Confession Difficulties

[PraiseChrist]

Hello everyone,
I’m in need of some help. I am conscious of mortal sin(s) and I want to get to confession. My parents won’t allow me to go weekly, they allow monthly confessions. However, I feel that weekly is something I could use right now.
Also, I also need some help in making a valid confession. How do I feel sorrow for my sins? I don’t want to I to hell; in the act of contrition, it states
“O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who art all-good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen”
What if I most of all I don’t want to go to hell? Should I just use the other act of contrition?
Also, when I confess, what if I don’t know the approximate number? Finally, this is off topic, but does age affect the severity of sins?
Thanks a lot, Merry Christmas, and God bless

 

[Bookcat]

Hello everyone,
I’m in need of some help. I am conscious of mortal sin(s) and I want to get to confession. My parents won’t allow me to go weekly, they allow monthly confessions. However, I feel that weekly is something I could use right now.
Also, I also need some help in making a valid confession. How do I feel sorrow for my sins? I don’t want to I to hell; in the act of contrition, it states
“O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who art all-good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen”
What if I most of all I don’t want to go to hell? Should I just use the other act of contrition?
Also, when I confess, what if I don’t know the approximate number? Finally, this is off topic, but does age affect the severity of sins?
Thanks a lot, Merry Christmas, and God bless

Wanting most of all not not go to hell makes for a quite valid confession.

Do not let those particular words of the act of contrition worry you. One may use a different form that does not confuse you or worry you. One may use ones own words - or even such as “Jesus I love you and am sorry for my sins and will follow you as a Christian”

One repents of all mortal sins of course and intends not commit them and to avoid the near occasion of such -but even it is less out love at the moment and more out of fear of hell - in confession that is fine (as the Catechism points out). Such is imperfect contrition. Seek of course to love God more and more but do not take such as non contrition.

And* remember - it is NOT about feelings so much - they are not* necessary for contrition - but more about grace and ones will.

As to number - one does what is reasonable and if one does not know how many (for mortal sins) one can approximate according to what one does know - such as around 4-5 times or around 10 or even if need be many times etc.

I would talk perhaps again with your parents and perhaps with ones Priest even regarding the desire for more frequent confession. The Priest can also guide you regarding age and sin.

In Jesus is true life and he knows you and loves you! Keep your focus on this and that he is the Good Shepherd.

 

[Stephen_says]

Have you tried discussing with your parents that you would really like to go weekly sometimes? Maybe they just don’t understand what’s going on.

Fear of hell is a good enough reason for confession. Your confession will still be valid, so long as you FIRMLY RESOLVE TO SIN NO MORE. If you go because you think you’ll be safe for another week, and plan on committing the sin next Friday and then confess on Saturday, that is not good enough, and the sacrament will not be valid.

Maybe if you use the traditional Act of Contrition, you will eventually learn to be truly sorry because of your love for God, and not just out of fear, but, if you think the alternate version of the Act of Contrition fits your situation better, I don’t see a problem with it.

If you don’t even know the approximate number, you can guess, or just tell the priest so.

Does age affect the severity of sin? Only if you are too young to not know if a sin is a sin. If you know the sin is a sin, mere age would not be a factor.

Peace

 

[Bookcat]

Your confession will still be valid, so long as you FIRMLY RESOLVE TO SIN NO MORE. If you go because you think you’ll be safe for another week, and plan on committing the sin next Friday and then confess on Saturday, that is not good enough, and the sacrament will not be valid.

Yes if one intends to commit a mortal sin - then yes that is a problem.

It is important to note that such is not the same as “fearing one will fall again” etc.

And such is not the case with venial sins - for we cannot “sin no more” in terms of all venial sin (outside of special grace like Our Lady had -which in her case kept her from ever sinning). And the repentance of venial sin is different that mortal.

As to various factors personally entering into question of personal culpability of sin - the Priest can guide them best in the confessional - he can assess any particular factors.

 

[Bookcat]

Does age affect the severity of sin? Only if you are too young to not know if a sin is a sin. If you know the sin is a sin, mere age would not be a factor.

The OP can speak with their Priest regarding such for age could play into things. But such is best handled in the confessional discussion.

 

[Justafyed]

Hi. All good answers youve been given. My last confession my priest told me the best thing possible… God loves you. No matter the sin. He also said that the important of the act of contrition is… Help me to do penance and amend my life. Gods love through confession is the greatest act of love we have as catholics. Peace be with you this advent season.

 

[hazcompat]

CCC

1458 Without being strictly necessary, confession of everyday faults (venial sins) is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church.59 Indeed the regular confession of our venial sins helps us form our conscience, fight against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit. By receiving more frequently through this sacrament the gift of the Father’s mercy, we are spurred to be merciful as he is merciful:60

Whoever confesses his sins . . . is already working with God. God indicts your sins; if you also indict them, you are joined with God. Man and sinner are, so to speak, two realities: when you hear “man” - this is what God has made; when you hear “sinner” - this is what man himself has made. Destroy what you have made, so that God may save what he has made. . . . When you begin to abhor what you have made, it is then that your good works are beginning, since you are accusing yourself of your evil works. The beginning of good works is the confession of evil works. You do the truth and come to the light.61

scborromeo.org/ccc/para/1458.htm

Peace

 

[Justafyed]

To piggyback on my last (name removed by moderator)ut. God does it all. Remeber we are bound to the church and sacraments. God has no such restrictions. He possesses discretion and reason beyond any fathomable limits.

 

[truetofaith]

I learned that same Act of Contrition…the words cover sorrow for sin because of fear of hell and also because you offended God. Confession to a priest only requires sorrow because of fear of punishment but as you say the Act…it’s easy to feel sorrow for having hurt God who loves us!
God Bless & Merry Christmas!

 

[cena]

Hello everyone,
I’m in need of some help. I am conscious of mortal sin(s) and I want to get to confession. My parents won’t allow me to go weekly, they allow monthly confessions. However, I feel that weekly is something I could use right now.
Also, I also need some help in making a valid confession. How do I feel sorrow for my sins? I don’t want to I to hell; in the act of contrition, it states
“O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who art all-good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen”
What if I most of all I don’t want to go to hell? Should I just use the other act of contrition?
Also, when I confess, what if I don’t know the approximate number? Finally, this is off topic, but does age affect the severity of sins?
Thanks a lot, Merry Christmas, and God bless

Contrition is an act of the will, not just a feeling. You have to choose to be repentant. I think I read somewhere that if you are worried about not being contrite, you probably are.

I had this same worry before too.Imperfect contrition(not wanting to go to hell) is good enough with the sacrament of reconciliation.

For the number of sins come up with an estimation that is the closest to what you think the actual number was.

The state of life could make some sins more serious, but I don’t think age does.

 

[PraiseChrist]

Thanks a lot everyone, these were all helpful, assuring, and caring responses, God bless you!