Tis_Bearself
Patron
I’m completely baffled as to why RCIA directors would not have their classes making their first confessions prior to receiving their First Communion.
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SuscipeMeDomine
Guest
Isn’t that what got this thread started – someone making their first confession as part of being received into the Church?
Tis_Bearself
Patron
Yes, but I was responding to Marie16’s post where she describes a situation of being told by her RCIA director not to make her first confession until she had received all 3 sacraments at the Easter Vigil.
Sometimes the “response” button does not seem to show the avatar of the person being responded to.
Sometimes the “response” button does not seem to show the avatar of the person being responded to.
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Gertabelle
Guest
If she received all 3 sacraments at the Easter Vigil, that would include baptism. One cannot make a sacramental confession until after they’re baptized.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
So does baptism then remove all sins so the person can receive Holy Communion that one time, then they’re supposed to go to confession after that?
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Fauken
Guest
No, it removes all of them. There’s just no real point in going to confession when you’re going to get baptized. I wonder, could confession remove original sin? I think only baptism can do that though.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
Sorry, I wasn’t clear. I meant go to confession after the Easter Vigil, like when they commit sins the next day, not go to confession in the middle of the Easter Vigil. I know people don’t do that.
I’ve been to Easter Vigils, but at the majority of them, no one is getting baptized for the first time so it’s just 2 sacraments there. I did attend one Vigil where some of the people were baptized.
Presumably the persons who are NOT going to be baptized for the first time would have to make a confession - prior to showing up at the Easter Vigil - before receiving Holy Eucharist, correct?
I’ve been to Easter Vigils, but at the majority of them, no one is getting baptized for the first time so it’s just 2 sacraments there. I did attend one Vigil where some of the people were baptized.
Presumably the persons who are NOT going to be baptized for the first time would have to make a confession - prior to showing up at the Easter Vigil - before receiving Holy Eucharist, correct?
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SuscipeMeDomine
Guest
Yes, there is a difference between those who are already baptized and those who are not.
Someone being baptized will have all their sins forgiven. At that point they have no sins to confess. A baptized candidate goes to confession before being confirmed and receiving their first communion.
Someone being baptized will have all their sins forgiven. At that point they have no sins to confess. A baptized candidate goes to confession before being confirmed and receiving their first communion.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
OK, I have it all straight now 
RCIA director shouldn’t just be leaving folks on their own to go figure out how to confess. I can see that leading to a lot of bad situations in the confessional for both priests and penitents.
As someone who wasn’t a convert but did have a bad confession experience at about age 12 which made me afraid of going for decades thereafter, the Church needs to be really careful about how they introduce people to confession.
RCIA director shouldn’t just be leaving folks on their own to go figure out how to confess. I can see that leading to a lot of bad situations in the confessional for both priests and penitents.
As someone who wasn’t a convert but did have a bad confession experience at about age 12 which made me afraid of going for decades thereafter, the Church needs to be really careful about how they introduce people to confession.
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KyPerson
Guest
It surprises me that a priest got snippy about confession. I am blessed to live by the Fathers of Mercy who hear confessions and will at any time if requested. Their superior said in a sermon that if he got a call at 1:00 pm from someone who needed to confess, he’d get up immediately. And he would too.
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TheLittleLady
Guest
If you were Baptized at the Vigil, it would have been impossible for you to have made a confession before Baptism. One cannot make confession until after Baptism.
I am so sorry that people confused.
Also know, you are guaranteed by the Code of Canon Law to your right to an anonymous “behind the screen” confession.
Hugs to you!
I am so sorry that people confused.
Also know, you are guaranteed by the Code of Canon Law to your right to an anonymous “behind the screen” confession.
Hugs to you!
M
Marie16
Guest
@Tis_Bearself
Yeah I was baptized at the Easter Vigil, which was the reasoning for me not needing to go to confession when I talked to our RCIA director. Others who were already baptized were told to find a time that works for them to go to regularly scheduled confessions and to do so before the Easter Vigil.
I do agree with you the church needs to be more careful about how people are introduced to the sacrament. It can sound very simple but can be foreign territory when it’s something you’ve had next to no knowledge of your whole life and do not have close family or friends to go to within the church for questions. It’s an intimidating concept since most don’t walk around telling other people the horrible things they’ve done… we tend to avoid it naturally.
@TheLittleLady
Thank you for your advice! I will keep that in mind. I wish I had known about the screen at the time. I have been to areas where there was no screen in place at all so I’m curious as to why that’s the case. I didn’t know what to think when this happened, except that maybe I was the only one bothered by such a request.
Yeah I was baptized at the Easter Vigil, which was the reasoning for me not needing to go to confession when I talked to our RCIA director. Others who were already baptized were told to find a time that works for them to go to regularly scheduled confessions and to do so before the Easter Vigil.
I do agree with you the church needs to be more careful about how people are introduced to the sacrament. It can sound very simple but can be foreign territory when it’s something you’ve had next to no knowledge of your whole life and do not have close family or friends to go to within the church for questions. It’s an intimidating concept since most don’t walk around telling other people the horrible things they’ve done… we tend to avoid it naturally.
@TheLittleLady
Thank you for your advice! I will keep that in mind. I wish I had known about the screen at the time. I have been to areas where there was no screen in place at all so I’m curious as to why that’s the case. I didn’t know what to think when this happened, except that maybe I was the only one bothered by such a request.
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StarMapp
Guest
Sorry for the late response.
“It’s advice that I’ve seen given to people who are trying to progress in their spiritual life, for example, those discerning a vocation, those in a religious order, etc. The idea is that the confessor gets to know the person’s habits and sins and so forth over time and can provide better advice”.
Yes, and the intent is a good one. But it is puzzling to me.
In a confessional, the priest gets to know the penitents habits, but they are only added to whatever other information the penitent may provide in order for him to understand his state within that time frame. The information is part of the conglomerate. Remember, he can never know when and if the penitent will ever return. There can never be confidence of a follow up type scenario. If the priest sees he is in need of pastoral help because of habit, it was my understanding he would suggest the penitent obtain a separate priest for pastoral or counseling.
This is why I have trouble with the concept of a dedicated pastoral setting “within” a confessional, that is, the expectation that there will be information gained now and used later for continued addressing of an issue, (or whatever it is this practice is supposed to achieve).
In pastoral settings all sorts of caveats are written, with a special care to watch for conflict of interest. The spirit of the Virtus Pastoral Guidelines(r) is a caution to those clergy that minister in the capacities of counselor and spiritual directors. The site specifically states that the confessional seal still applies, and the guidelines are separate from it. It instructs how/if information should be retained and shared. Many dangers and cautions are to be observed, one of which is the dangers of familiarization and social friendships. This is frowned on for cases where parties are friends or acquaintances.
But the confessional seal still applies, and it doesn’t leave much room for effective therapy or the time for it in my view. Not in the lengths of line ups I’ve seen. I guess I’ll need to keep researching to understand how a dedicated confessor can be a dedicated spiritual director to the same penitent/seminarian at the same time.
Forgive me if I didn’t understand you.
(r) xml file
www.virtusonline.org Resources Code of Conduct
“It’s advice that I’ve seen given to people who are trying to progress in their spiritual life, for example, those discerning a vocation, those in a religious order, etc. The idea is that the confessor gets to know the person’s habits and sins and so forth over time and can provide better advice”.
Yes, and the intent is a good one. But it is puzzling to me.
In a confessional, the priest gets to know the penitents habits, but they are only added to whatever other information the penitent may provide in order for him to understand his state within that time frame. The information is part of the conglomerate. Remember, he can never know when and if the penitent will ever return. There can never be confidence of a follow up type scenario. If the priest sees he is in need of pastoral help because of habit, it was my understanding he would suggest the penitent obtain a separate priest for pastoral or counseling.
This is why I have trouble with the concept of a dedicated pastoral setting “within” a confessional, that is, the expectation that there will be information gained now and used later for continued addressing of an issue, (or whatever it is this practice is supposed to achieve).
In pastoral settings all sorts of caveats are written, with a special care to watch for conflict of interest. The spirit of the Virtus Pastoral Guidelines(r) is a caution to those clergy that minister in the capacities of counselor and spiritual directors. The site specifically states that the confessional seal still applies, and the guidelines are separate from it. It instructs how/if information should be retained and shared. Many dangers and cautions are to be observed, one of which is the dangers of familiarization and social friendships. This is frowned on for cases where parties are friends or acquaintances.
But the confessional seal still applies, and it doesn’t leave much room for effective therapy or the time for it in my view. Not in the lengths of line ups I’ve seen. I guess I’ll need to keep researching to understand how a dedicated confessor can be a dedicated spiritual director to the same penitent/seminarian at the same time.
Forgive me if I didn’t understand you.
(r) xml file
www.virtusonline.org Resources Code of Conduct
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GospelOfMatthew
New member
Wasn’t it Padre Pio who would yell at people who weren’t 100% sorry for their sins and asked them to come back later?
I go to confession at a chapel that has 4-6 different Friars that give confession and they rotate so its really nice to have so many and I have difficulty confessing certain sins most of the time so having a different priest each time is good for me.
Come Holy Spirit, kindle the hearts of your faithful and you will renew the face of the Earth,
- "Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. - Matthew 18:18
I go to confession at a chapel that has 4-6 different Friars that give confession and they rotate so its really nice to have so many and I have difficulty confessing certain sins most of the time so having a different priest each time is good for me.
Come Holy Spirit, kindle the hearts of your faithful and you will renew the face of the Earth,
- Matt
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Tis_Bearself
Patron
I think the idea of confession as a pastoral care activity is rooted back in the days when priests handled small enough flocks that they got to know each person in their flock, and when somebody came to confession, even behind the screen, they probably had at least some idea who the person might be.
Also in the case of many of the great saints, it seems like their regular confessor was also their friend and spiritual advisor.
Therefore, there was some trust relationship there and the priest was also reasonably certain the person would come back. If you lived in some small village and the priest saw you were not going to confession, likely he would be seeking you out asking you why.
Nowadays, with huge parishes, Virtus guidelines, etc the idea of getting regular pastoral care and advice in the confessional is just not going to work for the vast majority of people. I can totally see a spiritual director actually wanting the person to go confess to someone else in order to avoid confessional seal problems.
I myself will just continue to go to whatever priest is handy and count on God to inspire that priest to say what needs to be said to me. I’ve accepted that ongoing spiritual direction is not going to happen for me at this point in my life and possibly not ever. It’s okay, plenty of saints were off on their own without a “guide” for one reason or another, some of them only got to see an actual priest sporadically.
Also in the case of many of the great saints, it seems like their regular confessor was also their friend and spiritual advisor.
Therefore, there was some trust relationship there and the priest was also reasonably certain the person would come back. If you lived in some small village and the priest saw you were not going to confession, likely he would be seeking you out asking you why.
Nowadays, with huge parishes, Virtus guidelines, etc the idea of getting regular pastoral care and advice in the confessional is just not going to work for the vast majority of people. I can totally see a spiritual director actually wanting the person to go confess to someone else in order to avoid confessional seal problems.
I myself will just continue to go to whatever priest is handy and count on God to inspire that priest to say what needs to be said to me. I’ve accepted that ongoing spiritual direction is not going to happen for me at this point in my life and possibly not ever. It’s okay, plenty of saints were off on their own without a “guide” for one reason or another, some of them only got to see an actual priest sporadically.
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MountCarmel
Guest
ahs - Yes, I don’t think the Curie of Ars ever yelled at someone trying to make their Confession with him, nor tell them to go back to their home parish - he patiently listened and advised and mostly gave absolution to them, from whatever parish, and indeed part of the world - for the few not 100% repentant I suspect he would just firmly, and without raising his voice invite them to go to Confession later, when truly ready.
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Al1234
Guest
Sometimes I go to confession in my home parish and other times I go to any one of 4 parishes in my area. It depends on my schedule and they offer the sacrament of reconciliation at different times. One parish (not my own) offers confession every evening of the week except Tuesday, which I find very convenient on my way home form work. I have also been to confession in other towns and countries when I have been traveling on business as I try to go to confession at regular intervals. I have never had a priest deny me the sacrament due to me not being in my home parish.
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1cthlctrth
Guest
One of our priests joked that he was offering “free confessions” in order to encourage it. Unfortunately, the confession lines are not very long at most churches. I’m not sure what people are afraid of. The priests that I associate with are very willing to hear confessions, and they’re very polite and respectful, but also charitable in recognizing sin.
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HeDa
Guest
There is no need for long lines for confession if the Sacrament is offered several times per week in each parish.
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babochka
Guest
Right. The FSSP parish near me always has a few people in line oh, but it is rarely long because confessions are offered every day.
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