Confession: forgotten sins, lists, scrupulousity, and doubtful sins

[Goriettigirl14]

Hi,

I am aware that it is a mortal sin to deliberately conceal a mortal sin in confession. However, suppose that after you confess your sins and say “for these sins and the sins of my whole life, I am sorry”, the priest is giving you advice, and you remember a mortal sin you didn’t confess… Should you interrupt the priest and mention this other mortal sin? What if he is already saying the words of absolution?

Also, I usually bring a list of my sins to confession, but I am thinking of not doing this next time I go… I can be a bit scrupulous, and I feel like a list just makes me too legalistic and frustrated. However, if I don’t bring a list, I will probably forget some of my sins, and I will probably get nervous and mess up my wording and possibly even lie and/or omit something… Probably one of my biggest fears is making my confession invalid! Does anybody have any good advice for scrupulosity and confession, whether or not to bring a list, etc.?

Also, I know that you are confessing a doubtful sin, you are supposed to specify that it is DOUBTFUL. However, a LOT of my sins are doubtful… I worry about being lax, and would like to confess at least some of them for my peace of mind. Does anyone have any advice for confessing doubtful sins?

Thanks everybody. I feel like I get so hung up on all this technical stuff that I think I have a hard time trusting in God’s mercy and love sometimes.

God bless!

Goriettigirl14

 

[1ke]

The first thing to do in confession is tell the priest you suffer from scrupulosity and are therefore nervous about forgetting a sin, misclassifying a sin, etc.

It is important to get help for scrupulosity from a regular confessor who can help you overcome this serious spiritual condition.

 

[OneSmallFlower]

I hear you loud and clear, my friend. My best advice is to get a regular confessor; it’s been so helpful.

 

[StudentMI]

I used to bring a list every time I went, for the first few months (I am a convert). I have OCD and the two priests at the parish I confessed to were aware I was scrupulous. I would go over the list exactly. Finally, one day, as I was reading from it I pushed it aside in frustration and stated I’m not sure if I really did commit all the sins I had listed. Some I know I had, but others I had no idea. I didn’t understand the difference between thoughts and sins. I think the priest was happy I did that. I’ve never brought a list since. I state what I remember, and what I don’t, I say “for these and any others I can’t remember, I ask God’s pardon.” One of the two told me to say that and be at peace. It doesn’t invalidate the confession. After getting my penance, I’ll sometimes ask if I can mention something I remembered, and they say it’s okay, and I do. I was once told that if I recall it as the absolution is being given, it’s fine as well. You’re not supposed to interrupt. And you’re forgiven.

If you are scrupulous, and you sound like it, I would say don’t bring a list. It reinforces that attitude, in my opinion.

 

[Bookcat]

Hi,

I am aware that it is a mortal sin to deliberately conceal a mortal sin in confession. However, suppose that after you confess your sins and say “for these sins and the sins of my whole life, I am sorry”, the priest is giving you advice, and you remember a mortal sin you didn’t confess… Should you interrupt the priest and mention this other mortal sin? What if he is already saying the words of absolution?

Jimmy Akin - senior apologist at Catholic Answers: jimmyakin.com/2009/12/what-if-you-suddenly-remember-in-confession.html

 

[Bookcat]

I can be a bit scrupulous, and I feel like a list just makes me too legalistic and frustrated. However, if I don’t bring a list, I will probably forget some of my sins, and I will probably get nervous and mess up my wording and possibly even lie and/or omit something… Probably one of my biggest fears is making my confession invalid! Does anybody have any good advice for scrupulosity and confession, whether or not to bring a list, etc.?

Talk with the Priest who has been hearing your confessions. He can determine if you are struggling with scruples as one who has been hearing your confessions.

---

A person struggles with scruples - what ought they do?

A person with scrupulosity --ought to have a* “regular confessor” who can direct them --and even give them some general principles* to follow -to apply (principles for them due to their particular scruples -they are usually not for those with a normal conscience).

Thus with their direction they can “dismiss scruples” (in the older language despise them) - “act against them”.

Scruples are to be dismissed ~ not argued with.

To borrow and image from a Carthusian from centuries ago: Scruples *are like a barking dog or a hissing goose -one does not stop to argue with a barking dog or a hissing goose does one? * No one keeps walking.

Such ‘obedience’ to a regular confessor who knows of ones scruples (except in what is manifest sin - such as if he told them it was ok to murder someone or something certain like that) is key. Such is the age old practice.

Also counseling - could be helpful depending on the case -but one would want to look for a counselor who can assist one in following the Churches Teachings - not go contrary to them (I have heard CA staff mention catholictherapists.com/)

Here was a recent post from Jimmy Akin of CA that I saw in the Register and saved for those who struggle with such.

ncregister.com/blog/jimmy-akin/6-tools-for-the-scrupulous

 

[Bookcat]

Also, I know that you are confessing a doubtful sin, you are supposed to specify that it is DOUBTFUL. However, a LOT of my sins are doubtful… I worry about being lax, and would like to confess at least some of them for my peace of mind. Does anyone have any advice for confessing doubtful sins?

Thanks everybody. I feel like I get so hung up on all this technical stuff that I think I have a hard time trusting in God’s mercy and love sometimes.

God bless!

Goriettigirl14

For those who do not struggle with scruples - it is a good practice to confess doubtful mortal sins (those who are “lax” I mean really* lax *not a person with scruples fearing such…even more urged to). Noting of course that there is doubt.

For those who have a difficulty with scruples - they are often advised not to confess *doubtful *mortal sins. (and such is not a novel idea…)

Their regular confessor can direct them (see my post above) as to what is best for them -for he will know them.

One is not obliged to confess doubtful sins.​

Talk with your confessor - but it would seem to me that a person who “worries” about being lax…is not lax…