Confession question

[Susan_Calvin]

Just a simple question… since priests in the Eastern rites are allowed to marry, can their spouses and children go to confession to them, or is this discouraged as inappropriate? Just curious, thanks!

 

[Tradycja]

I was told by my Eastern friends that this is discouraged. The children and spouse would go to another priest. Basically this would be an improper mix of the internal and external forums. The same principle would apply that does not allow a religious superior to normally hear the confession of his subject.

I wouldn’t know how to quote any rules on this though, but this is what my friends said when I asked them.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

OK thanks, that’s a good explanation actually, and using the example of the religious superior makes sense to me too. I suppose though if there were no other priest available, they would have to go to him out of necessity? Though that wouldn’t be a common situation hopefully.

 

[Liraco]

Interesting question and I certainly imagine that it would be discouraged. “Discouraged” means, however, that it’s still possible. If the spouse or child was dying or if they had no one else to turn to for a mortal sin, I think you’d agree that the state of their soul is more important than any awkwardness.

I’m reminded of Father Corapi who talks about his conversion briefly, and mentions that at one point (8:10 in the video) his dad went to him to confession (50 years since his last one!) It’s 10 minutes of you can spare the time.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Thanks I will listen to it. Good point about parents going to their sons who are priests… I never thought about this occuring in the Latin rite but I guess it certainly could if your son or brother was a priest…

A bit off topic, but my one and only boyfriend as a teen (we had a very innocent relationship, just played Nintendo together mostly! ) has become a priest. I have wondered lately about confessing to him. He is in the USA and I’m not, but still… Should the situation ever arise I do wonder about the appropriateness of it. We really were more just friends than anything, so it would likely fall under the category of confessing to a priest who is also your personal friend. Though, I’m not sure I’d want to unless it was absolutely necessary.

 

[Joannm]

Thanks I will listen to it. Good point about parents going to their sons who are priests… I never thought about this occuring in the Latin rite but I guess it certainly could if your son or brother was a priest…

A bit off topic, but my one and only boyfriend as a teen (we had a very innocent relationship, just played Nintendo together mostly! ) has become a priest. I have wondered lately about confessing to him. He is in the USA and I’m not, but still… Should the situation ever arise I do wonder about the appropriateness of it. We really were more just friends than anything, so it would likely fall under the category of confessing to a priest who is also your personal friend. Though, I’m not sure I’d want to unless it was absolutely necessary.

I confess to a priest who is a good personal friend. I rather like it instead of confessing to a stranger or to my pastor.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Ah OK that’s interesting, thanks for sharing! I guess I won’t know for sure how I feel one way or the other until after I’ve converted.

 

[Aramis]

As a side note: our deacon-candidate is not permitted to go to the pastor for confession; he has to go to a priest outside the parish for confession.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Just a simple question… since priests in the Eastern rites are allowed to marry, can their spouses and children go to confession to them, or is this discouraged as inappropriate? Just curious, thanks!

Just a note of clarification.

Priests, no matter what Church they are in, are not allowed to marry.

Married men are ordained to the priesthood.

 

[Liraco]

A bit off topic, but my one and only boyfriend as a teen (we had a very innocent relationship, just played Nintendo together mostly! ) has become a priest. I have wondered lately about confessing to him. He is in the USA and I’m not, but still… Should the situation ever arise I do wonder about the appropriateness of it. We really were more just friends than anything, so it would likely fall under the category of confessing to a priest who is also your personal friend. Though, I’m not sure I’d want to unless it was absolutely necessary.

I didn’t know you were a gamer too, that’s cool.

Interesting that he’s a priest now. So many holy people all around you! I don’t think there’s a big problem with confessing to him if you really wanted to, though I’d imagine seeing him in confession first would not be the best way to meet again.

And Br. David brings up a good point, they can be married but only before becoming a priest (perhaps you’d agree that seeing a priest courting a woman would be quite odd).

 

[Aramis]

A bit off topic, but my one and only boyfriend as a teen (we had a very innocent relationship, just played Nintendo together mostly! ) has become a priest. I have wondered lately about confessing to him. He is in the USA and I’m not, but still… Should the situation ever arise I do wonder about the appropriateness of it. We really were more just friends than anything, so it would likely fall under the category of confessing to a priest who is also your personal friend. Though, I’m not sure I’d want to unless it was absolutely necessary.

If it makes you uncomfortable, then it would be appropriate, if not suffering from grave sins and not in danger of death, to choose a different confessor, even if it takes a week or so. If, however, you are suffering from grave sins, or are in danger of death, better to be shriven.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Just a note of clarification.

Priests, no matter what Church they are in, are not allowed to marry.

Married men are ordained to the priesthood.

Yes I was aware of that. Sorry if I worded it incorrectly. Thanks to everyone who’s responded to this thread.

 

[Ben_F]

My only disconfort, outside of the sin itself, is the repetition of my confessions. If I was a priest, I would certainly be annoyed by the same sin over and over again. Would I confess to my son if he were a priest. Only as a last resort.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Interesting that he’s a priest now. So many holy people all around you! I don’t think there’s a big problem with confessing to him if you really wanted to, though I’d imagine seeing him in confession first would not be the best way to meet again.

It was more of a hypothetical question… we don’t even live in the same country at this point. When I said he lived in the USA I misspoke, actually he’s in Canada now! My bad. So even when I move back to the States, I doubt I’ll ever have to go to confession to him. And if I was visiting his city and he was the only priest available, I’m sure it be worth any embarrassment, rather than putting off confessing unneccesarily.
BenF:

My only disconfort, outside of the sin itself, is the repetition of my confessions. If I was a priest, I would certainly be annoyed by the same sin over and over again. Would I confess to my son if he were a priest. Only as a last resort.

Yes me too. I think I would only confess to someone that close to me if it were really necessary… I was just thinking, again of another hypothetical situation, but… if you lived in a remote area and the only priest available was a relative of yours, I think it would be pretty difficult, though I suppose you would get used to it. I’m glad I live in a big city!

 

[Ben_F]

Susan and Judith, thanks for you reply.

 

[bpbasilphx]

I was told by a Ukrainian Catholic priest that he cannot hear the confessions of his parents or wife, but can hear those of his own children.

Whether this is a particular UCC canon or what, I don’t know.