Confession Frequency & The Struggle With Pride

[Melchior_1]

Without going into too many details, I’ve got a couple of habitual sins which effectively are causing me to have to go to Confession every week. Every so often I can get a handle on things, but there are a lot of times I “fall off the wagon” so to speak. I don’t like going every week, I don’t want to go every week. I’d love it if I could make it two or three weeks on a regular basis. When I went yesterday, I told this to the associate pastor in my parish (who was hearing Confessions before Mass). Told him I was getting discouraged and frustrated that I keep on taking steps backwards and that I don’t want to go every week, but I have to. I mentioned to him this was probably a pride issue on my part, as I feel like I should be better than this. I shouldn’t be in a position to go every week and that I should be a stronger person than what I am.

First, he asked me if it wasn’t for those habitual sins would I still go every week. I replied with “No. I’d still go with some frequency, but certainly not once a week unless it’s needed for that week”.

His reply intrigued me. He said to me perhaps at this time in my life, God is calling me to go to Confession every week. That, perhaps, God is using my weaknesses and trappings to make me grow spiritually. And at the point where I no longer need this, I will perhaps be free from those sinful trappings and no longer need to go to Confession every week.

It’s something I need to reflect on further, but it makes sense. Growing through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, God using something bad in my life and turning it into something positive. The Sacrament making me stronger in certain areas so that eventually I can get a more consistent handle on things.

So some discussion questions (NON-DEBATE QUESTIONS no less!);

1. How often do you go to confession?
2. Without going into details (unless you feel like it) is are there consistent things that cause you to go?
3. Would you go less if less if it wasn’t for those things?
4. Do you feel you get growth and strength from continually going to the Sacrament?

 

[dailey]

1. I go to confession about every 2-3 weeks.
2. I struggle with my hot temper and tend to insult/yell too much.
3. Yes, if I could learn to keep my mouth shut, I wouldn’t have to go as often, lol. (probably once a month)
4. Somewhat. I always feel better after leaving…but I shudder at the thought of my next outburst. I know a big part of it is pride. I always want to get the last word in…

 

[Waiting]

I used to go to Confession frequently, but now it’s every other month. Being a senior citizen, I’ve had to fight sin a long time. I started young, though, in trying not to repeat some of the same sins. I got disgusted with myself, and started concentrating on eliminating one sin at a time. It’s not easy, but very possible over time. Maybe pride entered in, because I was ashamed to admit I kept resolving not to do it again, but still failed. And I felt that I put all my trust in God, but He couldn’t put His trust in me. That hurt, but helped when I was tempted to commit that same sin again. I really wanted God to be a little proud of me. Maybe it all comes down to pride. Whenever you’re tempted to commit the sin that keeps you returning to Confession every week, think about how you’re disappointing God. Do you really want to do that? Good luck and God bless.

 

[TimothyH]

1. Do you feel you get growth and strength from continually going to the Sacrament?

Absolutely.

If you look in the Catechsim, the Sacrament of Pennance and Reconcilliation is under the heading of “Sacraments of Healing” along with Annointing of the Sick. There is no sacrament of forgiveness.

I find that if I go looking for forgiveness, that is exactly what I will get. Forgiveness is good as far as it goes and we all need forgiveness but God want’s to heal you. The Holy Spirit is the doctor of our souls and Jesus Christ is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. Christ want’s to do more than forgive us. He wants to heal us so that we don’t have to come back again.

I actually say, “Bless me Father for I have sinned. I accuse myself and wish to be healed of the following sins.”

I think your confessor is a very wise man. God has placed our priests there for us and given them special gifts of the Holy Spirit so that they can guide our souls to Heaven. Have patience.

-Tim-

 

[Melchior_1]

Absolutely.

If you look in the Catechsim, the Sacrament of Pennance and Reconcilliation is under the heading of “Sacraments of Healing” along with Annointing of the Sick. There is no sacrament of forgiveness.

I find that if I go looking for forgiveness, that is exactly what I will get. Forgiveness is good as far as it goes and we all need forgiveness but God want’s to heal you. The Holy Spirit is the doctor of our souls and Jesus Christ is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. Christ want’s to do more than forgive us. He wants to heal us so that we don’t have to come back again.

I actually say, “Bless me Father for I have sinned. I accuse myself and wish to be healed of the following sins.”

I think your confessor is a very wise man. God has placed our priests there for us and given them special gifts of the Holy Spirit so that they can guide our souls to Heaven. Have patience.

-Tim-

Well said, and I think this is what Father was getting at when he was talking to me. Obviously I need the healing power of the Sacrament regularly at this point in my life.

He is pretty wise. Ordained two years ago, he’s only 33 (or 34) so it’s interesting to talk to him as he’s close to my age (29).

 

[hazcompat]

1. every week.
2. yes
3. yes
   4.yes

peace

 

[Padraig1972]

1. How often do you go to confession? a
2. Without going into details (unless you feel like it) is are there consistent things that cause you to go?
3. Would you go less if less if it wasn’t for those things?
4. Do you feel you get growth and strength from continually going to the Sacrament?

My answers:

1. Every 3 week (around there, unfortunately).
2. I struggle with two things yes.
3. I go to confession once i have commited something that needs to be confessed.
4. Oh yes, I do. It gives me strength. The Lord gives me strength.

 

[MrsNoahMoerbeek]

1. How often do you go to confession?

The Saints encourage frequent Confession. I believe St. Pio said to not let more than one week go in between Confessions, and I know John Paul II went weekly. My husband and I go every week, there’s nothing wrong with it, we’ve sometimes gone twice if something serious came up, even if not technically mortal. The more often we humble ourselves, the more pleasing we become to God, Who suffered the ultimate humiliation.

1. Without going into details (unless you feel like it) is are there consistent things that cause you to go?

Procrastination has always been a big one with me. Lost patience, sometimes temper. Impure thoughts, overindulgence in misc. Lately, “hatred” for by ob-gyn.

1. Would you go less if less if it wasn’t for those things?

If I didn’t have those to Confess, it would just be something else. We’re not perfect. The closer you come to God, the more you realize how you can offend Him, if that makes sense? I can go into detail with an example or two if it doesn’t.

1. Do you feel you get growth and strength from continually going to the Sacrament?

I don’t do what I mentioned with the frequency I used to…almost have them kicked, so to speak. The one I’m working on right now is “hatred” of my ob-gyn. It does help. When I have nothing “serious” to confess, I have decided to put confession off for another week or so…things didn’t go well. The venial sins grew in frequency, it was easier to fall into them, etc. Don’t give it up, it’s good for you and pleasing to God.

 

[Pug]

1. There are typically two things that have caused me to go. Either I have promised myself to go within a set length of time, or I feel acutely guilty for something and I can’t be happy until I go. The somethings that I feel so guilty for vary, and do not consistently fall into any one type of sin, but they reliably force me to show up in the next available time slot. I’ve wondered why only for a few things (typically venial) do I ever feel so bad, and I suspect it must be pride related. If I have failed a standard of mine for myself, perhaps these are the worst? Otherwise, I can’t figure out why some sins hit so hard.
2. Yes.
3. I don’t always feel any growth from it. I do often feel unburdened. I keep faith that I am receiving grace from going to confession.

 

[Jennifer_G]

1. How often do you go to confession?

Once a week.

1. Without going into details (unless you feel like it) is are there consistent things that cause you to go?

Procrastination, sins of the tongue.

1. Would you go less if less if it wasn’t for those things?

Nope.

1. Do you feel you get growth and strength from continually going to the Sacrament?

Absolutely!

 

[Christine85]

Well I was actually going every week, until my Priest told me that’s not required and that I should do confession once a month. In a way I think he has done me a bit of a favor as being able to freely go as often as I want sadly makes it easier to sin again because I know come the next Saturday I will be forgiven . I know this is a terrible pattern of thinking. But I feel now that I wont be going as much that I will try extra hard to keep away from sin… well as humanly possible.
God bless you. +++

 

[Patrick60]

For my part I would rather that love be the motivation behind frequent confession. I have two cats and they stay indoors, so I will often attend to the “box” sometimes four or five times a day. My small apartment is relatively odor free because I work hard at maintaining it. In the past they would often get unruly when the box was a mess. It’s just their nature. Certainly they are mere animals but I look at it almost as a parable of sorts. A clean cat is a happy cat. How much more myself, my soul, in the context of my relationship with God? Is there such a thing as “too” clean? Certainly such things as scrupolosity can cripple us, but a healthy disposition toward one’s soul that leads to a certain self-forgetfulness can cause our hearts to expand in such a way that we are more preoccupied with loving other people and God than in constantly cleaning up after ourselves. I want to be holy not out of any preoccupation with self but because by virtue of my holiness I am less preoccupied with self and spend more time thinking about and doing things for other people. I think it’s good to avail ourselves of the Sacraments as often as possible. Daily Mass and frequent confession are ways in which we can do our part to heal and maintain the relationships we have with other people and the relationship we have with God. I think that the ideal would be to go to frequent confession because we want to be filled with more love, as much love as possible.

 

[Marsha_Adams]

1. How often do you go to confession?

Now I am trying to go the first Saturday of every month. Before that I generally went once or twice a year. It has only been recently that I have been aware of my sins. I am not sure that they are mortal, but that is probably because they are the habits of a life time.

1. Without going into details (unless you feel like it) is are there consistent things that cause you to go?

I am judgemental and critical of others. I lack charity and compassion. I speak badly of others behind their backs. All of this is basically the results of pride and arrogance.

1. Would you go less if less if it wasn’t for those things?

If it weren’t those sins, I’m sure there would be others.

1. Do you feel you get growth and strength from continually going to the Sacrament?

I don’t know. But I really like the idea someone mentioned of asking for healing from the Sacrament.

 

[HCF]

1) How often do you go to confession?

I try for once every 3 weeks. Once in awhile it might be 2 weeks, or 4 weeks.

2) Without going into details (unless you feel like it) is are there consistent things that cause you to go?

I find myself confessing the same sins, yes, although a couple years ago I was confessing different sins. So I have had significant spiritual growth in certain areas.

3) Would you go less if less if it wasn’t for those things?

No.

4) Do you feel you get growth and strength from continually going to the Sacrament?

Yes, absolutely.

 

[Goldfinch]

I try to go at least every 2 weeks and more frequently to confess venial sins. Lately I have had a pull to the confessional for some reason, and whatever it is, I submit to it and confess even a past sin to gain the graces. Confession is beautiful, go. My recommendation is continue to go and eventually you will win over your habitual sin.

 

[PJM]

=Melchior_;7603669]Without going into too many details, I’ve got a couple of habitual sins which effectively are causing me to have to go to Confession every week. Every so often I can get a handle on things, but there are a lot of times I “fall off the wagon” so to speak. I don’t like going every week, I don’t want to go every week. I’d love it if I could make it two or three weeks on a regular basis. When I went yesterday, I told this to the associate pastor in my parish (who was hearing Confessions before Mass). Told him I was getting discouraged and frustrated that I keep on taking steps backwards and that I don’t want to go every week, but I have to. I mentioned to him this was probably a pride issue on my part, as I feel like I should be better than this. I shouldn’t be in a position to go every week and that I should be a stronger person than what I am.

First, he asked me if it wasn’t for those habitual sins would I still go every week. I replied with “No. I’d still go with some frequency, but certainly not once a week unless it’s needed for that week”.

His reply intrigued me. He said to me perhaps at this time in my life, God is calling me to go to Confession every week. That, perhaps, God is using my weaknesses and trappings to make me grow spiritually. And at the point where I no longer need this, I will perhaps be free from those sinful trappings and no longer need to go to Confession every week.

It’s something I need to reflect on further, but it makes sense. Growing through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, God using something bad in my life and turning it into something positive. The Sacrament making me stronger in certain areas so that eventually I can get a more consistent handle on things.

So some discussion questions (NON-DEBATE QUESTIONS no less!);

1. How often do you go to confession?

1. Without going into details (unless you feel like it) is are there consistent things that cause you to go?

1. Would you go less if less if it wasn’t for those things?

1. Do you feel you get growth and strength from continually going to the Sacrament?

Sounds like your Blessed with a God and holy Priest! THANK GOD!

Your point is VALID; but not truly original God thought of it first.

God; being God; could have simply extended the OT sacrafice method, and avoided the public humiliation of a person to Priest Confession.** So why didn’t He?**

Because God finds ALL SIN to be abhorent; even our lesser sins: ** Eph.1: 4 **“even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.”

The fact that we are embarassed by our choices is a sign of our reflection of our persoanl awareness that we are saying “NO!” to the God we Love!

God who Love us FAR MOREthan we can love Him in return; permits; even encourages this as a deterent to sin; especialy sins we have permitted to become BAD habits of ours.

But God tells us; and IN FACT, does NOT permit Himself to deny us help when, in humility; with sincere regret we:** Rev.3: 20 ** seek His aid. “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any one hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” **Matt.7: 7-8 **“Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For every one who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”

So let us do and God ask, and sek His help in our human weakness.

God Bless,
Pat

 

[Batfink]

1. About once every 3-4 weeks.
2. I commit the same sins on a regular basis, yes. Like one of the other posters I seem to go through phases where I confess the same sins for a while then am gradually able to lessen my habitual leaning on them only to fall into others. Sometimes I commit a sin which even I find so abhorent and destructive of my relationship with God that I am never tempted to do it again but in general I find the same pattern over and over again.
3. St Catherine of Siena says that as we grow closer to God we are more and more aware of our sinfulness and how even what we might have considered previously as a trivial matter is anathema to God and totally opposed to his unending goodness. So I would in fact like to go to confession more, not less, frequently (although I’m not in your position of currently going weekly I would like to be) and I believe that if I did manage to break the attachment to the sins which currently trouble me, I would still see more to accuse myself of.
4. I love confession! Every time I go I am torn between praying for God’s grace to help me resist sin so that I won’t need to go again, gratitude for this amazing sacrament, and knowing that if (and, in all human likelihood, probably when) I need to go again, it will be available to me and so overpoweringly awesome! The only thing I have to guard against there is the sin of presumption, which I have committed on occasion.

When, for whatever reason, I have had periods where I haven’t been for a while (like after childbirth), I find it much more difficult to go back to confession and I find I can’t remember everything I’ve done since my last confession. On the other hand, when I come out of a good confession, I automatically want to go again as soon as I’ve put a foot wrong. The more I go, the more I am strengthened and empowered in God’s love, the less embarrassed I am to say anything that I’ve done and the more I am open to the graces offered to me, that’s how we and the sacrament are designed!

 

[PJM]

=Batfink;7613617]1) About once every 3-4 weeks.

1. I commit the same sins on a regular basis, yes. Like one of the other posters I seem to go through phases where I confess the same sins for a while then am gradually able to lessen my habitual leaning on them only to fall into others. Sometimes I commit a sin which even I find so abhorent and destructive of my relationship with God that I am never tempted to do it again but in general I find the same pattern over and over again.

1. St Catherine of Siena says that as we grow closer to God we are more and more aware of our sinfulness and how even what we might have considered previously as a trivial matter is anathema to God and totally opposed to his unending goodness. So I would in fact like to go to confession more, not less, frequently (although I’m not in your position of currently going weekly I would like to be) and I believe that if I did manage to break the attachment to the sins which currently trouble me, I would still see more to accuse myself of.

1. I love confession! Every time I go I am torn between praying for God’s grace to help me resist sin so that I won’t need to go again, gratitude for this amazing sacrament, and knowing that if (and, in all human likelihood, probably when) I need to go again, it will be available to me and so overpoweringly awesome! The only thing I have to guard against there is the sin of presumption, which I have committed on occasion.

When, for whatever reason, I have had periods where I haven’t been for a while (like after childbirth), I find it much more difficult to go back to confession and I find I can’t remember everything I’ve done since my last confession. On the other hand, when I come out of a good confession, I automatically want to go again as soon as I’ve put a foot wrong. The more I go, the more I am strengthened and empowered in God’s love, the less embarrassed I am to say anything that I’ve done and the more I am open to the graces offered to me, that’s how we and the sacrament are designed!

Good for you!

The Desire for holiness it seems to me, is alway’s a necessary first step in attaining it?

Acquisition of it is only possible through God’s Mercy, Grace, and our co-operation with same. God’s Love is very evident in that He permits Sacramental Grace; as “ours for the asking.” What an Awesome God we have!

God Bless,
Pat