Confession Line Etiquette

[m134e5]

As for the confessional line, it is probably best etiquette to tell the person behind why you want to go to one confessor.

That is nobody else’s business. Most people who go to confession often enough have a priest who is particularly helpful to them.

 

[Eliza10]

…As for the confessional line, it is probably best etiquette to tell the person behind why you want to go to one confessor.

 

[tededfred]

Thanks, all. Turns out after all of this only one priest was hearing confessions today. Luckily it was the priest I wanted to see.

 

[Jason_Hurd]

Can I ask what your parish is? That is seriously unusual & lucky these days.

As for the confessional line, it is probably best etiquette to tell the person behind why you want to go to one confessor.

I think I read somewhere here that we are not supposed to name our home parishes for some reason, but I will say that it is one of the oldest in San Francisco and is located in North Beach, the Italian neighborhood.

 

[agapewolf]

Same topic different problem:

I try to respect the privacy of those on confession. Some church’s confessionals are not that soundproof. I notice often that people in line for confession continually move up when the next person goes in…often right on the other side of the wall of the confessional.

I’ve tried a couple of dfferent times to stay back, only to have the people behind me step in front of me, or laugh at my reason for not moving forward.

Even if you have bad ears, there is comfort in that appearance of more privacy.

 

[Titus]

I disagree. It is not necessary to reveal personal information concerning one’s relationship with a confessor. Simply indicating that one is waiting for Father So-and-So should be sufficient.

That was all I meant. 'I’m waiting for Fr X, is that OK?'

That is nobody else’s business. Most people who go to confession often enough have a priest who is particularly helpful to them.

**I know. All I meant was that it is good manners to say why in very general terms. **

**Thanks for the charitable reply. **

 

[Chatter163]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chatter163 forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_cad/viewpost.gif
I disagree. It is not necessary to reveal personal information concerning one’s relationship with a confessor. Simply indicating that one is waiting for Father So-and-So should be sufficient.

That was all I meant. 'I’m waiting for Fr X, is that OK?'

Quote:
Originally Posted by m134e5 forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_cad/viewpost.gif
That is nobody else’s business. Most people who go to confession often enough have a priest who is particularly helpful to them.

**I know. All I meant was that it is good manners to say why in very general terms. **

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eliza10 forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_cad/viewpost.gif


**Thanks for the charitable reply. **

I infer that the bottom line implies that you did not consider the first two quotes that you cited to be charitable. If this is true, then I am not sure why. Neither reply was rude to you.

You state that you meant one thing, but in fact, you previously expressed something quite different. OK, there was a misstatement, no problem. But we were responding to what you actually posted, rather than what you apparently meant, which was somewhat different. No rudeness was implied

 

[Titus]

Can I ask what your parish is? That is seriously unusual & lucky these days.

As for the confessional line, it is probably best etiquette to tell the person behind why you want to go to one confessor.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chatter163 forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_cad/viewpost.gif
I disagree. It is not necessary to reveal personal information concerning one’s relationship with a confessor. Simply indicating that one is waiting for Father So-and-So should be sufficient.

That was all I meant. 'I’m waiting for Fr X, is that OK?'

Quote:
Originally Posted by m134e5 forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_cad/viewpost.gif
That is nobody else’s business. Most people who go to confession often enough have a priest who is particularly helpful to them.

**I know. All I meant was that it is good manners to say why in very general terms. **

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eliza10 forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_cad/viewpost.gif


**Thanks for the charitable reply. **

I infer that the bottom line implies that you did not consider the first two quotes that you cited to be charitable. If this is true, then I am not sure why. Neither reply was rude to you.

You state that you meant one thing, but in fact, you previously expressed something quite different. OK, there was a misstatement, no problem. But we were responding to what you actually posted, rather than what you apparently meant, which was somewhat different. No rudeness was implied

This is remarkable: a common joke in Europe is that Americans have no grasp of sarcasm. And you display that stereotype! I of course meant that the last post was in no way charitable or helpful, unlike the other two. I was being sarcastic, and it was not even particularly subtle.

As for the other two answers, I realise it was unclear from my original post what my meaning was. But it was certainly not that I meant that you had to be blatant about what you were doing in that line. Merely that out of politeness one could say, 'I am waiting for Fr X, is that OK.

I am sorry if it was misunderstood.

However: given that this forum does not have an education-in-the-details-of-the-faith requirement, there is absolutely no reason to mock others for their lack of understanding, as has happened to me here. That will deter future new users & is lamentable.

 

[Chatter163]

Oh, just what we need. A European lecture on the social inadequacies of Americans. …sigh… :yawn:

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

Perhaps you could suggest to your pastor that they form two lines, since people should be free to choose their confessor.

I see nothing wrong with allowing the person behind you in line to go first, but this is what we do in my parish – two lines, and people choose the priest they want for their confession.

 

[MichaelTDoyle]

Is it just me or does the confession line seem like the penance before the penance.

 

[Cristiano]

Oh, just what we need. A European lecture on the social inadequacies of Americans. …sigh… :yawn:

Just be quiet and accept the fact that you are a just lowbrow living in the colonies.

By the way I have to move to NY. Is it still in the hands of the rebels or it is finally back in the hands of the red coats?

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

Is it just me or does the confession line seem like the penance before the penance.

Depends on how long the penitents in front of you take. I remember being in line one time, and someone was taking a really long time in the confessional. A kid in line was getting impatient, and he said “wow, that guy must be a criminal”.

 

[baltobetsy]

Depends on how long the penitents in front of you take. I remember being in line one time, and someone was taking a really long time in the confessional. A kid in line was getting impatient, and he said “wow, that guy must be a criminal”.

I was at a day of recollection once and the lady ahead of me was in confession for 30 minutes! I thought surely she had murdered her mother or something, but I was quite surprised to find myself in there for the same length of time. The priest was very talkative.

In situations where there is a group of “regulars” for confession, you get to know who’s going to take forever. When I see one of those, I make sure to get in line as soon as they come into the church, lest I get stuck behind them!

Betsy

 

[childofmary1143]

At my church we have two priests. A single line develops for both confessionals. As a person leaves each confessional, the next person in line goes in.

The problem is, I like to go to one priest more than the other – I’m more comfortable with him and he understands more of my background and what I’m struggling with. I’m really able to make a much better confession with him.

So…should I feel uncomfortable asking a person behind me in line to go in front of me if the confessional opens that I’d rather pass on?

Don’t ever feel uncomfortable for wanting to stay with the same Priest especially if you have developed a rapport. Unfortunately

I have never been in that situation however the only thing I can relate is when I go to get my haircut. There is one that I like and I have no qualms about telling others behind me to go ahead so I can have her cut my hair.

 

[Titus]

Oh, just what we need. A European lecture on the social inadequacies of Americans. …sigh… :yawn:

Since I do not want to degenerate this thread further I think we should stop the bickering.
I was not clear enough in my original post, and was indeed unclear.
There were uncharitable replies, and you failed to spot my sarcasm.
Sorry for any bother.

 

[Eliza10]

Dear Titus,

I really wasn’t being unkind! This is just a miscommunication.

You see, I thought you were being humorous (I misread) and you thought I was being uncharitable. But actually I was being charitable, as, I was laughing at what I thought you intended as a joke. You see:

First, the title of this thread caught my funny bone for some reason. I imagined people writing in some pretty funny advice about what not to do/say in the confession line. Like, well:

• Never comment on your gift of mind-reading.
• Never ask, “Do you mind telling me what you are going to tell the Priest?”

For some reason every time I saw this thread I checked to see if it had gotten silly yet. Then I saw you wrote:

…

As for the confessional line, it is probably best etiquette to tell the person behind why you want to go to one confessor.

In my mind, I changed “one” confessor to: “the” confessor.

I laughed, and thought, “Finally! I guess it takes a Brit to have a sense of humor!” I saw that m134e5 “misunderstood” you and took you seriously, and I wanted to let you know that not *all *Americans are lacking in humor, so I fired off a to let you know I got your joke!

Oh my goodness. I hope this clears it up. I think its all because if feel like Michael Doyle here:

Is it just me or does the confession line seem like the penance before the penance.

• and I think this kind of tension is breeding grounds for humor, you know?

But I think my comment, misunderstood to be uncharitable, breeded more uncharitablitly,and I didn’t catch it till now, and I feel bad about that.

 

[JimG]

I was at a day of recollection once and the lady ahead of me was in confession for 30 minutes! I thought surely she had murdered her mother or something, but I was quite surprised to find myself in there for the same length of time. The priest was very talkative.

30 minutes!! In thirty minutes I could do a general confession of my entire life plus that of my immediate relatives, and still have time to exchange jokes and have a beer with the priest, after the absolution. On weekdays my parish has confessions for 30 minutes before Mass, and normally 10 to 15 confessions are heard, not one!

But I’m curious about the posters who have said that there are separate lines, and each person gets in line for a particular priest. Does the confessional have a sign saying which priest is in there? Ours doesn’t.

 

[Eschato]

You have a line for Confessions? No, seriously. Other then our Lenten Penence(sp) service, there is NEVER a line. What a sad thing indeed.

 I'm trying very hard not to laugh at this. It isn't working. It is almost humorous how far the faithful have fallen. My local church represents 1,200 families, but only 6-20 people line up for confession every week. (If one priest can do penance with everyone in 20 minutes, is that a Christmas miracle? I've been Catholic less than a year and I would like to know.) 

I only go one a month, I have heard that this is acceptable for venial sins (I am going tomoorrow, as it is the first Saturday of the month). I know that John Paul II went daily, but I can't quite pull that off.

 

[lizaanne]

Oh, just what we need. A European lecture on the social inadequacies of Americans. …sigh… :yawn:

As a matter of fact, we do need this quite badly.

Say you are sorry to our UK friend, he was only being English, and there is certainly no crime in that. My husband does it every day.

~Liza