Confession; and the gradual turning away

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WordisLove

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Hello all,

It is with a heavy heart I write this today. I have a great love for our Lord. I find that I have a hard time being consistent in regards to displaying that love in my daily actions and within my own conscience. I do not know what creates this chasm within my mind, what I do know is that it is the proto-typical “turning away” that theologians and priests talk about. The greatest threat I notice is apathy or laziness. I will commit a venial sin when in turn brings others on in my state of anger / anxiety what have you and the next thing I know I have committed a big one. Once you have crossed that threshold it only becomes easier to continue down that road. The mind and soul tell you not to tread there, but a voice in the back of my head urges me on (just this once). I understand that to live a life of peace and charity I must get control of this and I am in no way faulting the power of prayer or God’s Grace. I find that when I tread on this path I do not pray as much or at all because I feel ashamed of myself and feel I am just reciting words when my soul obviously doesn’t mean. Like committing a crime and immediately asking for forgiveness, only to do it again. Its a viscous cycle I would like to escape. I find myself going to confession much too often to confess serious sins. I am embarrassed by the short periods of time between confessions and the amount I have to confess. I imagine the priest sitting there thinking, “How did he cram all of that into such a short amount of time.” If anyone has any words of assistance or examples of how they have conquered this cycle I would appreciate it. Please pray for me as well. I am the only example and banner of Catholicism my wife and associates see on a daily basis other than what is shown on TV. I do not want to scandalize anything or anyone. Thank you.:confused:
 
I feel you brother. I have the exact same feelings. I’m a new Catholic, not even a year in the faith yet. All I want is to be a good Catholic. To receive communion. To sit in adoration. But I’m finding that it is the hardest thing I have ever attempted.
 
WordisLove said:
Hello all,

It is with a heavy heart I write this today. I have a great love for our Lord. I find that I have a hard time being consistent in regards to displaying that love in my daily actions and within my own conscience. I do not know what creates this chasm within my mind, what I do know is that it is the proto-typical “turning away” that theologians and priests talk about. The greatest threat I notice is apathy or laziness. I will commit a venial sin when in turn brings others on in my state of anger / anxiety what have you and the next thing I know I have committed a big one. Once you have crossed that threshold it only becomes easier to continue down that road. The mind and soul tell you not to tread there, but a voice in the back of my head urges me on (just this once). I understand that to live a life of peace and charity I must get control of this and I am in no way faulting the power of prayer or God’s Grace. I find that when I tread on this path I do not pray as much or at all because I feel ashamed of myself and feel I am just reciting words when my soul obviously doesn’t mean. Like committing a crime and immediately asking for forgiveness, only to do it again. Its a viscous cycle I would like to escape. I find myself going to confession much too often to confess serious sins. I am embarrassed by the short periods of time between confessions and the amount I have to confess. I imagine the priest sitting there thinking, “How did he cram all of that into such a short amount of time.” If anyone has any words of assistance or examples of how they have conquered this cycle I would appreciate it. Please pray for me as well. I am the only example and banner of Catholicism my wife and associates see on a daily basis other than what is shown on TV. I do not want to scandalize anything or anyone. Thank you.:confused:
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Take heart, my friend. We are only human. I went to confession on Saturday, and though I would never consider myself overly scrupulous, I find that I am in need of the sacrament again. I often find temptation coming to me shortly after confession. I am beginning to believe that this is one of the ways the enemy uses to turn us away. I’ve also had moments where I’ve wanted to give up on adoration or going to Mass because I will sometimes have VERY inappropriate thoughts while I am there, and I feel so unworthy.

The only advice I can give is to stay the course. If you are in need of confession, then go. Your priest will let you know if you are being overly scrupulous. What he won’t do is judge you. And if the embarrassment of having committed a mortal sin so soon after confession is too much for you…then I would say maybe to find a priest you don’t know to confess to. Better to do that, than not go at all. (I think, actually, that that’s what I may do today!)

I’ll be praying for you…please pray for me also.
 
Hello,

Your post motivated me to join the forum. I have been a Catholic my entire life. But, I’ve never been true to the faith and for the last five + years I have been doing battle with some serious mortal sins. (I don’t wish to state what they were.) I too found it difficult and embarrassing to confess to any priest. I believed that I could change on my own, and so I tried. I failed each time. Each and every time I tried, there was some small sin that lead me to another greater sin, that lead me to yet an even greater sin. Each time I eventually found myself in a position that was even worse than the position I was in before I tried. I knew it was wrong. I felt it inside. I could feel the scars on my soul. I prayed sometimes but felt insincere. Still, I knew that I loved God and that He loved me. I thank God for my parish priest, because he preached about confession almost every Sunday. I felt that it was God reaching out to me. So…I went to confession. Within a week afterwards, I fell back into the same position again. I felt sick. So…I went to confession again a month later with the same priest for the same sins. I was ashamed. To my surprise, he was not judgmental. He was understanding. He offered words of advice. He told me that it would be a process. To not get discouraged. He was clear that God understands how hard it is to fight. He expressed that going to confession shows that we want to fight. We should not be ashamed of bring the same sins to confession each time. What’s important is that we want to change. He told me to pray regularly. Of course, I was not doing so before. He also asked me to come to confession more often, so that I can be given the strength to keep fighting. So…I tried. Over the next few months, I went to confession about once a month. Each time I confessed the same sins. I felt that I had no control when I committed the sins. The priest, always the same priest, urged me to pray more regularly. Pray when you are tempted. He expressed that temptation is normal. Horrible fleeting thoughts will occur. Action on the temptation is sin, not the temptation or the fleeting thought. (i.e. dwelling on the thought, reveling in it, is sin). So, I started praying every day: morning, noon, and night. I prayed the Our Father, Hail Mary, the Rosary, and other prayers specific to my situation. I cannot over emphasize the importance and the effect of the Rosary. When temptation presented itself, and it will, I prayed as many Hail Marys as I needed. I started going to confession every week. Gradually, my life improved. I am no longer in the same position I was before. I’m not presented with the same temptations as much either. But when I am, as well as with other new temptations, I say a quiet Hail Mary or an Our Father. I have kept my prayer regimen and I still go to confession every week. I go to Church every Sunday and during the week when I can. I have taken up some of God’s causes (I will be teaching Natural Family Planning in my Diocese.). Here’s my conclusion: we cannot do it on our own. The only way out is through God, and we seek God and his help through confession and constant earnest prayer. They go together. While the selection of priest does not matter, I strongly encourage always using the same priest. That way, the advice in each confession can be tailored to you and your position on the path. This will then give us the strength to avoid situations that occasion temptation, and to fight temptation itself. Remember, even Jesus was tempted. I’m sorry for the length of this post, but I hope it helps.

One final note, I also found St. Paul helpful. As he said, (paraphrase) “if God could forgive me for my sins, then certainly He can forgive you.” Remember, St. Paul was once the greatest persecuter of Christians.

May God bless you and help you. You already have a key ingredient: the desire to change. I will pray for you.
 
JB2VI said:
While the selection of priest does not matter, I strongly encourage always using the same priest. That way, the advice in each confession can be tailored to you and your position on the path.
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Great post! 👍 I just wanted to comment on this part because I do agree with you on the whole. My regular confessor is not available this week, otherwise I might have gone to him. The other thing is, knowing that you are going to be talking to the same priest can, in itself, be a deterrant for sin. Unfortunately, it can also be a deterrant for confession if your feelings of shame and concern over what he might think of you proves to be too much for you to handle. It’s one thing to know in your head that the priest won’t judge you, but try making a heart filled with guilt and shame understand that.

But regardless of to whom, or how often you go to confession, the main thing is knowing that the grace of God is bigger than any of our sins.

Just a sort of smiley thought…I just got back from daily Mass at a nearby parish where they offer confession daily just prior to Mass. So I went to confession, then during Mass they did the Penitential rite. I found myself thinking…“I just received absolution two minutes ago…do I really need to be confessing AGAIN???” 😛
 
I was really touched by your post. Often I feel the similar to you. Just remember that the path to God’s Kingdom is narrow, and the fact that it is hard for you to be a good Christian (and yet you do not quit) means you are on the right path.

God bless you my brother!
 
“Come to me, all of you who are weary and loaded down with burdens, and I will give you rest.” - Jesus, Matthew 11:28
 
Thank you for the kind words and glimpses of the experiences of others in the same position. I will pray for you all as well. d_floyd77, I am also a new Catholic, about a year and a half or so. I believe that much of the difficulty comes from the vast difference in our lives and what we were taught about right and wrong previously. Things we now know as wrong drive us deeper into sin whereas before we did not realize we were headed down that road, it was the simply the gradual chilling of the lukewarm. Much of protestantism, especially the lukewarm variety I was a part of views many things as normal ie.birth control, masturbation, irregular attendance at services on Sunday, so we must change our views of these things in the proper light.Thank you.
 
Dear WordisLove

I wanted to reply to your post because I feel myself in exactly the same situation as you so often. IT’s almost like being two people in one body. Despite being (supposedly) such a great Christian I find myself falling into serious sin and then I’m too embarrassed to go to confession, I stop praying and I try to just avoid the whole ‘God’ thing until it gets to a point where I need him too much and I have to go back…and get my head around telling the priest all the bad things I did before. When I walk out of the confessional though, I always feel so light and happy, and I have NEVER once had a priest be anything but unshockable and unjudgemental with me.

As a fellow convert I agree it’s a lot to do with the messages we’ve received before about what is acceptable and the habits formed over a lifetime.

What helped me a lot was finding a really keen priest (in my case he was actually from Opus Dei) who is very much in favour of regular confession and encouraged me to come every week. Just making that part of my weekly routine, even though it didn’t necessarily stop me from going astray quite seriously a lot of them time, at least I kept starting over. And the one thing this priest kept saying to me is that Christian life is ABOUT starting over, again and again no matter what.
 
When reading your post I can not help see myself in a simliar situation, I am a new Catholic and believe me I love it. It can be frustrating understanding when it comes to your sins what the most important ones you confess first, you seem a little uneasy about going to confession to start with, to be honest you are not the only one, the point of confession, is knowing the sins you committed against God can be fixed by him and I think lots of people feel like even after confession they are headed down the same road, it is part of being human and knowing it can be repaired, but you have to have the courage to say you are going to make it right even if it is silly. A lot people feel soo much better after receiving and absolution from the priest, Keep the faith that no matter what mistakes you make God is on your side and will help you restore them. Dont beat yourself up for something you feel in the heart you have to do, do not stray because you think you are getting results, it is not a competition.
 
kristie_m said:
Just a sort of smiley thought…I just got back from daily Mass at a nearby parish where they offer confession daily just prior to Mass. So I went to confession, then during Mass they did the Penitential rite. I found myself thinking…“I just received absolution two minutes ago…do I really need to be confessing AGAIN???” 😛
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😉 I actually asked this question here some time ago. Advice I was given was to call to mind the sins I had just confessed for some further humility 😉
 
Brother,
I completely sympathize with you. I have been addicted to the natural feeling of masturbation for 25 plus years. It has been going on 2 weeks I havent done so since my last confession and visit with my spiritual director. It was the gateway to more serious sexual sin. I so desperately wanted to stop and the humiliation of it often kept me away from confession. I felt even more disturbed because many times during the act I would be thinking of GOD, crying, and feeling hopeless. I would take off driving all over our diocese looking for a priest I had not yet been to confession for. I was a lector, member of the RCIA team, and involved with the Cursillo movement. People had all kinds of nice things to say about me and here I am…Keep going back to confession. Focus your thoughts on Christ. If you fall, he will help you right back up.
You must live the life of prayer.
 
Hello everyone,
I fully agree with the comments stated here,I find it so embarrassing to have to confess the same sin over and over again.I too out of shame and embarrassment go to another parish to confess,I cringe before I enter the confessional.One time I went to a church and unknown to me it only had face to face confession!!.Well, I nearly fainted with shock and fear,but on reflection it was God teaching me a lesson in humility,as it turned into a very good confession,the Priest was very kind and understanding.I have confessed to my own Priest but I still find it sooooo embarrassing!!.But the point I am making is that I still force myself to go as I find the words of Absolution so beautiful.I know that God loves me no matter how many times I fail Him,so all I do is keep trying and if I fail I go back to confession,I pray that you all do the same,I know it works for me.
God Bless,
Mick.(UK)
 
Just wanted to add my personal experiences because they might help others to see, that they’re not alone in their struggle.

I find myself back in the Confessional on at least a weekly basis, as most weeks I fall back into the same sins around midweek. (When I commit them, I think straight away I must confess, and I feel wretched for doing them)

I am sincere and sorrowful for my sins, and do mean it when I make my act of contrition, I truly despise myself for comitting the sins I commit, and depise the sins I commit.

But yet again I fall almost weekly and have to go back to God’s open arms and It is both the worst feeling in the world and the best. Having to tell my Priest almost every week what I have done again, I am sure he knows I am struggling. I fear that he might think I am misusing the sacrament, just as a stepping stone to the Eucharist then freely falling back into sin midweek like I am using it as some sort of system where I can sin asit suits and then getabsolved in time for mass at the weekend. It may look that way, and I worry he might see it that way. But I am genuinely contrite, no matter how I feel whilst comitting the sin, I always feel deep regret after it has happened.

But we all fall, and its great when we’re picked up again. I sometimes try to get to another confessional but the only one I know of is at the cathedral 15 miles away, so it can be a bit of a trek but its worth it.

However, confessing the same sins to my local priest feels like a kind of penance, as it is difficult to do.

So you see, we all have worries and doubts!

Matt
 
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