Confession/purpose of amendment

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Veronica97

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This morning I went to Confession. I’m scrupulous and I have OCD. I confessed several things for which I am sorry and do not intend to do again. But there were a couple of things that I’m not sure I wouldn’t do again b/c I’m not sure they are truly sins. One of them is that I was on the internet reading on a message board. It looked like someone had an avatar that might be obscene. I looked at it quickly two or three times out of curiousity. It turned out not to be obscene, but I confessed to this b/c I said since I THOUGHT it might be obscene, I shouldn’t have tried to look at it. But even during my confession I was thinking maybe that’s not a sin–to try to figure out what something is–and that I might do it again. Also, I had taken a prescription tranquilizer last night about about 9:50 p.m., and I left this morning at 6:50 to make the half hour trip to the Church. I thought that 9 hours would be plenty of time for the drug to be out of my system. But once I got on the road I felt kind of sleepy. I thought, “Maybe I should just turn around and go home.” But then I thought, “No, I really want to make my Confession.” So I kept on. Then I thought, “Well, maybe I’d better confess this too–driving feeling kind of sleepy.” Then I thought, “But that’s presumption.” Well, when I confessed this, the priest asked if I was thinking about all of this BEFORE I left home, and I said, “No”. So he didn’t think I had committed the sin of presumption. (But now that I think about it, I was concerned when I left home about the drug being out of my system, but I thought I’d be okay. But I still was a little worried about it even as I pulled out of the garage. I was thinking, “Am I okay? Am I too tired?” Now I’m worried that I lied to the priest even though I thought at the time I was telling the truth.) So when I made my act of Contrition, I thought to myself, “This means I need to be willing to not do this again.” Next time I will wait more like 12 hours before driving, but again, I wondered if this wasn’t really a sin to drive a little bit sleepy. I wasn’t impaired otherwise and there wasn’t much traffic. It just seemed like I confessed a lot of things out of fear and I’m not sure I had enough contrition; although except for those two things I was resolved not to sin again. So I went to Mass right after Confession and I was thinking, “What if I didn’t have enough contrition and my confession was bad?” But I received the Eucharist anyway, and then I felt a wave of guilt pass over me. Am I just being scrupulous or do I have a real reason to fear? I feel like I need to go to Confession again on Friday.
 
Well, I tend to be a bit scrupulous and that’s what it sounds like you were being. You confessed and are having second thoughts but God has already forgiven you. Put it behind you and move on, holding on only to the joy of God’s infinite Mercy and your firm purpose of amendment not to drive within 12 hour of taking the meds again. Your communion was not tainted. 👍
 
Veronica97 said:
This morning I went to Confession. I’m scrupulous and I have OCD. I confessed several things for which I am sorry and do not intend to do again. But there were a couple of things that I’m not sure I wouldn’t do again b/c I’m not sure they are truly sins. One of them is that I was on the internet reading on a message board. It looked like someone had an avatar that might be obscene. I looked at it quickly two or three times out of curiousity. It turned out not to be obscene, but I confessed to this b/c I said since I THOUGHT it might be obscene, I shouldn’t have tried to look at it. But even during my confession I was thinking maybe that’s not a sin–to try to figure out what something is–and that I might do it again. Also, I had taken a prescription tranquilizer last night about about 9:50 p.m., and I left this morning at 6:50 to make the half hour trip to the Church. I thought that 9 hours would be plenty of time for the drug to be out of my system. But once I got on the road I felt kind of sleepy. I thought, “Maybe I should just turn around and go home.” But then I thought, “No, I really want to make my Confession.” So I kept on. Then I thought, “Well, maybe I’d better confess this too–driving feeling kind of sleepy.” Then I thought, “But that’s presumption.” Well, when I confessed this, the priest asked if I was thinking about all of this BEFORE I left home, and I said, “No”. So he didn’t think I had committed the sin of presumption. (But now that I think about it, I was concerned when I left home about the drug being out of my system, but I thought I’d be okay. But I still was a little worried about it even as I pulled out of the garage. I was thinking, “Am I okay? Am I too tired?” Now I’m worried that I lied to the priest even though I thought at the time I was telling the truth.) So when I made my act of Contrition, I thought to myself, “This means I need to be willing to not do this again.” Next time I will wait more like 12 hours before driving, but again, I wondered if this wasn’t really a sin to drive a little bit sleepy. I wasn’t impaired otherwise and there wasn’t much traffic. It just seemed like I confessed a lot of things out of fear and I’m not sure I had enough contrition; although except for those two things I was resolved not to sin again. So I went to Mass right after Confession and I was thinking, “What if I didn’t have enough contrition and my confession was bad?” But I received the Eucharist anyway, and then I felt a wave of guilt pass over me. Am I just being scrupulous or do I have a real reason to fear? I feel like I need to go to Confession again on Friday.
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Sadly so familiar. Have you read the Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous? One of them is:

“Thou shalt not confess doubtful sins.”

mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm
 
I can’t stop thinking about presumption though. When I was pulling out of the garage I was thinking, “I hope I’m okay to drive. It’s been 9 hours since I took that pill. It should be okay now. But maybe I’m too tired? But I think I’m probably okay.” Then I almost turned at the wrong street while still in town. Still thinking, “What if I’m too tired and that’s why I made the mistake?” But I dismissed it–thinking I may have turned that way out of habit or I often make mistakes when I have a lot on my mind. Then started down the highway and thought, “I am kind of tired. Maybe I should turn around and go home” But I wasn’t falling asleep or anything. I really wanted to get to Confession so I drove on. Still, I knew that the catechism says we shouldn’t drive recklessly or while impaired. Then a little bit further I thought, “I’ll just confess this.” Then after that I thought, “But that’s presumption.” But if I had turned around, I still would have had to drive home–maybe not as far–but I would have still been driving tired. Still a sin, I just wouldn’t have gotten to Confession. Did I commit the sin of presumption? And then I was thinking in Confession, “Well, if I was on the road all over again, I probably would have still kept driving to Confession and still have thought, 'I’ll confess this.” But then I thought, “But I need to be willing not to commit this sin again.” I knew I wouldn’t start out driving again unless I had let a longer time go by after taking the med or else not take it all.
 
I should also add that I did only get 4 hours of sleep also. But usually after a cup of coffee I’m fine. Today I was still tired, even after the coffee. But not falling asleep at the wheel–pinch yourself to stay awake kind of tired.
 
Without directly getting into the question (a regular confessor is important with one with scruples.) …

I will note that in terms of mortal sin --the person needs to be amended that one will not commit a mortal sin. So if in regards to that which is not mortal sin or is a scruple one need not be amended “I will not do X again”. But rather “I will not commit mortal sin”.

As to venial sin – the purpose of amendment is not as “exclusionary” – that is one does not have to be amended never to commit venial sin again (such is not likely in this life – the Church actually teaches that we will have such --unless God gives one particular grace) --nor does it have to be “I will not commit this venial sin again” in order to be a valid confession.

Venial sins…one needs at least the amendment to do better…say to lessen the number of them etc…for certain venial sins can be real buggers…and you can find yourself mentioning the ‘same ones’ week after week…so fret not…be sorry again if this happens… and put your hand to the plow and do not look back…
 
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