Confession question

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HNA444

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I want to go to confession today; I figure it’s a good day to go since lent started. But, I have some sins (not sure if they are even sins) but thoughts that i wanted to ask a priest about because I felt like I had a bad thought but I didn’t want it and it was bothering me so I wanted to confess but haven’t yet because I don’t even know how to explain it. Would it be OK if I confessed the sins I am aware of today, and than go another day to confess this? Or, would this be an invalid confession???
 
Confess what you know to be your sins, both venial and mortal. If you have a question about it, confess it. Explaining it should not be necessary. If you feel the need to explain it, but are not prepared to do so in a very clear and concise manner, then make an appointment.

Remember that Jesus knows what is in your heart better than you do. If you do your best in remembering what to confess, you should consider the matter closed upon receiving absolution.

If you have an ongoing problem, make an appointment with a priest or spiritual director.
 
prstoessel said:
Confess what you know to be your sins, both venial and mortal. If you have a question about it, confess it. Explaining it should not be necessary. If you feel the need to explain it, but are not prepared to do so in a very clear and concise manner, then make an appointment.

Remember that Jesus knows what is in your heart better than you do. If you do your best in remembering what to confess, you should consider the matter closed upon receiving absolution.

If you have an ongoing problem, make an appointment with a priest or spiritual director.
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But, what if I want to confess the sins that I know of, today? And, I wait to make an appointment for this matter. Is it still a valid confession or no, since I left it out. ??
 
HNA444 said:
I want to go to confession today; I figure it’s a good day to go since lent started. But, I have some sins (not sure if they are even sins) but thoughts that i wanted to ask a priest about because I felt like I had a bad thought but I didn’t want it and it was bothering me so I wanted to confess but haven’t yet because I don’t even know how to explain it. Would it be OK if I confessed the sins I am aware of today, and than go another day to confess this? Or, would this be an invalid confession???
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In order for one to commit a moral sin…one needs all three of the aspects (see the Catechism or compendium). One of which is deliberate consent. This consent would need to be complete consent…so if some thought came out of the blue…and you did not give consent to the unwanted thought…no matter what it is…it would not be a mortal sin. It may not even be a venial sin.

One is obliged only to confess mortal sins. It is recommended to confess venial sins as well (some of them) but they may be otherwise intended or even forgiven in other ways…

You have to judge if it was a mortal sin. If you do judge it was so…then you would need to confess it with any other mortal sins …for a valid confession. If you do not judge it to be …then one need not confess it. One may then confess the other sins…and talk with your regular confessor later if you wish.

Those who do not have a difficulty with scruples/ scrupulosity can be recommended to confess doubtful mortal sins…those with such a difficult can be recommended not to often. Of course if something is “doubtful” one must in some way say it is “doubtful” and one also needs to not just confess “doubtful sins” …if that is all they are conscious of and they want to go to confession…they woukd add any other certain sin from the past.
 
It’s o.k. to ask questions and to confess your sins at the same Reconciliation.
 
Bookcat said:
In order for one to commit a moral sin…one needs all three of the aspects (see the Catechism or compendium). One of which is deliberate consent. This consent would need to be complete consent…so if some thought came out of the blue…and you did not give consent to the unwanted thought…no matter what it is…it would not be a mortal sin. It may not even be a venial sin.

One is obliged only to confess mortal sins. It is recommended to confess venial sins as well (some of them) but they may be otherwise intended or even forgiven in other ways…

You have to judge if it was a mortal sin. If you do judge it was so…then you would need to confess it with any other mortal sins …for a valid confession. If you do not judge it to be …then one need not confess it. One may then confess the other sins…and talk with your regular confessor later if you wish.

Those who do not have a difficulty with scruples/ scrupulosity can be recommended to confess doubtful mortal sins…those with such a difficult can be recommended not to often. Of course if something is “doubtful” one must in some way say it is “doubtful” and one also needs to not just confess “doubtful sins” …if that is all they are conscious of and they want to go to confession…they woukd add any other certain sin from the past.
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You are right, and I know that. The thing is, I know this thought was wrong, and at the moment i knew it was wrong so i tried to get the thought out of my head. is that not a mortal sin? I just want to make sure because this thought is really confusing,even for myself. and i just want to make sure i don’t have any mortal sins on me.
 
(from previous posts of mine)

Regarding thoughts

while Jesus makes it clear that one can sin in ones thoughts…just cause some lustful thought happens does not mean that one sinned…

(and one can have a sufficiently good reason to think about sexual matters…for instance studying moral theology…but care must be taken to avoid things that would be a problem…but that is another question)

What should we do with* unwanted* sexual thoughts or other bad thoughts…thoughts against God etc? Those pesky temptations that can come …even though we are not seeking them etc…

(there are of course some things we should avoid that cause them…and there can be sin if it is something one should reasonably avoid…but often they come uninvited)

First…Relax. Do not worry.

Now are they mortal sins?

For a mortal sin one needs a grave matter …full knowledge AND deliberate consent!!!

A. If you do not want the thought…it the thought displeases you: it can be a sign actually that you did not give consent or do not give full consent.

B. Even if you felt a temptation for the thought – and were drawn to it —but rejected it and maybe even turned to God : again a sign not full consent.

C. But what if one has a tempting thought --say of a sexual nature and even hesitated for a moment…but then rejected it for one did not want to sin? : it can be partial consent perhaps (and thus a venial sin)-- or it may be no sin at all but rather a strong temptation that drew you but then you saw what was happening and turned away.

D. A temptation can even be very strong or the thoughts very often – but this does NOT mean one has consented! so worry not…even it they go on for a long time…

remember --for it to be mortal there must be that deliberate consent!

What to do? on the spiritual side–relax first of all and remember the above.

Next – know that the more one fears the thoughts the more likely they are to come… or said another way --the more a person seeks to avoid the thoughts the more likely he will have a problem with them. (but do not worry about this either!)

for example: for the next 10 seconds try NOT to think of an apple.

tick tock …

tick tock…

Ok what did you think of? Most likely an apple.

So it is best to ignore them and just not consent and then turn your attention to some other good thing…for instance whatever you are doing. Simply do not consent and move on. and do not worry

another point – thoughts can just happen --they are the stuff with which we think…it is up to us to consent and take them further or not. and just because they are REAL VIVID and almost “think themselves” does not mean per se that one has given ANY consent.

they can be annoying…but need cause no actual harm …

(Now difficulties with thoughts can happen to anyone…and has for centuries…nothing new!..but I will note too that “some” have a condition known as OCD (I knew someone with this once…it was a painful experience)…and thus should seek further professional help to work at overcoming it and to live a more peaceful life)
Another help…is the distinction between “first thoughts and emotions” (as Baur calls em) what they call the prima of the prima…“the first of the first” (as one of my Professors called em…he was a Dominican)…these are involuntary things that just come up…such are not sins. They can tempt one of course to sin…or one can then proceed to some sin…but they are the stuff of the mind and emotions which “happen to one” …and really the are opportunities for growing in virtue etc as well…

How to deal with these? First of relax…don’t scruple…don’t fear them…to try to swat them all as the come…just simply turn to other things…or the thing you are doing…or to God…(of course do not consent)…but if you are too defensive against them…they may get worse actually…and confuse you more…instead turn to God or again other good things…accept that hey…somethings wild thoughts will come to you…

(and these can happen to all of us by the way…)

There is a story from the desert of the early Centuries of the Church where a younger hermit when to an older one with the problems of thoughts happening to him all the time…the older hermit told him to go outside open his cloak and catch the wind.

The younger hermit said such is not possible…

the older hermit replied --neither is it possible to stop all the thoughts that can come to you…your choice is to say “yes” or “no”.

So relax about “unwanted thoughts”…sometimes they just come…you know like unwanted phone calls from politicitians and salepersons etc…but you can always say “no thank you” or just ignore the call and go about your business
 
Remember too in addition to all I just posted above:

The classic stages of temptation when we are tempted are:
  1. Suggestion (the evil is proposed to us in some way) this can be quite attractive …can be thoughts that happen, ideas etc.
  2. Pleasure (a kind of automatic pleasure can happen from the suggestion) this pleasure can just happen…one is not “trying to have it” not wanting it…this is just a reaction.
3…then one either consents or does not consent.

(of course there can also be sin also if we willingly put ourselves in a near occasion of sin where we know we are likely to sin seriously in some area for example…like someone knows they will get drunk and loose their reason by going out with particular friends…etc )

Now it can often happen that one begins to “partially consent” but then rejects it and thus does not give full consent.

When one is tempted…

Some signs that one lacked consent or gave only “partial consent”:

If even though there was some instinctive pleasure …we do not want it…we are unhappy or horrified about the evil…or struggle to not be overcome …we turn to God in Prayer --these are some signs of no consent (if of course we stay in this stage…and do not later consent)

(For example some thoughts come out of the blue just cause one happened to see an attractive person…and one does not want the thoughts but turns to God in Prayer or is horrified by them and turns to something else etc…no matter how much they come back…if one does not consent at all…there is no sin…but rather possibly growth in virtues)

If one hesitates for a moment but then does not want to sin and so rejects it and does not give full consent (thus a fault against prudence)

If one resists but the resistance is half hearted…one does resist but it is weak or slow…but in the end one rejects it…such would seem to be half consent and thus venial

Of course if one then gives in and gives full consent…then such can be mortal…remember…partial consent or half consent is not full consent…and thus not mortal.
 
and of course…one can simply mention it in confession…“there is also some thoughts 1x In such and such an area and I am not sure I consented…or if it was serious…so as it is before God”…then bring it up with questions later with your confessor.
 
Bookcat said:
and of course…one can simply mention it in confession…“there is also some thoughts 1x In such and such an area and I am not sure I consented…or if it was serious…so as it is before God”…then bring it up with questions later with your confessor.
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Thank you! You made me feel so much better about this. It has been bugging me bc this thought is something i would be ashamed to even say outloud. By writing this out, I bring back my thoughts, and know i didn’t want the thought bc right after i was trying to steer away from it. But, the fact that I can’t even explain it sufficiently bothered me more, because at least i could confess exactly what the thought was. I will bring it up best i can to my confessor, but is it OK if i say thoughts or should i say the exact thought? bc to be quite honest, i don’t know how to explain it and i don;t want to make my thought better, worse or different than what it was.
 
Barbkw said:
It’s o.k. to ask questions and to confess your sins at the same Reconciliation.
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Agreed. You should not hold back any sins you have. You should confess them all. Otherwise you are only forgiven for those sins you have confessed and withholding sins from your confession is not wise since it would a) still leave you in a state of sin b) willfully withholding sins at confession does not show a contrite and humble heart which is what you need to have a valid confession.

I would confess your sins and also ask questions. One thing you can do is book an appointment with the priest and talk to him about it and then have confession at the meeting (let the priest know it will be a meeting and confession). Priests always love to hear confessions (the good ones) and a priest cannot refuse to hear a confession if they are asked.
 
HNA444 said:
Thank you! You made me feel so much better about this. It has been bugging me bc this thought is something i would be ashamed to even say outloud. By writing this out, I bring back my thoughts, and know i didn’t want the thought bc right after i was trying to steer away from it. But, the fact that I can’t even explain it sufficiently bothered me more, because at least i could confess exactly what the thought was. I will bring it up best i can to my confessor, but is it OK if i say thoughts or should i say the exact thought? bc to be quite honest, i don’t know how to explain it and i don;t want to make my thought better, worse or different than what it was.
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This may be of help: jimmyakin.typepad.com/defensor_fidei/2007/03/specific_confes.html

Rmember…only mortal sins need to be confessed…so if it was not a mortal sin…on can even not mention it directly and intend it in the ‘all the sins of your life’ at the end of your confession ( that one is sorry for…) but when discussing it with your regular confessor …he can help you in what he needs to know in answering your question.

Feel free to pm me if I can be of further help
 
Labarum said:
I agree but if you specifically remember any venial sins then it is prudent to confess them.
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I can be very good…and is recommended greatly to confess venial sins…

but one need not try to “get em all…” and it can be good to particularly zero in on some of them in particular.
 
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