Confession before communion...bothering me so

[Kathrin]

okay guys. you’ve made your point

so for now, i’ll abstain myself from receiving holy communion

with regard confession…i have a lot of thinking to do.

thank you so so much

My humble opinion, if I may.
I think the real issue here is not communion and confession.
I mean, of coruse, these things are clear: Communion is WONDERFUL, but may be received only in a state of grace.
Confession is necessary to reach that state of grace if in mortal sin.
That is all clear.
But the real issue here I think isn’t this.
The real issue is:
How can you find a way to abstain from masturbation?
It may sound very difficult and seem impossible, but of course that is not true.
Has it become an addiction? Why is it so important? Can you start by praying to God, right now if you feel like it, to help you overcome this?
Heal you from the addiction, if that is what it is?

And maybe most of all, to find other things to fill that time with.
Because there are CLEAN things to get a lot of joy and satisfaction from.
Things that will leave you feeling clean and white (inside).
Can you think of some things that are not sinful and give you great joy, and write them down?
Things you REALLY like to do but are not sinful.
Maybe play a certain game. Maybe dream a certain daydream (remember, they must be un.sinful things. So not sexual games or dreams, e.g.). Maybe a certain music you listen to. Maybe playing an instrument. Maybe calling up a certain person. Maybe writing poetry?
Make a list and when you feel the urge… choose one of those thigns instead?
Just an idea.
Pray about it.
Life is so full of joys that are morally ok )))) ::yup:::yup::hug1::hug1::hug1:

 

[Edmundus1581]

First of all, there must be no opportunity to confess, but** if canon law suggests you make an act of perfect contrition, then it must be possible.**

Great insight!

It is true, you can’t know if your contrition is perfect, but perfect knowledge is not a requirement, all that is required is the standard of all human action, moral certainty. If you can say an act of contrition truthfully, intending it, then I think you would have moral certainty.

Yes, the canon law requires the act, not it’s subjective perfection.

To the OP,

…
**Almost always my confessor tells me not to be too hard on myself. **so i’m thinking, maybe i can cut myself some slack and disregard the thought of masturbation being a mortal sin

hopefully, those who would answer me would be more compassionate. thanks

I recommend that you follow your confessor’s advice. If you haven’t already put these questions to him directly, then do so, and possibly mention the advice you have received here. This may require a slightly longer time in confession (but not a very long time) so I recommend that you either turn up early for confession (to be first in), or make an appointment. As you attend daily Mass, it may be possible to arrange this easily after Mass. I expect that it is more difficult for a woman to talk directly about sexual matters with a priest than it is for a man, but remember that he has heard it all before. Sometimes we just have to face serious embarrassment in the confessional to make progress (and I’m not only referring to sexual matters).

And, looking at you comments about time zones, I am guessing that you are somewhere in Western Australia, or Indonesia, China, etc. Greetings from Adelaide!

 

[TheRealJuliane]

okay guys. you’ve made your point

so for now, i’ll abstain myself from receiving holy communion

with regard confession…i have a lot of thinking to do.

thank you so so much

Why don’t you just stop masturbating?

You think it’s difficult. It’s not that difficult. Just stop, and when the temptation arises, say a rosary instead.

Don’t give in to the temptation. Change your habits.

Confess with a repentant heart. Try with your whole being not to sin again. It’s what you promise in the act of contrition.

 

[Edmundus1581]

“Lessen or extenuate” being the keys words. Nowhere does it say that it then doesn’t become a mortal sin.

That is what it is saying. If someone’s culpability is lessened or extenuated then grave matter may become subjectively venial sin, or no sin at all, under conditions 2 and 3 for mortal sin.

The quote from the CCC seems to be inaccurate however (possibly it’s from a previous edition). It should be…

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen -]or extenuate/-],** if not even reduce to a minimum, **moral culpability.

Once again, I recommend that the OP consult her confessor. Note that he is the one that the in CCC (above) is responsible for forming an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and taking pastoral action. This doesn’t have to be the result of extended counselling. It’s just normal work in the confessional - as she has already experienced.

 

[pink8888]

Why don’t you just stop masturbating?

why do i feel like a pervert when i read statements like this. i don’t blame you guys really, it’s just that… well i’ve thought about this thing - and have thought that God maybe wouldn’t be disturbed by such “trivial” matters. He’s God! He’s larger than life. worldly things are insignificant.

that the most important thing is to love God above all else and love your neighbours as yourself

BUT i made a resolve to stop. good luck to me

 

[pink8888]

Once again, I recommend that the OP consult her confessor. Note that he is the one that the in CCC (above) is responsible for forming an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and taking pastoral action. This doesn’t have to be the result of extended counselling. It’s just normal work in the confessional - as she has already experienced.

i really want to do just that. talk with my confessor about it. it’s just that im afraid i might sound like im tempting him. or that i might cause him to sin. or…i don’t know. coz some people, just talking about that stuff brings in some bad thoughts, right? and one more thing…i wouldn’t want him to look at me like the girl who does it whenever i’d meet him - coz i do see him often.

my confessor really is a very nice person though.

 

[pink8888]

Plus, I think there are audiobook versions of Story of a Soul out there :yup:

found it last night and i’ve been listening to it since.

very nice book indeed. very easy to listen to. very light, very entertaining. very unlike the one of St. Theresa of Avila which really drained a lot of my energy

again, thank you

 

[Edmundus1581]

i really want to do just that. talk with my confessor about it. it’s just that im afraid i might sound like im tempting him. or that i might cause him to sin. or…i don’t know. coz some people, just talking about that stuff brings in some bad thoughts, right? and one more thing…i wouldn’t want him to look at me like the girl who does it whenever i’d meet him - coz i do see him often.

my confessor really is a very nice person though.

Thankyou for the response. Be brave. I expect you’ll find that your peace of mind and spiritual welfare is important enough to him that he’s glad you asked.

 

[Kathrin]

I think confessoes must be quite used to talking about this kind of stuff?..

 

[pink8888]

I think confessoes must be quite used to talking about this kind of stuff?..

to men maybe. but to women?

 

[Kathrin]

hmmm… but do you think it is that rare in women? I don’t know… you know, before you start, just tell him what you are worried about, and if he tells you it’s quite ok that you proceed, you trust him

 

[Edmundus1581]

I think confessoes must be quite used to talking about this kind of stuff?..

I think so

hmmm… but do you think it is that rare in women? I don’t know… you know, before you start, just tell him what you are worried about, and if he tells you it’s quite ok that you proceed, you trust him

Great advice!

 

[ilySHJ]

Hi, pink

Is it possible to go to Confession anonymously? Perhaps where you aren’t known? Sometimes big churches have Confessions scheduled throughout the week.

Every time you confess with a sincere desire for amendment, you receive the grace to do better the next time. Try very hard to make it to Confession before receiving Communion – even if it means you must go to Confession several times a week.

Remember a time in your life when you were hurt by someone you loved.

Now consider that Jesus loves us infinitely more than we love others.

When we sin, we hurt Him - as deep as His love - that’s how deeply we wound Him.

Ask Jesus to help you love Him so much that you would do anything not to hurt Him.

On Communion, others who attend daily Mass will understand that your love for God is greater than your love for human respect. Thus they will respect you. Most of all you will respect yourself more and grow closer to God.

 

[Kathrin]

i remember seeing people not going to communion… i think then I would pray for them, of coruse not knowing the reason for their not going, but praying for somebody can never hurt
so maybe if you can’t go , somebody will pray for you.

But much more important is going to confession so you ARE again in a state of grace.

 

[pink8888]

Hi, pink

Is it possible to go to Confession anonymously? Perhaps where you aren’t known? Sometimes big churches have Confessions scheduled throughout the week.

i’d rather not since i’ve decided on making my confessor now my regular confessor

Every time you confess with a sincere desire for amendment, you receive the grace to do better the next time.

i really hope this is true

Try very hard to make it to Confession before receiving Communion – even if it means you must go to Confession several times a week.

know what? i am afraid that i might acquire this habit. like i have acquired the habit of going to daily mass and daily visits to the blessed Sacrament. then it would be too much for my heart to handle. whenever i go to confession, i get so terrified and while waiting for my turn, i ask Jesus to please just forgive me and allow me to go home.

Remember a time in your life when you were hurt by someone you loved.

Now consider that Jesus loves us infinitely more than we love others.

When we sin, we hurt Him - as deep as His love - that’s how deeply we wound Him.

guilt trip!

 

[Cristiano]

i’d rather not since i’ve decided on making my confessor now my regular confessor

Good idea to have a regular confessor.

i really hope this is true

It is really true, I am a fervent supporter of frequent confession (weekly) even if you do not have mortal sins to confess. All of our sins are correlated, they feed on each other, and if we fight the venial ones with ardor then we can prevent the mortal ones.

know what? i am afraid that i might acquire this habit. like i have acquired the habit of going to daily mass and daily visits to the blessed Sacrament. then it would be too much for my heart to handle. whenever i go to confession, i get so terrified and while waiting for my turn, i ask Jesus to please just forgive me and allow me to go home.

Habits, practice, are those things that form our virtues and our vices. Going to confession, Mass, and communion can help you in forming your virtues. Talk to your confessor about your concerns. He will guide you with Christ’s love.

guilt trip!

That is not a guilt trip but the development of the true meaning of fear of the Lord, and that is another virtue.

 

[Kathrin]

Pink… I can relate to the fear of going to confession.
Maybe for different reasons in my case, I don’t know.
Rememebr really it is GOD you are tlaking to in confession… GOD WHO IS PURE LOVE, PERFECT PURE LOVE… Who loves you like a loving father but a father so loving we can maybe not even imagine. Above-human love. And He wants nobody to get lost. He cares about each one of us so so so very deeply. We need not fear.

now I am going to say a little prayer for you

 

[pink8888]

Rememebr really it is GOD you are tlaking to in confession…
now I am going to say a little prayer for you

i know!! so that knowledge makes me more self righteous in thinking that i need not tell the priest or anyone else about it. it’s not like He doesn’t know about it already. but of course there’s the teachings of the Catholic church and all…

wow. a prayer for me!! thank you so much. i guess the only way to thank you is to do the same for you.

 

[Kathrin]

thank you
I am in Europe, it is morning here… I am also going to confession today…

You know, the you speak to God THROUGH the priest… it is a sacrament. It is really something wonderful. It also helps to speak it out loud isn’t it so… you know, really admitting to it, isn’t that part of it?

 

[pink8888]

thank you
I am in Europe, it is morning here… I am also going to confession today…

You know, the you speak to God THROUGH the priest… it is a sacrament. It is really something wonderful. It also helps to speak it out loud isn’t it so… you know, really admitting to it, isn’t that part of it?

seems like you’re trying to convince yourself too. good luck with your confession.