Confession/Old Ways/Mortal Sin

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DevotedCatholic

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I have trouble with confession like most people and struggle somewhat with it, I hear and read all kind of things about the faith and somethings that people have experienced. Some good and some bad. I have read various columns and studied the Examination of Conscience and the 10 Commandments which we know is really important. I have been a convert for almost three years and often revert back to my old ways from when I was practicing in my previous faith. I right now struggle with the fact that it is not enough since I am a member of the catholic church and have to adjust to my new faith.

My biggest hang up is Mortal Sin, however I am not sure if not attending confession once a year is a Mortal Sin and I am afraid to ask a priest in and outside the confessional. I have heard to ask and then I have heard you cant ask a question like that. Anyone have an idea of what should do about this situation. I haven’t been to confession in over a year and really struggling. I can no longer hold off going and making excuses for my actions.

I know the priest is there to help and to guide but since I haven’t been back in such a great deal of time I am not sure what I am doing wrong and which direction I need to be in. I do experience some should pain like aches and pains but I wonder if it is something more like the spiritual turning into the physical because of the weight of a persons sins. Is it possible something like that to occur, anyone else experienced this?

have I really committed a Mortal Sin and didn’t know it?

what can I do better to grow and practice the faith better.
 
We all struggle with confession, but, after we go, we feel an immense relief and are very glad that we did.

The devil hates confession, and will use whatever argument he can to keep you from going. You haven’t been for more than a year? - then you’ve left it for too long. You’ve been recently? - then you shouldn’t go again so soon. You’re not sure what to say? - well, Father will be cross at you for wasting his time.You know what to say? - then Father will think you’re not truly repentant. And, of course, the “big one” - your sins are just too bad, and Father will think you are a terrible person.

Just go, and put any concerns you have before the priest.

I always advise people that, if they are having a lot of trouble going to confession, to go to another parish, or the Cathedral, so that you can see an anonymous priest. There is no need to fear your own priest, but it is also a natural human reaction, so, if you are really worried, then see another priest.
 
DevotedCatholic said:
I have trouble with confession like most people and struggle somewhat with it, I hear and read all kind of things about the faith and somethings that people have experienced. Some good and some bad. I have read various columns and studied the Examination of Conscience and the 10 Commandments which we know is really important. I have been a convert for almost three years and often revert back to my old ways from when I was practicing in my previous faith. I right now struggle with the fact that it is not enough since I am a member of the catholic church and have to adjust to my new faith.

My biggest hang up is Mortal Sin, however I am not sure if not attending confession once a year is a Mortal Sin and I am afraid to ask a priest in and outside the confessional. I have heard to ask and then I have heard you cant ask a question like that. Anyone have an idea of what should do about this situation. I haven’t been to confession in over a year and really struggling. I can no longer hold off going and making excuses for my actions.

I know the priest is there to help and to guide but since I haven’t been back in such a great deal of time I am not sure what I am doing wrong and which direction I need to be in. I do experience some should pain like aches and pains but I wonder if it is something more like the spiritual turning into the physical because of the weight of a persons sins. Is it possible something like that to occur, anyone else experienced this?

have I really committed a Mortal Sin and didn’t know it?

what can I do better to grow and practice the faith better.
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Hello Devoted. You have already taken the first step forward. You are asking. Good for you. I would first advise you to go to confession at least every two weeks, or at the minimum once a month. Reconciliation is a step toward a reconciliation with God. There is nothing to fear about telling “anything” to a priest in the confessional. They listen to you, guide you, then forget completely what you said. The priest is an intermediary for Chirst. He is the representative of Christ here on earth. The priest would not have the power to forgive, if this power was not given to him by Christ. Christ knows all that we do. What we need to do is take responsibility for what we have, or haven’t done and talk to Christ through the ear of His priests. Many graces are given through the act of confession. The more you go, the more graces you will receive.

At the very minumum, the Church requires we Catholics to go to Confession at least once a year, especially at Easter Time. But by going only once a year, we fail to take advantage of the love Christ is offering and the opportunity to grow closer to Him.

Go now, talk with your priest. Get guidance. Explain your confusion. Christ and His priest will understand. 👍
 
Dear DevotedCatholic,

I sympathize with your dilemma and will keep you in my prayers. In my spiritual journey, I have experienced similar feelings to the ones you have described along with many other disquieting emotions. This usually happens when I have been away from the confessional for some time. Once I do go confession, all the doubts, questions, troubles and anxieties I had felt vanished. The Grace God bestows on us during this sacrament is amazing. I even feel foolish afterwards and wonder why I ever had them in the first place.

Keep in mind, that there is no type or amount of sin that God is not willing to forgive a contrite soul. Like His love, His mercy is infinite. In my experience, the spiritual restlessness you are feeling may be a symptom that something is missing, lacking or obstructing your quest to get closer to God. These feelings are actually a good thing because they are letting us know something is wrong. Consider them as our own personal spiritual alarm. When I feel this way, I know it is time to go to confession. Just as when we exhibit a series of physical symptoms we seek a doctor’s aid, when we are troubled spiritually we should seek help from our parish priest or spiritual director. If you don’t feel comfortable opening up to your parish priest go to another parish. It is very important that you go confession and talk about your feelings. Even if you don’t have mortal sins, the graces you receive during absolution provide the strength that is needed to avoid sin, clarifies ones mind and rids the soul of its darkness. Any reluctance, doubts, or worries that may arise about going confession is not coming from God but from the one who has a vested interest in keeping you away from the sacrament that reconciles you with God. Don’t over think it, just go and find peace.

Jesus knew we would struggle in our faith so he gave us the sacraments, his church, our Mother Mary and so much more. I would recommend you make monthly visits to the confessional, pray frequently before the Blessed Sacrament, go to mass and receive the Eucharist at least on Sundays, do daily examinations of conscience, ask for the Blessed Virgin’s intersession, and make time for private prayer.

Finally, I would also suggest that if you have not already done so join a prayer/church community or bible study group. Being part of a spiritual community helps us grow, keeps us on track and picks us up when we fall. Think of the gospel story of the paralyzed man (Lk 5: 17-20) who is carried by his friends and lowered from the roof to be healed by Jesus. The man was unable to go by himself so he needed the help of others to aid him to get to Jesus. At times, we too can become spiritually paralyzed and need the help of others to get to Jesus so we may be restored to full spiritual, mental and physical health.
 
We cannot commit a mortal sin if we don’t know its a sin. Period.

Guilt over our transgressions is a very good thing. That is a signal our conscience is working just fine. Some people fear going to the dentist, even though we all know it is necessary if we want to avoid pain down the road if our teeth start to decay. Some people fear going to a doctor,even though we all know it is necessary in order to avoid pain and suffering needlessly from things like high blood pressure/strokes, etc.
So, some people fear going to confession even though we all know how much God loves us and how much mercy He has for us. The grace we receive through this sacrament is an important part of our spiritual growth and prevents decay of our morals, needless suffering from making poor choices, using our feelings to live by instead of relying on God’s help.
I know from personal experience…the longer one stays away from the confessional, the stronger the voice of the evil one becomes in convincing us we either don’t “need” to go or that our sins are so bad we can’t be forgiven. So, go quickly and ask any questions that you have, nothing is out of order between you and God; priests do the work of Jesus so pray a Divine Mercy Chaplet and just go! :signofcross:
 
To those of you who have responded to me so far thank you for the advice. coming from a previous faith the biggest besides knowing the difference in Mortal and Venial sin is telling all my wrong doings to a priest. I didn’t know until some time ago that I could see another priest for confession and or spiritual direction.

would it be best to express my concerns and the confusion I face with the priest before I go to confession or does it really matter? Anything else that can be provided will be of help as well. I am currently working on the Rosary and Prayers to the Saints.I am not really familiar with these either.
 
DevotedCatholic said:
would it be best to express my concerns and the confusion I face with the priest before I go to confession
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I am so happy that you have made the first step, of resolving to go to confession, and then of sharing your problems here.

Absolutely, you can express your concerns and confusion with the priest, and can do so at the start of the confession. So that he can give you sufficient time, I suggest that, if possible, you either arrive 10 minutes early for confession (to be first in the queue) and/or, if possible, pick a confession time which is not immediately before mass (eg. not the 5:00 pm confession before 5:30 mass).

All that is required of you is to: present yourself to a priest for confession; beforehand, make **some **examination of conscience, asking Jesus to illuminate in your mind what you should confess; and, admit to the priest that you are unsure of what sins to confess (you need this last one, otherwise the priest may assume that your tentative confession is complete). If you are still unsure, then just enter the confessional, and tell the priest that you are not sure how to make a good confession, and ask him to guide you. Certainly, don’t worry about the form of the confession at all - the priest will guide you through that.

Jesus is yearning to embrace and forgive you, like the father of the prodigal son

http://sesnaperville.org/sesmain/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Rembrandt-Prodigal-Son_20.jpg
 
Edmundus1581 said:
We all struggle with confession, but, after we go, we feel an immense relief and are very glad that we did.

The devil hates confession, and will use whatever argument he can to keep you from going. You haven’t been for more than a year? - then you’ve left it for too long. You’ve been recently? - then you shouldn’t go again so soon. You’re not sure what to say? - well, Father will be cross at you for wasting his time.You know what to say? - then Father will think you’re not truly repentant. And, of course, the “big one” - your sins are just too bad, and Father will think you are a terrible person.

Just go, and put any concerns you have before the priest.

I always advise people that, if they are having a lot of trouble going to confession, to go to another parish, or the Cathedral, so that you can see an anonymous priest. There is no need to fear your own priest, but it is also a natural human reaction, so, if you are really worried, then see another priest.
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Edmund I would think if anything the priest would be wondering why I was gone away for so long and explaining my fear. for one thing I had a regular confessor like most Catholics however a situation two years ago forced me to rethink about that. I was also in a comfort zone. I am not so sure a priest would be cross at me. I believe that a priest can tell when a person is repentant or not. I think expressing lack of ability to keep going would be okay. In the Catechism of the Catholic Church I believe it states how a priest is supposed to act to penitents. Which includes tone of voice and expression of concern should it be necessary. Which in any case I think it would be.
 
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