Confession as a crutch?

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I’m fairly sure I know the answer to this but wanted to confirm. A friend of mine at work got into an argument with her ex’s girlfriend (who is Catholic) who made some statements that were… less than charitable basically telling her that she needed God. My friend tells me this and I immediately respond with Matthew 7 which she took and forwarded…

I pointed out that God’s word shouldn’t be used in such a way (to win an argument) especially by one who isn’t a believer (as she is not) but then the ex’s gf replies with something that I couldn’t believe… “it didn’t bother me to judge cause he (God) knew what I was thinking b4 I sent it and I will repent b4 I die unlike u…”

My question is, isn’t this NOT what confession is all about? Isn’t having that attitude quite the opposite of what being Catholic is?

I hear about her drama daily and usually just listen as she’s usually just looking for someone to vent to but I saw this (their conversations are usually via text) and was astounded. I actually thought about posting this in the evangelization section as I’ve tried to show this friend the beauty of Catholicism and here this person is solidifying her belief that Catholics think they can do whatever they want as long as they confess. I explained to her very vividly that this person’s view is not indicative of how a Catholic should behave but as she is exposed to this constantly she doesn’t really believe me. Any suggestions?
 
Simply point her to the parable of the Pharisee and the Publican. Who went home justified? The sinner did.
 
I hear about her drama daily
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🙂

I had a Catholic “drama queen” friend for about 2 years. Trouble with a capital “T”.

I finally realized she wasn’t my friend, she was constant entertainment.

She finally realized I wasn’t her friend, I was a member of her willing audience.
 
So, your friend used to be dating this guy and now she is having these communications back-and-forth with his current girlfriend? Am I understanding that correctly? If that’s the case, I can understand how the conversation would not go well! :eek: I wouldn’t assume the present gf necessarily believes what she’s saying. She’s probably just trying to get a rise out of your friend.

But, yes, your instincts are correct. This is not how Catholics should approach Confession. I had friends in college who employed the “I’ll-confess-on-my-deathbed” approach to morality in order to appease their conscience about doing things they knew were wrong (i.e. binge drinking, “hooking up”, etc.).

The problem with this approach (beyond the obvious sin of presumption) is that – in general – we die how we live. When the chips are down, we usually resort back to those habits we have developed in our lifetime, whether virtue or vice. Who is more likely to run into a burning building to save a stranger: the one who has practiced self-sacrifice and generosity for years and years or the one who is accustomed to self-indulgence and “looking out for number one”? In the same way, the person more likely to implore God’s mercy and die heroically is the one who has lived their life that way.

Sure, deathbed conversions happen, but it is not the norm. We hold out hope for everyone that they will repent before it is too late, but for ourselves, the best thing we can do is start now. We do not know how much time we have left.
 
Joe_5859 said:
So, your friend used to be dating this guy and now she is having these communications back-and-forth with his current girlfriend? Am I understanding that correctly? If that’s the case, I can understand how the conversation would not go well! :eek: I wouldn’t assume the present gf necessarily believes what she’s saying. She’s probably just trying to get a rise out of your friend.
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Actually it’s her ex-husband… they have two kids together so communication is a necessity. The kicker is that she was texting the ex jokingly about the new date for judgment day which just happens to be when their anniversary was… the new girlfriend picked up his phone preteninding to be him then flipped out on her. I wouldn’t have believed it myself had I not read it but from everything else I’ve heard I have no trouble believing that she truly believes that (though my source could be biased :D)

Even if she doesn’t really believe that I think she’s still doing quite a disservice to the faith by indicating that she does as some people really think that’s how Catholics are… just very frustrating to know the truth and not be able to get people to believe it.
 
mdrummer5 said:
Actually it’s her ex-husband… they have two kids together so communication is a necessity. The kicker is that she was texting the ex jokingly about the new date for judgment day which just happens to be when their anniversary was… the new girlfriend picked up his phone preteninding to be him then flipped out on her. I wouldn’t have believed it myself had I not read it but from everything else I’ve heard I have no trouble believing that she truly believes that (though my source could be biased :D)

Even if she doesn’t really believe that I think she’s still doing quite a disservice to the faith by indicating that she does as some people really think that’s how Catholics are… just very frustrating to know the truth and not be able to get people to believe it.
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Wow, that is definitely a tough position to be in. The gf certainly seems to be a poor spokesperson for the Catholic faith! It can be very true that we may be the only Gospel a person ever reads. And we can do a lot of damage that way.
 
Joe_5859 said:
Wow, that is definitely a tough position to be in. The gf certainly seems to be a poor spokesperson for the Catholic faith! It can be very true that we may be the only Gospel a person ever reads. And we can do a lot of damage that way.
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Very well said 👍
 
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