Confession Concern

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nsper7 said:
Well, I spoke fast when I was confessing some intrusive thoughts (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thoughts). These are thoughts that enter my mind–usually nasty, sexual and/or violent. They would be about God, the Virgin Mary, homosexual, pedophilial, etc. and they are not thoughts I want or anything. They are nasty and, unfortunately, a key symptom of Scrupulosity. Well, when I was telling the Priest the thoughts, I spoke quickly when I mentioned some of the nasty sexual thoughts that cross my mind because they are embarassing and I don’t want the Priest to think I’m a pervert because it is not really like that. Even though I have read they are not sinful thoughts, I still worry and confess them because I worry that through sins (i.e. lust or anger), it is kind of like I invite these thoughts in or something.
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Ack, you don’t need to confess that stuff, or at least don’t need to mention the specific thoughts. Believe me, I know what you are talking about, and would say without a doubt not to mention the specific thoughts.

I have been plagued with this problem, and I would say something like: “Some unwanted and blasphemous thoughts came to mind unintentionally, when I was praying or doing religious reading.” I think that’s plenty enough. You don’t need to confess it, but I would just so you can have the grace God provides through that sacrament to get rid of those thoughts.
 
I also worry that since I remove the Brown Scapular I wear when I do those sexual RPG sins, I worry that now I have invalidated Mother Mary’s promises attached the Scapular.

I have the same fears because I sometimes say the Devotion of the Three Hail Mary’s at odd times (i.e. real late) and I took a break from saying the Rosary. I sometimes worry that since I have presumed on God’s grace and mercy and Mother Mary’s promises of intercession, I have now lost her intercessions.
 
nsper7 said:
I still worry and confess them because I worry that through sins (i.e. lust or anger), it is kind of like I invite these thoughts in or something.
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If one is in a state of mortal sin through committing sins of say lust/ anger does not mean you decided to think these particulae thoughts,so no you do not invite these thoughts in,however being in a state of mortal sin makes one more prone to these thoughts…
kinda like sitting naked in the rain…being a sitting duck,
 
nsper7 said:
I also worry that since I remove the Brown Scapular I wear when I do those sexual RPG sins, I worry that now I have invalidated Mother Mary’s promises attached the Scapular.

I have the same fears because I sometimes say the Devotion of the Three Hail Mary’s at odd times (i.e. real late) and I took a break from saying the Rosary. I sometimes worry that since I have presumed on God’s grace and mercy and Mother Mary’s promises of intercession, I have now lost her intercessions.
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You are trying to do God’s will, even if you sometimes fall. Consider this: Mary is far more faithful than you are. If you are continuing to try to keep good faith, even with your failings, how can you doubt her?
 
nsper7 said:
I also worry that since I remove the Brown Scapular I wear when I do those sexual RPG sins, I worry that now I have invalidated Mother Mary’s promises attached the Scapular.
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the way I’ve always thought, is that with the Scapular, you can just start again. 🙂
but try to take steps to stay away from these online games. Maybe use a computer program to block them. Try to stay away from temptation, don’t JUST fight it, avoid occasions of sin, so you won’t be tempted.
I have the same fears because I sometimes say the Devotion of the Three Hail Mary’s at odd times (i.e. real late) and I took a break from saying the Rosary. I sometimes worry that since I have presumed on God’s grace and mercy and Mother Mary’s promises of intercession, I have now lost her intercessions.
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our Blessed Mother is very merciful. She wants us to be saved. Just repent and humbly ask for her intercession and help. She, like Jesus, does not reject a contrite heart 🙂

God bless.
 
If you were me going to Confession for the sexual RPG sins, how would you confess them so that you meet the requirements for a valid Confession, but avoid going into embarrassing or inappropriate detail?
 
It is sometimes tough for me to know how to confess sins sometimes (how much detail to go into, etc.).
 
nsper7 said:
If you were me going to Confession for the sexual RPG sins, how would you confess them so that you meet the requirements for a valid Confession, but avoid going into embarrassing or inappropriate detail?
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Is the preist your regular confessor?
I have sinned by being an occassion of sin to others,through written word via rpg’s…
Single men say they have sinned by fornication through mb,married men carry the greater sin of adultry.
Impure thoughts can be confessed by saying taken delight in or enertained impure thoughts
If one is tempted but does not give these thoughts any more room in their mind it could be said that one suffers from impure thoughts.

Fear is a great enemy yet it can also be our friend.
 
When I next go to Confession, how do I confess this addendum to the whole RPing thing?

Basically, the way the sin works is that one joins an RPing message board (similar to this forum, except instead of it being a Catholic discussion forum, it is an RPing forum) and then PM (Private Message…again, similar to the system here…I am just saying this so that those unfamiliar with RPing can get a picture of the situation) individuals who RPing as female characters (and who are female IRL) to ask if they want to use their characters in an adult situation (usually role played through a 3rd-party instant messenger like AIM/MSN IM/YIM or the PM system).

Anyway, this can bother/irritate/anger/offend some RPers who refuse to get involved in that kind of thing. Invariably, they will sometimes complain to the Admins/Moderators, thus causing myself to get banned from the site–if it is a ‘legitimate’ RPing site, they usually do not like that kind of sexual stuff.

So, I received a less-than-nice from the Admins of one of these sites, angered because I had been on several of their site, PMing their RPers, etc. So, this person accused me of sexual harassment, threatened to give my e-mail and IP to the cops, etc. (I have to assume they were either bluffing or not very knowledgeable of the law because there really isn’t a crime here because we are not talking about trying to get someone to do something in real life and its not like I hound them, at least I don’t think, if they refuse, but whatever) and telling me to stay away from their sites, which I did and I noted their names so I would get involved in any of their sites in the future.

Now, do I need to tell any of this extraneous information (i.e. their e-mail and stuff) to the Priest at my next Confession?
 
So, does anyone have any ideas of what I should say at my next Confession?
 
How about, “…and I violated the rules of some of the websites I was using.”

Betsy
 
I went to Confession again and I still worry about invalidating Confessions. I told the Priest I was worried about my last Confession because I may not have mentioned that RPing w/ someone 16, while legal in FL (according to FL law, as long as you are under 24 and the other person 16 or older, there is no statutory issues, which I dunno if that carried over in this issue, maybe I am wrong in general), maybe illegal in other states, but I don’t know if I purposely withheld the information last week (thinking it not necessary), accidentally forgot it or told him and forgot now that I had told him last week.

I tend to get nervous in Confession and worry that I forgot something (which I usually end up doing), misspoke or something like that. Should I assume my Confessions are valid?
 
When I told the Priest I was worried about last week’s Confession, he said that if I did not purposely withhold information, then it is not a problem, but then I said I may have withheld the information because I was certain if I needed to give it or not (I still do not remember: did I purposely withhold, did I forget or did I mention the legal issue fully and forgot that I did later). He must have misunderstood me, which I think I realize he did, but then still left. I worry now a little bit.
 
Pax et bonum, nsper7.

God is not a spiteful God. He does not look for excuses to condemn you.

You must ask yourself this simple question: “Did I intentionally look to deceive the priest?”

If the answer is no, then go in peace and trust in God’s mercy.

If the answer is yes, go to confession and confess it all over again, and everything else you confessed in that confession. Remember this: You may deceive the priest, but you cannot deceive God.

My feeling is that you aren’t trying to deceive anyone.

Maybe this will be a motivator to never commit this sin again, since it’s put you in such a pickle. 🙂
 
Another thing I worried about is that I was manipulative. I asked a question about the following:

When doing non-sexual RPGs (and there is a major difference in my mind…the sexual RPGs are just written porno basically, but when I do non-sexual RPGs, it is a way for me to put my imagination to use and such) and I have been told these are not sinful (IOW RPing is not sinful, only if it enters into the sexual realm), it can happen where someone assumes something sinful/inappropriate about said character, even though it is not my intention to do anything sinful/inappropriate with the character and the Priest said it is not sinful if other people assume things that are inappropriate. I asked the Priest if he wanted to know more about the character in case that affected things, but he said ‘no’.

I worry I was manipulative because, and this character was from a long time ago although I mentioned it today, I did not want to go into more detail with the Priest (although I would have if he asked or told me to tell him more). The reason I did not want to go into more detail was because the character I had created was a clergy character (a Bishop) and it works to keep me from doing inappropriate scenes because I NEVER use those types of characters (clergy) in inappropriate scenes, but someone assumed something possibly inappropriate about the character. Awhile back, I had a Priest tell me that using clergy chars–again, as with any character, as long as one is not doing anything inappropriate (i.e. sexual RPing), then it is okay.

Part of what is difficult is that I do not know always how much information to go into on Confessions and this Priest tells me I go into too much detail already on stuff. It is like I do not always know my own mind. Was I trying to be deceitful or just trying to go into the least of amount as possible while still making a valid Confession (the Priest said the latter is okay)?

EDIT: I want to think I am being too Scrupulous about my Confessions and, as this Priest said, I already go into too much detail.
 
I am thinking of doing the following to resolve this:
  1. Pray an ‘Act of Contrition’ (the Priest never gave me a chance to say it Confession)
  2. Pray an ‘Act of Thanksgiving’
  3. Do my Penance
  4. Ask St. John of Nepomuk, who patronage includes making good Confessions, to pray for me that God will accept my Confession (I think I will actually write down the prayer as a Post-Confession prayer and write down another Pre-Confession Prayer to St. John of Nepomuk)
EDIT: I am pretty certain I would not withhold information from the Priest if I knew I had to give it. My problem is not always knowing what is necessary information and what is extraneous and superfluous. And I worry that by asking the Priest questions like “Should I give more information on this issue?” or “Do you need more details?” I am being manipulative since I am hoping, maybe even assuming, that the Priest will say ‘no’.
 
nsper7 said:
I am thinking of doing the following to resolve this:
  1. Pray an ‘Act of Contrition’ (the Priest never gave me a chance to say it Confession)
  2. Pray an ‘Act of Thanksgiving’
  3. Do my Penance
  4. Ask St. John of Nepomuk, who patronage includes making good Confessions, to pray for me that God will accept my Confession (I think I will actually write down the prayer as a Post-Confession prayer and write down another Pre-Confession Prayer to St. John of Nepomuk)
EDIT: I am pretty certain I would not withhold information from the Priest if I knew I had to give it. My problem is not always knowing what is necessary information and what is extraneous and superfluous. And I worry that by asking the Priest questions like “Should I give more information on this issue?” or “Do you need more details?” I am being manipulative since I am hoping, maybe even assuming, that the Priest will say ‘no’.
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Today, I hoped the priest would not ask for more details about something. However, I told God that if He wanted me to give more details, I would do so. So I think as long as you are willing, if asked, it’s OK. That’s just my opinion though.
 
nsper7, honey, just think how much simpler your life would be if you gave up this whole role playing business altogether. There are many ways to be creative that don’t lead you into sin - why not find one?

Please give it some serious thought.

Betsy
 
baltobetsy said:
nsper7, honey, just think how much simpler your life would be if you gave up this whole role playing business altogether. There are many ways to be creative that don’t lead you into sin - why not find one?

Please give it some serious thought.

Betsy
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What are better ways to use one’s overactive imagination then?
 
I know a couple roleplaying spots that are PG-13. Though I grant you, the first site (my site) tends to move in spurts. Sometimes fast and in between the spurts, very slow. It could be called “punctuated great fun.”

atharon.net/phpBB3/index.php
entmoot.tolkientrail.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9

There are a lot of secular people on the second site, but it’s a good place all the same, so long as you’re strong in your faith and can hold your own. You won’t have any problems with faith in the roleplaying forum, just in General Messages forum, should you venture there. Which I didn’t do for years. It’s unnecessary.

Another option you could explore is my personal favorite: Write a book! I love writing fantasy or historical fiction books. It’s great fun, splendid use for the imagination, and very constructive. It improves one’s writings skills and one’s plot ideas. And, as I already mentioned, it’s just plain really great fun :D.

Or you could write short stories on my Atharon site. My siblings and some roleplaying friends, and I, have posted short stories there, generally to give back-story for the characters we play in the RPGs.
 
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