Confession. Need advice

[Alex5]

Hi

Just need your thoughts…
I am a new Catholic who was confirmed at Easter vigil. Something happened this week which prompted me to go to confession.

I knew that I wanted to go to confession but was a little nervous so I tried to do some research on the internet. Watched a few YouTube videos etc. Various website talked about a act of contrition. There seamed to be lots of different prayers. So I printed a couple to take with me. Another site talked about lights but I couldn’t figure out if you go in to the confessional when the light is on or off.

I had of course been to confession once before. However that was face to face with the priest in a meeting room. And the priest made it very easy.

Yesterday I got to church for 4:30, confession on a Saturday at the church I go to is from 4:30-5:30. There was no one waiting in the church and the doors to the room that the priest sits in and the confession were both shut. There were no lights and frankly I didn’t know what to do. The last thing I wanted to do was to open the door to the confessional only to find it was in use. Listening at the door to see if there was someone there didn’t seam like a good option either. So I went for walk and came back a little later.

This time the door to the confessional was open so I went in, sat down and closed the door. On the wall there was a crucifix and a card with a prayer of contrition. There was a small purple curtain but I could not see the priest. The priest said “in the name of the Farther and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit”
Then there was silence. I frozen , I just couldn’t remember what to do. So I looked for the piece of paper that I had printed out. I said “bless me farther for I have sinned”. There was then more silence I had forgotten to say how many weeks it had been since my last confession. Anyway we got through than. I made my confession. I forgot to add the section that says “For these and all my other sins which I cannot remember now…”

Eventually after what felt like an age the priest gave me a penance and told me that my sins had been forgiven.

I wish I could of actually felt able to speak openly to the Priest. I wish there had of been a prompt sheet in the confessional to explain what to do. Or that the priest had of given more direction.

However what worries me the most is during confession he said that I need to remember that reconciliation is a sacrament. But what I don’t know is what he meant by that.

Was he trying to tell me that in being not prepared enough I wasn’t being respectful?
Was he saying that this is a privilege or a gift and that I mustn’t take it for granted?
Or was he saying that confession is a rite? (Come back anytime)

It all felt difficult.

Alex

 

[Convert3]

I’ve only been a Catholic for a little over two years. I’ve only done face to face confessions, because in my mind it’s more comfortable and I feel like I’ve truly confessed my sins when I can look the priest in the eye. I also feel like we can also have a better discussion of my sins that way. But, that’s me.
Don’t be afraid to tell the priest that you’re new to confession and ask for help. They’re not there to nitpick. I took time to learn one of the prayers by memory, and still had a brain lapse on maybe my fourth confession. It happens. Go frequently and you’ll quickly get over the nerves. Being absolved of our sins is a such a weight lifted off of us!
God Bless!

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Don’t be afraid to tell the priest that you’re new to confession and ask for help.

^^ This.
The priest may not have realized this was only your second confession and you were scared and didn’t know what to do. Tell him next time, “I’m a new Catholic this year and have only been to confession a couple of times so I might get confused on the steps here.”

As for confessionals having a “prompt sheet”, some do but many don’t. I would strongly recommend you make your own little “prompt sheet” to take in there until you get the hang of this. Put the steps on it, and an act of contrition that you can read.

I wouldn’t make too much of him telling you “confession is a sacrament”. That may very well be something he tells to everyone who comes in, and if he didn’t say what he meant and you didn’t ask, it could have meant any one of two dozen things from “don’t be afraid” to “remember that you get sacramental grace from this so come back more often”. If you didn’t say the time since your last confession and didn’t explain that you were a new Catholic, he might have thought you hadn’t been in a confessional in a long time, since you stumbled so much.

Anyway, it’s good that you soldiered through it, you got absolved, and if you continue to go regularly it will get easier.

 

[awesomecatholic]

You should tell the priest you were new and scared. I don’t think he was telling you were being disrespectful. Sometimes confession can feel difficult. If you told the priest you needed help, it is his responsibility to help you. It will get better if you continue to go. The adoration chapel at my local parish had a confession guide, yours might or just print one off the internet. Welcome home!

 

[AnnRob11]

Congratulations and welcome to the church! I have yet been to confession yet (because I was baptised this year), but let me give you some advice that the RCIA team and sponsors gave all of us neophytes. Our parish has MyParish app and gives steps on confessing, so look into seeing if yours does. Also explain that you’re a new catholic, so you might need some help. Also you can print out the steps and some prayer examples.

As for what he said. I wouldn’t look too much into it. He probably says that to everyone. I know some Catholics take confession for grated, so it’s a nice reminder that it’s a sacurment and God’s love.

 

[Nicky777]

Don’t be afraid to peer into the windows to see if there’s anybody inside the confessional if the light is on and then there’s somebody is in the confessional that would signify as a red light a green light means the Priest is in the confessional and ready to hear confessions as long as there’s no red light on you can go in as far as it being a sacrament it is that just like the Holy Eucharist you receive a multitude of Graces and as far as not being prepared for what it is you’re too confessed you should do a daily inventory of the sins of the day how you offended our Lord and he sends you may have committed don’t ever be afraid the priest is representation of Christ he does not judge he cannot judge it cannot share your confession with anyone and just think of it as you are going to Christ himself confessing your sins do the recommended Penance right away and remember you can make atonement for past sins through prayers modifications that is fasting or offering up any suffering such as illnesses in a spirit of atonement

 

[on_the_hill]

The most important part of all: you were there. It’s important to say the right words, of course, but all of that is irrelevant if you’re not present.

What God cares about the most is that we’re there to reconcile with him.

 

[Jen95]

I’ve been Catholic for about ten years now. I still bring a paper in the confessional with me about how to go to confession, and I write my sins down as well. In fact, I cant imagine not using the paper!

 

[poche]

Maybe next time you could explain that you are a new Catholic and that while you prepared, you feel a bit nervous.
Hopefully he will understand.