Confession: Cut and dry or counseling?

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Vittorio23

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I guess this is a couple of questions all in one, so bear with me here.

My first question is, when you are confessing a sin, how much “info” do you give? Do you just say “I did this…” or do you add “I did this because…” or do you say “Such and such happened and I responded by doing this…”? How much depth do you go into?

Second question (and this more of a general opinion question), do you think that confession ought to be pretty much ‘cut and dry’ or should there be counseling added within it? Or somewhere inbetween.

I only ask because I have a situation that is causing a lot of my sins, so I would like to figure how to fix this situation spiritually, but I also don’t want to be inappropriate in the confessional by giving the priest an earful of situation mixed with sin.
 
Get a spiritual director who is a priest and your confessor. You can make an appt, and they can help you sort out the causes and reasons and things that cause sins. You can get more guidence and more appropriate penances.
 
For me it depends on the priest. I confess my sins to Jesus through him. There are some priests who aren’t inclined to give counsel - or I’m less inclined to trust in the counsel of certain priests. I’ve actually confessed to very few priests who are willing to discuss much or give any counsel in the confessional, during the prescribed confession hour (or half hour).
 
Depends on how long the line is. If it’s going to take awhile it might be best to make an appointment. Most sins, no matter how venial or how egregious, can be confessed in a word or two, with no ambiguity. But if you need more time, ask for an appointment (unless you’re in a parish where nobody shows up for confession except you.)
 
Different events in our lives do have an effect on our actions. Bringing these into the confessional can help clarify the effect they are having on our lives; especially if they are an occasion for sin. The question remains, how do I respond to the various circumstances in my life without sinning? Since that is our goal, bringing these causes of temptation into the confession can be helpful in leading a holier life.
A priest is also trained to recognize when additional professional help may be needed and may lead a penitent toward that help.
 
Depends. I know if I have something embarrassing, just getting myself in the confessional is hard enough so I stay behind the screen and confess the bare details of the sin. If I have an issue that is causing me to sin that is somewhat less embarrassing and on which I could use a bit more spiritual support, I’ll go to confession at my own parish and go face to face with one of our priests. They’ve both been so helpful.
 
I just lay it out no excuses as to why or what might have been the reason. I never seem to get counseled but I wish that i did.
 
I am of the opinion that priests do not have time for counseling. There is so much information and help out there on the internet, written in books, even from a Catholic perspective. I’ve gotten into the habit of just listing my sins, and doing alot of spiritual reading and praying.

Also, the saints are wonderful examples of how to live the faith. Many of them struggled with sin. Their intercession and their documented examples are very helpful.
 
Depends upon whether or not I go to my regular confessor, or another priest (like at a conference or retreat or something). It also depends upon the situation(s) I might be needing to confess.

I think that if you need a little more time than a regular confession, you should definitely make an appointment. That way others won’t be kept waiting, and possibly not getting to confession in the allotted time, AND you won’t feel rushed.
 
A spiritual director is in order for those wishing to analyze why they keep falling into the same old sins. Priests really don’t have time in the confessional to sort through the causes of a person’s sin.
However, you can make an appt. with your priest and then he would have time to sort through issues with you.
My priest doesn’t have time to go through a counseling session in the confessional because we always have a line waiting on Saturday afternoon for confession (thank goodness many people in our parish still make confession a priority!).
 
There are priests who routinely counsel and those who don’t, and some of them don’t switch sides, ever.

The priest I go to most often is one who counsels. You can tell this without even going to confession by the length of his line and the amount of time he takes with each person, going over into the beginning of the Mass if necessary (when he’s not the celebrant). I never have to ask him anything - he takes the initiative every time, commenting on each thing I have said and giving helpful advice.

Once, I went to a different priest in a different church. I had a question about one of my sins, so I finished up by saying that I had a hard time judging the seriousness of the sin, hoping that he would help me with it. He blew right by that and gave me my penance and absolution. DH has had the same experience with him. His line always moves quickly.

Neither of these priests is apt to change any time soon.

Then there are the middle of the road priests - the ones who say God bless you for your humble confession. Now take courage and keep trying to do better, and for your penance… I imagine these guys would help you if you asked.

So, OP, what should you do? Give some thought to the root cause of your sins as it relates to the “situation.” If that means a sentence or two about the situation (without confessing anyone else’s sins!), go for it. A lot can be accomplished in a very short time if you really get to the heart of the matter yourself before you speak. If it’s deep and complicated, or you are unable to get to the heart of the matter without guidance, think about making an appointment.

Betsy
 
Once I began going to the same priest for confession he began to offer some counsel. He now recognizes my voice and he knows me and my situation.

Sometimes he talks a lot and at other times he doesn’t have a lot to say. It depends on what I have confessed.

As to how much detail I include I usually just say what I did and how many times I did it. If there are mitigating or aggravating circumstances I will include those.

My confessor takes his time with everyone and there is almost always a very long line of people waiting to confess wth him.
 
Generally, you don’t want to get into detail specifics on your sins where you could be providing impure thoughts for your confessor to now have to deal with, especially when it comes to sins of the flesh.

Good confessors will give you basic spiritual direction and counseling. He’ll give you some advice on how to avoid temptations and resist sin.

If deeper spiritual direction is needed, he might ask you to get a spiritual director, if he is not able to do it. However, most people only need the basic level of direction a confessor gives.

Its why a good confessor is a treasure! Once you find one, hang on to him for dear life.

Jim
 
over the years I generally have not received extended counselling in confession unless I have specifically asked for help with certain area. even then it is usually brief, unless the priest is also my spiritual director, or it is a retreat setting .
 
If you don’t want a regular spiritual director, just extra time to figure things out, make an appt so you can talk and not worry about the time. —KCT
 
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