confession problem

[Michael1985]

I went to confession today and I confessed that I failed to speak the truth to those who were living in serious sin, I had oppertunities and I didn’t use them well. The priest said this was not a sin.

Next I said I looked down on the imperfections of others in my head. He also said this was not a sin. He seemed quiet angry at this point like I was wasting his time.

I said that was all ( I had more to say but I thought this was going no where) and he absolved me without asking me to say an act of contrition.

It was not with my regular confessor, the priest may be in a parish where many people suffer from scruples. It’s true they were all venial sins but they still separate me from God and I want to overcome them. I don’t suffer from scruples, if anything I’m the opposite. I’m well aware of Church teaching on the matter and this won’t put me off the sacrament. I just feel really bad how a priest could treat the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

 

[Lancer]

You did the right thing for your conscience…and it sounds like you did your best to tell the priest what you were accusing yourself of…

Sad that he did not work with you to clarify what/why it is not sinful (in his mind)…and help you to “dig” a little deeper into your heart and mind to see what the underlying problem is with your judgment/conscience on the sins you confessed. Also, he could have given you an opportunity to say that you were sorry for some specific past sins (even though you have been and accepted God’s forgiveness)…to make a devotional confession with substantive matter for forgiveness.

My bottom line thought/advice is that the Lord Jesus knew what you were confessing and why…you clearly received his mercy and forgiveness…even if the priest acting in persona Christi…didn’t get it! Maybe discussing the particulars (of the sins) with a spiritual advisor priest will help you to discern the essence of the sins…and help you to overcome them.

Pax Christi

 

[cmscms]

I agree that Jesus saw your intention and will forgive you because your heart is in the right place.

As for the experience with this priest, I hate to say it but he seems like the majority of priests I have met. Sometimes I think the church has been so criticised for being narrow mindedly strict that priest feel they have to be push overs to bring people back. I wish priest could be man enough to say it like it is.

I use to confess sins to one priest who was always saying to me ‘What you did won’t kill you so don’t worry about it but smoking will kill you’ Where in the commandements is ‘thou shall not smoke’??? But I could find in the commandments ‘thou shall not …’ insert the sins I have done.

Pray that God will lead you to a good priest

CM

 

[Trishie]

The priest might have helped you more if he had said that a lack of charity to others in your thoughts does indicate sinfulness if not direct sin.
It is kind of you to believe he might have suffered the frustration dealing with the endless worries of those who seem incorrigibly scrupulous.
You are right to believe that you must work at eradicating uncharitable thoughts and judgements, that lead to possibility of uncharitable words or acts.
In any case the uncharitable intention or belief that is in the mind is also an offence to God.

 

[Student09]

I haven’t been to Confession yet because I’m a catechumen, but this is one of the things I’m afraid of - confessing something like that and being told it’s not a sin (because I know it is). St. Teresa of Jesus (Avila) writes in her autobiography that various confessors told her that sins which she considered to be mortal were only venial, and that sins which she considered to be venial were not sins at all. She felt that this led her into deeper sins because it encouraged her to disregard the venial sins, so that she fell away for a time and stopped praying, and then when she came back, she regretted that time for the rest of her life. I’m sure her conscience was so delicate and finely tuned that she picked up on things which really did not seem like sins to her confessors, who heard much worse things. But it is sad that that would happen.

 

[momor]

I use to confess sins to one priest who was always saying to me ‘What you did won’t kill you so don’t worry about it but smoking will kill you’ Where in the commandements is ‘thou shall not smoke’??? But I could find in the commandments ‘thou shall not …’ insert the sins I have done.

Pray that God will lead you to a good priest

CM

My comment is kind of off topic but I have to ask. Do you really think that smoking isn’t a sin?

 

[david_friol]

James 4:17 “So for one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, it is a sin.”
So I would say that the priest was incorrect when he told you that it was not a sin. However, there are other factors to consider as to what level of sinfulness.

As for looking down on others imperfections I would say that Jesus wants us to look at people with love. Hebrews 12:14 says"Strive for peace with everyone, and for that holiness without which no one will see the Lord." So keep striving for holiness in your thoughts and overcome those sinful habits by continuing to go to confession and receive the Eucharist as often as possible. Also pray for that priest and thank God for him!

If the priest does not ask you to say an act of contrition you can say one on your own after you go out of the confessional or you can politely interupt the priest and ask if it would be okay to say it.

God bless you and your family!

 

[Claire_from_DE]

I went to confession today and I confessed that I failed to speak the truth to those who were living in serious sin, I had oppertunities and I didn’t use them well. The priest said this was not a sin.
It’s too bad that the priest didn’t pursue this a bit more. It may have been prudent not to confront them about their sin at that time. However, if you thought you were sinning, then it was serious. He should have helped you to form your conscience about the situation.

Next I said I looked down on the imperfections of others in my head. If true, this could have been a sin of pride. He also said this was not a sin. Well, he should have explained that a little better. He seemed quiet angry at this point like I was wasting his time.

I said that was all ( I had more to say but I thought this was going no where) and he absolved me without asking me to say an act of contrition.

It was not with my regular confessor, the priest may be in a parish where many people suffer from scruples. It’s true they were all venial sins but they still separate me from God and I want to overcome them. I don’t suffer from scruples, if anything I’m the opposite. I’m well aware of Church teaching on the matter and this won’t put me off the sacrament. I just feel really bad how a priest could treat the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

I don’t know how the priests know what to say to the many different people who confess to them. I think God often gives them the insights or words they need. But priests are only human and are sinners too. Who knows, maybe that priest had something heavy on his mind and he wasn’t being attentive to what you were confessing. I wonder, too, if someone confesses some sin that the priest himself is struggling with (not to say that was the case in this instance) if that makes it harder or easier for him to counsel the penitent. At least he has the power to give absolution and is willing to be there to do that. We need to pray for our priests.

 

[aspirant]

I haven’t been to Confession yet because I’m a catechumen, but this is one of the things I’m afraid of - confessing something like that and being told it’s not a sin (because I know it is).

If it really is a sin, and you really confess it, you’ve done the right thing by confessing it, and the priest saying otherwise won’t change that. Perhaps he misunderstood what was being said, perhaps he really doesn’t know. Just say a prayer for him after.

(I try to remember to always pray for the priests who hear my confession. )

 

[aspirant]

Do you really think that smoking isn’t a sin?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church does not forbid using tobacco, but says that Christians should avoid using it to excess: “The virtue of temperance disposes us to avoid every kind of excess: the abuse of food, alcohol, tobacco, or medicine.”

 

[Michael1985]

I haven’t been to Confession yet because I’m a catechumen, but this is one of the things I’m afraid of - confessing something like that and being told it’s not a sin (because I know it is). St. Teresa of Jesus (Avila) writes in her autobiography that various confessors told her that sins which she considered to be mortal were only venial, and that sins which she considered to be venial were not sins at all. She felt that this led her into deeper sins because it encouraged her to disregard the venial sins, so that she fell away for a time and stopped praying, and then when she came back, she regretted that time for the rest of her life. I’m sure her conscience was so delicate and finely tuned that she picked up on things which really did not seem like sins to her confessors, who heard much worse things. But it is sad that that would happen.

That’s a brilliant comment. Your point about disregarding venial sins is waht I was concerned about.
Don’t ever be afraid to go to confession becasue something like this might happen, it’s the first time it’s ever happened to me. There will always be a good priest somewhere to confess to. I think one of the biggest attacks of the devil is to make us afraid of confession. We must fight this if we feel this way.