Confession Question

[alyssa]

What are the rules regarding confession under normal circumstance?

I went last sat, it was exteremely different from my usual church. It was probably fine, and i doubt the priest would do anything that wasn’t ok, but it left me feeling unsettled. I discussed it with a friend who is usually well versed in these things, but we disagreed, so I’ll see what you all thingk

Ok, confession is in the priests office. This is scheduled confession every week.

There is only face to face, no confessional or screen or nothing- the door locks from the outside, so he comes and opens it for you.

He has the purple stole on, but his collar is undone, (this bugged me quite a bit- if a priest is acting in offical capacity for something scheduled like that, I’d expect him to look like a priest).

So you sit across from him, he is behind his desk, you are on the other side. I am used to kneeling anonymously, it wouldn’t have been so weird if I could have at least kneeled…he didn’t tell me not to, but asked me to sit and with everything else, I just did it that way without thinking. I’m one of those people that do worship with my body as much as my mind, and kneeling means a lot to me.

Ok, he listened to my confession, then asked me to say my act of contrition WHILE he gave absolution. I don’t even know if it was a valid confession…I couldn’t listen to him and think about what he was saying, and concentrate on my act of contrition and whatnot…really really upset me. I didn’t say my act out loud, I ended up saying it silently in my mind so I could try to listen to both at once, sorta like rosary but not at all.

Then he gives me penance.

My primary questions are over, in these circumstances:
-can anonymous not be offered?
-in an OFFICE??! In chairs?! As the norm?!
-saying contrition and the te absolvo at the same time?

Those are my main problems… I’d like to hear your comments. I’m not very confrontational, but if I need to speak up, I will try.

 

[SeekerJen]

Maybe the parish could consider an idea that I have seen successfully used in a couple of parishes. There is a small room set aside as the confessional (or I suppose the priest’s office could be rearranged as needed), and the priest goes in and sits in the corner. When the layperson enters, he can either walk straight ahead and sit in a chair across from the priest for face-to-face, or he can go to the side and kneel behind the screen that is blocking the priest from seeing who enters the door.

It’s interesting that anonymous confession wasn’t even an option. I went last weekend to a local parish (not my home parish), and anonymous was the only option there (in the old double-sided booths, no less).

 

[alyssa]

Yeah. At my other parish, we use the robing room and a confession room (more like a big closet LOL) set up as you describe- you go into the anonymous, and walk around if you want face to face. That is what I’m used to. This was just very rushed and “whatever” feeling to me.
thanks

 

[ImperialPhoenix]

SeekerJen:

It’s interesting that anonymous confession wasn’t even an option. I went last weekend to a local parish (not my home parish), and anonymous was the only option there (in the old double-sided booths, no less).

I usualy thought that anonymous confessions were usualy as they are, anonymous.

 

[chicago]

I wouldn’t say that there was formally anything wrong with how things went. However, penitents are to be given the option of confessing anonymously and behind a screen. You could always ask the priest if he wouldn’t mind using a parish confessional for yours or just bring it up to him more generally about how some might appreciate this option.

Now, at least you didn’t have happen what occured with me once. I asked for the priest to hear my confession. So he invited me down to the office, opened a door, then turned on the light. On the table were a couple of bottles of beer. Poor priest was shocked and apologetic, ran quickly to clear the table. I was excited and laughing. “What a way to go to confession!” I exclaimed. I think that more people might come to the Sacrament if this option were available.

 

[tuopaolo]

In my experience it is not altogether uncommon for the priest to begin the words of absolution soon after you begin saying an act of contrition. Perhaps this is an older custom. I don’t know. Even if you don’t say an act of contrition for whatever reason, the confession would still be valid as long as contrition was present in your heart. Presumably if you decided to go to confession and went in there, you would have gone in there with contrition and so as long as you didn’t act against it to void it (by for example deliberately ommitting a mortal sin), the confession would be valid (provided of course the priest had the necessary intention and expressed it with words of absolution)