Confession question - invalid past confession/scrupulosity?

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dcampbe1

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Hi all, I have a question about a confession I made a while ago that’s recently been on my mind. I apologize for the length but it feels necessary to give some context, so here it goes…

About a year ago, I returned to the Church after 10+ years away. I’m in my mid 20s and wasn’t well-formed growing up (and I knew next to no one at the time that was a practicing Catholic) so I guess I went in with a lot of sins to confess from my young adult years and not totally sure of what to expect. I got through my list I had written out but one particular mortal sin the priest asked me for a number of how many times I’d committed that sin. I totally didn’t expect this question (I don’t know if the # disclosure for mortal sins was taught to me as an adolescent/early teen or if I just forgot?) and really didn’t know a number so I nervously replied, “I don’t know…20 times?” And the priest said ok and we moved on. I actually remember thinking 20 was probably the low end for estimates but said it anyway. Thinking about it today, I still don’t know but would guess the number is likely closer to 30? Maybe a little more?

I didn’t go into that confession planning to withhold the number or planning to estimate low…it just happened in the split second it was asked and panicked with the quick answer. Lately I feel like I’ve been teetering the line of scrupulosity in thinking back to my confessions over the past year. But I can’t decide if this time was actually scrupulosity or me making a bad confession by being embarrassed and trying to hide the magnitude of my sins? My limited knowledge at the time of what a “good confession” was and just my overall limited knowledge of the faith at that time also really muddies the water further. For example- I had a sense that you probably shouldn’t receive Communion if you hadn’t been to confession in a while but didn’t know you actually couldn’t if you were in a state of mortal sin.

Anyway, I didn’t walk out of that first confession back feeling like I had deceived the priest or don’t something to invalidate what I had just confessed to him, but I’m obviously now worried what that would mean if this first confession back was invalid and I’ve been receiving Communion all of this time since…

I’ve learned a lot about the faith in this past year but still have so much to learn and don’t know where I fall with respect to this. SO, I’d really really appreciate any constructive feedback anyone is willing to give. Thank you!!
 
Totally valid. I would advise you to not think about this anymore. You’ve made a good confession. Know that any further questioning of it is either the voice of the Deceiver or your own doubts, but certainly not the voice of the Lord. Be completely at peace.
 
Next time mention that you tend to scruples and he will help you. Peace.
 
Essentially nothing can invalidate a confession other than deliberately withholding mortal sins. Be at peace, and just mention the sins you forgot next time.
 
Bring what you wrote here to your Priest in confession…he can assist you (it can be the case that you made then a good confession (you made in good faith)- doing what you thought you needed to do there and then…but that now that you realize it - you would bring that to the next confession). I am not saying you ought to fret about that confession from the past -but bring the matter up with your confessor in confession.

And if you do start tending towards scruples…make sure you get a regular confessor to nip it in the bud. Know too that even if you have say some scruples now - such can be “transitory” and part of your deeper conversion in way. But again have a regular confessor.
 
First of all, I think it’s awesome that you’ve come back. Blessed be God. 🙂

Now, someone has said that nothing can invalidate a confession other than deliberately withholding mortal sins. Well, not quite, because lacking a firm purpose of amendment or sincere contrition likewise can make a confession invalid.

They key here, OP, is to avoid legalism. The guidelines are there to help us, they’re not there to condemn us. We should always make a sincere effort to conform ourselves to them, with the understanding that what we do in good faith will of course be accepted by the Lord.

You say you were caught off-guard and that you mentioned the first number that came to mind. Perhaps it was a little off, but you tried to mention the amount of times you committed a particular sin as well as you could. You did not intend to go to Confession, mention all your sins, and then laugh maniacally afterwards because you purposely gave a wrong figure. You went to be absolved, you tried your best, and you tried, presumably, to be sorry for your sins and to strive, with God’s help, to never commit them again.

Forgive me, but I think that that is absolutely sufficient.

If you’re having fears that are rooted in legalism, suspect very strongly that they are temptations from the master legalists, the devils themselves. If they want you to think that God hasn’t forgiven you, then that’s *their *problem, not yours.

Always do your best, always be sincere, and thereafter, simply trust that God knows your heart and that He will NEVER, EVER, EVER seek to condemn you on a technicality when all you want is His forgiveness. Only sincerely REJECTING His mercy and His forgiveness, or sincerely clinging to a sin and/or hiding it, will result in an invalid absolution.
 
All – thank you for the (name removed by moderator)ut.

I had hoped the responses would be more uniform/on the same page, but I guess it’s not surprising that they are not – probably why I have struggled so much with how to handle this issue. I do think that I had good intentions in that confession but looking back to my mindset and my understanding of confession now vs. back then, I start to doubt things and think that perhaps I should have known better? It is hard to revisit a mindset that I no longer possess…

Anyway, I’m going to reflect on this a little more considering all of your words of advice and pray for a clearer sense of what I should do, whether it be to bring it up at my next confession or to not think of this any more.
 
dcampbe1 said:
I had hoped the responses would be more uniform/on the same page, but I guess it’s not surprising that they are not – probably why I have struggled so much with how to handle this issue.
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You’re never going to get uniform answers on CAF! So consider who has responded. I believe Buc_Fan is a priest, so you might take that into consideration.
 
dcampbe1 said:
All – thank you for the (name removed by moderator)ut.

I had hoped the responses would be more uniform/on the same page, but I guess it’s not surprising that they are not – probably why I have struggled so much with how to handle this issue. I do think that I had good intentions in that confession but looking back to my mindset and my understanding of confession now vs. back then, I start to doubt things and think that perhaps I should have known better? It is hard to revisit a mindset that I no longer possess…

Anyway, I’m going to reflect on this a little more considering all of your words of advice and pray for a clearer sense of what I should do, whether it be to bring it up at my next confession or to not think of this any more.
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Bring up the matter in confession - as you asked it. And certainly if you know you confessed it was 20 when you know know it was 30 and they were mortal sins (venial sin no need to confess) -then one would confess such anyhow.

For if one innocently omitted a mortal sin -and one later realizes this one would confess that in the next confession. In that case it is like a forgotten mortal sin - see Jimmy Akin of Catholic Answers: jimmyakin.com/2006/09/a_reader_writes_1.html
Now for those readers out there who struggle with scruples about confession - do not scruple here -but listen to your regular confessors direction. (For example those who scruple about confession might be directed by their regular confessor not to mention “past remembered mortal sins” unless they are both 1. certain it was not confessed as it ought - and 2. that they are certain it was mortal. Other than say in a general way at the end. For those with scruples discuss with your confessor.)
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
You’re never going to get uniform answers on CAF! So consider who has responded. I believe Buc_Fan is a priest, so you might take that into consideration.
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haha, you’re right…but I have seen somewhat uniform answers in the past so I was optimistically hopeful.

As for the info re: Buc_Fan, thank you for that insight. That is really helpful.
 
Bookcat said:
Bring up the matter in confession - as you asked it. And certainly if you know you confessed it was 20 when you know know it was 30 and they were mortal sins (venial sin no need to confess) -then one would confess such anyhow.

For if one innocently omitted a mortal sin -and one later realizes this one would confess that in the next confession. In that case it is like a forgotten mortal sin - see Jimmy Akin of Catholic Answers: jimmyakin.com/2006/09/a_reader_writes_1.html
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That is what I have been doing for other sins that have slowly come back to me over the past year – confess them as I remember them. But this one is different because I already confessed the sin --but I just don’t know the number for sure. I am guessing it was more than 20, but the occasions were spread out over too long of a period to really know, and it is not something I kept track of back then. I am leaning toward coming up a way to succinctly summarize this to the priest at my next confession, as I think this will put my mind more at ease.

And I will give the Jimmy Akin article a read. Thank you!
 
dcampbe1 said:
That is what I have been doing for other sins that have slowly come back to me over the past year – confess them as I remember them. But this one is different because I already confessed the sin --but I just don’t know the number for sure. I am guessing it was more than 20, but the occasions were spread out over too long of a period to really know, and it is not something I kept track of back then. I am leaning toward coming up a way to succinctly summarize this to the priest at my next confession, as I think this will put my mind more at ease.

And I will give the Jimmy Akin article a read. Thank you!
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Just tell him what you did then and why - and what you think a good est is …and he can then direct you further.

You do not have to give him the article for that is just standard Catholic Theology.
 
Bookcat said:
Just tell him what you did then and why - and what you think a good est is …and he can then direct you further.

You do not have to give him the article for that is just standard Catholic Theology.
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opps I misread what you wrote about the article 🙂
 
dcampbe1 said:
All – thank you for the (name removed by moderator)ut.

I had hoped the responses would be more uniform/on the same page, but I guess it’s not surprising that they are not – probably why I have struggled so much with how to handle this issue. I do think that I had good intentions in that confession but looking back to my mindset and my understanding of confession now vs. back then, I start to doubt things and think that perhaps I should have known better? It is hard to revisit a mindset that I no longer possess…

Anyway, I’m going to reflect on this a little more considering all of your words of advice and pray for a clearer sense of what I should do, whether it be to bring it up at my next confession or to not think of this any more.
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Buc_fan is a priest. Re-read his post.
 
PrayPsalm51 said:
Buc_fan is a priest. Re-read his post.
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Thanks! I appreciate the vote of confidence! To the OP, a priest never needs to know specific, as in exact, numbers of times any given sin has been committed. A ball park is fine. Rmember, the priest is not there to condemn, but to help facilitate a deeper conversion. While the law is important (in this case, the obligation to confess mortal sins in number) we have to be careful that we don’t get so caught up in the law that we miss the forest for the trees. The reason we need to know number of sins is so we can ascertain how deep seated a certain sin is so as to offer better counsel and advice, and to help in formulating a fitting penance. I can promise you that regardless of whatever sin you were originally talking about, whether you did it 20, 25, 30, or 50 times, both the priest’s advice and his assigned penance would have been the same. Again, try not to think of this anymore. It’s certainly not from the Lord.
 
buc_fan33 said:
Thanks! I appreciate the vote of confidence! To the OP, a priest never needs to know specific, as in exact, numbers of times any given sin has been committed. A ball park is fine. Rmember, the priest is not there to condemn, but to help facilitate a deeper conversion. While the law is important (in this case, the obligation to confess mortal sins in number) we have to be careful that we don’t get so caught up in the law that we miss the forest for the trees. The reason we need to know number of sins is so we can ascertain how deep seated a certain sin is so as to offer better counsel and advice, and to help in formulating a fitting penance. I can promise you that regardless of whatever sin you were originally talking about, whether you did it 20, 25, 30, or 50 times, both the priest’s advice and his assigned penance would have been the same. Again, try not to think of this anymore. It’s certainly not from the Lord.
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Thank you so much! The additional explanation of why you need to know numbers really helps, too. I realize I’ve been thinking about this issue entirely too much lately (so much that it’s actually distracted me from more important things) but I think I’m ready to move on with my mind at peace now. I feel blessed that you happened to stumble upon my thread and were able to tell me just what I needed to hear. 🙂
 
buc_fan33 said:
Thanks! I appreciate the vote of confidence! To the OP, a priest never needs to know specific, as in exact, numbers of times any given sin has been committed. A ball park is fine
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As you noted one is obliged to confess all mortal sins in number and kind. So I think it should be clarified that yes normally the Priest needs to know the actual number of all mortal sins - for the penitent is obliged to confess them. But as you note that is not absolutely necessary - for one may not know them.

Now can there be times when one does not know that number?

Yes sure. And then one may approximate according to what one knows from ones examination of conscience. That may be something like “around 5” or 8-10x or more than 20 or it may be it may need to be “many times” or “alot” or “a few times”…
buc_fan33 said:
The reason we need to know number of sins is so we can ascertain how deep seated a certain sin is so as to offer better counsel and advice, and to help in formulating a fitting penance…
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And because it is the nature of the Sacrament and the Divine Law.

Now can there be exceptions to such? Yes such as the person does not know the number (so can approximate)…or the person does not have the time before the plane crashes …certain cases of scruples etc etc.

Jimmy Akin senior Apologist at Catholic Answers (for reader further reading):

jimmyakin.com/2012/03/confessing-by-kind-and-number.html

jimmyakin.com/2006/09/a_reader_writes_1.html

ncregister.com/blog/jimmy-akin/when-you-dont-have-to-say-something-in-confession
 
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