Confession - please help

[Tannhauser]

F for example one confesses having had sex with somebody, outside of marriage (not adultery); are we obligated to specify the sex of the person…? I cannot imagine that it makes very much difference in respect of our confession being whole and accurate or not, but would like to clarify.

Thank-you

 

[PerfectTiming]

It depends. If it is heterosexual intercourse then no because there is just one sin being committed, that of pre-marital sex. However, if it is homosexual intercourse then there is the additional sin of homosexual activity so you would have to confess to both pre-marital sex and having homosexual intercourse. The confession would be invalid if you purposely left out that it was homosexual because it is a mortal sin.

 

[puzzleannie]

F for example one confesses having had sex with somebody, outside of marriage (not adultery); are we obligated to specify the sex of the person…? I cannot imagine that it makes very much difference in respect of our confession being whole and accurate or not, but would like to clarify.

Thank-you

you must confess the sin by its proper name, or describe what you did. yes that includes the sex of the person you were with, and obviously whether or not you are married, or consecrated in religious life, are also factors that must be stated.

 

[paul_c]

Let me give you some general advice. Confession is for your benefit, not the priest and not for God. When you confess something sacramentally, you are recognizing that you have fallen from Grace through sin and you are expressing the desire to be reconciled to God. This means that you are truly repentent, desire to sin no more and that you expect to make reperations for the harm you have done to your relationship with God.

Having said that, if your conscience is telling you to come clean with the details, it is doing that for a reason: most likely because you need to come fully to grips with what you have done to move forward. Don’t worry about the priest judging you, he won’t. He’s an instrument of Christ’s mercy and he will be very supportive if you are truly contrite. However, if he senses that you are lying to him, he does have the option of withholding absolution, because absolution is only for the truly pennetent…

 

[Thomas_Aquinas_1]

F for example one confesses having had sex with somebody, outside of marriage (not adultery); are we obligated to specify the sex of the person…? I cannot imagine that it makes very much difference in respect of our confession being whole and accurate or not, but would like to clarify.

Thank-you

If the person is of the same sex, it changes the nature of the act. Fornication with someone of the opposite sex is different than with someone of the same sex. The former, although sinful, is in accord with the nature of the act; while the latter is contrary to nature. Therefore, if the act was with someone of the same sex, that detail must be confessed.

Embarrasing as it is, the Priest has heard it before. The best thing to do is confess it and move on.

 

[Tannhauser]

If we have done this in error (not mentioned if something is homosexual in nature), and then confess the fact that we have forgotten this, are we then obligated to let every priest know where something has been homosexual in nature?

 

[paul_c]

If we have done this in error (not mentioned if something is homosexual in nature), and then confess the fact that we have forgotten this, are we then obligated to let every priest know where something has been homosexual in nature?

No, its not about the priests - its about you. You just need to confess it now to the current priest and then make your best effort not to sin again.

 

[Thomas_Aquinas_1]

If we have done this in error (not mentioned if something is homosexual in nature), and then confess the fact that we have forgotten this, are we then obligated to let every priest know where something has been homosexual in nature?

If you really didn’t know you were supposed to confess the sex of the other person, all you have to do is confess this at your next confession. What I mean is, say "bless me Father for I have sinned. I committed such and such act (number of times) since my last confession. I have also committed this act (number of times) in the past (I would then include the time frame, such as “over the course of two years), but I didn’t know it was necessaryto mention the sex of the other person. I confessed fornication, but did not mention that it was with someone of the same sex”.

That should take care of it.

If you did know you were supposed to mention the sex of the other person during your prior confessions (or if you suspected you were), and you did not do so, the confessions were likely invalid. To take care of this, what you need to do is make a general confession, beginning from the time of your last good confesson (which was before you committed the act that was not confessed completely). A general confession is a good thing to do from time to time anyway, so it wouldn’t be a bad idea to make a general confession. BTW, a general confession is where you confess all of your sins covering a certain period of time.

The main thing is to let the Priest know about the circumstances that are concerning you in confession, and he should be able to guide you.

Don’t forget that God’s mercy is great. You are doing a good thing by inquiring into this matter to ensure that your confession is complete. God is pleased with these efforts, and is waiting to forgive you in confession.