how does one confess weekly, is it done in a general manner or listing detailed sins ?
also i have trouble with weekly confession due to a habit/ addiction , regarding pornography, i don’t really know what to call it. and i dont want to start using confession as a crutch or an excuse for this issue.
If you are struggling with addiction to , strong attachment to, or habitual sin, then regular confession will only help. This is not a way to have a Crutch to make the sin OK, but rather is a way to ask god for extra help and grace to overcome the addictive nature of the sin.
However: Whenever possible you should seed your regular confession to be at a time at which the priest makes himself publicly available for such, or by agreed regular appointment.
Here in the UK and in Ireland, almost all parishes have a regular saturday morning and/or Noon confession time. There is one or more priests sat waiting in the confessional, and sometimes there will be a queue of penitents waiting in the nearby pews.
If there is such a queue and you have a lot to confess, need more detailed advice, or haven’t been to confession for a long time, it might be best to ask the priest if he would prefer to schedule an appointment when you’re not holding up a long queue… that might mean just waiting till the end of the line, or coming back at an agreed time.
Grabbing the priest when he’s preparing for mass is not a good time to ask for confession. it is better to attend mass, not receive the Eucharist, and speak to the priest after mass. Daily masses rather than Sunday masses are better for this (by tradition).
So far as I know the CCC requires you to confess your sins in Type and Number as far as you can remember, for all mortal and venial sins. This may be “5 times since my last confession” or “Most Days” or “A few times”. It’s not a sin to *mistakenly *say 5 times when the actual number if you’d kept a diary was 6… there is smartphone app that can keep such a diary for you though if that will help.
Like many men, I also struggle with sins against the virtue of chastity. My confessors have always advised me that the addictive nature of these sins lessens the moral culpability, and not to dwell too much on them. To avoid the temptation where possible, resist as best I can. but that when I fall I must make an act of contrition, and not allow it to keep me from the sacraments. - Even when one tries to resist such a temptation, but ultimately falls you have often not given full consent to the sinful act… you flesh and force of habit / stress has gotten the better of you. this can often lessen the personal culpability of the objectively grave sin… but only your confessor can properly instruct you in your personal guidelines in this area. It is his responsibility to aid you and challenge you to a true process of repentance, so you’re not coding yourself or giving yourself license to sin.
In confession you don’t hold anything back. It’s fine to use euphemistic language if you don’t want to be graphic, but don’t use language which is ambiguous or could hide the true nature of your acts. There’s no need to disguise or avoid the word Pornography. but many people prefer to use terms like “self abuse” or “The sin of Onan” instead of directly naming the acts against chastity of self stimulation.
(I would point out, of course, that the sin of Onan was not “self abuse” but using withdrawal as a form of contraception, and refusing to father a child for his deceased brother as was Gods Law at the time.)
Find out when regular confession is held at your parish. Attend then (if possible). Ask the priest about regular confession, enquire is spiritual direction would be helpful (and available) as well, and be obedient to his advise.
