J
Jamie
Guest
So, like a bunch of people on here, I suffer from OCD ( the kind that gives the sufferer horrible thoughts), and it has made confession a torture chamber. I recently went to confession and confessed like I always do, telling the priest about my thoughts, how they sometimes feel more deliberate and at other times way out of my control. I told him in general terms what the thoughts are about and then moved on . I had a particular instance in mind when I confessed this, but I didn’t mention it both because I know that I am not supposed to be super specific because of time, and because I didn’t really know how to confess it really. I ended up just agreeing that it fit into the category of my other thoughts and kept on going. Like all my other confessions, I left feeling that my confession was valid and complete, but then the digging started. I started to dig at my confession and this particular thing came up. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that I did deliberately have this thought because I rested more on it than I usually do, but it is super confusing to me because I always have OCD thoughts of this kind and they always hurt so much and I always reject them as best as I can. I have absolutely no real desire to carry out this thought in any way shape or form and the fact that now I think that I may have wanted it in my heart ( thought I’ve never physically carried out and have no plans to) is driving me to the point of insanity. This instance does feel different though, so now I am wondering if this made my confession sacrilegious since I didn’t specifically mention this situation and because I wonder if I didn’t convince myself that this was one of my regular thoughts ( it always felt a little different, which is why I struggled with knowing how to confess it). Will I have to confess everything over again or just this one sin and the new ones? I do struggle with repeating confessions, and it is like pulling myself apart every time, but I will do it if I have to.