confession confusion

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Shae

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My son is 16, and went along to his first confession at 15. He chose to openly discuss how this was for him, this confession took the manner of a friendly conversation with the priest. He went on to tell my son that is was quite ok to masterbate, as long as this didnt take my son away from other activiities, and wasnt spending unhealthy long periods doing this.
I was aware that this is not ok, at all. But how is an adolescent boy, with rampant, very strong hormones, and very powerful sexual emotions supposed to suppress this till he is married?
In my honest opinion, would masterbation be that bad, if done only when necessary, to relieve the pressure, so that he can cope with other bigger sexual hurdles?
I am so utterly confused with my religion. I hear so many conflicting things, almost daily. I just wish I knew exactly what God wants. I just have to go with my peers and elders but this is where so many of the conflictions lie. I read things here, I listen to the priest at mass and I listen to insight for living- good news radio, and of course I try to understand scripture and that aint easy either. I have a good news bible, and I have a difficult time trying to understand the underlying content for our modern times.

I just dont want to be lead astray, I know people mean well. I just want a clear line on what God wants.

shae
 
Shea,
Masturbation is never alright. It is a grave sin. Sadly some priests believe that it is sometime alright to masturbate but that’s just not the case and they end up misleading their congregations. As far masturbating to “relieve the pressure”, the male body does that already naturally with nocturnal emissions. Please see the following link which explains why masturbation is wrong. The whole website is good and it is Catholic so feel free to browse.

pureloveclub.com/chastity/index.php?id=7&entryid=49

God Bless,
Matt
 
First off if you are at this website you are looking in the righ place.

Secondly the priest was dead wrong about masturbation. If you can I would find another parish. (if that is possible). Moral teaching doesn’t conform itself to the modern world it must be the other way. The modern world must conform to catholic moral teaching. (which by all indications it aint gonna happen) So remind yourself that your a a pilgrim here on earth and the Catholic Church is you ship. You need to do some reading. Catholic answers is a good place to start.

Oh and some good old prayer never hurts either.
 
And the Catechism! When in doubt, start there. This Forum is a great resource too.

I think that what I’d try to get across to someone that age is that Catholicism is a call to heroism. It takes a person out of the “don’t worry, we all have problems and we’re all basically helpless” mindset. I came back to the Church when I realized that Christ offered the only message that called on me to not to be like everyone else. Not to just give in because I was (we all are) biologically and emotionally helpless and to never assume that anyone else is or was meant to be either. It’s also the only way of approaching life that will never eventually bore you to tears!

I think that the message of personal dignity and courage could (and does) have a great effect on kids that age. Tell him to never settle for the mediocre which is the group-think message the world trys to pound into us all.
 
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Shae:
My son is 16, and went along to his first confession at 15. He chose to openly discuss how this was for him, this confession took the manner of a friendly conversation with the priest. He went on to tell my son that is was quite ok to masterbate, as long as this didnt take my son away from other activiities, and wasnt spending unhealthy long periods doing this.
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This sounds like he was justifing his own habits. I would find another parish. I know priests are not perfect but, the confessional should not be a place for saying it is okay.
 
The CCC is definitely the place to go for your answer:
I think a lot of people would be surprised to see that masterbation is referred to in the same way as homosexuality:
2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that “homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.” They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.
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2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action." “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability.
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Shae:
My son is 16, and went along to his first confession at 15. He chose to openly discuss how this was for him, this confession took the manner of a friendly conversation with the priest. He went on to tell my son that is was quite ok to masterbate, as long as this didnt take my son away from other activiities, and wasnt spending unhealthy long periods doing this.
I was aware that this is not ok, at all. But how is an adolescent boy, with rampant, very strong hormones, and very powerful sexual emotions supposed to suppress this till he is married?
In my honest opinion, would masterbation be that bad, if done only when necessary, to relieve the pressure, so that he can cope with other bigger sexual hurdles?
I am so utterly confused with my religion. I hear so many conflicting things, almost daily. I just wish I knew exactly what God wants. I just have to go with my peers and elders but this is where so many of the conflictions lie. I read things here, I listen to the priest at mass and I listen to insight for living- good news radio, and of course I try to understand scripture and that aint easy either. I have a good news bible, and I have a difficult time trying to understand the underlying content for our modern times.

I just dont want to be lead astray, I know people mean well. I just want a clear line on what God wants.

shae
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Masterbation, pornography, fornication and other sexual sins only feed lust. They do not “relieve the pressure.” Every act brings the person further away from God and His grace and more likely to sin in this way again.

Living chastely is not about suppressing sexual feelings until one’s wedding day. It’s about everyone correctly ordering their sexuality based on their situation in life and what God calls them to. Even married couples live chastely. They don’t get a “free pass” on the day of their wedding for all sexual activity any time they want.

Learning the discipline necessary to live chastely will only help your son to continue to live chastely for the rest of his life, no matter what God is calling him to. Is it challenging and difficult at his age in this culture? ABSOLUTELY! But that doesn’t mean we should give up and go with the mainstream.

God bless you.
 
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Shae:
But how is an adolescent boy, with rampant, very strong hormones, and very powerful sexual emotions supposed to suppress this till he is married?
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By developing a solid Cathoilc conscience. Frequenting the Sacraments including monthly Confession if necessary for the Sacramental grace received to avoid acting on temptation. By clearly being taught the teachings of the Church on the gift of human sexuality and Marriage and not developing a habit that is contrary to the moral teaching of the Church.
 
Br. Rich SFO:
By developing a solid Cathoilc conscience. Frequenting the Sacraments including monthly Confession if necessary for the Sacramental grace received to avoid acting on temptation. By clearly being taught the teachings of the Church on the gift of human sexuality and Marriage and not developing a habit that is contrary to the moral teaching of the Church.
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Awesome answer!
 
There seems to be quite a lot about this issue in the “moral theology” sub-forum…
 
As the thread appears at this point to be dealing with the moral aspects of the subject rather than the sacramental confession a simple search will offer a variety of threads on the subject within the forum boards. This thread is threrefore closed and thanks to all who participated.
 
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