Confession question

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QuoPrimum

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If you have a sin that you are doubtful that it is mortal or not, but you just go ahead and confess it AS MORTAL…is this a wrong thing to do?

I have the book called “Moral Theology” by Fr. Heribert Jone and it doesn’t really cover this. It does however say that you can make a bad confession if you are questioned by the priest and then you exaggerate. But it says ignorance on the part of the penitent can excuse culpability in most cases.

Also, there is another sin I confessed which I was not absolutely sure I committed, but since I had other mortal sins that I committed that same night, I assumed it was and planned to just confess it as mortal. However, when I got to confession I started to present it as “I think I consented to such and such a thing” but then in mid sentence I changed it to “I am pretty sure I consented to such and such a thing…” Did I make a bad confession by doing this?

Would it be okay if I went to communion at daily Mass the next few days until I can get to a good priest to clarify this?

I am kind of in a dilemma about this. Please advise. I don’t have very good priests that are knowledgeable in moral theology in my area, nor are they very traditional. Even the TLM priests are not that great here.
 
Strictly speaking one is not obligated to confess “doubtful mortal sins”.

For the are “doubtful”.

One with an ordinary conscience can be recommended to do so.

It can be good…for peace…formation of conscience …for whatever sin was there…etc

The* lax* can be especially recommended to do so.

The* scrupulous* or those with some degree of scruples can be recommended not to confess doubtful mortal sins (or doubtful sins period) (they can speak with their confessor who knows them…and seek his advice on if to do so…or if not).

If one confesses a sin which is doubtful. Yes one needs to state in one way or another that it is not certain…that it is doubtful…that your not sure…

and of course since one is not obliged to confess them per se…one can always intend to include them indirectly…under the “all the sins of my life” that one can add for all the sins one is sorry for…
 
First of all, many people mention matter in the confessional that isn’t sinful - they may, for example, be seeking clarification as to whether something was a sin or not. Or the priest may correct them about something they mistakenly think is a sin but really isn’t. So there’s nothing wrong in doing so.

How does what you said count as confessing to a mortal sin? Or a venial one?

You simply described, to the best of your ability, what it was that you did. You didn’t SAY ‘and it was a mortal sin’ or ‘and it was a venial sin’, did you? If you did, it’s ill-advised to do so, as there are a number of grey areas.

If I go into a confessional and simply say ‘I called in sick to work today when I wasn’t really sick’ and leave it at that, it doesn’t invalidate the confession, regardless of whether it was mortal or venial or no sin at all. It’s prudent though, if you are unsure, to put the situation to your priest in the form of a question or with a statement such as ‘I did xyz and think it might be a sin’

Exaggerating can be wrong - but I think it would have to be serious exaggeration so that what you say is very different to the reality of what actually happened. If you took a small sip of alcohol and suffered no ill effect of it, but in the confessional say ‘I committed the sin of drunkenness’, then that would be the sort of thing that might invalidate your confession. Assuming that you knew that having a sip of alcohol didn’t constitute drunkenness.

Short answer - I don’t think any sensible adult (and I’m sure you’re sensible) would knowingly manufacture sins or knowingly exaggerate their sins. Someone who misstates accidentally or because they’re unsure doesn’t invalidate the confession.

There’s really little difference, really, between ‘I think’ and ‘I am pretty sure’ - so as long as you DO think, or ARE pretty sure, that you did the thing when you confessed, you’re fine.
 
As to your confession…sometimes one can get nervous and end up wording things not as one intended…we sometimes do not control our tongues as we would like 🙂

It would seem at the time of your confession that you …judged that you were almost certain that you consented to it and said so.

But later you just “feared” that you lied.

Correct?
You were not going in and thinking…hum this week I am going to tell him I committed murderrrr…

Or one committed adultery and thinks…hum…I will just say instead “lustful thoughts”…

those would be clear examples of what we should not do.
 
QuoPrimum said:
Also, there is another sin I confessed which I was not absolutely sure I committed, but since I had other mortal sins that I committed that same night, I assumed it was and planned to just confess it as mortal. However, when I got to confession I started to present it as “I think I consented to such and such a thing” but then in mid sentence I changed it to “I am pretty sure I consented to such and such a thing…” Did I make a bad confession by doing this?

Would it be okay if I went to communion at daily Mass the next few days until I can get to a good priest to clarify this?..
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Stumbling over your words is not a sin! And it sounds like that’s all you did 🙂 So yes your confession is valid, and you may receive communion.

Confession is not a mechanical process. Christ is a living person who listens to your sins through the priest and offers his forgiveness through the words of absolution.

Trust in Christ’s mercy! Don’t treat Him like a computer (and no, you don’t have to confess treating Him like a computer ;))
 
Bookcat said:
It would seem at the time of your confession that you …judged that you were almost certain that you consented to it and said so.

But later you just “feared” that you lied.

Correct?
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Yeah that about sums it up.
 
QuoPrimum said:
Yeah that about sums it up.
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Sounds like you have your answer 🙂

Lying in confession in a way that invalidates the confession is when lie about some mortal sin…(something necessary for the confession) like you commit fornication and you intentionally say just “I had some lustful thoughts” or it was 10x and you intentionally say 2x …or on the other end …you go in an start making up mortal sins that you know you did not commit…say to “look bad”

…

sometimes when some persons are trying to be “as honest as possible” they try too hard and say it in some way one did not plan…but out of trying to be very honest…and later thinks …oh oh…did I lie…maybe that was not the case exactly…??

when all they were doing was trying to be completely honest…
 
PS: one does not have to be “absolutely certain” in regards to a mortal sin…rather one can be morally certain in regards to a mortal sin. (though for some with scrupulosity they may be given a principle by their confessor in regards to being as certain as 2 +2 is 4…that sort of thing…)

In both cases one “accuses” oneself of mortal sin in kind and number (and circumstance that change the nature of the sin…like it was ones brother that on murdered).

But as I noted above …it is different with “doubtful mortal sin” …that a mortal sin that is not even morally certain …one that is “doubtful” that it was committed…one doubts that one gave for example full consent…one is not strictly required to confess such…but readers can see my first post above for more detail.
 
It is pretty hard to invalidate an honestly made confession. You, presumably, made a thorough and honest examination of conscience, and then confessed your sins. If you confessed all of your mortal sins, but later remember that you forgot a venial sin, it is forgiven- the only exception is if you leave out sins deliberately. Not knowing whether or not a confessed sin is mortal or venial has absolutely no effect on absolution. You confessed the sin, honestly- and to the best of your memory and knowledge- and it is forgiven. Confession is not a trap.

If you are not sure if a sin is mortal or not, confess it. It will be forgiven either way. If you want to know, ask a priest. If there is not a line of others waiting for confession, go ahead and ask him in the confessional.
 
Another PS if I may…the moral theology text you have …can be of use still…but really it is out dated a good deal. The Second Vatican Council called for a renewal of moral Theology…and there has been such a renewal in many ways.

Take care in using such. Some things are very out of date…even in the sense of canon law changing with the new 1983 code…etc…and the manualistic approach can suffer in various ways (and could produce some scruples for readers of today …for much has changed)
 
QuoPrimum said:
"…there is another sin I confessed which I was not absolutely sure I committed, but since I had other mortal sins that I committed that same night, I assumed it was and planned to just confess it as mortal. However, when I got to confession I started to present it as “I think I consented to such and such a thing” but then in mid sentence I changed it to “I am pretty sure I consented to such and such a thing…”
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Are you so intoxicated that you don’t know what you’ve done?
 
Bookcat said:
I am not particularly fond of this examine…some subjective opinion here and there…and he mixes in venial sins and imperfections together.
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It’s the best examination I’ve found online. If you have a better one, mention it.

P.S. Venial and imperfections, is splitting hairs, in my opinion.
 
Do you have another online examination of conscience guide to recommend?
 
Barbkw said:
Do you have another online examination of conscience guide to recommend?
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I do not use one…so I really do not have an “online” one to recommend…

But I imagine there are a number out there to choose from.
 
I really hate these examination of conscience lists…they practically make waking up and breathing a sin…
Take this one for example: Under the 1st commandment there is listed Simony - buying or selling spiritual things. wouldn’t that make purchasing a cross, or a holy medal or a bible or a rosary a sin…and yet every one of us owns all of these items. And this is listed as a Mortal Sin…come on

Venial Sins…Playing Dungeon & Dragons or similair game…really…how is this a sin? Nagging your spouse or children…how else is anything going to get done? Fighting with a sibling…ummmm anyone else ever heard of sibling rivalry? Smoking or using chewing tobacco; drinking alcohol;

On the list on fatima.org…going to the beach is a sin.
 
Maureen1125 said:
I really hate these examination of conscience lists…they practically make waking up and breathing a sin…
Take this one for example: Under the 1st commandment there is listed Simony - buying or selling spiritual things. wouldn’t that make purchasing a cross, or a holy medal or a bible or a rosary a sin…and yet every one of us owns all of these items. And this is listed as a Mortal Sin…come on

Venial Sins…Playing Dungeon & Dragons or similair game…really…how is this a sin? Nagging your spouse or children…how else is anything going to get done? Fighting with a sibling…ummmm anyone else ever heard of sibling rivalry? Smoking or using chewing tobacco; drinking alcohol;

On the list on fatima.org…going to the beach is a sin.
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It is true that simony is a sin…and can be a mortal sin…but it does not mean buying cross etc…simony means selling things like relics or if a priest charged you to hear your confession!

(but it is not a sin to go to a shop any buy a rosary…etc…that is not what he means…)

As to the others…yes there can be sins there too…such as in when things become. “excessive” or unreasonable. “nagging” (as opposed to a reasonable reminder) …excessive drinking or immodest beachwear etc…things like that…and yes fighting with a sibling too etc…and even with D&D one can argue…

But again this examine is not one I am fond of particularly as noted above.

and yes one needs to avoid seeing “sin everywhere” as well as we need to also avoid “not calling a spade a spade”…a sin a sin.

With humility we recognize that if we are living in Christ…we are “saints” we are Holy…and yet as Scripture says…the Just man sins seven times daily (seven is a number pointing beyond just an actual seven)…so we do sin venially and need to humbly work more towards living the virtues instead…

and yes while we work on avoiding deliberate sins and living virtue etc…we need certainly to keep our focus on following Christ joyfully and in love…
 
The words excessive or unreasonable do not appear in conjunction with the sins I listed. Likewise on the Mortal sin…the word “Relics” is no-where to be found. It says “Spiritual items” and each of the items I listed would qualify as a spirtual item. It does not break it down and say that buying a blessed holy medal is okay, however buying a piece of rock thought to be from the tomb of Jesus Christ is not.
 
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