Confession query (boring, I know)

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Amac1

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Last month I went to confession for the first time in 27 years! I got lot of advice from people on this forum that really helped. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and was a massive turning point in my life.

Anyway, as you can imagine the sins I confessed were very general and there was a lot of mortal sin within that.

Now I’m at a point where I want to confess the smaller more venial sins as they arise, but I’ve never done this before, so I really don’t know where to go with this, or what is worth confessing.

Before I go any further, please don’t accuse me of scrupulosity because I’m confident that is not the case. It’s more a case of not knowing much about this.

My question is this… I am working from home due to covid… I went to the gym this morning and therefore didn’t start work until 10:15 (I should start at 8:30/9). A colleague phoned when I was at the gym and I didn’t answer. She text saying to phone when I had a chance. I then ignored this (because of guilt of being at gym instead of working). I worked my contracted hours, so I have done nothing wrong that way. But I ignored her call and message, and then text her later (after work hours) saying “sorry, only saw your message as my phone hasn’t been working”. I blatantly told a lie. She was fine and no harm was done. But I still lied.

Can I ask… is this worthy of confession? My husband thinks I’m being silly, but something within me tells me I was very wrong and I should confess asap.

I promise I’m not being scrupulous. I’m just trying to learn. And I want to know if these sorts of things are mortal sin, venial sin, or neither.

I have a few other scenarios but I think if I get advice re the above example it’ll really help.

Thank you.
 
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I am having a hard time seeing any real sin here, so you are not likely obligated to confess any of this (of course, your obligation to confess a sin is only something you can discern).

Most companies are being very flexible with hours, but of course you shouldn’t abuse that. You also shouldn’t be making a habit out of lies; you could easily say “sorry, wasn’t available,” and leave it at that. But social convention also doesn’t require strict honesty to the point that a “white lie” becomes a mortal sin.

There is nothing I see that should be making you rush to the confessional; as you note, rushing to confess petty things can lead to scrupulosity. However, also note that you are willing to share this publicly to get advice; you should work to feel comfortable asking for advice during confession as well. Monthly confession, asking about a few potential venial sins of concern, would not be spiritually unhealthy.
 
I wouldn’t go to confession only for this, but if I were going to confession I would include it.

The question I ask myself is “do I want to be known as a person who does X?” Assuming the answer is no, then confession makes me a person who no longer does X. And (hopefully) it will make me think twice the next time the situation arises.
 
I did something similar once and confessed it. Lying is bad. I used to have a pastor who preached to us that lying even small “white lies” is a bad thing to do. So yeah, confess it when you confess (I agree you don’t need to go rushing down to the confessional just for this) and next time just return the call quicker.

Best to just say something that was true (like “Sorry, it’s been a busy day” which it has) or say nothing. Usually if you’re only late returning one call once, people will assume something came up and not worry about it without you needing to explain.

Congrats on getting back to confession after 27 years! Thanks be to the Holy Spirit for leading you back.
 
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Amac1 said:
I blatantly told a lie.
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Sounds clear cut to me. Just confess it and be at peace. We can speculate whether it’s venial or not, but it is obviously a violation of a commandment and we can leave it at that.

If it were me, I would spare my confessor the details and keep such sins simple. I would just say, “I blatantly told a lie.” If additional details are needed, you will be asked. Then get to the next one and so forth.

I would also add, you are doing just fine. There is nothing wrong with seeking holiness and aspiring towards the perfection that Christ calls us to.
 
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I’ve found it best to confess those venial sins I’m particularly noticing or working on every two weeks. One thing you will find that’s not pleasant outwardly but necessary spiritually is that the closer you get to God the more you see your sins and faults. Frequent confession is very valuable.
 
The Church does not require venial sins to be confessed; they are effectively forgiven in the penitential part of the Mass and reception of the Eucharist.

The Church, however, encourages us to frequent confessions, and it is participation in a specific sacrament.

Your call.

Welcome back to the Church - that is awesome.
 
7 Secrets of Confession by Vinny Flynn and Lord, have mercy. The healing power of Confession by Scott Hahn are two very good books that I and a lot of other people recommend to those returning to the Church as well as converts.
 
Practical piece of advice - it’s okay in most companies to answer your phone in the gym, in the grocery store, whatever.

Say where you are and why, even if it’s, “I knew I was going to have a busy day, so I hit the gym early. What can I do for you?”
 
PaulinVA said:
Practical piece of advice - it’s okay in most companies to answer your phone in the gym, in the grocery store, whatever.

Say where you are and why, even if it’s, “I knew I was going to have a busy day, so I hit the gym early. What can I do for you?”
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It is a real shame that company culture endorses working while on personal time. The OP says she worked her contracted hours even after visiting the gym. The OP was not required to be “on-call” or “on the clock” while working out in the gym on her personal time. Therefore we should not even suggest that the OP rob herself of “me time” to go “on the clock” without being compensated or monitored for such overtime.
 
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Anesti33 said:
It is a real shame that company culture endorses working while on personal time. The OP says they worked their contracted hours even after visiting the gym. The OP was not required to be “on-call” or “on the clock” while working out in the gym on their personal time. Therefore we should not even suggest that the OP rob themselves of “me time” to go “on the clock” without being compensated or monitored for such overtime.
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I think in this case the OP went to the gym when they were supposed to be working, and then made up the time later. It’s not a huge deal, but most organizations want to know when you’re working, not just that you worked at some point during the day.

I mean, is it the crime of the century? No. But I can see why they were a bit reluctant to say they were at the gym.
 
RolandThompsonGunner said:
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Anesti33:
It is a real shame that company culture endorses working while on personal time. The OP says they worked their contracted hours even after visiting the gym. The OP was not required to be “on-call” or “on the clock” while working out in the gym on their personal time. Therefore we should not even suggest that the OP rob themselves of “me time” to go “on the clock” without being compensated or monitored for such overtime.
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I think in this case the OP went to the gym when they were supposed to be working, and then made up the time later. It’s not a huge deal, but most organizations want to know when you’re working, not just that you worked at some point during the day.

I mean, is it the crime of the century? No. But I can see why they were a bit reluctant to say they were at the gym.
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She also said she “did no wrong” and sees no reason to confess substituting the gym for an early start time. So I’m a little mystified by the priorities here.
 
Anesti33 said:
She also said she “did no wrong” and sees no reason to confess substituting the gym for an early start time. So I’m a little mystified by the priorities here.
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I agree that this is kind of a mountain out of a molehill situation here, but I think the issue is that the OP appears to work in a job with a set schedule where he/she doesn’t get to unilaterally shift the hours.

If your job says “your hours are 8 am to 430 pm”, most people don’t have the power to go “I’ve decided I’ll start today at noon and work till 830 pm.” The company kinda needs to know when you’re working, not just that you’re going to work at some undetermined time.

But again…big nothingburger. It’s so minor I wouldn’t really fret about it.
 
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I’ve been working from home for years, and have had remote people working for me.

What’s the use of working from home if you’re chained to your desk for eight hours? Maybe I’m different, and the companies I’ve worked for are different, but in exchange for no commute you are available a little more than eight hours. And, available means answering the phone and emails no matter where you are.
 
PaulinVA said:
I’ve been working from home for years, and have had remote people working for me.

What’s the use of working from home if you’re chained to your desk for eight hours? Maybe I’m different, and the companies I’ve worked for are different, but in exchange for no commute you are available a little more than eight hours. And, available means answering the phone and emails no matter where you are.
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In my line of work, that’s known as “on-call” and commands a premium compensation. Are you being compensated for eight hours or all of your work?

Work-from-home is, as you say, used as a license by both employer and employee. The employee will slack off during work hours, stop to cook a meal, diaper a baby, whatever life may demand, while they’re on the clock. The employer will expect employee to be available at all hours, and it gets worse. The employer is now able to offload business-owned resources to the employee’s arena. So the employee now pays for overhead such as utilities, rent, Internet, computing resources, mobile bills, ergonomic desk space, a quiet office site, and the employer gets to eliminate line items from the budget because their office space is shrinking. It’s definitely a weird time, and COVID-19 has triggered a landslide where there were some pretty sizable pebbles falling already.
 
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Anesti33 said:
So the employee now pays for overhead such as utilities, rent, Internet, computing resources, mobile bills, ergonomic desk space, a quiet office site
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Already paid for, aren’t they?

I know that’s not everyone’s experience. I’ve been management/executive for years, so maybe my experience is different. I understand that their are companies, and people, that try to take advantage of situations.
 
PaulinVA said:
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Anesti33:
So the employee now pays for overhead such as utilities, rent, Internet, computing resources, mobile bills, ergonomic desk space, a quiet office site
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Already paid for, aren’t they?

I know that’s not everyone’s experience. I’ve been management/executive for years, so maybe my experience is different. I understand that their are companies, and people, that try to take advantage of situations.
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No, they’re not “paid for” because you and I are zoned for residence use, not commercial.

I am not an expert on the tax code, but I believe that business expenses are tax-deductible only when the taxpayer is an owner or proprietor of a business, not when they are an employee. So it’s cheating the employee out of expenses that used to belong to the business.

Here’s my situation. I work 14 hours a week, from home. My IT job requires me to have a fast computer and fast Internet, with camera and mic. We have set hours during which I am required to be “live”. I am paid a flat fee for each week of work, no matter how many hours I put in. So it makes the most financial sense to clock in and out on time, or I’m simply giving away my time (money) to the company. Most people with my job have a full-time job already, so I’m in solidarity with people whose time does equate to money.

Closer to the beginning of my job, we had a small crisis and the boss asked me to perform some test runs each workday that would nearly double my work hours. No compensation was available for this doubling. I declined to enact the plan, probably causing my senior coworker to incur more prep time than ever. I am still in good standing. It is possible to hold the line when hours are at stake. Who knows, they might have been willing to compensate me after I declined to work for free? I had to take that chance, rather than become a minimum-wage slave.
 
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@Anesti33 , our experiences are obviously different. I understand what you’re saying.
 
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