Confession for younger people

[Jean_Anthony]

I remind everyone that no negative personal remarks should be made within threads. Please discuss the topic, nothing else. Thank you all.

 

[dshix]

I agree with your premise and what you are trying to say. Your implementation of it came across as rather elitist and ridiculous. And does absolutely NOTHING to help a 13 year old boy who is scared to confess this sin.

Have you read the Youcat on the subject? I wonder what your thoughts are about that?

I have not read the Youcat on the subject.

I disagree with you that my words are objectively elitist, and I stated what I think precisely as intended. My view can come off as a bit “harsh” to other people, and in some respects they are, but I believe that firmness is necessary underlying our compassion in helping others. I believe that we should not make a sin seem “ordinary” just to make it easier to confess; if anything, it should be shown to be horrendous, so that the sinner is motivated to escape from it, while we simultaneously show great compassion and give help to escape from it.

You are free to disagree; note that I conscientiously used the words “I believe” and “I think”. If you want to continue this discussion, perhaps we should take it to private chat so as not to derail the thread.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I remind everyone that no negative personal remarks should be made within threads. Please discuss the topic, nothing else. Thank you all.

Thank you for the reminder.

 

[yorks_pudd]

Thank you for your help. It is greatly appreciated.

 

[Boy_Wonder]

I am a 13 year old boy and commited an awful sin which I am deeply ashamed of, masturbation. I really want to go to confession but I am so embarrassed and nervous because the priest knows me well. What should I do?

Thank you.

Sexual sins, especially the one you mentioned, are some of the most frequently confessed sins. The priest will not think less of you for confessing this. Simply state that you committed an act of impurity with yourself. If more than once then state the approximate number of times. If there were aggravating factors such as using pornography during the commission of this sin, etc.

This is a normal sin for a boy your age. You’re wise to regard it as such and not discount the gravity. But I also think that God understands the strength of sexual urges in teenage boys and judges them less harshly than an adult in the same circumstances. Keep trying to do the right thing. Trust God. Stay close to him. Never be afraid to confess.

 

[beckie_clark]

its as simple as telling the priest you have been impure with yourself

 

[JimG]

its as simple as telling the priest you have been impure with yourself

That’s true. Sins are simple to confess. But I think it’s better just to use the name of the sin. One word instead of three.

 

[SuperLuigi]

I am a 13 year old boy and commited an awful sin which I am deeply ashamed of, masturbation. I really want to go to confession but I am so embarrassed and nervous because the priest knows me well. What should I do?

Thank you.

Don’t be worried about being embarrassed. For one thing, a lot of men, even decent Catholic men, do this to some extent and it needs to be Confessed.

Listen, priests are familiar with these kinds of sins and probably realize at your age it happens.

 

[SuperLuigi]

its as simple as telling the priest you have been impure with yourself

The penitent needs to mention “masturbation”. Saying you’ve been “impure” is not sufficient and would probably invalidate the Confession.

 

[buc_fan33]

The penitent needs to mention “masturbation”. Saying you’ve been “impure” is not sufficient and would probably invalidate the Confession.

This is not true. Some people have a real stigma over saying that word. If a person says, “I’ve been impure with myself x number of times,” it’s certainly sufficient for the validity of the sacrament. Trust me, every single priest on the planet will know what the penitent means.

 

[dshix]

This is not true. Some people have a real stigma over saying that word. If a person says, “I’ve been impure with myself x number of times,” it’s certainly sufficient for the validity of the sacrament. Trust me, every single priest on the planet will know what the penitent means.

Will they, necessarily? Impurity could be masturbation, but also impure thoughts, or the viewing of pornography.

Specificity is a good thing. Just because someone feels a “stigma” about saying a word doesn’t mean they shouldn’t say it, and in fact, if they do say it, then they might be less likely to commit that sin again in consideration of the embarrassment of confessing it.

 

[Bill_Martin]

The penitent needs to mention “masturbation”. Saying you’ve been “impure” is not sufficient and would probably invalidate the Confession.

I’m not sure about it being invalid, but I agree. Call the sin what it is, confront it in all its embarrassing ugliness, kick it in the face, and move on. No need for euphemisms.

Part of growing up and transitioning to being an adult man is admitting your flaws and dealing with them. Dancing around the issue is not going to help the OP grow as much as taking charge of it.

 

[buc_fan33]

Will they, necessarily? Impurity could be masturbation, but also impure thoughts, or the viewing of pornography.

Specificity is a good thing. Just because someone feels a “stigma” about saying a word doesn’t mean they shouldn’t say it, and in fact, if they do say it, then they might be less likely to commit that sin again in consideration of the embarrassment of confessing it.

Yes, without a doubt, every single priest will know exactly what someone means if he/she says, “I was impure with myself.” Now, if someone confesses “impure acts,” then you’re right, that would need to be clarified. By yourself? With another?

But, we should not impose burdens on penitents that the Church herself does not impose. The Church says that we must confess all mortal sins in kind and in number. So, if someone says, “I murdered a man,” and someone else says, “I took the life of a fellow human being,” it makes no difference. It’s the same thing. Both express the kind of sin that was committed. The Church isn’t interested in semantics but healing. Let’s not make it harder for the young man than it already is.

 

[JimG]

Euphemisms for sins in the sacrament of confession have a long history. The priest will understand, and if he doesn’t, will ask. While I prefer being direct and blunt when naming sins, using a euphemism does not invalidate the confession. I recall an old priest whose motto regarding confession was: “Be brief. Be blunt. Be gone.”