Confession problem

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luvchrist4ever

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So I try to go to confession about once a month, but everytime I go in I get so flustered having to tell a staranger my sins (I have to go to a different parish for confession since the times work better, so I don’t really know the priests) that I forget half the stuff I want to say and don’t really go into much detail. I almost feel like I have to write myself a script. Does anyone else have problems with this? Any advice how to get over this? Thanks!
 
So I try to go to confession about once a month, but everytime I go in I get so flustered having to tell a staranger my sins (I have to go to a different parish for confession since the times work better, so I don’t really know the priests) that I forget half the stuff I want to say and don’t really go into much detail. I almost feel like I have to write myself a script of what I want to say. Does anyone else have problems with this? Any advice how to get over this? Thanks!
 
It is absolutely fine to make a list, and to take along a guide to Confession (in fact, many Parishes have a guide there available for use). My husband used to make his list on his handheld computer. I’ve used the guide to Confession in my son’s children’s missal 🙂

You will want to destroy the list after Confession 🙂

Another thing to remember, if you are more comfortable speaking with a specific Priest, call his Parish office and make an appointment for Confession.
 
😃 I write myself a script!😃

Seriously, I try to do an examination of conscience every night. I have a prayer journal that I use to write down my sins or struggles. Before going to confession I may re-write the sins in an easily read format (bullet points). I also bring along a copy of the Act of Contrition to read as well.

I am much like you and easily get flustered when speaking. It is worse when I know the priest 🤷 Unfortuanately all the priests in my area are getting to know me 😛 So, I use my cheat sheets. This helps me to focus on the sacramental aspect of confession and keeps me from being overly worried about my stutters and stammers. :rolleyes:
 
You are to be rewarded for your commitment to Reconciliation! You might try mentioning this to your confessor at next Confession. Ask him if you might not suffer from a teeny bit of scruples, maybe? And there have been times where I’ve forgotten what I wanted to confess, and in those instances I tell my confessor something like “and for the things I’m forgetting now and need to confess, I confess those also”.

❤️
 
Use a cheat sheet. 👍 I always have. There’s nothing more satisfying than tearing up the sheet with a sparkling clean soul! 😃
 
luvchrist4ever said:
So I try to go to confession about once a month, but everytime I go in I get so flustered having to tell a staranger my sins (I have to go to a different parish for confession since the times work better, so I don’t really know the priests) that I forget half the stuff I want to say and don’t really go into much detail. I almost feel like I have to write myself a script. Does anyone else have problems with this? Any advice how to get over this? Thanks!
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My advice would be to get a regular confessor, one that you know and that kows you, and go face to face. I used to have this problem when going anonymously to a strange priest, but now that I have been going to a priest that I know I don’t have that problem anymore. The fact that he knows me, and I know this sounds strange, makes me less flustered. He is more patient with me in helping me to remember my sins, and we really have the opportunity to focus on sins that may be a bit habitual.
 
luvchrist4ever said:
When you go to Confession, you are telling your sins to a priest who is representing Christ, you are not just going to any man.

If you forget your sins, make an examination of conscience and write them down, and confess them.

But that is strongly discouraged by the church. When you go to Confession, you should be telling the priest what is on your mind or what is bothering you. Or, simply ask him to help you make a Confession. He just doens’t want a grocery list of sins, but what is really bothering you.

But you should NEVER thik that you are confessing to a man, he represents CHRIST and the Holy Spirit will guide you as you confess your sins.

By one having always to write down his or her sins, this can cause scrupulosity meaning they are not sure if it is a sin or not.

Leave the matter in the hand’s of God because His Mercies are so GREAT in the confessional. Be at peace!
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luvchrist4ever:
So I try to go to confession about once a month, but everytime I go in I get so flustered … I almost feel like I have to write myself a script. Does anyone else have problems with this? … Thanks!
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Hi luvchrist4ever

If you search for the thread “Notes in Confession” you’ll see you are not the only one who feels they need notes at confession!

You’ll also see some interesting ideas of how to make sure notes/lists/scripts do not take away the spontaneity of confession and if you get a priest who doesn’t like people using notes, how to make sure they don’t realise you are using notes.

Too much of a script could take away the immediacy of confession but a list could make sure you don’t come away having forgotten some of you wanted/needed to confess.
 
I make a list as I do an examination of conscience then I might go back and rewrite - seeing if some things can be combined or fit easily together. If I just use a word or two, I can put it on a post-it note. Sometimes I “practice” what I am going to say. I usually have my list handy, but I don’t always need to refer to it.

No priest has ever told me not to make a list or that I’m doing confession the wrong way. One waited for me to get my list out of my pocket when my mind went blank and told me not to worry - that he gets flustered, too, when he goes to confession.

Sometimes I think I might just save my list for next time. 😉
 
acadian said:
Once you make a list of your sins, you should not have to go back to make sure if you covered everything. I know from experience, that some priests do not like it when you give them a “grocery lists” of sins. They want you to tell them what is on your mind and what is bothering you.

But, if the list helps, fine. But it is not necessary to go back over the list, God knows you and can read your heart and the Holy Spirit will guide you. The Sacrament of Confession is so POWERFUL that we can be forgiven of any sin as long as we express sorrow. The only sin that CANNOT be forgiven is the sin against the HOLY SPIRIT and this means that you think your sins are not forgiven or you do not believe they are forgiven.

One priest told me just by saying I have sinned against thought, word, deeds, omissions and actions. that your sins will be forgiven. I was also told NEVER go into detail, if the priest needs to know more, than he will ask you.
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luvchrist4ever said:
So I try to go to confession about once a month, but everytime I go in I get so flustered having to tell a staranger my sins !
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when you overcome this misapprehension about the sacrament, your dilemma will resolve itself. You are telling your sins to Jesus, being absolved by Him, making penance to unite yourself with his sufferings, and receiving his mercy in this sacrament. Jesus is present in the priest at this time, just as he is present in the Eucharist.
 
Salonika said:
Hi luvchrist4ever

If you search for the thread “Notes in Confession” you’ll see you are not the only one who feels they need notes at confession!

You’ll also see some interesting ideas of how to make sure notes/lists/scripts do not take away the spontaneity of confession and if you get a priest who doesn’t like people using notes, how to make sure they don’t realise you are using notes.

Too much of a script could take away the immediacy of confession but a list could make sure you don’t come away having forgotten some of you wanted/needed to confess.
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**Is there really a topic about notes in confession?

do you type in the search forum?

I sometime make a list and try to memorize it and then when I got confession I tear it up, if I even think of take it to confession with me I am not sure what my confessor would think, course I would not know only too know by his expression.

I guess there is no harm in cheating at your confession with the Priest.**
 
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CatholiCommit:
Is there really a topic about notes in confession?

do you type in the search forum?
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Yes, there is.

If the search doesn’t bring it up (and I have great trouble using it) the thread is entitled “Notes in Confession” and is in the Liturgy and Sacraments section. Last reply was on September 14 2008.

It’s interesting reading.
 
Genesis12345 said:
I was also told NEVER go into detail, if the priest needs to know more, than he will ask you.
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One has to go into enough detail so that the priest can access the seriousness of the sin. For example, if someone were to confess to stealing a dollar, in most cases that would be a venial sin but if it was stolen from a homeless person who needed every cent or from a church, then it would likely be a mortal sin.
 
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