Confession Confusion: Who Should Confess With?

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jay.pherole37

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I have a spiritual director to guide me to assist me in my path of discerning. However, I’m afraid he is woefully busy and I already had confession with last Thursday and I committed sins both venial and mortal. I’m considering contacting another priest I know well to have an appointed confession. Do you think that is okay and state your opinion below?
 
It depends. If part of your spiritual direction relationship includes an agreement to confess with him exclusively (I had such an agreement with a previous spiritual director), then in my opinion you should honor it. If not, then you are free to choose any other priest to hear your confessions.
 
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I have always used different priests for Penance and spiritual direction.

Spiritual direction is something that not all priests are skilled in. Some directors aren’t priests at all.

Monasteries are good places to find both spiritual directors and skilled confessors.
 
Mu spiritual director is not a priest but she strongly suggests a regular confessor as part of my program. If I had a mortal sin I needed to confess right away, I would go to any priest available to confess that sin, but for regular confession, I would stick with my confessor.

Contact your SD to confess. If he isn’t available, follow his suggestions.
 
I like the idea of having a regular confessor, whether that’s your spiritual director or someone else. In my case, I go to my spiritual director. He knows me so well that it adds a dimension to confession that wouldn’t be there with a stranger.
 
If he is not available, you should try to contact him via email or phone and ask how to handle his (lack of) availability.

Simply put, if he isn’t available regularly for you to confess ask him outright if it would be acceptable to confess with another priest or if it is a requirement to confess to him (if so, ask for clarification if it for every confession or at set points).

We need to confess our sins. If you have mortally sinned, and you can confess in 2 hours, it would be weird to wait for three weeks. Not to be dramatic, but what if you pass away? You did have the opportunity to confess.

Also, you need to talk to him about his availability in general if you feel like your discernment isn’t being prioritised. Priests are people, and if he has too much on his plate and is not able to meet your needs then he may be able to refer you to someone who does have the time for you.
 
St Teresa of Avila advised against having a rule of exclusive confession to one particular priest to teh exclusion of all others.
 
Nevertheless, that is the arrangement we had—stipulated by the priest, not by me.
 
UpUpAndAway said:
Nevertheless, that is the arrangement we had—stipulated by the priest, not by me.
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Were they available regularly to confess to? That is the key point.

I, for instance, always confess at a different Church than my parish. Why? They have more confession times that suit me, and it isn’t face-to-face.
 
Under normal circumstances, he was. I once requested confession outside my usual interval at the time, and we arranged to meet within hours. I imagine that he would not have insisted upon this exclusivity if he had not been in a position to adhere to it. Eventually he saw no need for it and I returned to my previous practice of confessing as needed with any priest. That period of confessing only to him was beneficial for me in my spiritual state at the time, however, which is why he wanted it in the first place.
 
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Wonderful!

You’ve confirmed the key point: he was flexible and available if you needed to confess outside the regular confession schedule. 🌷

If @jay.pherole37 is not offered similar flexibility and availability, it would be slightly worrisome.
 
Yes, but we also don’t know that the OP’s relationship with his spiritual director includes this arrangement. He said his SD is “woefully busy,” not that his SD doesn’t want him confessing to any other priest. That’s why, in my first response, I said if. 🙂
 
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