Confession, Communion, Forgiveness Question

[Irish_Hare]

I was wondeirng if anyone had any advice re: this question:

I am a young adult living at home with aprents. We don’t get along so well. A major part of the problem is a lot of blame and guilt about past mistakes or ommisions and sins on both sides - between me, on the one hand, and my parents, on the other.

Anyway, we have rows and arguments. I used to apologise, but my apologies grew meaningless to my parents as nothing changed.

Last Holy Saturday, I made a confession of my sins, and I received Holy Communion at the Easter Vigil. Today I made another confession in preparation for Divine Mercy Sunday.

It was only after my confession that I realised I had forgotten a couple of sins. Fine, I thoguht, I can mention them next time. HOWEVER… I realised (after I’d made my confession this evening) that I had actually received HC at the Easter Vigil whilst I was still not reconciled to my earthly father. I remembered this evening the bit in the Gospel when the Lord says something about leaving your offering at the altar and being reconciled to your brother before you make your sacrifice so it will be pure. SO what do you do after you made your confession, you have an awakening about something which you did not see as something you needed to confess, not simply that you forgot to mention it, but that you hadn’t thought of it as something needing to be confessed (i.e. my reception of HC at the Easter Vigil without having been reconciled to my earthly father).

My predicament is this: I made a confession last weekend and I thought I’d been made right with God, and I received HC, but the fact was I was still not reconciled with my earthly father. Then I made a confession this evening, but did not include that fact, not because I deliberately decided to, but that it did not occur to me.

My question is this: Did I make a sacrilegious communion at the Easter Vigil?

I am currently writing a letter to my parents seeking forgiveness and apologising. But do I need to avoid Holy Communion tomorrow? I am confused about what is required of me.

I hope this makes sense and someone can advise me. If you need clarification, just let me know.

 

[jtodisco]

You must have faith in God’s mercy and love for you. God is not a lawyer looking for any technicality He can find to disqualify you from receiving His forgiveness. The key is sincerity. If you sincerely repent and receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation you are forgiven of all of your sins, even ones you forgot to mention. It is only when insincerity comes in that problems begin. If you purposely did not confess a mortal sin during the Sacrament of Reconciliation then you would invalidate your confession. If you purposely lied during the Sacrament of Reconciliation you would invalidate your confession. But mistakes happen and God is not looking to punish you for your mistakes. The whole point of confession is that God wants to forgive us our mistakes!

Now, I understand how you feel about not being reconciled with someone and receiving Holy Eucharist. You should make the effort to be reconciled with your parents. However, again when you received Holy Eucharist you did not do so knowing you were not reconciled with your parents and thinking “so what, I don’t care”. You received with pure intentions and in a state of grace, so you did not profane the Holy Eucharist. I’ll add that sometimes it is impossible to reconcile oneself with another without God’s intervention. Reconciliation, both the Sacrament and the daily practice of reconciling ourselves with others is a two way street. Just as God forgives us before we even enter the confessional so you too could forgive your parents, but if they don’t accept that forgiveness then there is nothing you can do. Just as if God forgives us our sins but we do not accept His forgiveness there is nothing He can do because He respects our freedom.

You mentioned preparing for Divine Mercy Sunday, I think it would be best for me to end this post by suggesting you meditate on the Lord’s Mercy as He revealed it to Saint Faustina. If you truly believe in the Lord’s Mercy then the troubles you are currently experiencing will vanish because you will realize that God’s Mercy is fathomless and that He turns no one away who approaches His Mercy.

Good luck with your parents and God bless.

 

[Irish_Hare]

You must have faith in God’s mercy and love for you. God is not a lawyer looking for any technicality He can find to disqualify you from receiving His forgiveness. The key is sincerity. If you sincerely repent and receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation you are forgiven of all of your sins, even ones you forgot to mention. It is only when insincerity comes in that problems begin. If you purposely did not confess a mortal sin during the Sacrament of Reconciliation then you would invalidate your confession. If you purposely lied during the Sacrament of Reconciliation you would invalidate your confession. But mistakes happen and God is not looking to punish you for your mistakes. The whole point of confession is that God wants to forgive us our mistakes!

Now, I understand how you feel about not being reconciled with someone and receiving Holy Eucharist. You should make the effort to be reconciled with your parents. However, again when you received Holy Eucharist you did not do so knowing you were not reconciled with your parents and thinking “so what, I don’t care”. You received with pure intentions and in a state of grace, so you did not profane the Holy Eucharist. I’ll add that sometimes it is impossible to reconcile oneself with another without God’s intervention. Reconciliation, both the Sacrament and the daily practice of reconciling ourselves with others is a two way street. Just as God forgives us before we even enter the confessional so you too could forgive your parents, but if they don’t accept that forgiveness then there is nothing you can do. Just as if God forgives us our sins but we do not accept His forgiveness there is nothing He can do because He respects our freedom.

You mentioned preparing for Divine Mercy Sunday, I think it would be best for me to end this post by suggesting you meditate on the Lord’s Mercy as He revealed it to Saint Faustina. If you truly believe in the Lord’s Mercy then the troubles you are currently experiencing will vanish because you will realize that God’s Mercy is fathomless and that He turns no one away who approaches His Mercy.

Good luck with your parents and God bless.

Thanks for that.

You know, my attitude last weekend was this: I’ve confessed my sins to God, but as regards my parents, they are long past the stage of being tired of my empty apologies - what they want to see is real change in me. SO I figured I did not need to actually apologise to them before my confession and HC. I had very good reason for thinking this, as past apologies have not really gone down very well, so I figured there was no point, and instead I simply confessed my sins in the Confessional, then received HC.

I guess I just want to be sure that I can receive HC tomorrow with a clean conscience. I certainly don’t want to commit another sin by receiving HC unworthily. Tomorrow though, it may not be so easy for me to get confession, and it might prove impossible as I have some commitments in the afternoon at the church where there will be Divine Mercy devotions and confession… but no Mass, and therefore no Holy Communion!

Gosh, for a moment there, having seen your signature, I thought Fr. Robert Barron had answered my question!

I’m a bit scrupulous but I am also a real sinner, and I don’t want to make excuses for myself in any way, but I’ve never come across this predicament before. My own gut response would be this: just as, had you forgotten a sin in the confessional, you could receive HC, so long as you endeavour to include those sins at the next confession, so too, if you failed to mention something that you didn’t realise needed confessing, so too you can receive HC as long as you mention it next time. However, what is different in this case, as far as I am concerned, is that the forgotten sin (the unrealised sin) is an unworthy Holy Communion, so I don’t want to be committing sacrilege tomorrow on Divine Mercy Sunday!

It seems to be that my sin was not confession without reconciliation with parents, but rather the HC recieved after, which was (I think) unworthy. At my confession this evening, I should have mentioned an unworthy communion, but it did not occur to me to confess that 'til after confession and I had been sitting thinking in the church about things. Then I realised that I had failed to include the technically unworthy HC last weekend.

 

[Irish_Hare]

If you have any other comments or thoughts jtodisco, I’d love to hear them, as I would love to hear from anyone with any advice or opinions on my last post. I am going to go to bed shortly, so I hope maybe somebody will reply in time!

God bless!

 

[Bookcat]

Your confession today…was not “hiding” any mortal sin. You were trying to make a good confession and were contrite and amended…you just forgot something (yes I read your posts here…I understand the details…so quiet any scruple here). Therefore the forgotten or “not thought of things”…even if mortal …were absolved (you are still obliged to confess any mortal sins of course in the next confession…to submit them to the keys…).

You are now amending with your parents by apologizing even in a letter!..so it is great to get everything better before Mass for Mercy Sunday…mercy mercy mercy…

So since you where absolved…and have not committed any mortal sins since your confession…you can receive Holy Communion

(as for future events…talk with your confessor about the “event” of the having someone mad at you etc and still being able to go to confession and Communion in the meantime…for Jesus is yes giving us his wonderful saying about leaving the gift etc which is important and should form us…but you should not scruple about this either…in life there may be many times when someone is mad at you…and you can not go reconcile before Communion (except on your end via confession if need be…and forgiveness etc)…and I do not think that one is necessarily per se obliged to reconcile first…(though perhaps one could be at times…)…go speak with your confessor about this)

(I personally try to do this myself…I do not like having anyone angry at me or hurt by me …etc and leaving it that way…but one must not take things in a scrupled way either…and sometimes one will indeed have “enemies” in life…who no matter what one does…will remain so from their side…) …

 

[joplee]

It sounds like your confession was valid. Don’t worry about it. The good news is that it appears that the Holy Spirit has convicted you, which is a blessing and God’s grace. Knowing and understanding our sin allows us to avoid that sin and grow closer to God. I find that frequent confession allows the Holy Spirit to give us the knowledge of sins that we are unaware of.

 

[WingsOfEagles]

I think you’re still forgiven My understanding of Church teaching is we are forgiven of all our sins that we confess and any that we legit forget. The only time you have a problem is if you purposely leave out a sin/downplay it because you are embarrassed to tell the priest.

 

[Irish_Hare]

Thank you everyone for your helpful replies.

Happy Divine Mercy Sunday!

 

[puzzleannie]

I wa
My predicament is this: I made a confession last weekend and I thought I’d been made right with God, and I received HC, but the fact was I was still not reconciled with my earthly father. Then I made a confession this evening, but did not include that fact, not because I deliberately decided to, but that it did not occur to me.

My question is this: Did I make a sacrilegious communion at the Easter Vigil?

.

you received communion in the context of Mass which includes a penitential rite (in this case replaced by the profession of faith if there were baptisms, in which we confess belief in the forgiveness of sins) so yes you were reconciled and yes you received communion worthily unless you deliberately withheld mortal sins in your last confession.

 

[Chatter163]

All good advice above, to which I would add: It’s time for you to move out and go on your own.

 

[The_free_bird]

Your confession today…was not “hiding” any mortal sin. You were trying to make a good confession and were contrite and amended…you just forgot something (yes I read your posts here…I understand the details…so quiet any scruple here). Therefore the forgotten or “not thought of things”…even if mortal …were absolved (you are still obliged to confess any mortal sins of course in the next confession…to submit them to the keys…).

You are now amending with your parents by apologizing even in a letter!..so it is great to get everything better before Mass for Mercy Sunday…mercy mercy mercy…

So since you where absolved…and have not committed any mortal sins since your confession…you can receive Holy Communion

(as for future events…talk with your confessor about the “event” of the having someone mad at you etc and still being able to go to confession and Communion in the meantime…for Jesus is yes giving us his wonderful saying about leaving the gift etc which is important and should form us…but you should not scruple about this either…in life there may be many times when someone is mad at you…and you can not go reconcile before Communion (except on your end via confession if need be…and forgiveness etc)…and I do not think that one is necessarily per se obliged to reconcile first…(though perhaps one could be at times…)…go speak with your confessor about this)

(I personally try to do this myself…I do not like having anyone angry at me or hurt by me …etc and leaving it that way…but one must not take things in a scrupled way either…and sometimes one will indeed have “enemies” in life…who no matter what one does…will remain so from their side…) …

Hello,

Is it also that way, when a child is recieving first communion and the parents are teaching her (because she is not going in catholic school, in south-India), that they have also make confession first. They can teach only without mortal sins and afterwards their child can have First communion?
God bless, Cathy

 

[Irish_Hare]

All good advice above, to which I would add: It’s time for you to move out and go on your own.

Indeed. I need a job first though.

Thanks again to everybody for your kind and helpful advice.

 

[JohnMPhilomena]

First of all, as a father of my own teenagers, let me apologize for your parents. I know I have been far from perfect in dealing with my own. I have sinned in pride and been selfish. It’s a struggle. It has only been the last couple of years that I’ve learned that as a parent I have to be Christ-like. He never demanded that anyone obey him, or follow him. He was a servant to us all and even washied his disciples feet.

So as I struggle with my own holiness, I try to love more, forgive more, and pursue my selfish interests less. I try to set a good example to my family.

But it’s still a struggle, because I’m human. But I can tell you, that despite when I fall and anger grips me, I still love my children. I would walk through fire for any one of them. When they are in trouble, I would offer myself in their place.

So, forgive your parents when they are imperfect. Forgive your self too. Try hard to be obedient and hold your tongue when you are being chastised even if you think they don’t understand your point of view.

It’s really hard during the teen years. Parents are still trying to control, when they need to be letting go. Many teens reach the point where they think they know everything, so they refuse to listen.

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Your confession was valid, because you did not intend to omit anything. Since, it was a valid confession, ALL of your sins were forgiven.

 

[Irish_Hare]

But it’s still a struggle, because I’m human. But I can tell you, that despite when I fall and anger grips me, I still love my children. I would walk through fire for any one of them. When they are in trouble, I would offer myself in their place.

Thanks for your post.

My parents have said the same thing to me in the past!

 

[Irish_Hare]

Hello,

Is it also that way, when a child is recieving first communion and the parents are teaching her (because she is not going in catholic school, in south-India), that they have also make confession first. They can teach only without mortal sins and afterwards their child can have First communion?
God bless, Cathy

One need not be in a state of grace to teach the faith, although it is very much preferable. Just as a priest in mortal sin can still offer valid sacraments, although it is not a good thing (for the priest, since he will commit sacrilege), the unworthiness of the priest does not affect sacramental validity, so too a person in mortal sin could still teach the faith, though their catechesis might ring hollow if they do not live what they teach.

 

[PJM]

=Irish Hare;7819645]I was wondeirng if anyone had any advice re: this question:

I am a young adult living at home with aprents. We don’t get along so well. A major part of the problem is a lot of blame and guilt about past mistakes or ommisions and sins on both sides - between me, on the one hand, and my parents, on the other.

Anyway, we have rows and arguments. I used to apologise, but my apologies grew meaningless to my parents as nothing changed.

Last Holy Saturday, I made a confession of my sins, and I received Holy Communion at the Easter Vigil. Today I made another confession in preparation for Divine Mercy Sunday.

It was only after my confession that I realised I had forgotten a couple of sins. Fine, I thoguht, I can mention them next time. HOWEVER… I realised (after I’d made my confession this evening) that I had actually received HC at the Easter Vigil whilst I was still not reconciled to my earthly father. I remembered this evening the bit in the Gospel when the Lord says something about leaving your offering at the altar and being reconciled to your brother before you make your sacrifice so it will be pure. SO what do you do after you made your confession, you have an awakening about something which you did not see as something you needed to confess, not simply that you forgot to mention it, but that you hadn’t thought of it as something needing to be confessed (i.e. my reception of HC at the Easter Vigil without having been reconciled to my earthly father).

My predicament is this: I made a confession last weekend and I thought I’d been made right with God, and I received HC, but the fact was I was still not reconciled with my earthly father. Then I made a confession this evening, but did not include that fact, not because I deliberately decided to, but that it did not occur to me.

My question is this: Did I make a sacrilegious communion at the Easter Vigil?

I am currently writing a letter to my parents seeking forgiveness and apologising. But do I need to avoid Holy Communion tomorrow? I am confused about what is required of me.

I hope this makes sense and someone can advise me. If you need clarification, just let me know.

No intent to sin = always and every time NO MORTAL SIN! God reads our hearts.

Go to Communion and in your next Confession tell Father what happened.

BY ALL MEANS AND WHAT EVER IT TAKES RECONCILE WITH YOUR PARENTS. IF THEY ARE NOT LEADING YOU INTO SINFUL ACTIONS YOU MUST LET BYGONES BE BYGONES…EVEN IF THEY DON’T. READ: Mt. 5:11-13…

**Mt. 5: 23-24 **So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift."

Christ is to be received with a PURE heart and PURE Conscience:thumbsup:

God Bless you,
Pat

 

[Irish_Hare]

No intent to sin = always and every time NO MORTAL SIN! God reads our hearts.

Go to Communion and in your next Confession tell Father what happened.

BY ALL MEANS AND WHAT EVER IT TAKES RECONCILE WITH YOUR PARENTS. IF THEY ARE NOT LEADING YOU INTO SINFUL ACTIONS YOU MUST LET BYGONES BE BYGONES…EVEN IF THEY DON’T. READ: Mt. 5:11-13…

**Mt. 5: 23-24 **So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift."

Christ is to be received with a PURE heart and PURE Conscience:thumbsup:

God Bless you,
Pat

Thanks, that’s good advice.

 

[Mintaka]

Cathy said:

Is it also that way, when a child is recieving first communion and the parents are teaching her (because she is not going in catholic school, in south-India), that they have also make confession first. They can teach only without mortal sins and afterwards their child can have First communion?

It’s not required.

It would be very good to go to Confession, though, and it would probably bring a child many graces for her parents to teach her while they’re in a state of grace.

(And we never should stay in mortal sin if we can get to Confession.)

 

[Bookcat]

Hello,

Is it also that way, when a child is recieving first communion and the parents are teaching her (because she is not going in catholic school, in south-India), that they have also make confession first. They can teach only without mortal sins and afterwards their child can have First communion?
God bless, Cathy

A great reading for you and the Children:

vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cevang/p_missionary_works/infantia/documents/rc_ic_infantia_doc_20090324_boletin13p6_en.html

And yes a Child is to make their first Confession BEFORE First Holy Communion.

Canon Law:

Can. 914 It is primarily the duty of parents and those who take the place of parents, as well as the duty of pastors, to take care that children who have reached the use of reason are prepared properly and, after they have made sacramental confession, are refreshed with this divine food as soon as possible. It is for the pastor to exercise vigilance so that children who have not attained the use of reason or whom he judges are not sufficiently disposed do not approach holy communion.

Catechism:

1457 According to the Church’s command, “after having attained the age of discretion, each of the faithful is bound by an obligation faithfully to confess serious sins at least once a year.” Anyone who is aware of having committed a mortal sin must not receive Holy Communion, even if he experiences deep contrition, without having first received sacramental absolution, unless he has a grave reason for receiving Communion and there is no possibility of going to confession. Children must go to the sacrament of Penance before receiving Holy Communion for the first time.

also read: cuf.org/faithfacts/details_view.asp?ffID=62

 

[The_free_bird]

Hello,
Is it so when the child is recieving the first communion, the parents have to make a confession, too -before the holy day of their child? In that case when parents are teaching.
God Bless, Cathy

I was wondeirng if anyone had any advice re: this question:

I am a young adult living at home with aprents. We don’t get along so well. A major part of the problem is a lot of blame and guilt about past mistakes or ommisions and sins on both sides - between me, on the one hand, and my parents, on the other.

Anyway, we have rows and arguments. I used to apologise, but my apologies grew meaningless to my parents as nothing changed.

Last Holy Saturday, I made a confession of my sins, and I received Holy Communion at the Easter Vigil. Today I made another confession in preparation for Divine Mercy Sunday.

It was only after my confession that I realised I had forgotten a couple of sins. Fine, I thoguht, I can mention them next time. HOWEVER… I realised (after I’d made my confession this evening) that I had actually received HC at the Easter Vigil whilst I was still not reconciled to my earthly father. I remembered this evening the bit in the Gospel when the Lord says something about leaving your offering at the altar and being reconciled to your brother before you make your sacrifice so it will be pure. SO what do you do after you made your confession, you have an awakening about something which you did not see as something you needed to confess, not simply that you forgot to mention it, but that you hadn’t thought of it as something needing to be confessed (i.e. my reception of HC at the Easter Vigil without having been reconciled to my earthly father).

My predicament is this: I made a confession last weekend and I thought I’d been made right with God, and I received HC, but the fact was I was still not reconciled with my earthly father. Then I made a confession this evening, but did not include that fact, not because I deliberately decided to, but that it did not occur to me.

My question is this: Did I make a sacrilegious communion at the Easter Vigil?

I am currently writing a letter to my parents seeking forgiveness and apologising. But do I need to avoid Holy Communion tomorrow? I am confused about what is required of me.

I hope this makes sense and someone can advise me. If you need clarification, just let me know.