Confession question

[latinmasslover]

To traditional Catholics,

In Confession, we’re bound to the penance (duh) but not necessarily to the advice, true?

I went to Confession today (my regular confessor is gone on vacation to Colombia) and had to choose between two pretty liberal and modern priests…I don’t remember leaving a Confessional with so much disgust in my life! Anyway, the advice today was pretty modern, and he forgot to give absolution. I reminded him, he started the prayer, then said I was absolved (before finishing it).

Does this even count as a Confession? I performed my penance for the sake of obedience, but the advice was awful. Should the advice be followed? (part of the advice was to not confess weekly). Facts are desired, opinions welcomed. Thanks to all in advance.

One other thing, I believe I should bring this up with the head pastor…but I have a feeling he’ll do nothing about it because that’s just the way he is. If this happens, should I go to the bishop? What do I do afterwards, if the bishop continues to let him hear confessions? He’s forgotten the absolution before (with other people), so some are confessing and not being absolved? After going to the bishop, is there anything that can be done, or does it become something that has to be given to God only? Thanks again.

 

[Brother_John]

You confessed, you were absolved, and you did your penance.

Perhaps the “advice” was because the priest thought maybe you were being overly scrupulous?

Sounds like you’re good for another week

 

[Nancyannheath]

To traditional Catholics,

In Confession, we’re bound to the penance (duh) but not necessarily to the advice, true?

I went to Confession today (my regular confessor is gone on vacation to Colombia) and had to choose between two pretty liberal and modern priests…I don’t remember leaving a Confessional with so much disgust in my life! Anyway, the advice today was pretty modern, and he forgot to give absolution. I reminded him, he started the prayer, then said I was absolved (before finishing it).

Does this even count as a Confession? I performed my penance for the sake of obedience, but the advice was awful. Should the advice be followed? (part of the advice was to not confess weekly). Facts are desired, opinions welcomed. Thanks to all in advance.

One other thing, I believe I should bring this up with the head pastor…but I have a feeling he’ll do nothing about it because that’s just the way he is. If this happens, should I go to the bishop? What do I do afterwards, if the bishop continues to let him hear confessions? He’s forgotten the absolution before (with other people), so some are confessing and not being absolved? After going to the bishop, is there anything that can be done, or does it become something that has to be given to God only? Thanks again.

In my opinion, you sound extremely judgemental towards the priest, I think you will have to confess THAT next week. Especially if you are sharing your judgement with others as you mentioned above saying that he has forgotten the absolution before with other people…how would you know this unless you are sharing notes with others, spreading bad things about his name.

If you want to help him out, say the prayer to “Free 1000 Souls in Purgatory” several times. That should cover everything, and everyone, even his mistakes.

God bless you.

 

[latinmasslover]

In my opinion, you sound extremely judgemental towards the priest, I think you will have to confess THAT next week. Especially if you are sharing your judgement with others as you mentioned above saying that he has forgotten the absolution before with other people…how would you know this unless you are sharing notes with others, spreading bad things about his name.

If you want to help him out, say the prayer to “Free 1000 Souls in Purgatory” several times. That should cover everything, and everyone, even his mistakes.

God bless you.

Actually, nobody was spreading anything. Someone was concerned because he didn’t grant them absolution. If he’s not absolving, do you really think that he should be hearing confessions?

And how did I seem judgmental? I stated facts about his views and did not use his name. He once (that I’m aware of) almost forgot the words of Consecration at Mass. I’m not passing judgment, I just don’t think that he should be administering the sacraments when he doesn’t remember the words to the sacraments (something that is not optional). I really do not see the where “judgmental” fits in this, perhaps you could point it out to me?

 

[latinmasslover]

You confessed, you were absolved, and you did your penance.

Perhaps the “advice” was because the priest thought maybe you were being overly scrupulous?

Sounds like you’re good for another week

I confessed, performed the penance, but was *not *absolved. He told me: holy people confess weekly, everyone else should go monthly…(didn’t make sense to me).

 

[Brother_John]

I confessed, performed the penance, but was *not *absolved. He told me: holy people confess weekly, everyone else should go monthly…(didn’t make sense to me).

In the OP, you said that “he said I was absolved”…how or if he “finished the prayer” is his issue, not yours.

 

[Nancyannheath]

Judgemental as in being very critical. Maybe he was still overwhelmed by what he heard from the person just before you.

Have you ever been so distraught during a confession you were in tears and right after given pennance, you left the confessional sobbing and forgot to get absolved? That happens occasionally.

My point is, when you confessed, did you feel the PRESENENCE of Jesus during the confession? We truly confess to him, the priest is just “there” and if you feel Jesus heard your confession, and you feel your sin was forgiven, regardless of whether or not the priest ‘verbally’ said he absolved you, you were absolved unless he said “I cannot absolve you” and beleive me, they do tell you when you cannot be absolved (I was told that once).

Have a little mercy this time…if it happens frequently in the future, then I would mention it to your pastor. I felt you were being judgemental in saying that even if you did tell your pastor, he wouldnt do anything about it anyway. Why do you think that is?

I was not trying to be mean to you, YOU did ask for opinions…
Sorry if I offended…

Bottom line, if you feel forgiven, let it go. Or if you are still not comfortable about it, confess all over again next weekend if you dont feel absolved. Were the sins so great you dont feel worthy to receive Eucharist tomorrow?

 

[Brother_John]

I confessed, performed the penance, but was *not *absolved. He told me: holy people confess weekly, everyone else should go monthly…(didn’t make sense to me).

Thus my comment that he perhaps feels that you are overly scrupulous?

 

[latinmasslover]

In the OP, you said that “he said I was absolved”…how or if he “finished the prayer” is his issue, not yours.

But if I were in a state of mortal sin then I would’ve had to confess again to the other priest. This priest seemed a little perturbed that I even asked for absolution - he said he gave it, then started the prayer, and stopped midway and said again “You’re absolved”…rather harshly. I can handle harshness, sometimes I need it, but the lack of absolution concerned me, not so much for myself as for others who may not be aware.

 

[Nancyannheath]

One more thing, is he very old?

I see if you are concerned if this same preist is forgetting parts of the Mass (Consecration is necessary). Perhaps there is a medical issue going on…slight stroke maybe. But dont go to the Bishop…that would make shame for your pastor. Give it to God.

 

[Nancyannheath]

I would NEVER make light of this to mock you, Okay? so dont think I am terrible for my next thought here…but back in the day, if we so much as brought to the attention to the priest he ‘forgot’ to absolve us or corrected them, they would have come out of that booth like a shot (with a yardstick) and given us a whole different pennance…

Just be at peace for today…

 

[Brother_John]

Just be at peace for today…

I agree…regardless of his style, he said you “were absolved”

Call it good, and let it go.

 

[Ferdy_000]

I agree with Nancyannheath and the previous poster. Sorry chief, but i think priests make mistakes too, but talking about this priest is a sin. Anyway, just remind the priest to say the Absolution if he forgets ( but be polite or you’ll be liable to Confess again ) next time and forgive your brother for he is imperfect like us all. I still go to Confession weekly though…if it was good enough for John Paul the Great, it’s good enough for me.

 

[latinmasslover]

Judgemental as in being very critical. Maybe he was still overwhelmed by what he heard from the person just before you.

Have you ever been so distraught during a confession you were in tears and right after given pennance, you left the confessional sobbing and forgot to get absolved? That happens occasionally.

My point is, when you confessed, did you feel the PRESENENCE of Jesus during the confession? We truly confess to him, the priest is just “there” and if you feel Jesus heard your confession, and you feel your sin was forgiven, regardless of whether or not the priest ‘verbally’ said he absolved you, you were absolved unless he said “I cannot absolve you” and beleive me, they do tell you when you cannot be absolved (I was told that once).

Actually, I *didn’t *feel the presence of Jesus. This priest did not address my sins, but other areas of my life that he has no details of…he only made me upset in there. He condemned me for not being in school, for not being a money-hog, for not living with my mother…he did *not *address my sins.

Have a little mercy this time…if it happens frequently in the future, then I would mention it to your pastor. I felt you were being judgemental in saying that even if you did tell your pastor, he wouldnt do anything about it anyway. Why do you think that is?

I understand why you thought I was being judgmental there. I said that in reference to the head pastor only because I know him; it wasn’t an assumption. I’ve had a few meetings with him about similar situations, and he’s very flippant. This is why I asked about going to the bishop, because I have no doubt that the priest will not be helpful in this matter. And as I have gone to the bishop (regarding things taken up with the priest) he also was not helpful…“take it up with the priest,” was his response.

I was not trying to be mean to you, YOU did ask for opinions…
Sorry if I offended…

Bottom line, if you feel forgiven, let it go. Or if you are still not comfortable about it, confess all over again next weekend if you dont feel absolved. Were the sins so great you dont feel worthy to receive Eucharist tomorrow?

No offense taken. I gave the explanation above; didn’t feel it was judgmental. You have a duty as a Christian to point it out and I thank you for that. If you still feel that comment was wrong, then we’re in disagreement, but it’s not the end of the world.

I don’t want to diminish the seriousness of sin, I hate the phrase: well, it was only a venial sin…However, I had no mortal sins that needed confessing. Like I replied to Brother John, this doesn’t bother me so much because I *personally *was not absolved. It’s just, if he forgot with me, as he has with others (at least on occasion…I’m not going to interview everyone who comes out of the confessional)…what if it’s becoming regular? I do not believe that God will punish people because of his mistakes, but I don’t believe that he should be permitted to administer sacraments if they’re going to be invalid. There are other things he can do with the parish, and he does…he stays pretty active for a 90 year old…but some things…you know what I’m trying to say?

 

[Walking_Home]

But if I were in a state of mortal sin then I would’ve had to confess again to the other priest. This priest seemed a little perturbed that I even asked for absolution - he said he gave it, then started the prayer, and stopped midway and said again “You’re absolved”…rather harshly. I can handle harshness, sometimes I need it, but the lack of absolution concerned me, not so much for myself as for others who may not be aware.

---

Did the priest use the formula --“I absolve you of your sins”. If you are concerned – maybe post a question over at Ask the Apologist forum. Don’t know if --“You’re absolved” is a valid form of absolution.

 

[Nancyannheath]

90 years old? I am sure you would feel terrible if this priest died and you were not at peace with yourself today…

I know how serious this must all be for you today, and right now. but dont you see how you just have to “let this go” before you feel guilt if he dies in the next few days. God sees this, and will call him home soon. But GOD was in that booth, Jesus too, and if a priest looses his voice or speech, does his heart still not know the words, even if they do not reach his lips?

You were forgiven today, but you may have to confess your not “forgiving” this poor 90-year old priest his most confused day.

I repeat, just be at peace for today…who knows what tomorrow will bring, or what YOU will be forgetting when you are 90.

God bless you, and have MERCY

Yours in Peace,

 

[Newzie52]

If he’s 90, then it seems fairly likely that he is having some memory problems, based on what you have described. I think you can be sure that, given your intent to confess, and the fact he said “you’re absolved”, that you are, indeed, absolved. (Even if the priest had completely forgotten the words, then you would have been forgiven by Jesus…it’s not your fault that the priest you went to was having difficulties.)

No need to run to the pastor, or tattle to the bishop, unless you have been appointed the “priest police.” Just have a little charity and understanding.

 

[Nancyannheath]

One more little helpful suggestion for next week. You dont have to confess in the church you regularly attend. Go to a different church for confession until you can let this go, and spare yourself the risk of getting the same priest next week too so you wont have new issues of feeling bitter or worse… “turned off” by confession.

Again, if you did not feel the presence of Jesus, you need to find out why there is no connection. If you dont feel Jesus’ presence, your state of mind needs to adjust and needs to get spiritually tuned in. The priest is transparent (figuratively speaking), and you really are confessing to Jesus. If you dont feel his presence, you are not ready for confession at that time…

If anyone out there disagrees with this, please correct me. Is there such a thing as confessing so regularly, that you loose the feeling of remorse and dont feel Jesus’ presence? even before you open your mouth, or the priest has a chance to dissapoint us? Know what I mean? When I go, I am crying before I even begin…

Maybe that is why you cant let this go, you are in need of that ‘spiritual connection’. Yikes…I am going way off the original thread here…forgive me.

 

[santamonica]

I disagree with what most of the other posters are saying, latinmasslover; I think you do have reason to be concerned. If the priest did not at least say, “I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” or something very similar, then there is at least reason to wonder whether you were validly absolved. If you look in the Liturgy and Sacraments forum, there are some threads about this. Furthermore, if you think that there might have been something more than just forgetfulness or a slip of the tongue going on (i.e. if the priest was being flippant), then I think you should consider reporting the matter to the bishop. However, I would advise you not to go into detail about what the priest told you on a public forum like this. Instead, go to a different priest for your next regular confession if you can (i.e. not this priest or his pastor), explain what happened (without naming names, of course), and ask for advice. God bless you!

 

[latinmasslover]

One more little helpful suggestion for next week. You dont have to confess in the church you regularly attend. Go to a different church for confession until you can let this go, and spare yourself the risk of getting the same priest next week too so you wont have new issues of feeling bitter or worse… “turned off” by confession.

Well, my confessor should be back sometime this week (Deo Gratias!!!) I’ve had some bad experiences in the confessional, but have never been turned off by it.

Again, if you did not feel the presence of Jesus, you need to find out why there is no connection. If you dont feel Jesus’ presence, your state of mind needs to adjust and needs to get spiritually tuned in. The priest is transparent (figuratively speaking), and you really are confessing to Jesus. If you dont feel his presence, you are not ready for confession at that time…

Actually, I went into the confessional totally focused on Jesus being behind the curtain. When the priest began saying what he said (again, totally unrelating to my confession but commenting on my personal life choices) that’s when the feeling of Jesus left and I remembered the reason I stopped going to this priest years ago.

If anyone out there disagrees with this, please correct me. Is there such a thing as confessing so regularly, that you loose the feeling of remorse and dont feel Jesus’ presence? even before you open your mouth, or the priest has a chance to dissapoint us? Know what I mean? When I go, I am crying before I even begin…

I know what your saying, but I don’t believe that one has to be shedding tears in order to “prove” repentance. I have cried once in the confessional. In the last two years I have cried over two things: the death of my Jason, and the literal torture undergone by my Mitch. My sister is the same way, we’ve trained ourselves over the years to *not *cry. It’s just “naturally” suppressed, we don’t do it. I can’t put off confession just because I’m not going to weep for my sins; I’ve not been given that grace yet. I do feel awful for my sins, and when I confess regularly, I do leave feeling cleansed, comforted in the fact that I have been absolved, trusting in the mercy of my Father.

Maybe that is why you cant let this go, you are in need of that ‘spiritual connection’. Yikes…I am going way off the original thread here…forgive me.

It’s not about letting it go. Had I committed idolatry, fornication, cold-blooded murder, I might feel differently. I’m not angry regarding his mistake; but he should not be administering the sacraments if he’s to old to remember the formula. Me saying this has nothing to do with my personal feelings towards him, it’s just a fact. I am, however, upset that he skipped the counsel and butted into my life inappropriately and then had the nerve to encourage a rather unChristian mentality. I will be praying to overcome my anger towards him for this.
I’m not angry with/condemning him for his forgetfulness. It’s a mistake, I don’t believe he did it on purpose.