Confession Concern

[wworld]

This problem occurred to me today and hasn’t been out of my mind since.

If someone commits a mortal sin, they’re required to confess how many times they’ve committed it. But what if one can’t remember how many times?

Truth is, I committed some mortal sins some time ago (don’t judge me! It’s rude and sinful! ) and confessed it. I didn’t know how many times I committed it, so I said this:

“Sometimes, when I am [insert activity here] I fall into [insert grave sin here].”

Or something like that. This week or so, it occurred to me that I could’ve used “numerously.”

Did this invalidate my confession, essentially still leaving me without God’s grace? Which would mean that I’ve also been living my religious life as a lie this whole time and shouldn’t be receiving communion?

It was hard enough confessing one time. I really don’t want to confess a second time. All because I used the word “sometimes” because I completely forgot (I can’t remember if i knew or not, but I think I didn’t) that I could have used “numerously”

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Confessing actually gets easier, not harder, believe it or not, and you feel so good afterwards. If it is bothering you, confess that sin again, and this time, get more specific about how often you committed the sin. You know that you were repentant and that you didn’t mean to omit any sins, that is considered valid.

I have confessed sins I committed for many years, not even realizing they were sins. And I told the priest it had been years and many, many times all through those years. Too many times to keep track of. But now those sins have been cast away from me and if I can accept the grace of absolution, I am clean, as though I had never committed the sins at all.

Sometimes my mind returns to what I did, and then I have to pry it loose from the ruminations and focus on NOW, today…what I am doing differently. How those sins got me here in the first place, as horrific as they are to me. I needed to have a history to repent from, I guess…anyway, I digress.

I urge you to go to confession frequently, not just once, and if something is bothering you, then confess it as specifically as you can, and include that you have received communion in the meantime. I don’t think that’s really a sin, because you were absolved, but it will ease your mind.

 

[jegow]

This problem occurred to me today and hasn’t been out of my mind since.

If someone commits a mortal sin, they’re required to confess how many times they’ve committed it. But what if one can’t remember how many times?

Truth is, I committed some mortal sins some time ago (don’t judge me! It’s rude and sinful! ) and confessed it. I didn’t know how many times I committed it, so I said this:

“Sometimes, when I am [insert activity here] I fall into [insert grave sin here].”

Or something like that. This week or so, it occurred to me that I could’ve used “numerously.”

Did this invalidate my confession, essentially still leaving me without God’s grace? Which would mean that I’ve also been living my religious life as a lie this whole time and shouldn’t be receiving communion?

It was hard enough confessing one time. I really don’t want to confess a second time. All because I used the word “sometimes” because I completely forgot (I can’t remember if i knew or not, but I think I didn’t) that I could have used “numerously”

It did not invalidate it. A confession is invalid only when you (the penitent) purposefully are not honest about the frequency of that particular mortal sin. If the you are not sure of the number or lost count then you would be required to give your best estimate of how many. So like ‘more than a dozen’ or ‘various times points throughout the week’ or ‘so many I can’t remember.’ Providing an estimated number, while not exact, gives the priest an idea if he is dealing with a person who committed a mortal sin once or twice or someone who has formed a habit, which in that case (without starting a new topic) can lessen the culpability of the person.

Don’t accuse yourself of not living your faith adequately because you think you could have confessed better. Your desire to make sure you have made a good confession is a sign that you are growing in your faith and that grace really means something to you. So … follow that desire to make those better confessions and go to confession. If some of those sins are still on your heart, then in your confession say, 'and in a general way, for all the times I have committed ‘—’.

Hope that helps.

 

[odile53]

As long as you were honest with yourself when you made your examination of conscience, and honest when you made your confession, you are forgiven whatever you really didn’t remember or if you underestimated the number of times you committed this particular mortal sin. If you do at a later time recall, you can always include it in your next confession, and probably should. But be careful in underestimating God’s mercy, it’s just as bad not to trust in His mercy as it is to presume upon His mercy.

 

[EmeraldWings]

This problem occurred to me today and hasn’t been out of my mind since.

If someone commits a mortal sin, they’re required to confess how many times they’ve committed it. But what if one can’t remember how many times?

Truth is, I committed some mortal sins some time ago (don’t judge me! It’s rude and sinful! ) and confessed it. I didn’t know how many times I committed it, so I said this:

“Sometimes, when I am [insert activity here] I fall into [insert grave sin here].”

Or something like that. This week or so, it occurred to me that I could’ve used “numerously.”

Did this invalidate my confession, essentially still leaving me without God’s grace? Which would mean that I’ve also been living my religious life as a lie this whole time and shouldn’t be receiving communion?

It was hard enough confessing one time. I really don’t want to confess a second time. All because I used the word “sometimes” because I completely forgot (I can’t remember if i knew or not, but I think I didn’t) that I could have used “numerously”

because you are not sure about it, it’s okay that you have been receiving communion, but the official church teaching on the matter is this - you must either confess the number of mortal sins, or give a number as near as you can figure it, even if you’re not sure, without either exaggerating it, or playing it down,
and yes you must confess it again, but do not be so anxious about it, just tell the priest that you did not mention the number of times you commit the moral sin in your last confession, and tell him the number as near as you can figure it, it doesn’t have to be spot on, but just so you give the priest a good idea of how much you struggle with it.
and don’t worry because the priest hears these things every day, and chances are he doesn’t even know who he’s talking to in the confessional, unless it’s face to face…but even then, don’t let your pride get in the way of saving your soul, it is our pride that makes us want to appear better than we really are, and the fact of the matter is, if you want to be a better person and overcome your sins, you must use confession, it will give you the necessary graces you need to overcome your sins and grow in virtue, and without it you will have a much harder time accomplishing that, so take advantage of it, it’s there for you as a gift from God, and it’s really easy, especially when you consider all the ways God could have made it, such as walking over hot coals, or climbing a tall mountain, or traveling 1000 miles on foot, all of which would still not make us worthy of forgiveness! how easy we have it in confession, and what a great gift it is, we are not worthy of forgiveness, but there it is just waiting for us!
and what the other poster said is true, the more you go, the easier it gets, and although it’s hard going when you don’t like the priest seeing you as you are, believe it or not, it would be much easier if you let the priest really get to know you and all of your sins and weaknesses, because then you have no fear of Him changing his opinion of you, we only fear the priest to know us as we are because we want him to think highly of us, but the truth of it is, your priest will be much more impressed with you for being open and honest with him.

well, just don’t worry, do what is best for your soul, that’s what confession is for, and that is what the priest is there for, he did not become a priest to be your friend, but to be a father and a physician of your soul.

ok, hope this helps, take care.

 

[wworld]

I go to confession kinda semi-often (2-3 months). But is it a requirement for me to confess this again? Some say it’s a suggestion, others think the confession was fine, and one thinks it’s required to go back to confession. It’s so far behind me now that I’m even more clueless!

I thought the Church’s teaching was that if you purposely messed up, left a grave sin out, etc. it’s invalid? And I thought that if you honestly forget to confess a mortal sin then it’s okay as long as you confess it next time.

But I DID confess to the best of my ability at the time.

 

[Ashton_Gaskill]

If you go to Reconciliation that often (I would call that often), then just ask the priest the next time you go. “Well, before I get into the more recent stuff Father, one time when I confessed to _____ I don’t know that I was specific enough. Should I confess to ______ again?” Then, instead of getting a bunch of internet contradictions, you can get a straight forward answer from a priest. And if the answer you get isn’t straight forward enough, ask him to clarify.

I especially think you should do this if it’s bothering you. Generally, when something is bothering us it’s because something is wrong. Go talk to the priest about it.

 

[jegow]

I go to confession kinda semi-often (2-3 months). But is it a requirement for me to confess this again? Some say it’s a suggestion, others think the confession was fine, and one thinks it’s required to go back to confession. It’s so far behind me now that I’m even more clueless!

I thought the Church’s teaching was that if you purposely messed up, left a grave sin out, etc. it’s invalid? And I thought that if you honestly forget to confess a mortal sin then it’s okay as long as you confess it next time.

But I DID confess to the best of my ability at the time.

It is not a requirement for you to confess again unless you purposefully messed up, as you say. If you honestly forget, then yes, you should say it next time. But since mortal sins are big things it would seem odd that a person would forget them, especially since that is one of the things keeping them from relationship with God. In other words, if you forget - you forget, but when you remember you should go back and confess that. Some people at the end of confession will conclude by saying “and for all the sins I’ve ever committed” which is nice because they are expressing their sorrow for any offense they may have committed.

Either way - valid confession requires that you confess all mortal sins and how often they happened and that you have sorrow for what you have done; that’s it.

 

[wworld]

Well, after sleeping and waking up, I felt much calmer and it wasn’t really as concern to me anymore… and I still don’t feel that concerned about it. I mean, I confessed it to the priest and felt good and clean and full of grace afterwards. So great that I had some tears of joy. That must mean I fully confessed, right?

And I say “kinda semi-often” because some people on this forum, from what I read, go to confession every week!

 

[wworld]

It is not a requirement for you to confess again unless you purposefully messed up, as you say. If you honestly forget, then yes, you should say it next time. But since mortal sins are big things it would seem odd that a person would forget them, especially since that is one of the things keeping them from relationship with God. In other words, if you forget - you forget, but when you remember you should go back and confess that. Some people at the end of confession will conclude by saying “and for all the sins I’ve ever committed” which is nice because they are expressing their sorrow for any offense they may have committed.

Either way - valid confession requires that you confess all mortal sins and how often they happened and that you have sorrow for what you have done; that’s it.

I didn’t forget my mortal sin. I didn’t know (and still don’t) how many times I committed it. I tried toconfess what I think was the best I could think of at the time (at least, I’m pretty sure that what I thought).

 

[jegow]

I didn’t forget my mortal sin. I didn’t know (and still don’t) how many times I committed it. I tried toconfess what I think was the best I could think of at the time (at least, I’m pretty sure that what I thought).

And that’s all God asks - that we do our best. Sounds like that’s what you’re doing.

 

[JaredM]

The one thing I never understood about Roman Catholicism. Why do people have to confess their sins to a priest instead of God?

 

[EmeraldWings]

The one thing I never understood about Roman Catholicism. Why do people have to confess their sins to a priest instead of God?

because it is a sacrament for one, and a sacrament requires 3 things, that it be a sensible sign, instituted by Jesus Christ, by which invisible grace and inward sanctification are communicated to the soul,
and there are many reasons God wanted it that way, for one, because words are cheap, just saying “i’m sorry” doesn’t really cut the mustard, and ask yourself, why do you need to confess your sins to God? God knows your sins, you have no reason to tell them to Him,
but we tell them to the priest so that He can make a judgment as to whether or not we can receive absolution, and also to give us advice and penance,
now, when we are truly sorry for our sins, God does forgive them, but that doesn’t mean we receive sanctifying grace back, and if we are truly sorry, then it would never be a question of “why can’t i just confess to God?” the question in a humble soul would be “What can i do to make you forgive me?”…someone who wants forgiveness their way is not truly sorry, but someone who truly loves God and wants to be reconciled with Him again, would do anything to obtain forgiveness…and God has made it easy for us, He has told us how we may be forgiven and receive back our sanctifying grace…and is it to much to ask? walking over burning coal would not be to much to ask, and this isn’t either.

but what confession is, is a means to *show *God you are sorry, it is an act of humility,
and just as we received sanctifying grace first by a sacrament - the sacrament of baptism, so then we also must receive it again by a sacrament, the sacrament of penance,
and of course in the bible we read such things as *“Receive ye the Holy Ghost, whose sins ye shall forgive, they are forgiven and whose sins ye shall retain, they are retained.” *and also “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all iniquity.”
and doesn’t God have the power to do these things? to give power to His priests to remit sins?
It is no doubt bitter and distasteful for someones to reveal their numerous sins to the priest, in their case it is good to think of the maxim, “If you were not ashamed to commit sin, you ought not to be ashamed to confess it.”

In the Book of Proverbs it says, " He that hideth his sins shall not prosper, but he that shall confess, and forsake them, shall obtain mercy"
keeping in mind, as i said, God has no need to hear our sins, He knows them, it is useless to confess them to Him alone, and not to mention, we cannot be sure we are forgiven then, we need someone to analyze and judge us in person, to speak to us and instruct us, but the priest is not just a judge in confession, he is also a physician and teacher for our souls, and the only way he can render us assistance is for us to reveal to him our sins and weaknesses,

and then there are many spiritual benefits to be received from the sacrament of penance, special graces and blessing you can get no where else, to help you overcome your sins and strengthen you in your virtues, and to deepen your love for God, and grow in sanctifying grace,
not to mention the emotional ease it gives, to reveal your sins and struggles in confidence to another gives great consolation and frees you from alot of built up stress and feelings of guilt, and who would know better about that than God Himself Who created us?

to sum it up, these are the 4 effects of the sacrament of penance - 1. It remits the sins committed after Baptism. 2. It remits the eternal, and at least a part of the temporal, punishment due to our sins. 3. It restores, or increases, sanctifying grace, and 4. It also confers other particular graces to enable us to lead a holy life.

there are so many benefits to be received from confession, but what benefits do you think you get from “just confessing to God”?
remember that when Jesus died for us, He did not just give Himself alittle, or even alot, but He gave all! every last drop of blood for us,
and that is what He does with everything He gives us, when he gives us blessings He gives in abundance, and when He instituted the sacraments, He made them complete and perfect, not wanting in anything,
God does not hold back, He gives above and beyond, and in the case of confession, He has left no questions, we can trust that when the priest absolves us that we are forgiven and again in grace with God, but outside confession, how can you be sure? God has never told us that all we need to do is confess to Him, so where does such an idea come from? where is it’s foundation, and where is your faith placed?

well, there is much more i could say, but i think that is enough for now, so i hope this helps, take care.

 

[Bookcat]

I go to confession kinda semi-often (2-3 months). But is it a requirement for me to confess this again? Some say it’s a suggestion, others think the confession was fine, and one thinks it’s required to go back to confession. It’s so far behind me now that I’m even more clueless!

I thought the Church’s teaching was that if you purposely messed up, left a grave sin out, etc. it’s invalid? And I thought that if you honestly forget to confess a mortal sin then it’s okay as long as you confess it next time.

But I DID confess to the best of my ability at the time.

If one forgets a mortal sin…or honestly minimizes the number (like one confessed 3 murders but now one remembers it was 8)…one is to confess it in the next confession…(one should not scruple here though…one is not expected to be mr. spock and remember always exact numbers of large periods of time…35.326 Captain!..)

They need not run back to confession. For if they are sorry etc and just forgot…well such was absolved indirectly (hiding mortal sin is a very different matter)…then the next confession one is to confesses that forgotten thing (if it will be a while one may want to carefully note it to them self in code…but in a way that someone will not find or figure out!).

(though one should note this: Can. 989 After having reached the age of discretion, each member of the faithful is ob-liged to confess faithfully his or her grave sins at least once a year.)

That being said…it is* Lent *now…so it is good to go perhaps more often and especially just before Holy Week or before Easter…

As to the number …one does what one can…one is obliged to give the number and kind for mortal sin (and circumstance that changes the sin…like it was your brother you murdered) …but sometimes one can not remember and one needs to give an approximation…around 2-5 times a month for the last 20 or so years but not really sure…around 10 or so times…or even one may not be able to do that and has to say many times or things like that. But if you say honestly…for example a few times and then realize later that week …cause for some reason it pops in your head…that it was really more than “a few times” in the last year…then when one goes to confession next…one will then say that you underestimated it and that it was …“many times” in the last year …(I am just using such as an example…of course we should examine ourselves and give the number if we can…but sometimes one can not…)

Only reasonable efforts are required to determine number of course!

(but again one should not scruple either…especially those who are scrupulous per se…they should speak with their confessor…)

 

[wworld]

But I STILL DON’T KNOW the number of times I committed it. The best I could say at the time is when I fall into it -but not an exact number. I still can’t think of a number. Do I have to go back and re-confess this just because I should replace when I most often fall into the sin (“sometimes when I am __________ I commit _______”) with the term “numerously” ? I thought this would be fine at the time ( I forgot about “numerously” at the time -I think).

And if I have to confess again, I can still receive Communion though, right?

 

[TheRealJuliane]

But I STILL DON’T KNOW the number of times I committed it. The best I could say at the time is when I fall into it -but not an exact number. I still can’t think of a number. Do I have to go back and re-confess this just because I should replace when I most often fall into the sin (“sometimes when I am __________ I commit _______”) with the term “numerously” ? I thought this would be fine at the time ( I forgot about “numerously” at the time -I think).

And if I have to confess again, I can still receive Communion though, right?

No, honestly, I think since you are over-working this (it sounds to me) you might get into scrupulosity if you go much further. God knows exactly how many times but now he has forgiven you that sin so why revisit it?

If you do it again, then you’d have to confess it right away. That’s the thing about the backlog sort of confession - it’s full of those estimates. But if you sin again, and go to confession soon afterward, you can then say, “And I did x sin twice last week.”

It sounds as though you honestly tried to do as deep a confession as you could. It’s enough! I mean, it’s not as if you won’t ever have another opportunity to confess…

 

[Bookcat]

But I STILL DON’T KNOW the number of times I committed it. The best I could say at the time is when I fall into it -but not an exact number. I still can’t think of a number. Do I have to go back and re-confess this just because I should replace when I most often fall into the sin (“sometimes when I am __________ I commit _______”) with the term “numerously” ? I thought this would be fine at the time ( I forgot about “numerously” at the time -I think).

And if I have to confess again, I can still receive Communion though, right?

If one does not know the number of times…one approximates as one is able.

Sometimes it may be even be “alot” or “many times” if that is all one can do

It would seem that “sometimes” would give the impression of an occasional thing…and the way it was said does not seem to give much on “frequency” …it seems to be not so much a number…it does not say how many it just says that you do it…where as “numerously”…is more in the many times (a frequency) …as opposed to just a few times…

Like “I have murdered…I do not know how many really…many many people…”

I have had thoughts…many times over the last month…so many I cannot say more.

I have missed Sunday Mass and Holy Day Mass for the last 20 years or so.

I have hated and wanted to do serious harm to a many people in my life…so many that I could never count them…

Just making things up …but I think it should help somewhat…

of course if you can:

I murdered 6 persons on one occasion

I committed adultery 3 times

I missed Mass 1 time

It all depends on what you remember…etc

You do not have to be Mr. Spock! 325.25 times Captain!

As to Holy Communion…one need not on account of such go to confession sooner…so as to go to communion. Even completely forgotten mortal sins…are absolved indirectly with the rest…for one was trying to make a confession of all of the mortal sins with contrition etc (thus one has a formally integral confession…though it is not materially so). So one could go to communion after such a confession…and confess the forgotten mortal sin etc in the next confession…

 

[wworld]

I’m going to have make an educated guess here then. I’m guessing about — in maybe — months. Is that occasional or numerous? These are the numbers that popped into my head right now. I could be way off… But… I don’t know.

I don’t know about these numbers at all. But it makes me feel like it was something occasional… which would make me think it’s fine. Or should I confess these unsure numbers?

 

[Bookcat]

You do what you can…do not stress over much about it…

You do not have to give a time period as in some of my examples.

If the sin Y was around 8 times total…you can say that. “I did Y around 8 times…maybe less…it is an educated guess”

And there it is.

Or if one can not do that…one could guess more widely…if need be…“I did Y around 10-15 times…maybe more…it is guess”

Or “It was many times…prob. more than 50…”

The time period thing is good say when some one was away for a while and has a long period of time to look at…

Do not scruple about it…examine of course…but reasonably.

(but know too that in certain things (like certain thoughts) one needs care in examining…for they can lead back into the sin…which may be another reason one may not have a exact a number…for if one tried too strict a count…it may increase the count…)

 

[Bookcat]

I’m going to have make an educated guess here then. I’m guessing about — in maybe — months. Is that occasional or numerous? These are the numbers that popped into my head right now. I could be way off… But… I don’t know.

I don’t know about these numbers at all. But it makes me feel like it was something occasional… which would make me think it’s fine. Or should I confess these unsure numbers?

The point is to say “I accuse myself of Y” and then you give the number…and if you do not know the number after your examine…one gives the approximation that fits…basically one wants to give a near as is reasonable.

If I know that I did some mortal sin around 8 times. I should say so. If know it was at least 5 times but may have been a few more…I say so…if I only know it was several times…that is what I say…or if I only know it was many times I say that…etc

But for me to say “occasionally I murder people when I do get angry” …does not give a number…how many times I did it… in my estimation.

Though perhaps I could say “I do not know how often …but I know that over the past few years I occasionally did Y”