Confession Panic

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UKCatholic87

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Hello everyone,

I’m new here and joined because I would really welcome some advice and an objective view about an incident that happened to me today during confession. I do suffer with anxiety but have always found that my time in church is the most calming and peaceful time of my week. But today, I was in the confessional when mid-confession I had a panic attack. Instead of speaking up and telling the priest what was happening, I zoned out completely and don’t really remember what was said other than that I was in the depths of a major panic.

I heard my penance and went out into the church but then immediately the panic got worse. So I pretty much ran into the confessional next to the one I had been in to talk to the other priest because I felt embarrassed talking to the same priest. I garbled an explanation and the priest told me not to worry, that I had been absolved and that I should try to find calm but then the whole way through the subsequent Mass I was in a total blind panic until I received the Eucharist. Then I felt instantly calm and “the fog” began to lift.

But now, a few hours after the event, I feel terrible. I’m so ashamed of my undignified behaviour. I feel that I put the 2nd priest in a very difficult situation and that I may have committed a mortal sin in spending the entire Mass un-focused and trying to shut down the panic in my mind. I feel as if I abused the confessional by turning it into some kind of therapy. Which wasn’t my intention, it was mid-panic attack and it just felt natural to run to a safe place where I’ve only ever felt love and peace.

Could anyone advise me on what they think I should do? I know that what we say in confession is sacrosanct and that it would never be spoken about my priest or that he would hold my odd behaviour against me, but I can’t shake this feeling that I should apologise for putting him in an awkward situation.

Any help would be gratefully received!
 
Only a priest, I think, would be able to give you a 100 percent reliable answer. Fr. @InThePew? Fr. @edward_george1?

My personal impression, just as a layman, is that the priests you spoke to have almost certainly seen this kind of thing before and have probably been taught how to deal with situations of that kind.
 
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I don’t think you have a single thing to worry about here. Be at peace, and do your best to move on.
Dominus vobiscum
 
UKCatholic87 said:
But now, a few hours after the event, I feel terrible. I’m so ashamed of my undignified behaviour. I feel that I put the 2nd priest in a very difficult situation and that I may have committed a mortal sin in spending the entire Mass un-focused and trying to shut down the panic in my mind
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  1. Don’t be ashamed. It happens. The priests have probably seen it before. I had confession anxiety very badly for years. I finally stopped going for 18 years and when I forced myself to go again I had to have a shot of whiskey and go at 6 am because between those two things (I’m not a morning person) I was too tired to have anxiety.
  2. Please stop worrying about your confession. The second priest told you to stop worrying. Do as Father said and stop.
  3. If you are having this on more than a one-time basis, please consider getting some help from a medical professional.
  4. It sounds like Jesus in the Eucharist helped you. This is good. Apart from the spiritual help, from a physical perspective it could also suggest a blood sugar issue. Again, please see a medical professional.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
If you are having this on more than a one-time basis, please consider getting some help from a medical professional.
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And best to discuss it, even as a single event, with your doctor. You may be referred to someone who can coach you in dealing with panic attacks or there may be some other treatment. There is nothing ‘undignified’ about a panic attack. People have them. Every other person has problems too.
 
You think my God would send you to hell if you died with what happened and you think you are in mortal sin? Can you logically or theologically back your thinking?
 
Thankyou for all your very kind replies. They’ve helped to put things in perspective. I feel much calmer about the situation and as some of you suggested, I think I do need to seek help to get the anxiety under control. I don’t think I’m strong enough alone to deal with it, as much as I’d like to be!

redcatholic, your reply perhaps clarified things most in my mind. Putting it that way, you’re quite right. I think God saw my suffering in that moment and would never punish me for it. But sometimes, we punish ourselves more perhaps?
 
UKCatholic87 said:
Could anyone advise me on what they think I should do? I know that what we say in confession is sacrosanct and that it would never be spoken about my priest or that he would hold my odd behaviour against me, but I can’t shake this feeling that I should apologise for putting him in an awkward situation.
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Move on and be at peace. The priest will have encountered many strange (and stranger) things before. There is definitely nothing sinful in your action; people treat the confessional as a therapy session all the time (I’m not saying that’s how it should be just how it is). If this happens again while your part-way through the sacrament, tell the priest what’s happening (mind reading skills unfortunately aren’t given at ordination).
 
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