Confession Help

[rosetta_stone]

I am worried that a past confession could have been invalid because I am not sure if I had resolved to not commit a sin again. The sin was that I never told my father (parents are divorced and marriage annulled) about my percussion recitals.
I recently invited him to my latest recital and plan on inviting him to the rest of them this year.
So basically I’m wondering what do I do when I go to confession? Do I just say a confession may have been invalid and reconfess sins or what?

 

[passus]

I am worried that a past confession could have been invalid because I am not sure if I had resolved to not commit a sin again. The sin was that I never told my father (parents are divorced and marriage annulled) about my percussion recitals.
I recently invited him to my latest recital and plan on inviting him to the rest of them this year.
So basically I’m wondering what do I do when I go to confession? Do I just say a confession may have been invalid and reconfess sins or what?

Since you recently invited him to your latest recital and intend to invite him to the rest of them this year, as you say, how would you not have resolved to commit that sin again?

Also, an issue of confessing one sin does not make your entire confession invalid. If you confess a sin you have not repented for or withhold a sin, you simply are not forgiven or absolved of that particular sin.

Why would not inviting your father to one of your recitals be a sin in the first place?

 

[Verbum_Caro]

Also, an issue of confessing one sin does not make your entire confession invalid. If you confess a sin you have not repented for or withhold a sin, you simply are not forgiven or absolved of that particular sin.

Not so if withheld or unrepented sin is mortal. One mortal sin cannot be forgiven without all mortal sin being forgiven.

(I’m not addressing the original poster’s situation, or making a judgment that any of the sins were mortal, I’m simply pointing out that an unrepented for known mortal sin, or a intentionally withheld mortal sin invalidates the whole confession.)

VC

 

[rosetta_stone]

Since you recently invited him to your latest recital and intend to invite him to the rest of them this year, as you say, how would you not have resolved to commit that sin again?

Also, an issue of confessing one sin does not make your entire confession invalid. If you confess a sin you have not repented for or withhold a sin, you simply are not forgiven or absolved of that particular sin.

Why would not inviting your father to one of your recitals be a sin in the first place?

because i didn’t tell him about them and lied to keep him from finding out, and we all have obligations to our parents
well the problem is i’m not really sure if I was repentant so what do I do?

 

[passus]

Not so if withheld or unrepented sin is mortal. One mortal sin cannot be forgiven without all mortal sin being forgiven.

According to what?

I can understand that the confession would be “unworthy” and that no state of grace would be restored to the soul of the individual, but why would the confessed sins not be forgiven?

because i didn’t tell him about them and lied to keep him from finding out, and we all have obligations to our parents
well the problem is i’m not really sure if I was repentant so what do I do?

You would simply go to confession again and confess the same sin again.

 

[rosetta_stone]

I have to go to sleep now, but more advice would be helpful.

btw don’t sidetrack the thread and I never said I thought it was a mortal sin.

 

[Benedict108]

I am worried that a past confession could have been invalid because I am not sure if I had resolved to not commit a sin again. The sin was that I never told my father (parents are divorced and marriage annulled) about my percussion recitals.
I recently invited him to my latest recital and plan on inviting him to the rest of them this year.
So basically I’m wondering what do I do when I go to confession? Do I just say a confession may have been invalid and reconfess sins or what?

Only you can be the judge of your level of contrition and resolve not to sin again so you would have to be the one to truly ponder those questions.

As far as your confession goes, you can only confess the things you can recall if you don’t remember it and don’t omit it willingly just confess it at your next opportunity, but you should not confess things that you are not contrite for as contrition for our sins is a necessity for the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

It sounds like there may be more going on than just a past lie to your father, but it sounds like there is an issue of forgiveness at hand. I could be wrong and I hate to presumptuous or insulting , but if there is it would be something that needs to be dealt with as well. Anyhow, what I say is not really as important as what your priest/confessor has to say to you. I would talk to him about your feelings, as he could better help you to discern your feelings. I say this because sometimes people can be too scrupulous and that can be a problem in itself. I think your priest would be your best resource:thumbsup: .

Pax tecum .

 

[Lazerlike42]

According to what?

First, a few sources, and then an explanation.

they who… knowingly keep back certain sins, such set nothing before the divine bounty to be forgiven through the priest: for if the sick be ashamed to show his wound to the physician, his medical art cures not that which it knows not of.

• Council of Trent, Session 14 Chapter V

85 Q: In what way must he relieve his conscience who has willfully concealed a mortal sin in confession?

A: He who has willfully concealed a mortal sin in confession, must reveal to his confessor the sin concealed, say in how many confessions he has concealed it, and make all these confessions over again, from the last good confession.

• Catechism of Pius X, Section on Penance

(see also the Catechism of Trent on Penance, and the Baltimore Catechism SQ. 279 on penance)

Here is Thomas Aquinas’ explanation. Note that when he says “sin” in this section, he is referring specifically to mortal sin:

I answer that, It is impossible for Penance to take one sin away without another. First because sin is taken away by grace removing the offense against God. Wherefore it was stated in I-II, 109, 7; I-II, 113, 2 that without grace no sin can be forgiven. Now every mortal sin is opposed to grace and excludes it. Therefore it is impossible for one sin to be pardoned without another. Secondly, because, as shown above (Article 2) mortal sin cannot be forgiven without true Penance, to which it belongs to renounce sin, by reason of its being against God, which is common to all mortal sins: and where the same reason applies, the result will be the same. Consequently a man cannot be truly penitent, if he repent of one sin and not of another. For if one particular sin were displeasing to him, because it is against the love of God above all things (which motive is necessary for true repentance), it follows that he would repent of all. Whence it follows that it is impossible for one sin to be pardoned through Penance, without another. Thirdly, because this would be contrary to the perfection of God’s mercy, since His works are perfect, as stated in Deuteronomy 32:4; wherefore whomsoever He pardons, He pardons altogether. Hence Augustine says [De vera et falsa Poenitentia, the authorship of which is unknown, that “it is irreverent and heretical to expect half a pardon from Him Who is just and justice itself.”

• Summa Theologica

, III, 8, 3

There is a much more explicit statement somewhere that I unfortunately can’t find. Maybe somebody else remembers where it is. It says something like “the nature of mortal sin is such that one cannot be removed alone.”

Here’s the explanation. Remember that sin and repentance are not merely juridical, as many Protestants understand it. The common Protestant view is basically that when we sin, we become “legally” responsible for it before God. Forgiveness means that that “legal” responsibility is lifted. Now the Catholic understanding of sin is much fuller. Now some Catholics mistakenly believe something in between, as if sins earn a sort of “legal” guilt before God, and when a person dies God looks at that legal debt. If there is any mortal sins, the person goes to hell. When a person confesses a mortal sin, the “legal” debt for that sin is forgiven. I don’t know if this is how you are thinking. It may not be. I went into all of this because the contrast of this with the reality makes it easier to understand.

The reality does indeed included a sort of legal side to things, but it is, as I said, much more full than that. The whole truth is that salvation and sin is based upon Sanctifying Grace, and whether its present in the soul or not. Sanctifying Grace is that special indwelling of the Holy Spirit which causes a person to be holy. Baptism imparts Sanctifying Grace. Mortal sin is not just a legal act, but is also the rejection of Sanctifying Grace. When a person wilfully commits a grave evil, he makes the decision to do something completely incompatible with love, and so to reject the Holy Spirit, Who is Love. Confession restores Sanctifying Grace to the soul.

Now, as St. Thomas explains (albeit in more complicated language), confessing all of the mortal sins without withholding any is critical, because when we’re dealing with mortal sins instead of venial sins, we’re dealing with the same question about each of them: does the penitent want to embrace love, or cling to a complete rejection of it? If a person has committed two mortal sins, and confesses one but willingly withholds the other, then that person is clinging on to a total rejection of love, and so Sanctifying Grace isn’t restored. What’s more, the person is, as the documents I cited mention outside of those quotations, committing another mortal sin by lying to God (in pretending that the confession is entire) and profaning the Sacrament, and so for that reason as well is refusing to embrace love.

So, basic answer: when a person withholds a mortal sin, he doesn’t receive Sanctifying Grace in his soul, so its as if he hasn’t been absolved of anything - he’s in the same state as he was before (this is what people mean when they mention “state of grace” or “state of mortal sin.”)

Deeper answer: when a person withholds a mortal sin, he hasn’t turned from a rejection of love to an embrace of it, and so the ultimate reality of all of his mortal sins - a rejection of love - is still in him, and so, while he may have turned against some of his mortal sins in their particular object - for example, adultery, hatred, etc. - he hasn’t turned against their base “cause”… what they really are underneath the guise of the act itself, and so he needs to again confess those as well.

Hopefully that won’t get this thread off track!

God bless
[/quote]

 

[Benedict108]

Hopefully that won’t get this thread off track!

God bless

I don’t think you are throwing it off track, you are right on with your interpretation of confession. I concur. I probably should have expanded my own post to include more. I think you clarified it . Hopefully the person who started the thread thinks so too.

Pax tecum.

 

[Lazerlike42]

Rosetta Stone,

As others have said, only you can judge your personal contrition. However, you can receive guidance in doing that, which I will try to do now. As Benedict108 said, consult above all with a good and faithful priests over this, above the advice you receive here.

Let me start with this advice, which I have found so many people need to hear. If you do not, I apologize. The resolution not to commit a sin again does not mean you will, in fact, never commit the sin again. You are human, and however strongly you resolve, you may again fall. In fact, a person may even leave the confessional with a very firm resolution not to commit a sin again, and then minutes later begin waffling on that intent, or even begin to say to himself, “I want to do this thing.” That’s the nature of being a fallen human being. Now certainly, this is no excuse for things to remain this way. Fallen human nature as it is, with prayer, pennance, personal sacrifice, and general growth in holiness, a person can overcome this nature so as that he or she will not begin to waffle after leaving the confessional.

Nevertheless, what matters is what your intent and resolution was as you made your confession. When you confessed your sins, and when you made your act of contrition, did you do so with the clear intent in your mind that you did not really mean to turn from the sin and that you were not going to invite your father the next time? If so, then you were not absolved of that sin (it being, in all likihood, venial, as has been discussed, it did not impact the rest of your confession). However, here are some other possibilities as you made your confession:

• You resolved - even grudgingly - to invite your father the next time, but felt that when the time came you would not be able to gather the strength to do it.

The sin would be absolved. Your own fear, while not helpful in completing your resolution, is another issue from the resolution itself.

• You resolved - even grudgingly - to invite your father the next time, but felt that when the time came you would not be able to gather the strength to do it and you had the feeling of hope that you wouldn’t, but you - even grudgingly - “said no” to that hope and intended to invite him.

The sin would be absolved, so long as that last “but” was in there. As long as you made a decision against that hope that you felt, you were good to go. Remember, choices count; feelings do not.

There are other possibilities, but hopefully this gets the idea across? Only you can really tell what you felt; you just have to make sure you are really judging the right thing, rather than some of the other side things I’ve mentioned.

Also, a few other points that I think are important. This was, it seems, almost certainly a venial sin. Now you said you have invited him since, and so you, in actuality, have repented of it, regardless of what you did at the time of the confession. The reality is that you’ve been forgiven this already… Venial sins are forgiven in any number of ways when they are repented of, such as reception of the Eucharist and by making the Sign of the Cross with Holy Water, and perhaps most importantly simply by going to confession - even if you don’t specifically mention it - after you’ve repented of it.

As such, I’d take all of this advice to judge your confessions about more serious sin in the future (supposing that you have these, and hoping that you do not), but not worry about this particular sin. You’ve invited your father, so you’ve repented of it - even if your feelings are still not fuzzy about having invited him. In fact, if you don’t feel fuzzy but did it anyways, then your repentance is in a sense even more meritorious than had you begun to actually feel happy about inviting him, as you have made a choice in favor of doing what is right in spite of unpleasent feelings about it.

Of course, working out the vice of those negative feelings is still something to work on, if indeed they can be worked out.

God bless

 

[rosetta_stone]

this is the crux of the problem though because I can’t remember my intention at the time of confession and i didn’t confess it specifically just confessed to lying

 

[Lazerlike42]

this is the crux of the problem though because I can’t remember my intention at the time of confession and i didn’t confess it specifically just confessed to lying

I really wouldnt worry about it at this point… there’s almost no reason to. Remember this:

This was, it seems, almost certainly a venial sin. Now you said you have invited him since, and so you, in actuality, have repented of it, regardless of what you did at the time of the confession. The reality is that you’ve been forgiven this already… Venial sins are forgiven in any number of ways when they are repented of, such as reception of the Eucharist and by making the Sign of the Cross with Holy Water, and perhaps most importantly simply by going to confession - even if you don’t specifically mention it - after you’ve repented of it.

Thining about it at this point can probably only play into the devil’s hands to lead to toward scrupulosity, and thus much more trouble.

That is, unless there is a reason I’m not thinking of that makes it important to you. If so, I apologize, of course! And if so, feel free - if you’re willing, of course - to share it and get further (name removed by moderator)ut.

God bless

 

[Benedict108]

this is the crux of the problem though because I can’t remember my intention at the time of confession and i didn’t confess it specifically just confessed to lying

Make an appointment with your priest, sit down and talk about it. If there is anything else to workout, he will guide you. You may have too many scruples about the issue, or you may have finally relected over the issue properly. I don’t know. I am not a priest. Really, I think you should just talk to your priest. That is what I do when I feel like you do right now.

Pax tecum.

 

[Sir_Knight]

Verbum Caro;4711482:

passus;4711048:

Also, an issue of confessing one sin does not make your entire confession invalid. If you confess a sin you have not repented for or withhold a sin, you simply are not forgiven or absolved of that particular sin.

I can understand that the confession would be “unworthy” and that no state of grace would be restored to the soul of the individual, but why would the confessed sins not be forgiven?

Story of a Bad Confession
John has four mortal sins. He goes to Confession. He tell three, but is ashamed of the other. John comes out with FIVE mortal sins.
http://stjw.org/Images/badstory.jpg
And no matter how often John goes to Confession after this, no sin will ever be forgiven until he tells the one he deliberately left out. As often as he goes to Confession without telling this sin, all his Confessions will be bad. And if he goes to Communion, this will be Sacrilege too.

 

[Verbum_Caro]

According to what?

My understanding is that it is Church teaching!

I think Lazerlike (and Sir Knight) did a good job explicating it. Did Lazer’s post help?

passus, you certainly are a very knowledgeable young Catholic. But I encourage you to take care when you present your thoughts/opinions/best lights regarding Church teaching and either a)make sure you are correct (especially when giving advice about something as crucial as confession) and/or b)don’t present it quite so “matter-of-fact”.** Leave yourself some wiggle room for later corrections.

And – perhaps you can make those corrections in the thread if you need to. Others might come along later and read what you wrote. I think redaction can sometimes be good form.

What do you think?

VC

** I’ll try to take my own advice.