Confession Question

[buddingcatholic]

Okay, so I am going to a long-overdue confession Saturday and I am extremely nervous.

See, at my last confession I was starting to confess sinning against myself out of lust (a mortal sin) but the priest cut me off. He told me I was being scrupulous because I managed to confess that I’d received communion after achieving what I thought was “perfect contrition”. It ended up not being perfect because I committed the same sin afterwards. Anyway, my last confession experience was not-so-good. I didn’t have the feeling of relief I usually have after and the renewed faith that prevents me from sinning again.

So of course I sinned again. But I have the upmost respect from the Eucharist, so I stay away from it in a state of sin. However, not participating in the Mass actually causes me to sin MORE.

I recently committed a bowling strike of sin. On New Years Day, I had a boy over when my parents weren’t home. New Years Day is also a Holy Day of obligation. We drank (not to the point of excess, but I am under 21). The alcohol lowered our self control and we ended up committing sexual acts (which I have never committed before this occasion). I was not expecting any of this to happen because we have been good friends for a while. Funny enough, we are still friends, and we agreed it should never happen again. He doesn’t live in town, but if he did we would likely be engaged in a pure romantic relationship, as we both obviously have underlying feelings for each other.

I have been so stressed and guilty about this situation that I’ve lowered my immune system to the point where I’ve grown very ill. I’ve been missing school, which is upsetting me even more. I really need to make this confession, but I am scared of the restitution. No one but him and I were really “hurt”, and no good can come of telling my parents; I’ve already sworn to never let it happen again. I have such a good relationship with them that I’m afraid that if I tell them the pain caused will be so much to recover from that it will send me back into self-loathing.

 

[CJsmommy]

As someone that suffers from anxiety I know how bad nervous anticipation can get. When you get to the point you’re making yourself sick it’s time to take a step back and take deep breath (Easier said than done, I know). The anticipation is almost always worse than the actual thing.

Maybe just let the confessor know what you put here, or make an appointment to see a priest separately to explain your situation. I don’t know your parents, but maybe having to talk with them about it might not be as bad as you think either. I was afraid to talk to my dad too, but in the end I survived. You will too.

 

[napa55gal]

Do you have any good Christian friends that can pray for you? Prayers can help you through anything. I certainly will pray for your anxiety. I have been there too. But remember that Jesus is a loving Savior and he will help you and forgive you. [SIGN]

 

[randomlogic]

Okay, so I am going to a long-overdue confession Saturday and I am extremely nervous.

See, at my last confession I was starting to confess sinning against myself out of lust (a mortal sin) but the priest cut me off. He told me I was being scrupulous because I managed to confess that I’d received communion after achieving what I thought was “perfect contrition”. It ended up not being perfect because I committed the same sin afterwards. Anyway, my last confession experience was not-so-good. I didn’t have the feeling of relief I usually have after and the renewed faith that prevents me from sinning again.

So of course I sinned again. But I have the upmost respect from the Eucharist, so I stay away from it in a state of sin. However, not participating in the Mass actually causes me to sin MORE.

I recently committed a bowling strike of sin. On New Years Day, I had a boy over when my parents weren’t home. New Years Day is also a Holy Day of obligation. We drank (not to the point of excess, but I am under 21). The alcohol lowered our self control and we ended up committing sexual acts (which I have never committed before this occasion). I was not expecting any of this to happen because we have been good friends for a while. Funny enough, we are still friends, and we agreed it should never happen again. He doesn’t live in town, but if he did we would likely be engaged in a pure romantic relationship, as we both obviously have underlying feelings for each other.

I have been so stressed and guilty about this situation that I’ve lowered my immune system to the point where I’ve grown very ill. I’ve been missing school, which is upsetting me even more. I really need to make this confession, but I am scared of the restitution. No one but him and I were really “hurt”, and no good can come of telling my parents; I’ve already sworn to never let it happen again. I have such a good relationship with them that I’m afraid that if I tell them the pain caused will be so much to recover from that it will send me back into self-loathing.

A couple thoughts: Maybe you could try confessing to a different Priest. Also, spend some time in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. I know this may sound silly, but Adoration and consistently confessing my sins (lust) is what finally broke my daily lustful habits. In regards to your Parents, you really should consider talking to them. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. The Sacraments exist to help bring you closer to Jesus.

BTW, I really appreciate your respect of the Eucharist. Not many respect Him the way you do.

 

[Johnny_Local]

It seems obvious to me that you are truly contrite and sorry for your sins, but I’m not exactly sure what you mean by being “scared of the restitution.” Do you mean that you are scared that the priest will give you a harsh penance as punishment? If so, don’t be.

I go to confession regularly (about 2 to 3 times a month on average), and every time, I get the feeling that this is the time that the priest is going to throw the book at me. But this is just the devil playing on our fears, trying to further separate us from God.

Remember, the Sacrament of Reconciliation, like all Sacraments, is a gift from God. In my opinion, it’s good to feel somewhat uncomfortable going in, as it’s a sign that we recognize that we have sinned and we are need of healing. But it’s also important (perhaps more important) to focus on what happens through the sacrament.

During the Sacrament of Reconciliation, Jesus announces to us through the Church/priest that our sins are forgiven and that we are loved by God. This is his gift of reconciliation.

As far as the penance part, don’t think of it so much as a punishment or prison sentence. Rather think of it as your first steps back on the path of righteousness. From CCC 1460, the penance your priest assigns may include “prayer, an offering, works of mercy, service of neighbor, voluntary self-denial, sacrifices, and above all the patient acceptance of the cross we must bear.” Notice how all these examples of penance listed in the CCC are things we, as Christians, should be doing anyway.

If you are still really feeling uncomfortable, do what I do. I usually take my favorite rosary with me and hold on to it during confession. It’s sort of my way of holding our Blessed Mother’s hand while I make my confession.

 

[phil19034]

The more you go to confession the easier it gets (meaning you don’t fear talking to the priest).

But I still feel shame because I’m ashamed for sinning. This is natural and when you don’t feel shame for sinning, that’s bad.

When I used to get nervous, I used to write my sins down and take them with me so I would stay focused during my confessions and not let my nerves get the best of me.

Then, I purchased a good Confession app, that I still use to help me do a good examination of my conscience and remember my sins.

itunes.apple.com/us/app/confession-roman-catholic/id416019676?mt=8

God Bless

 

[peter26]

Confession gets easier the more you go. Don’t wait until you have a really major sin to confess. And by all means go to a different priest, or maybe go behind the screen, if this would make it easier to go. I think the advice about taking a Rosary with you is good, but better still get to the church early and pray the Rosary and ask for the strength to make a good confession.

 

[Johnny_Local]

I think the advice about taking a Rosary with you is good, but better still get to the church early and pray the Rosary and ask for the strength to make a good confession.

:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

Excellent advice. I agree wholeheartedly.

 

[buddingcatholic]

Confession gets easier the more you go. Don’t wait until you have a really major sin to confess. And by all means go to a different priest, or maybe go behind the screen, if this would make it easier to go. I think the advice about taking a Rosary with you is good, but better still get to the church early and pray the Rosary and ask for the strength to make a good confession.

Thats a great idea! I usually just hold on to my miraculous medal during confession but I sleep holding a rosary when I’m upset or having night terrors. Never thought about taking it into confession. Thanks again!

 

[buddingcatholic]

The more you go to confession the easier it gets (meaning you don’t fear talking to the priest).

But I still feel shame because I’m ashamed for sinning. This is natural and when you don’t feel shame for sinning, that’s bad.

When I used to get nervous, I used to write my sins down and take them with me so I would stay focused during my confessions and not let my nerves get the best of me.

Then, I purchased a good Confession app, that I still use to help me do a good examination of my conscience and remember my sins.

itunes.apple.com/us/app/confession-roman-catholic/id416019676?mt=8

God Bless

I write my sins down too, but when the priest hears the paper he always seems to automatically assume I’m being scrupulous. But burning the paper afterwards feels great.

 

[buddingcatholic]

It seems obvious to me that you are truly contrite and sorry for your sins, but I’m not exactly sure what you mean by being “scared of the restitution.” Do you mean that you are scared that the priest will give you a harsh penance as punishment? If so, don’t be.

I go to confession regularly (about 2 to 3 times a month on average), and every time, I get the feeling that this is the time that the priest is going to throw the book at me. But this is just the devil playing on our fears, trying to further separate us from God.

Remember, the Sacrament of Reconciliation, like all Sacraments, is a gift from God. In my opinion, it’s good to feel somewhat uncomfortable going in, as it’s a sign that we recognize that we have sinned and we are need of healing. But it’s also important (perhaps more important) to focus on what happens through the sacrament.

During the Sacrament of Reconciliation, Jesus announces to us through the Church/priest that our sins are forgiven and that we are loved by God. This is his gift of reconciliation.

As far as the penance part, don’t think of it so much as a punishment or prison sentence. Rather think of it as your first steps back on the path of righteousness. From CCC 1460, the penance your priest assigns may include “prayer, an offering, works of mercy, service of neighbor, voluntary self-denial, sacrifices, and above all the patient acceptance of the cross we must bear.” Notice how all these examples of penance listed in the CCC are things we, as Christians, should be doing anyway.

If you are still really feeling uncomfortable, do what I do. I usually take my favorite rosary with me and hold on to it during confession. It’s sort of my way of holding our Blessed Mother’s hand while I make my confession.

I think I’m scared that the priest will tell me to tell my parents what happened for restitution. They don’t forgive as easily as he does, and I know that with them knowing I will prolong my suffering. What happened was between me, the other person, and God. However, I know I dishonored my parents by inviting someone else into their home without telling them.

 

[buddingcatholic]

As someone that suffers from anxiety I know how bad nervous anticipation can get. When you get to the point you’re making yourself sick it’s time to take a step back and take deep breath (Easier said than done, I know). The anticipation is almost always worse than the actual thing.

Maybe just let the confessor know what you put here, or make an appointment to see a priest separately to explain your situation. I don’t know your parents, but maybe having to talk with them about it might not be as bad as you think either. I was afraid to talk to my dad too, but in the end I survived. You will too.

It isn’t my parents reactions I fear, its my reaction to them knowing. I react very severely when I loose their trust and grow extremely upset for a long time. I also know they won’t let me see him again, and I’m not ready to loose him as a friend. I think we make each other better people.

 

[juno24]

I think I’m scared that the priest will tell me to tell my parents what happened for restitution. They don’t forgive as easily as he does, and I know that with them knowing I will prolong my suffering. What happened was between me, the other person, and God. However, I know I dishonored my parents by inviting someone else into their home without telling them.

No priest will ever tell you that your penance is to reveal your sin(s) to anyone. Rest assured of that. He will NOT tell you to tell your parents what you did.

 

[phil19034]

I write my sins down too, but when the priest hears the paper he always seems to automatically assume I’m being scrupulous. But burning the paper afterwards feels great.

that’s what’s good about the app… he hears nothing And seeing the sins reset to zero feels good too

 

[phil19034]

I think I’m scared that the priest will tell me to tell my parents what happened for restitution. They don’t forgive as easily as he does, and I know that with them knowing I will prolong my suffering. What happened was between me, the other person, and God. However, I know I dishonored my parents by inviting someone else into their home without telling them.

The priest will not tell them anything. He can’t even say you went to confession. The priest would be excommunicated for that. You have nothing to fear about this.

Rest easy and God Bless

 

[MaryHelp777]

Okay, so I am going to a long-overdue confession Saturday and I am extremely nervous.

See, at my last confession I was starting to confess sinning against myself out of lust (a mortal sin) but the priest cut me off. He told me I was being scrupulous because I managed to confess that I’d received communion after achieving what I thought was “perfect contrition”. It ended up not being perfect because I committed the same sin afterwards. Anyway, my last confession experience was not-so-good. I didn’t have the feeling of relief I usually have after and the renewed faith that prevents me from sinning again.

So of course I sinned again. But I have the upmost respect from the Eucharist, so I stay away from it in a state of sin. However, not participating in the Mass actually causes me to sin MORE.

I recently committed a bowling strike of sin. On New Years Day, I had a boy over when my parents weren’t home. New Years Day is also a Holy Day of obligation. We drank (not to the point of excess, but I am under 21). The alcohol lowered our self control and we ended up committing sexual acts (which I have never committed before this occasion). I was not expecting any of this to happen because we have been good friends for a while. Funny enough, we are still friends, and we agreed it should never happen again. He doesn’t live in town, but if he did we would likely be engaged in a pure romantic relationship, as we both obviously have underlying feelings for each other.

I have been so stressed and guilty about this situation that I’ve lowered my immune system to the point where I’ve grown very ill. I’ve been missing school, which is upsetting me even more. I really need to make this confession, but I am scared of the restitution. No one but him and I were really “hurt”, and no good can come of telling my parents; I’ve already sworn to never let it happen again. I have such a good relationship with them that I’m afraid that if I tell them the pain caused will be so much to recover from that it will send me back into self-loathing.

The catechism.says your only allowed to.use perfect contrition and receive communion (after mortal sin, before confession) For an emergency situation, eg you were dying,

If the priest is cutting you off and not hearing your sins (no judgement on him, he may.think he knows you very well), confess to a different priest.

 

[buddingcatholic]

The catechism.says your only allowed to.use perfect contrition and receive communion (after mortal sin, before confession) For an emergency situation, eg you were dying,

If the priest is cutting you off and not hearing your sins (no judgement on him, he may.think he knows you very well), confess to a different priest.

Yeah I’m not doing that again. I was looking for any way possible to receive before confession. I just feel really lost without the Eucharist and I feel more inclined to sin. I didn’t know it had to be for an emergency.

As for the priest, he probably just made that judgement because I was crying before I could even confess any major sins. I think he thought I was just talking about regular ole contrition.

I am going to a different church this time for confession.

 

[MaryHelp777]

Okay, so I am going to a long-overdue confession Saturday and I am extremely nervous.

See, at my last confession I was starting to confess sinning against myself out of lust (a mortal sin) but the priest cut me off. He told me I was being scrupulous because I managed to confess that I’d received communion after achieving what I thought was “perfect contrition”. It ended up not being perfect because I committed the same sin afterwards. Anyway, my last confession experience was not-so-good. I didn’t have the feeling of relief I usually have after and the renewed faith that prevents me from sinning again.

So of course I sinned again. But I have the upmost respect from the Eucharist, so I stay away from it in a state of sin. However, not participating in the Mass actually causes me to sin MORE.

I recently committed a bowling strike of sin. On New Years Day, I had a boy over when my parents weren’t home. New Years Day is also a Holy Day of obligation. We drank (not to the point of excess, but I am under 21). The alcohol lowered our self control and we ended up committing sexual acts (which I have never committed before this occasion). I was not expecting any of this to happen because we have been good friends for a while. Funny enough, we are still friends, and we agreed it should never happen again. He doesn’t live in town, but if he did we would likely be engaged in a pure romantic relationship, as we both obviously have underlying feelings for each other.

I have been so stressed and guilty about this situation that I’ve lowered my immune system to the point where I’ve grown very ill. I’ve been missing school, which is upsetting me even more. I really need to make this confession, but I am scared of the restitution. No one but him and I were really “hurt”, and no good can come of telling my parents; I’ve already sworn to never let it happen again. I have such a good relationship with them that I’m afraid that if I tell them the pain caused will be so much to recover from that it will send me back into self-loathing.

Don’t tell your parents.
Just confess to God, not in the local confession queue,
Arrange a private appointment with a priest, or go to a different parish

Consider giving up alcohol for God if it causes you to commit mortal sin.

 

[MaryHelp777]

St Margaret Mary of Alacoque wrote: “you are supposed to have God’s peace ALWAYS.
IF you fall into sin, make an act of contrition, resolve to say it in confession when you get the chance, and INSTANTLY RECLAIM GOD’S PEACE.”

Follow her advice.

Satan is attacking you.
Satan does this to all his followers, he got Judas to betray Jesus, then he goes and pushes Judas into mortal guilt. Satan accuses all his sinners of their crimes.

Jesus says, confess and be healed!

Ever hear of the saying; “No point crying over spilled milk.” All this pain you are putting yourself through is not going to erase the past, change the present, or help the future.

Did you know the St Faustina was told by Jesus, “The moment a sinner decides they will confess, I start working grace in their soul, though they still need to confess when they get the chance.”

Basically, when you do confess God will erase that sin from his memory, it will be as if it never happened in God’s eyes.

Google online to find out the number to ring a priest near you to ask could you organise a private appointment to discuss something for spiritual direction.

Be at peace as you wait to confess in the meantime.
In God’s peace. God wants that from you.
If you are sorry and have decided never to fall again, and have resolved to confess, be at Peace.

And go back to school, etc…

 

[MaryHelp777]

I think I’m scared that the priest will tell me to tell my parents what happened for restitution. They don’t forgive as easily as he does, and I know that with them knowing I will prolong my suffering. What happened was between me, the other person, and God. However, I know I dishonored my parents by inviting someone else into their home without telling them.

The priest will not tell you to do that.
If the priest does tell you, all you have to do is ask another priest for.release from.that order given by the first priest.

Anyways; the priest will not tell you to tell your parents.