Confession Changes

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newconvertcatholic said:
I am so used to confessing before other people in France.
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This. As a fellow European, I’m used to going to the parish’s monthly prayer vigil, which has a 30-minute Adoration during which confessions are heard. The priests just sit in quiet corners of the church and are in plain sight of everybody, as are their penitents. Nobody minds. I give thanks too for the people I see confessing.

(And as far as lack of privacy goes, I’ve also confessed a fair number of times in the rectory’s living room. Actually, I like both of these options much better than the private but tiny, windowless and claustrophobic “reconciliation room”.)
 
I do not think many of these confessionals with glass windows installed have the penitent seating facing the window. I have never seen that. I suppose in the four parishes around me that all have some sort of window, if the person chooses to confess face-to-face to the church, he would be sitting not with his back to the window but with his side to the window. In that case, someone would literally have to be standing at the door and staring in to read their lips.
 
Having shooed people away who are standing at a door staring in the window during confession, I come by my feelings honestly.
 
Wow, in all my years I have never seen that happen. I would have done more than just shooed someone away, I would have reported them to the pastor. I am not doubting your story, but someone should have been very sternly rebuked by someone in authority.
I guess there are no limits to how some people will behave.
 
I think when you take into account that in 1998 the Vatican clarified the current canon and made clear that the confessor does not have to allow the choice of face-to-face, it seems to me the intent is on a preference of anonymity.

Would love more historical info on St Charles Borromeos actions with regards to this in the 16th century.
 
Dlee said:
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HeDa:
I would hate to be met by someone saying: “I saw you crying in the confessional. Did you have serious sins to confess?”
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What kind of a person would say something like this?
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Some well-meaning person with a serious lack of social skills. Maybe somebody on the autism spectrum.

I know someone who is like this. While she wouldn’t ask if you had something really horrible to confess, she definitely doesn’t have the good sense to not comment if somebody comes out of confession crying. She’s the sort of person who just hovers around, waiting to see if there’s something that she can do to help. It isn’t deliberate, she just lacks boundaries.

In the Byzantine Rite, confession is always out in the open and I generally don’t mind it at all, but I have been known to avoid going to confession if this person is around.
 
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Well, this all reminds me of a previous thread we had on this forum about asking our spouses either why they did not receive communion or what they confessed. At the time, I was shocked that people felt these were perfectly fine questions to ask of one’s spouse. That being the case, its not that big of step to think its okay to ask why someone is crying coming out of the confessional.
People suffer from a severe lack of catechisis.
 
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I’ve had a woman ask me what I what I had said in my first confession when I was about to be received into the Catholic Church. There are people who lack social skills as well as understanding that something could be private. And then there are some whose “job description” is to be a gossiper.

After teaching all these years, there is nothing that surprises me anymore what people do, say or why they believe the things they do. Seeing their body language reveals a lot about them as well.
 
HeDa said:
I’ve had a woman ask me what I what I had said in my first confession when I was about to be received into the Catholic Church. There are people who lack social skills as well as understanding that something could be private. And then there are some whose “job description” is to be a gossiper.
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I had someone ask me what I was going to confess once at youth camp. When I told her I wouldn´t share it - she said she was just kidding?

My mom would also imply that I was too hard on myself when I went often to Confession for a while. I know she means well, but it´s really none of her business. I´m trying to help my mother see the great gift Confession really is these days.
But no one should ever comment on or question another person´s Confession habits. We can try to help and encourage, but that´s where it ends.
 
Or seriously thinking if it is going to be worth it to smack the lady in the face and have to go to confession again. “Father, I hit a lady in the face when she asked me what I had confessed and I don’t regret it at all. In fact, I would do it again!”. 🤣

Bedtime…
 
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I’ve gone to confession in a standard confessional, at the altar rail, and in the pew. If I’m confessing out in the open it doesn’t bother me, but I still don’t like windows on standard confessionals. What’s the point? Priest and penitent are in separate rooms!
 
OddBird said:
The priests just sit in quiet corners of the church and are in plain sight of everybody, as are their penitents. Nobody minds. I give thanks too for the people I see confessing.
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This is the norm for Orthodox as well. The Priest and penitent go to a quiet part of the church (usually a corner some distance from everyone else). Nothing is heard but it’s clear that confession is going on.
 
I know I’m being a glib newbie here but I don’t give a flying fig who sees me as long as I can confess. I am not ashamed about crying - weirdly, I am not ‘a cryer’ but I will usually have tears when the priest is counselling me. What’s the worst that can happen ? Who is the next person in line that they can stand between you and grace ? I understand that people feel weird about windows - ours are frosted glass and separated or else you just sit with the priest. Don’t worry about being seen - it really really really really doesn’t matter in comparison to being absolved
 
Have there ever been reports of sexual abuse in a confessional?

Listen, everyone, you think I’m off by a mile. But get this–SafeSport made a rule that coaches can’t be in the locker room with their student competitors! And neither can PARENTS!!!

We joke about it, but many of us in the figure skating world think, in our darkest moments of despair, that eventually, coaches won’t be allowed in the rink with their students, but will be forced to coach them through a headset from a far-away place, probably while being guarded, and also their coaching will be recorded and reviewed later for any hints of sexual harassment or grooming.

It will sure make Olympic figure skating interesting, won’t it? I’m guessing a lot of people would tune in to see the skaters warming-up with headsets, and stopping every now and then to process when their coach, who is in a “safe room” many miles away, gives them suggestions and last-minute encouragement.

And what will the Kiss and Cry look like with no coach to hug their skater/team after a good (or dismal) skate (actually, I think hugging might be forbidden now by SafeSport).

So don’t be too sure that I’m wrong. All it will take is one reported incident of harassment in the Confessional. Sigh. What a world.
 
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