Confession not needed?

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anonymoususer

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Ok, here is my scenario…

I typically go to confession every saturday morning. i went on the morning of feb 18. I did something stupid on that night which required a confession on monday morning. I went back to confession on saturday the 25th (today). I was pretty hard on myself on the monday confession, and the priest tried to tell me it wasn’t that big of a deal, stop moping.

I had the same priest today as last monday. the sins I confessed were…

father I have failed…

to love you with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind
to love my neighbor as myself
to honor the sabbath
to be generous to the poor

unfaithful to my spouse in thought
used foul language
i think that was it…

the priest seemed very rude; he asked me “do you have any real sins to confess?”

I said “none other than these.” he basically said that everyone fails to do these things, and that I was depressed. he absolved me, prescribed my penance, and I moved on.

was it not necessary to go to confession? was the priest rude, or am i over reacting?

one other question: if a person died of natural causes or accident immediately after confession, would they skip purgatory?
 
I dunno. Those sound like real sins to me. I’d find another confessor if you can. I don’t see how he could possibly diagnose depression by speaking to a penitent for 2 minutes.

You did the right thing. You confessed and he absolved. Time to move on.
 
Confession is always a good thing. Unfortunately parish priests don’t always feel that way especially when they hear from us over and over the same sins. They sometimes think we are just scrupulous.

Is there any way you can find a better confessor or someone who is willing to help you and give you good advice to help overcome these sins?

If I were you I would search for one.
I think today some parish priests would be happy just hearing confessions on Easter and Christmas. Very sad.

As far as dying only God knows that answer. Was it a perfect contrition? Are there past sins that may still be lingering that you have never confessed? Did you make amends throughout your life?
Personally I want to die a martyr then I know for sure I will get that free ride to heaven. I just need to pray for the grace.

Remember confession is to help us grow in our spiritual life. I was once told never to use confession like a bandaid.
Because I am a regularly go to confession, I have heard just about everything.

Just a kind word of advice next time don’t post your sins.They should always remain between you and God!🙂
 
I’d like to die a martyr too if it could be a quick death. I’m not too enthused about being tortured prior to death.

I’m such a weenie. 😦
 
Maybe this priest thinks that you keep going to confession b/c you have a mortal sin to confess but you get in the confessional and chicken out.If at all possible I would seek out a priest for a spiritual director. He could absolve you from your sins and help you work out a plan to get you break some bad habits. Maybe a good young priest that may have more time than a pastor.
As far as the death thing goes I would imagine that most of us if we died right after confession would still need some purification of our will before meeting God in all His glory.
 
Dr. Bombay:
I’d like to die a martyr too if it could be a quick death. I’m not too enthused about being tortured prior to death.

I’m such a weenie. 😦
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Me Too!! 🙂

And I agree with Lorik about the likely need for additional purification, especially for the sins I confess repeatedly. Obviously I’m attached to them in some perverse way, or I wouldn’t persist in continuing them.

I strongly recommend you find a new confessor and when you find a priest who can listen appropriately to your confession, stick to him, if possible use him also for Spiritual Direction. I once went to confession and had an awful experience and it really shook me until my pastor returned from vacation and I was able to discuss the situation with him. I was confirmed that I did NOT need to even accept the penance the previous confessor assigned and that by confessing my having not accepted that penance (which I hadn’t done, as it was suggesting further sin) I was off the hook. I rather should have told him at the time that I was Not going to take his absolution, but I didn’t realize I could do such a thing, and have been trying to be obedient to the Church, so I really wasn’t thinking in those terms.

But anyway, the point is, not all confessors are equal. Keep looking, you deserve better.

God Bless,

CARose
 
Well…Just because many people…maybe most…fail in these ways does not take away from the fact that they are sins…Doesn’t make much sense to me…Maybe you need to find another confessor.
 
Dr. Bombay:
I’d like to die a martyr too if it could be a quick death. I’m not too enthused about being tortured prior to death.

I’m such a weenie. 😦
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:rotfl: So am I but I still pray that God gives me the grace!
 
Dr. Bombay:
I dunno. Those sound like real sins to me. I’d find another confessor if you can. I don’t see how he could possibly diagnose depression by speaking to a penitent for 2 minutes.

You did the right thing. You confessed and he absolved. Time to move on.
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I suspect he has some training in psychology. They seem to fit the observation “*To a man with a hammer, every problem is a nail.”

*I went to a confessor once who was also a licensed counselor, and only once. He was quite vehemently against devotional confessions or confessions by those who wished the grace of the sacrament.

Fortunately he also had a tendency to give public psychological evaluations of his superiors; so his stay was short.😃
 
Seems to me from the catechism that a mortal sin requires:

The object is grave matter
It is committed with full knowledge
It is done with deliberate consent

and a venial requires

When one does not observe God’s law in a less serious matter
When one did not have full knowledge or give full consent in a grave matter

So the sins you listed, unless you did them deliberately and with forethought and malice. You have to ask yourself, were they sins?

If you recognize the problem with your action after the fact I don’t know if it counts as a sin. Yes, you feel bad, yes you are sorry, and you should ask for God’s help into keeping you from doing them, but unless you meet the requirements for sin, then is there really is a need for reconcilliation?
 
I think we all need confession as surely we are all sinners. I heard Father John Corapi once talk about someone who said they had no sins. He asked them about the first commandment to love God with our whole heart mind and soul ( sorry forgot the exact phrase). It wouldn’t be a mortal sin if we didn’t but tried to. If we go to confession and say we have gossiped and say an act of contrition and mean it and the next day gossip again then it would be a venial sin. The late Pope John Paul II went to confession every week I think.
I get such grace from going and couldn’t live without it!
 
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anonymoususer:
Ok, here is my scenario…

I the priest seemed very rude; he asked me “do you have any real sins to confess?”

I said “none other than these.” he basically said that everyone fails to do these things, and that I was depressed. he absolved me, prescribed my penance, and I moved on.

was it not necessary to go to confession? was the priest rude, or am i over reacting?

one other question: if a person died of natural causes or accident immediately after confession, would they skip purgatory?
Click to expand...
you go to confession to the priest because he is the one called and ordained to stand in the person of Christ. You follow his counsel and advice because he is the one representing Christ. That description does not hold for an anonymous internet forum. On-line confessions are forbidden in any case. The place to catalog your sings is in the confessional, never here. You are doing damage to your spiritual life by second-guessing the priest and asking for criticism of his words in the sacrament.

The very worst thing you can do is deny the reality of this sacrament by submitting your confession to scrutiny by outsiders. Either you accept the sacrament, or you don’t. To scrutinize it in this way, in such a forum, is to reject it. Please confine your confession to its proper place and time, with the proper person, ideally the same priest all the time. To do otherwise poses a grave danger to you.
 
I must be missing something. I did not do an on-line confession. Is it unreasonable to question the manner in which a sacrament is given? So, just by chance, if at my next confession, I say something terrible, and the penance prescribed by the priest is to jump off a bridge, I shouldn’t question that? What am I missing here?

“you go to confession to the priest because he is the one called and ordained to stand in the person of Christ.”

I agree

“You follow his counsel and advice because he is the one representing Christ.”

I agree

“That description does not hold for an anonymous internet forum.”

Not sure what that means. Does this mean I shouldn’t look to the anonymous posters on this board to prescribe penance? If that is what you mean, I agree.

“On-line confessions are forbidden in any case.”

Disagree. Forbidden is the wrong word. Insert invalid. Besides, I didn’t do this. I made my confession in person to a priest.

“The place to catalog your sings is in the confessional, never here.”

Not sure what that means.

“You are doing damage to your spiritual life by second-guessing the priest and asking for criticism of his words in the sacrament.”

Disagree. Read my comments that I opened this post with.

“The very worst thing you can do is deny the reality of this sacrament by submitting your confession to scrutiny by outsiders.”

Disagree. The worst thing I can do is not believe in the sacrament, period.

“Either you accept the sacrament, or you don’t.”

Agree. I accept it. My problem is not the sacrament. My problem is the opinion of the priest that my sins are not worth confessing. That is equivalent to going to the barber, asking for a haircut, and the barber saying, “you don’t need a haircut!”

“To scrutinize it in this way, in such a forum, is to reject it.”

Disagree. So, what that means, is that scrutiny of any sacrament, in any way, is to reject it, is this what you are saying? So, what that means, if that is what you are saying, is that a priest can do anything, and there can be no consequence. I don’t agree with this.

“Please confine your confession to its proper place and time, with the proper person, ideally the same priest all the time.”

I agree that confession should be with the same priest every time. However, at my parish, there are 3 priests, and you never know which one you get when you walk behind the curtain. Should it be like the barber shop, where I wait for the person I want?

I agree that confessions should be held in the appropriate place, at the appropriate time, and with the appropriate person.

“To do otherwise poses a grave danger to you.”

How? Will God frown upon me because I questioned the priest? Oh well, I am sure he will forgive!

I forgive!

🙂
 
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anonymoususer:
Ok, here is my scenario…

I typically go to confession every saturday morning. i went on the morning of feb 18. I did something stupid on that night which required a confession on monday morning. I went back to confession on saturday the 25th (today). I was pretty hard on myself on the monday confession, and the priest tried to tell me it wasn’t that big of a deal, stop moping.

I had the same priest today as last monday. the sins I confessed were…

father I have failed…

to love you with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind
to love my neighbor as myself
to honor the sabbath
to be generous to the poor

unfaithful to my spouse in thought
used foul language
i think that was it…

the priest seemed very rude; he asked me “do you have any real sins to confess?”

I said “none other than these.” he basically said that everyone fails to do these things, and that I was depressed. he absolved me, prescribed my penance, and I moved on.

was it not necessary to go to confession? was the priest rude, or am i over reacting?

one other question: if a person died of natural causes or accident immediately after confession, would they skip purgatory?
Click to expand...
Making a confession means confessing real sins. I have failed to love my neighbor as myself is not specific. “I shoveled the snow from my driveway into my neighbor’s cleared-out parking space” tells what you did in a way that makes clear the degree of your selfishness.

“Foul language?” What’s that? “I used the name of Jesus like a curse word when the lawn mower wouldn’t start.”

“I entertained sexual fanatasies about a woman I work with.”
 
Our wonderful Pastor had a homily which this priest should remember. The Sacrament is only a Sacrament when a penitent comes. Without someone to confess, there is no grace. The Priest sits there and nothing goes on.

Each of us is called to confession. Whether it is to receive the forgiveness of mortal sins or the grace to overcome our venial sins.

There is no reason why any Catholic cannot go to confession with venial sins. I think maybe the Priest had a bad day. He is human too.
 
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anonymoususer:
I must be missing something. I did not do an on-line confession. Is it unreasonable to question the manner in which a sacrament is given?
Click to expand...
OP gave a list of sins he confessed, and then criticized the manner of the priest in the confessional. If that is not an on-line confession what is?

I repeated the advice that has been given to me and which is given by classical spiritual directors. You do not rehash your confession outside with others. It stays with the priest. Choose one priest to confess to, stay with him, go as often as he suggests and follow is counsel. It is spiritually dangerous to get in the habit of replaying your confession with outsiders and second guessing the priests. It is not helpful for well-meaning persons to offer advice like “get another priest.” confession is a sacrament with rules and rubrics, not a group effort to be conducted through an internet forum. I am not being critical or attacking I am offering sound advice for your welfare.

I strongly urge you to consult sound spirtual writers like Fr. Groeschel, Fr. Thomas Dubay, or the classical ones like St. Francis DeSales and St. John of the Cross if you take issue with this advice.
 
Similar thing happeend to me. I went to confession wit three things that were tearing me apart. When i go done the Priest smiled and said “thats it???”
 
Ok, yes it is always a great thing and a very special time to go to confession. It is never wrong to do it. We all sin every day in various ways, and as normal often we can’t remember alot of specifics.

Next your priest should be just as excited that you want to come to confessoin. but remember he is human also, and perhaps the way he acted in your confession will be his confession in the morning for him. Just as you have a bad day, he may have turned over his coffee, burnt his toast. Maybe the Bishop just had a discussion with him. Perhaps he was feeling bad.
You may never know. But also priests are there to council you and the idea is that they can though confession help guide you also. If you know the priest, why not go talk to him. Yes sounds scarey, breaks all of the “rules” but why not ask him if you offended him, or was he feeling bad. The priest wants you to want to come to confession (they really do)

And believe me, we can offend people, As an administator now more than actually working daily with people, I am more of a manager now so I get somewhat “bossy” and all the sins that go along with it. So I often say something that I really don’t mean to mean anything but someone will want to take it another way.
(or even worst someone will try to twist those words to merely cause trouble)

But the local parish priest should be a close friend who you can talk to about any and everything. I have been saddend to see this type of relationship not the standard any longer
 
I once had a priest refuse to give me absolution telling me that he would absolve me of my sins if he thought that there was something to absolve. I made it a point to never go back to him again.
 
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