Confession & Fear for Marriage

[WannabeCatholic]

I have been on a long journey to Catholicism. Within the year I should be confirmed. But I’m worried about the sacrament of confession.

I have committed adultery several times and have viewed pornography. Lust has been a problem with me.

I know I need to confess all these things, but will the priest demand that I tell my wife?

I know for a fact that my ardently non-catholic and jealous wife would divorce me if I ever told her of my adulteries. I am deeply sorry for these sins and want to confess them and be forgiven in the sacrament, but she would never understand.

Again, do you think I might be forced to tell her before I can be forgiven and receive the Eucharist?

Thank you.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

A confessor would probably not have you tell your wife if he felt that nothing good would be the result of it. He would not be inclined to have you do anything that would bring harm to your family relationship. He may ask some really important questions and it is important that you answer them honestly.

 

[newsjag]

Since you have come so far, you should not be afraid of what will happen at the coffesion. If the priest asks you to tell your wife, you must realize that this is not what the priest wants, but what God wants. God works through the priest to show us what he wants.

My prayers are with you, but you must realize that in order to be forgiven, you must be completely open and honest and remorseful. I dont know what more I can say, but PLEASE pray about this and God will answer your prayers. And if He wants you to tell your wife, then that is what you need to do.
Peace be with you!

 

[JimG]

It seems nearly certain to me that a priest would not ask you to tell these sins to your wife.

JimG

 

[Dr.Colossus]

Though I have not been in your situation, I have confessed a number of sins that would be considered “against my neighbor”. Never in any case have I been required to tell them what I’ve done. Also, if the priest does suggest this, simply explain to him your concerns. He will do his best to guide you, and will not wish you to do anything that would destroy your relationship.

 

[space_ghost]

WannabeCatholic:

I have been on a long journey to Catholicism. Within the year I should be confirmed. But I’m worried about the sacrament of confession.

I have committed adultery several times and have viewed pornography. Lust has been a problem with me.

I know I need to confess all these things, but will the priest demand that I tell my wife?

I know for a fact that my ardently non-catholic and jealous wife would divorce me if I ever told her of my adulteries. I am deeply sorry for these sins and want to confess them and be forgiven in the sacrament, but she would never understand.

Again, do you think I might be forced to tell her before I can be forgiven and receive the Eucharist?

Thank you.

I would make one recommendation… don’t unburden your conscience to your spouse… she doesn’t deserve it… if your truly sorry God will forgive you… now all you have to do is make a firm committment to not do it again and let your penance be taking any remnance of guilt to your grave with you… i repeat, don’t share it with anyone outside the confessional… it’s not necessary to share the type and number of sins with the members of these forums either… i don’t know, maybe it helps you if you share it here, if so, great, but your spouse doesn’t deserve the hurt, spousal treason, or spending the rest of her life trying to decide what it was that she did wrong (even though she is guiltless of these sins) to maybe take ownership to some degree of your weakness… We and I include me especially here, have all failed to do the right things at times, and have fallen short of the expectations or ourselves and God. I am just telling you we all have enough bones in our closets and plenty of hurt that has been heaved on others… so carry that burden alone… give her a break… NOW the great news… don’t be afraid of the confessional… when you come out of there, you will bump your head on the door because you will be walking 9 feet from the ground… you will feel great… probably one of my favorite sacraments… Peace…