to find a regular confessor and OBEY whatever direction he gives you.

The Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous, the classic guide published by the Redemptorist, Father Don Miller:

…]
Click to expand...
👍

I find this extremely useful as well!
 
It’s possible, should you have any hope, you may stop receiving Holy Communion, but rely on his divine mercy, entirely, though feeling your salvation lies in only that, feeling doomed, otherwise.

I’ve heard of Poles and some serious Protestants (though not believing theirs is Jesus) refraining from their respective communions for feeling out of God’s good graces.
 
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