Confession Question

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AussieAnn

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Does anyone here when they go to confession instead of having a list of sins is: lying, improper thoughts etc just give a general broad confession. Like I am very sorry for the times when I have damaged the relationship with the Lord by my sins and from my turning away, or something to that affect? I hope you know what I’m getting at. Would you consider this type of confession a valid confession if true repentance was felt in the heart? It’s just that I’m not a good list maker and I don’t like the thought of going in with a shopping list type of attitude. Could you people please help? THANKS!!
 
Confess the sins you remember, and don’t worry about the sins you’ve forgotten. If you should remember them later, confess them at the next Confession. But you must confess sins, such as lying or masturbation, not general offenses, such as betrayal of the Lord, because you go to Confession for forgiveness of sins.
 
Mortal sins must be confessed in number and kind.

It is not necessary to confess all your venial sins (the “laundry list” approach). In fact, some spiritual writers maintain that it is better if you do not — that you should confess one or two that are giving you the most trouble, for which you have a serious purpose of amendment (the “divide and conquer” approach).

I think what you describe is too general. In order for the sacrament to be valid, you must confess at least one sin that you have actually committed (assuming there are no mortal sins, all of which must be confessed).
 
AussieAnn said:
Does anyone here when they go to confession instead of having a list of sins is: lying, improper thoughts etc just give a general broad confession. Like I am very sorry for the times when I have damaged the relationship with the Lord by my sins and from my turning away, or something to that affect? I hope you know what I’m getting at. Would you consider this type of confession a valid confession if true repentance was felt in the heart? It’s just that I’m not a good list maker and I don’t like the thought of going in with a shopping list type of attitude. Could you people please help? THANKS!!
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I don’t like the “laundry list” approach. I often say something similar, such as I have been having trouble in a certain area but be very general about it. Usually these are veniel sins and can encompass a few of them in a general area. Since I have been going to the same confessor for 8 years he pretty much knows what I am talking about but sometimes he will ask for a clarification and we talk about it. My confessions are more like conversations than a formal listing. That sounds to me what you are looking for…so find a good confessor and stick with him.
 
I always confess whatever I feel I need to confess whether it seems petty or not, it is really about the individual person and what sins they feel the need to confess, Do worry so much about what to confess it is that you feel the need to go to confession, there are other people that feel the same way that you do, and I am sure they are little hung too, Anyway what ever you say to the priest is under The Seal of Confession.
 
If time permits before confession, I recommend sitting with the Blessed Sacrament. Ask God to think about your sins with you. There may be sins that we are not aware of and He will help with that. Obviously, confess any mortal sins. If there is an area in your life that you are struggling with (mortal or venial in nature) talk with the priest about it. Many times, if I’m struggling with venial sins, the priest can help me with that as well. Remember that God gives special graces in all of the Sacraments.
 
The list method is not for me. I am conversational. (However, it is important to be succint, as we want to get to the point without rambling.) I have on more than one occasion been told by the priest that I gave a good confession, when I gave my confession in a conversational manner.
 
Since my memory is now somewhat like a sieve (my thoughts are the flour, falling through). 😊 I usually make a brief notation of my sins on a slip of paper… to use as a memory “prompter”.

I look at it, but speak freely when confessing. In other words, I try not to sound like I’m reading from a cue card. lol. But I know that this method isn’t for everyone. I think the advice you’ve been given here is excellent. God bless.
 
I think you should be specific about your mortal sins (it is therapeutic to actually ‘say’ them…God already knows them, the priest is unshockable…he’s heard it all before and probably worse…Confession is ‘for’ us to admit our sins to ourself and come to be healed.). It is such a gift (though it is tough sometimes…at least for me!)

As far as your venial sins, they are probably so numerous (since we all do little sins all day long) I think a good general suffices…it can spiral off into nitpickiness and the dreaded ‘scrupulosity’…a lot of our sins just stream from our imperfections which obviously need to stay in good healthy ‘check’.

I know with me, Jesus has healed many a mortal sin (some were habits that needed to be routed out.) He didn’t do it all at once…he allowed me to struggle with it and keep coming back and building my humility and perseverence. There are some things I would never do again and all the attraction to the sins I used to struggle with (that were big) is gone and I am fully aware in my heart that it is on grace alone that I don’t struggle with them anymore. I don’t think if I had been ‘general’ on those that I perhaps would have been healed of them or as quickly.

I guess if you are avoiding specificity to ‘save face’ then you may not be getting all the grace you could. If you are doing it because you haven’t prepared well for Confession, or like me, I sometimes forget stuff when I get in there then generality isn’t too bad (on stuff that isn’t mortal.) Just be brutally honest with yourself about your motivations.

Gosh…we are so lucky to have Confession!!! I don’t know how Protestants cope…I feel like a spoiled Christian child…God’s so good~ You will be in my prayers for all your needs and intentions! God bless:thumbsup:
 
6boymom said:
Gosh…we are so lucky to have Confession!!! I don’t know how Protestants cope…I feel like a spoiled Christian child…God’s so good~
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At the risk of “hi-jacking” this thread… (sorry Ann! :hug1: ) I just wanted to agree with this, wholeheartedly! What a great witness to our holy faith! Thank you, “mom”. God bless.
 
my opinion on whether OP’s confession would be valid is immaterial. the way to confess your sins is to confess your sins by kind and number. That means to name your sins. The whole purpose of confessing to another person is to put a name to the sin, because you cannot begin to conquer it until you admit it.
 
I would strongly advise against “non-specific” confession.

I have made a confession similar to what the OP is proposing. It seemed right at the time, and I was given absolution, but in retrospect I would say it was the worst confession I have ever made. It was like going to a doctor and saying, “I’m not going into details, but I just don’t feel right.” What is your confessor supposed to do with that?

Going to Holy Communion wipes away venial sin. One of the reasons to go to the Sacrament of Reconcilliation is the specific healing of wounds and formation of conscience that it provides. (I hope it goes without saying that if the sin is mortal, it is absolutely necessary to be specific about the nature of the sin! Otherwise, the gravity of what you are confessing might not be clear.)

Take the time and effort to examine your conscience for those sins that pose the greatest obstacle to your relationship with the Lord. Confess those. It is worth it.
 
You should confess the sins that you know and remember. e.g. lying, stealing, improper thoughts, etc. I always end my confessions with “And all the sins which I cannot remember at this time I ask forgiveness for.” Do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

God Bless! +
 
EasterJoy said:
I would strongly advise against “non-specific” confession.
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I agree. That’s why I prefer conversational confession. It gets to the heart of the matter. You tell the priest what you did, the circumstances surrounding it, etc. It’s so much more specific than “I lied 5 times.”
 
You can’t really confess to generalities. Mortal sins must be named specifically. Venial sins don’t have to be confessed at all, but if you do confess them, it’s better to confess one specific sin that you’re trying to overcome, than to speak in generalities.
 
I was taught to confess in kind and number also. For example if you missed Mass once since your last confession you would say, "I missed Mass on one Sunday, (holy day), whatever the circumstances might be is not something you need to go into. From what I understand, Father doesn’t want to know the details anyway. If he doesn’t understand something you are saying, or if he wants more information, he’ll ask.
 
AussieAnn said:
Does anyone here when they go to confession instead of having a list of sins is: lying, improper thoughts etc just give a general broad confession. Like I am very sorry for the times when I have damaged the relationship with the Lord by my sins and from my turning away, or something to that affect? I hope you know what I’m getting at. Would you consider this type of confession a valid confession if true repentance was felt in the heart? It’s just that I’m not a good list maker and I don’t like the thought of going in with a shopping list type of attitude. Could you people please help? THANKS!!
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If your sins are mortal,{ which means you indeed know they are] you must state them individually by number and kind to the best of your ability. Each of them must be submitted to “the power of the keys of heaven”.-- You will find any further confusion is probably removed along with the sins! Venial sins do not need to be specified or even confessed in the sacrament, but it can be quite helpful in overcoming areas of weakness…

btw- lying can be a mortal sin and impure thoughts, if consented to, are.
 
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