Confession question

[latinmasslover]

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Did the priest use the formula --“I absolve you of your sins”. If you are concerned – maybe post a question over at Ask the Apologist forum. Don’t know if --“You’re absolved” is a valid form of absolution.

Hehehe, I realized after I turned my computer off that maybe this should’ve gone in the other forum. I’d been taught that “I absove you” must be said, just like “this is the body of Christ” doesn’t consecrate…he must say “this is My Body.” He did not do any form of absolution. Advice - penance - more advice, and then excused me. I asked for the absolution and he said he gave it, then started the prayer, stopped a few words into it, and said “your absolved.”

 

[Joannm]

you dont have to “feel” Jesus in confession. You have to confess your sins. To say that if you do’t feel Jeus then you are not prepared is wrong. Many times I have been to confession and didn’t feel anything but just knew my sins were forgiven, and that is the purpose of the Sacrament. Mother Theresa didn’t feel Jesus’ presence for 50 years, and it is said she went to confession almost every day (or so I’ve heard, not sure if it is true)

 

[Brother_John]

At this point, I wonder why you asked for opinions on the issue, since you obviously had your mind made up to begin with?

 

[latinmasslover]

At this point, I wonder why you asked for opinions on the issue, since you obviously had your mind made up to begin with?

My main concern is how I should approach the advice he gave, and if I should bring this up with the pastor. Since the absolution was not given, I was curious if I’m to fulfill my part of the confession, or if I just take it as a counseling session? And (for future reference, if I ever go to a priest who is not my director) in a valid confession, how to apply the advice?

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

One way to avoid advice in the future is to stick to the bare bones. Name the sin and give the frequency and don’t elaborate. That way, the priest won’t know if your living situation or your finances or whatever you really don’t need his advice on.

That said, I tend to use the priest for advice and stuff all the time, but I really don’t know where else to get it.

 

[latinmasslover]

One way to avoid advice in the future is to stick to the bare bones. Name the sin and give the frequency and don’t elaborate. That way, the priest won’t know if your living situation or your finances or whatever you really don’t need his advice on.

That said, I tend to use the priest for advice and stuff all the time, but I really don’t know where else to get it.

That’s just it, I didn’t give details, that’s what caught me off guard. I didn’t think that at 90+ years, and me being behind the curtain, that he’d recognize my voice (especially since I’ve only talked with him maybe two or three times in the last year), because he usually seems to be hard of hearing.

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

That’s just it, I didn’t give details, that’s what caught me off guard. I didn’t think that at 90+ years, and me being behind the curtain, that he’d recognize my voice (especially since I’ve only talked with him maybe two or three times in the last year), because he usually seems to be hard of hearing.

OK, then… give the guy a break and also give him a wide berth. At his age, he may just be… crotchety and old and who knows what else. Try to not let it bother you. Pray for him.

 

[ac_claire]

And how did I seem judgmental? I stated facts about his views and did not use his name. He once (that I’m aware of) almost forgot the words of Consecration at Mass. I’m not passing judgment, I just don’t think that he should be administering the sacraments when he doesn’t remember the words to the sacraments (something that is not optional).

latinmasslover,

You have valid concerns, I’d say.
The only proper thing would be to bring it up with the head pastor. I know you think that won’t be fruitful --and you may be right-- but it could be argued that you’re obliged to anyway, since this is a validty-of-sacraments issue.

But as for posting about it here…Although you say you’re not passing judgement, your post very clearly says otherwise. Your concerns are valid, but what good will come out of presenting the problem -in public- here the way you have? IMO, more than a few threads here lately have crossed the line into uncharitable and unhealthy territory. I’m not excusing myself, because I feel compelled to read these threads and I’ve contributed some posts that I later regretted. But I’m saying this trend toward a negative, hyper-critical perspective can’t be a good thing.

As for this:

He told me: holy people confess weekly, everyone else should go monthly…(didn’t make sense to me).

I’ve always thought it’s better to err on the side of being a little too scrupulous than being a little less scrupulous than we should be. On this point, my advice would be to keep going to confession when you feel you need to. (Which…seems like you’ve already come to that conclusion! ) And in addition to bringing this incident up with the head pastor or the priest in question himself, maybe mention it the next time you go to confession (humbly, as a question). And I hope you’ll get some more clarity and resolution this way.

There’s my 2 cents, for what it’s worth.

God Bless!

 

[Joannm]

latinmasslover,

You have valid concerns, I’d say.
The only proper thing would be to bring it up with the head pastor. I know you think that won’t be fruitful --and you may be right-- but it could be argued that you’re obliged to anyway, since this is a validty-of-sacraments issue.

But as for posting about it here…Although you say you’re not passing judgement, your post very clearly says otherwise. Your concerns are valid, but what good will come out of presenting the problem -in public- here the way you have? IMO, more than a few threads here lately have crossed the line into uncharitable and unhealthy territory. I’m not excusing myself, because I feel compelled to read these threads and I’ve contributed some posts that I later regretted. But I’m saying this trend toward a negative, hyper-critical perspective can’t be a good thing.

As for this:

I’ve always thought it’s better to err on the side of being a little too scrupulous than being a little less scrupulous than we should be. On this point, my advice would be to keep going to confession when you feel you need to. (Which…seems like you’ve already come to that conclusion! ) And in addition to bringing this incident up with the head pastor or the priest in question himself, maybe mention it the next time you go to confession (humbly, as a question). And I hope you’ll get some more clarity and resolution this way.

There’s my 2 cents, for what it’s worth.

God Bless!

Bringing up something talked about in confession with the pastor would probably go nowhere as the priest in question cannot disuss any part of that confession with the pastor. He could not defend himself or even admit that he said or did not say something. The pastor would respect the seal of confession and not ask another priest about a confession he heard.

 

[ac_claire]

Bringing up something talked about in confession with the pastor would probably go nowhere as the priest in question cannot disuss any part of that confession with the pastor…

you’re right, I didn’t think of that.

I would tell the next priest I go to the gist of what happened and what my concerns were. (Not about the first priest, but
personal concerns, ie: was my sin absolved?, am I breaking penace?, etc.) Doesn’t need to be a big issue.

 

[latinmasslover]

But as for posting about it here…Although you say you’re not passing judgement, your post very clearly says otherwise. Your concerns are valid, but what good will come out of presenting the problem -in public- here the way you have? IMO, more than a few threads here lately have crossed the line into uncharitable and unhealthy territory. I’m not excusing myself, because I feel compelled to read these threads and I’ve contributed some posts that I later regretted. But I’m saying this trend toward a negative, hyper-critical perspective can’t be a good thing.

God Bless!

Understood, but that’s why I didn’t specify the parish or his name. Just wanted some feedback on a couple of things, thought I’d get semi-specific because sometimes that makes the difference in the advice given. My intention wasn’t to slam him.

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

I have been tempted to post concerns about things said by a parish priest in confession, too. I didn’t because I didn’t know if I’d get any good feedback (I thought it might fuel the fires of people with agendas.) I think that you were clearly looking for advice and insight and I don’t think you sinned by posting your concern. I didn’t take your problem as being an issue of “Traditionalism” but, rather, as a personal dynamic thing involving an aging cranky priest and a possibly scrupulous lay person. I would also be perturbed if I didn’t hear the formula for absolution and, if the priest had done what you say he did, I’d be put out.

I hope, though, that you take the advice about just letting this go and avoiding this priest in the future. I don’t think much good would come from complaining about him. Just pray for the guy.

 

[AMDGJMJ2]

A.C.J. ICXC A.M.D.G. MPOV A.C.M.

•                  -------             J.M.J.           ---------           +
                                           +

Dear Latinmasslover,
If I was in your place, and if I felt doubtful that I had recieved absolution…I would try to find a holy or more traditional priest, and go to confession again.
There have been times when I came to like situations myself…I do hope that you find peace…

Yours in Christ,
AMDGJMJ2

 

[jmcrae]

My main concern is how I should approach the advice he gave, and if I should bring this up with the pastor. Since the absolution was not given, I was curious if I’m to fulfill my part of the confession, or if I just take it as a counseling session? And (for future reference, if I ever go to a priest who is not my director) in a valid confession, how to apply the advice?

It seems to me that you intended to go to Confession, and to make a good Confession. For all intents and purposes, from Jesus’ point of view, you did - the priest is held accountable for his own issues, but you are not; his problems are not your problem.

That having been said, I sympathize and I agree that it would not be the best idea to go to him ever again. “Choose wisely the physician of thy soul,” says Origen. The bit about weekly confession only being for the holy strikes me as odd - aren’t we all supposed to be holy?

 

[FrRJBoyd]

To traditional Catholics,

In Confession, we’re bound to the penance (duh) but not necessarily to the advice, true?

I went to Confession today (my regular confessor is gone on vacation to Colombia) and had to choose between two pretty liberal and modern priests…I don’t remember leaving a Confessional with so much disgust in my life! Anyway, the advice today was pretty modern, and he forgot to give absolution. I reminded him, he started the prayer, then said I was absolved (before finishing it).

Unless he completed at least “I absolve your of your sins in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” (which comes at the end), you were not absolved. The priest simulated a sacrament, and should be reported to his bishop.

Does this even count as a Confession? I performed my penance for the sake of obedience, but the advice was awful. Should the advice be followed? (part of the advice was to not confess weekly). Facts are desired, opinions welcomed. Thanks to all in advance.

One other thing, I believe I should bring this up with the head pastor…but I have a feeling he’ll do nothing about it because that’s just the way he is. If this happens, should I go to the bishop? What do I do afterwards, if the bishop continues to let him hear confessions? He’s forgotten the absolution before (with other people), so some are confessing and not being absolved? After going to the bishop, is there anything that can be done, or does it become something that has to be given to God only? Thanks again.

You are only bound to fulfill the penance, but since this was not even valid, you are not even bound to that. You are never bound to accept the advice.

If you can get other people to tell the bishop (or sign your letter), verifying that this priest is not giving sacramental absolution, it will go a long way, hopefully, in putting a stop to this abuse. If not, it will be on the bishop’s conscience.

Don’t be discouraged; keep the faith!

Fr. Boyd

 

[Joannm]

Unless he completed at least “I absolve your of your sins in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” (which comes at the end), you were not absolved. The priest simulated a sacrament, and should be reported to his bishop.

You are only bound to fulfill the penance, but since this was not even valid, you are not even bound to that. You are never bound to accept the advice.

If you can get other people to tell the bishop (or sign your letter), verifying that this priest is not giving sacramental absolution, it will go a long way, hopefully, in putting a stop to this abuse. If not, it will be on the bishop’s conscience.

Don’t be discouraged; keep the faith!

Fr. Boyd

I would give the priest a break. The OP said he was 90 years old. Who knows, he could have begun saying the prayer of absolution while the OP was saying the Act of Contrition. That has happened to me quite a few times. In the old time confessional I never even heard the priest saying absolution and since it was in Latin if I did hear him I had no idea if he was saying it right or n ot, so for all I know he didn’t say it at all.

 

[FrRJBoyd]

I would give the priest a break. The OP said he was 90 years old. Who knows, he could have begun saying the prayer of absolution while the OP was saying the Act of Contrition. That has happened to me quite a few times. In the old time confessional I never even heard the priest saying absolution and since it was in Latin if I did hear him I had no idea if he was saying it right or n ot, so for all I know he didn’t say it at all.

I didn’t read the fact that he was 90; it is obviously not out of malice for the sacrament on the priest’s part, and a great deal of charity is needed. But still, if he did not give the form, the confession is not valid. It is the same with an old priest who has forgotten to say the words of consecration. The Mass is invalid. In charity, he needs to be told he cannot offer the sacraments if he cannot supply the form. This is for his sake as well as for the sake of the Church. It is painful, but akin to having to take the keys away from an elderly person who is at grave risk of injuring himself or others because of his lack of ability to drive well.