Confession and sincerity/sorrow for sins or lack of

[mumto5]

Any feedback on this situation appreciated:

A Catholic is a party to a serious sin and goes to confession. Say, they have used barrier birth control/masturbated/something like that. They confess because they know the church holds the sin in question to be serious and are sorry that they are not the kind of Catholic they would love to be. However, in spite of having tried to study and appreciate the teaching on the issue, they find they can’t agree with it or see the logic in it. Or maybe they only see part of the supposed truth of a teaching. So while they are sorry they aren’t able to be the kind of Catholic they want to be, they are not actually sorry for the sin in itself.

This person wants to practice their faith, in spite of their mortally sinful shortcomings of belief, so goes to confession and confesses the sin in spite of not actually regretting it in itself. They want to be sorry, but just aren’t. However, they know it is supposed to be confessed so do it anyway. So the intention in going is sincere…but the confession of the sin might be seen to be insincere due to their not being sorry for the actual act. Maybe they don’t feel they have done anything wrong, just know that the church teaches it is wrong.

Is this person justified in going to confession or should they just stay home with the desire to confess a sin they are not sorry for? (I hope this makes enough sense!). Is the confession deemed to be sincere, insincere, somewhere in between?

No idea what to make of this situation. Thanks.

 

[Brando]

It’s my understanding that going to confession in such a case is the best possible thing to do. I would suggest that the person in the example discuss the whole issue with the priest inside the confessional, but very few ever really manage perfect contrition for any sin, but that’s not the most important thing - the important thing is going to confession, offering our imperfect contrition, and receiving the grace of the sacrament. We may not always fully understand WHY we’re wrong, but merely acknowledging it, even if we don’t feel a large amount of sorrow for the sin, is to practice and grow in virtue and holiness.

As I said, though, the best thing to do is to enter the confessional, and tell the priest the whole issue.

 

[mumto5]

Brando:

It’s my understanding that going to confession in such a case is the best possible thing to do. I would suggest that the person in the example discuss the whole issue with the priest inside the confessional, but very few ever really manage perfect contrition for any sin, but that’s not the most important thing - the important thing is going to confession, offering our imperfect contrition, and receiving the grace of the sacrament. We may not always fully understand WHY we’re wrong, but merely acknowledging it, even if we don’t feel a large amount of sorrow for the sin, is to practice and grow in virtue and holiness.

As I said, though, the best thing to do is to enter the confessional, and tell the priest the whole issue.

That is excellent feedback. Thank you!

 

[puzzleannie]

mumto5:

. So while they are sorry they aren’t able to be the kind of Catholic they want to be, they are not actually sorry for the sin in itself.

This person wants to practice their faith, in spite of their mortally sinful shortcomings of belief, so goes to confession and confesses the sin in spite of not actually regretting it in itself. They want to be sorry, but just aren’t. However, they know it is supposed to be confessed so do it anyway. So the intention in going is sincere…but the confession .

this person acted correctly. they acknowledged the teaching of the Church regarding God’s law, even though they themselves do not fully understand or accept it. They applied that teaching to their own situation and concluded that they had sinned, and sought the remedy of confession, and expressed contrition in words and will, if not in emotion.

Regret is not the same as contrition. Regret is “I did something wrong, now I see the ill effects of that action and which I had not done it.”
Contrition is “I have offended God and broken his commandments, as handed on and taught by my Catholic Church. Although I do not understand the law or the reasons for it, I accept that teaching, acknowledge my sin, and ask God to forgive me and restore me to communion with Him and with the Church.” It can be expressed out of duty, fear of hell, or love of God. This is enough for a valid confession.

Perfect Contrition involves complete acceptance of one’s sins, compunction and purpose of amendment solely because they have offended God, and rejected his Love, not for the lesser reasons.

Contrition is not an emotion–it is a statement of will and intention, in this case, to say “I did wrong, don’t really understand how or why, but accept the wrongness of my act, I desire to express contrition even though I do not feel especilly sorry, and I will confess and ask for forgiveness.” That is enough for a valid sacrament. Indeed, the worst thing you can do is stay away from the sacrament, because it is the very graces of the sacraments that help us grow in knowledge of God’s will for us and desire to conform to his will.

 

[Joysong]

I agree with Brando’s advice to speak with the priest who ministers God’s truth on His behalf.

Suppose you have purchased a train ticket to go to New York, but you firmly believe that the instructions on the ticket are wrong and you are really going to New Jersey. Where will you arrive, in spite of your human reason which believed the contrary was true? When we consider the eternal consequences of our choices, it is critical to lay aside those “good” things that seem so right for us, if they contradict teachings revealed by God through the Church.

As I reflect on the mystery of the Incarnation which we celebrate today, there were, and will continue to be many things that our human reason cannot figure out or understand. This does require faith on our part, which lays aside its own conclusions for that which has been revealed to us. Not easy sometimes, is it, my friend?

Reason tells us God would never permit His Son to be born in a cold, unsanitary stable for animals, with lowly unwashed, shepherds for adorers, a madman trying to kill Him by slaughtering all babies in the land — no, God would never do it this way! Etc., etc., throughout the life of Christ. May God gift you with true faith as we celebrate these awesome mysteries, and help you to accept the counsel of your pastor.

God’s blessings of peace and joy be with you!
Carole