Confession -- Please Help!

Teencatholic44 · Dec 30, 2010

Hello, I’m a 14 year old guy and I’m going to be going to my 3rd confession ever in 2 days (on january 1st to start the new year with a clean slate). I know I should go to confession more often and I am working on that but it has been something like 5 years since my last confession, and I have a few questions on what and how to confess some of my sins.

First of all I have sadly gotten into the habit of masturbation. I did it quite frequently for about a year and a half and now, knowing its a mortal sin (well in some circumstances, but lets not get into that

), I wish to stop the habit and confess it. I usually read erotic literature in order to masturbate and I was wondering how to confess that. I know I can say “I have committed the sin of masturbation.” But should I also say “I have committed the sin of reading erotic literature”? Or should I rephrase that somehow? Also I don’t know if this would be considered pornography, but once I looked at pictures of woman with very revealing clothes on (they were not naked). Would this be considered porn? I don’t want to make it sound like i looked at it frequently as I said before it really only happened once or twice (the literature was the most common thing). How should I confess this in order for the priest to understand it wasn’t an addiction, but still a sin I’m quite sorry for?

Thanks in advanced everyone… God Bless and please pray for me to have strength to make a good and pure confession.

baltobetsy · Dec 30, 2010

How great that you’ve decided to begin the new year in such a way!

You know, you don’t have to be all formal in the way you confess your sins. I would advise that you tell the priest exactly what you said in your post. A conversational style is really just fine. Just be honest and sorry. That’s all you need!

God bless you!

Scoobyshme · Dec 30, 2010

Teencatholic44 said:
Hello, I’m a 14 year old guy and I’m going to be going to my 3rd confession ever in 2 days (on january 1st to start the new year with a clean slate). I know I should go to confession more often and I am working on that but it has been something like 5 years since my last confession, and I have a few questions on what and how to confess some of my sins.

First of all I have sadly gotten into the habit of masturbation. I did it quite frequently for about a year and a half and now, knowing its a mortal sin (well in some circumstances, but lets not get into that ), I wish to stop the habit and confess it. I usually read erotic literature in order to masturbate and I was wondering how to confess that. I know I can say “I have committed the sin of masturbation.” But should I also say “I have committed the sin of reading erotic literature”? Or should I rephrase that somehow? Also I don’t know if this would be considered pornography, but once I looked at pictures of woman with very revealing clothes on (they were not naked). Would this be considered porn? I don’t want to make it sound like i looked at it frequently as I said before it really only happened once or twice (the literature was the most common thing). How should I confess this in order for the priest to understand it wasn’t an addiction, but still a sin I’m quite sorry for?

Thanks in advanced everyone… God Bless and please pray for me to have strength to make a good and pure confession.

Hey, dude! Good to see you going to Confession to clean up your soul!

Barbkw · Dec 30, 2010

catholicparents.org/oxcart/Examination%20of%20Conscience.pdf

This examination of conscience, written by Fr. Altier, a spiritual director will be helpful.

He first lists the mortal sins (and he gives helpful descriptions and guides) pages 1-4.

Then, he lists the venial sins, pages 4-9.

FrRobertJCarr · Dec 30, 2010

There is an old saying about priests hearing confessions, if you tell them something they have not heard, you get a gold watch. I am sure that, unless the priest is newly ordained, he has heard such sins before. (So looks like you don’t get the gold watch

) So do not so much as worry about how you say it as much as that you confess it in a way he will understand. (i.e.“I read pornographic literature and engaged in masturbation.”) then whatever other sins you have committed and allow him to counsel you in response.

Some things to note, first you seek to start the year anew by going to confession. That is the Holy Spirit working in your life. Second you have the grace of being aware of sin, that is also the Holy Spirit working in your life. So rejoice in your intentions and the grace behind them.

Finally, Both St. Pio of Pietroclina (aka Padre Pio) and St John Vianney had the grace of being able to sense any sins not confessed. I always pray to them before every confession that I make a good confession. (Yes, we go to confession too) I could suggest that to you as well.

edjco · Dec 30, 2010

Simply tell the priest that you have had lustful thoughts and deeds.
Trust me, he will know what that means. If he needs clarification, he will ask.

In fact, when he sees a 14 year old boy walk in the confessional, and that young man doesn’t confess that particular sin, the priest may have a stroke.

That’s not to say that masturbation is ok, it is not. It is, however something that I’m sure most boys your age bring up at confession, because almost all young men your age struggle with it.

As to the erotic literature, you can simply say that; or, you can tell him that you read something that caused you to have lustful thoughts. Remember the “near occasion of sin” part." Stay away from ANYTHING that tends to lead you to sin.

As to your seeing women with very revealing clothes, I don’t see how anyone nowadays could avoid that. It’s everywhere. The difference is what you do with that mental image. If you start to imagine having sex with her, you are in lust territory.

When you start to have lustful thoughts, immediately ask God to grant you purity in your thoughts:
“God, please help me to keep my thoughts pure.”

That’s a pretty good way to break the habit.

Teencatholic44 · Dec 30, 2010

Edjco –

As to your seeing women with very revealing clothes, I don’t see how anyone nowadays could avoid that. It’s everywhere. The difference is what you do with that mental image. If you start to imagine having sex with her, you are in lust territory.

But I looked up the image purposefully… again this has happened only once or twice but how should I confess it…?

FrRobertJCarr –

Finally, Both St. Pio of Pietroclina (aka Padre Pio) and St John Vianney had the grace of being able to sense any sins not confessed. I always pray to them before every confession that I make a good confession. (Yes, we go to confession too) I could suggest that to you as well.

I will definitely pray to them, thanks for the tip

Scoobyshme – I listened to two of the mp3 files (didn’t have enough time to listen to all of them

) but they were very helpful. Thank you so much.

Barbkw – Thanks this helped clear up that it truly was a sin

baltobetsy – Can’t wait to get it off my chest

Thanks to everyone that replied… truly helped me feel more comfortable and helped me decide how I will confess the sins… Thanks so much everyone… good to see that there is such a great support of catholics here as asking these questions to my dad – who is a great catholic would have just been awkward

… Thanks again!

PowderBear · Jan 1, 2011

edjco said:
If you start to imagine having sex with her, you are in lust territory.

“lust territory” starts before that. It is when you entertain **any **impure desire towards another person, not just sex.

treadhead · Jan 10, 2011

You are headed in the right direction. I think that you have a better moral compass than many three times your age. The priest will not look at you dirisively when you confess that particuar sin, nor any other. He will look upon you as a penitent soul who seeks forgiveness from the Lord.

Elizabeth502 · Jan 10, 2011

Fr., thanks for another great post from you, and particularly this part will can benefit all of us:

FrRobertJCarr said:
Finally, Both St. Pio of Pietroclina (aka Padre Pio) and St John Vianney had the grace of being able to sense any sins not confessed. I always pray to them before every confession that I make a good confession. (Yes, we go to confession too) I could suggest that to you as well.

I, too, will try that before my next confession.
God Bless You.

joandarc2008 · Jan 10, 2011

Good luck - just one point to point out to you is that it is one of the precepts that you make confession at least once a year so you will need to add that too.

Confession -- Please Help!

Teencatholic44

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baltobetsy

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edjco

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