Confession help me?!

[InThePew]

However, this is at the end of the RCIA program before coming into the Church. First Confession is always done at the parish of the RCIA. After that we are free to go to any priest wherever.

The OP is about to receive confirmation (presumably as a teenager) but isn’t in RCIA - she’s already Catholic. Regardless, even in RCIA you can’t be restricted to just the priests of the parish. If a parish isn’t set up for screened confessions, and a neighbouring parish is, then a person is perfectly entitled to go to the other parish. While it’s preferable that the sacrament of reconciliation takes place in the candidate’s parish, this is not essential. Ultimately, what really matters is that they go to confession, not where they do it.

 

[thistle]

The OP is about to receive confirmation (presumably as a teenager) but isn’t in RCIA - she’s already Catholic. Regardless, even in RCIA you can’t be restricted to just the priests of the parish. If a parish isn’t set up for screened confessions, and a neighbouring parish is, then a person is perfectly entitled to go to the other parish. While it’s preferable that the sacrament of reconciliation takes place in the candidate’s parish, this is not essential. Ultimately, what really matters is that they go to confession, not where they do it.

You are right. I didn’t read the OP carefully and my mind was on another thread about RCIA.

 

[JackMcCoy]

I am always afraid of forgetting sins, so I try to make a list. I take the list into the confessional. I try to speak from the heart as I go through my list. Then I recite the Act of Contrition as I ask for forgiveness and vow to try to amend my life.
At times, I have asked the priest for help.
Just speak from the heart. You will be fine.
God bless you!

 

[matjam]

PREPARATION IS IMPORTANT.
You need to spend some time preparing for confession. You have to analysis your doings based on the Ten Commandments. Pray and do an examination of the conscience. Check this link. Examination of Conscience
Write down sins on a piece of paper so you won’t miss anything and don’t forget to dispose.

 

[Izzy1]

I am getting confirmed that’s why it has to be done in my parish otherwise I can do it any where

 

[InThePew]

I am getting confirmed that’s why it has to be done in my parish otherwise I can do it any where

Talk to your priest and tell him that you’d be more comfortable doing it behind a screen

 

[AlbertDerGrosse]

If you’re a teenage confirmand then this won’t be your first confession, right? Presumably you’re already going to confession regularly. I don’t see how anyone at your parish would know whether you recently confessed. Go elsewhere and confess now, before whatever scheduled confessions they have set apart for your group of confirmands.

 

[GospelOfMatthew]

I think you should question why it is you are hiding this from your parents. Immaturity? Embarrassment? Pride? Were you told not to date? Nothing good can come from hiding this. The devil works best when we are being secretive and we all know, dating is not the place for secrets

 

[Izzy1]

I’m not allowed to date that’s why I’m hiding it from my parents . Is it a sin ?

 

[GospelOfMatthew]

I would respect your parents then and stop dating, that’s a decision you have to make not us though. But your parents don’t have this rule so as to be mean. They have it to protect your dignity and worth as a daughter of God! Dating at your age can result in low self-esteem, low self-worth, over-analyzing, and potentially impurity. Your parents are protecting you

Is there an age they said you can date? I think an age is a bit arbitrary, it should be based on maturity. And the fact is, girls mature faster than guys. A 15YO girl might be thinking about love and envisioning a wedding dress and future marriage and all that. Meanwhile a 15YO guy is starting to see attraction and thinking about impure things. So your parents are also protecting you from immature guys haha

 

[Kima]

Take a look on this website for an example of an Examination of Conscience. (http://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-wor...on-young-adults-examination-of-conscience.cfm)

I made my first Confession before confirmation. It was behind a screen with a familiar priest. I was so embarrassed, and almost didn´t want to talk to that priest for some time. Now, more than a year later, I´ve learned to handle it a bit better. Confession will always cost something of us, it´s not supposed to be too easy. But whatever sins you bring to Confession, you will be forgiven. The priest is not there to judge, but rather to guide you and lead you through the Sacrament.

You may ask the priest on whether the act you are thinking of is sinful or not. But remember: we are supposed to honor and respect our parents. Maybe you could ask them why they are not allowing you to date? They are probably trying to protect you, but you are old enough to know what they are trying to protect you from

The Ten Commandments and the Examination of Conscience is a good guide to begin with.

 

[badger11]

I would encourage you to watch this YouTube video. (The priest starts off a little strong, but then is very kind and insightful). He suggests several avenues to help people make a good confession.

For what it is worth, I recently went to confession after some time away. I had planned to do my confession behind a screen, as I too am an introvert. However, when it came time, I decided (or God pushed me) to confess face to face with the priest. It actually helped me to see that the priest was calm and relaxed, was kind, and very conversational. I became very at ease. I believe in hindsight that I would have felt much more anxiety if I was not face to face with the priest. You may well feel differently, but I wanted to share my experience.

 

[TomH1]

You have the right to make your confession behind a screen ( cf. Canon 964 §2) in a confessional ( cf. Canon 964 §3). You also have the right to choose your confessor ( cf. Canon 991).

Going to confession is important. Therefore, you should go where and with whom you feel comfortable. If it will make it easier to go to confession to a priest who does not know you and who you believe you will never see again you can do this.

 

[phil19034]

I highly recommend this confession app that you can get for the iPhone or Android.

It’s a great way to prepare for confession and organize your thoughts before hand. And it’s a great way to search your conscience before confession too.

http://www.littleiapps.com/confession/

God Bless

 

[phil19034]

You have the right to make your confession behind a screen ( cf. Canon 964 §2) in a confessional ( cf. Canon 964 §3). You also have the right to choose your confessor ( cf. Canon 991).

Going to confession is important. Therefore, you should go where and with whom you feel comfortable. If it will make it easier to go to confession to a priest who does not know you and who you believe you will never see again you can do this.

@Izzy1
While all of this that @TomH1 has posted is true, since you are 15, please do not make a big deal out of this. However, if you would strongly prefer to receive first confession at another parish or just behind the screen, please ask your parents (assuming they are Catholic) to speak with the pastor for you.

If your parents are not Catholic, then I would suggest speaking with the pastor about your anxiety because you do have a right to head confession behind a screen, esp if that brings you more comfort.

God Bless & Godspeed!

 

[TomH1]

please do not make a big deal out of this.

It is not making a big deal out of it. The OP says she is being told she must confess in a certain place and by particular means. This is causing her anxiety. She does not have to confess to whom she does not want and no one should trample on her rights to do so.

Of course, we do not know her situation. If she lives in a remote rural area and the next church is 40 miles away then unless her parents are willing to drive her over there practicalities are likely to oblige her to do what she would prefer not to do. If she is in an urban area like the one in which I grew up there may be plenty of Catholic churches that she could easily take herself to.

 

[phil19034]

phil19034:

please do not make a big deal out of this.

It is not making a big deal out of it. The OP says she is being told she must confess in a certain place and by particular means. This is causing her anxiety. She does not have to confess to whom she does not want and no one should trample on her rights to do so.

Of course, we do not know her situation. If she lives in a remote rural area and the next church is 40 miles away then unless her parents are willing to drive her over there practicalities are likely to oblige her to do what she would prefer not to do. If she is in an urban area like the one in which I grew up there may be plenty of Catholic churches that she could easily take herself to.

Tom - I wasn’t applying that it was. I agree with you 100%. I was just advising her (since she’s 15) not to make this into a big deal because of the way some adults are.

If someone is going to fight the parish on this, it would be ideal if it was her parents.

 

[TomH1]

If someone is going to fight the parish on this, it would be ideal if it was her parents.

If I missed that point I do apologise. I have never meant she should tackle the parish on her own. I was trying simply to explain her rights. If her parish is going to start making an issue out of this then, definitely, it must be her parents who fight her quarter. Hopefully, in some way the thread as helped as she can go to her parents and say look this is really how things should be because her parents may not be any better informed. Let us hope it is resolved and the parish remember canon 1752.

 

[Kima]

I have confessed face to face with a priest two times before. The first time was unexpected since I didn´t know that it wasn´t a screen inside the confessional. I remember someone telling me that the confessional was a bit unusual but I didn´t expect it to be like that. The second time was at the same place with the same confessor. I wasn´t so bad that it stopped me from going, but I personally think recieving the Sacrament behind the screen is the most comfortable way of doing so.

Some people actually prefers face-to-face Confessions because they think that it´s more natural and less formal. I guess it´s just about preference.

It´s probably going to be just fine. Just be honest and confess whatever sins you have made

 

[phil19034]

If your parents are not Catholic, then I would suggest speaking with the pastor about your anxiety because you do have a right to head confession behind a screen, esp if that brings you more comfort.

@Izzy1

BTW - if you parents are not Catholic, this is also something your God Parent(s) could approach the parish on your behalf too.

God Bless