Confession Question

[GO2MASS]

I have a quick confession question on which I would like some opinions.

I try to go to confession as often as possible…I try not to be scrupulous or take the sacrament for granted - I just don’t like it when I have mortal sin on my conscience.

Fortunately, I work in a major city where they have confession every day before the 12:00 mass.

Several weeks ago, I went to confession one day when I had just gone the day before (usually I go about once a week). When I told the priest it had “been one day since my last confesson” he interrupted me an got very angry with me.

He scolded me and told me I was taking away time from others that needed to confess. He told me that, rather than go to confession two days in a row, I should deprive myself of communion instead (I usually try to do daily mass after confession).

I see Father’s point in terms of not wanting people to take confession for granted - simply sin and confess, sin and confess, etc.

However, I was somewhat troubled that he thought I should simply forego communion instead. As the eucharist is the summit of our faith, I was a little discouraged that he would advise me, or anyone for that matter, to forego the eucharist when sacramental confession was available.

I’d be interested in any thoughts to my first post!

 

[Saint_Michael]

I have my own confession issues, but I too have confessed two days in a row and received a lot of negativity from the priest. I honestly don’t understand it, you can’t be certain that you won’t die before you get to the “one week point”. And what happens to one who dies with unconfessed moratal sin? According to 2,000 years of Catholic teaching more than likely you get the hot foot. So what’s wrong with confessing two days in a row if you need too? Would it be better to be hit by a bus and burn for eternity? I think you received some terrible advice myself.

 

[Marsha_Adams]

Two thoughts come to my mind. First, was the sin prompting you to go to confession the second day in a row actually a mortal sin? Was it of grave matter? Did you do it with full knowledge?Was it done with your full intention? Mortal sins do not occur accidentally, they are not “oops, look what I did” kinds of sins.

Second, in order to obtain absolution your confession must be made with a firm purpose of ammendment and with deep sorrow/repentence.

That being said, to my mind (at the risk of sounding judgemental), either the first confession was not valid or else the following sin was not mortal.

Marsha

 

[mercygate]

I heard that Pope Pius XII confessed daily.

If the sin on your conscience was grave, you should not have been scolded before you even get a chance to confess it. Did this guy know you?

For a scrupulous person, refraining from the Eucharist would be poor advice, tending to reinforce the problem.

Look for another priest.

 

[JimO]

I imagine that many priests’ initial reaction to someone confessing two days in a row is that the person is being overly scrupulous. However, if someone commits a mortal sin, it shouldn’t matter how long it’s been - that needs to be dealt with ASAP. If it’s a venial sin, then you may receive communion if you are truly sorry, have a genuine intention of not committing the sin again, and you participate sincerely in the penitential rite of the Mass. Then you can wait until your next regular confession. However, any priest that scolds someone for going to confession for a mortal sin is, in my opinion, just plain wrong.

 

[GO2MASS]

I believe the sin was mortal - I knew what I was doing and that it was wrong, but it is not something that I had confessed the day before.

I do have to confess this sin often, so that does raise issues in general about whether I am truly sorry and have a firm resolve to avoid the sin again, I guess.

 

[Saint_Michael]

That being said, to my mind (at the risk of sounding judgemental), either the first confession was not valid or else the following sin was not mortal.

Marsha

Why would those be the only options? A person is perfectly capable of mortally sinning two days in a row, and being sorry and vowing to refrain from doing it again.

Hypotehtical, Monday I drink to excess knowing that I shouldn’t, I’m drunk and humiliating myself. Tuesday morning I confess because I feel terrible. Tuesday evening I masturbate knowing full well that is a grave matter and I am doing it with full will, Wednesday I go to confession because I feel terrible. I don’t see your one or the other scenario as the only possibility.

 

[mosher]

At the seminary many of us would go to confession more than once a week. I find it deplorable that a priest would take the position that he did when in the confessional. I understand that a priest must guard against persons who suffer from scrupulosity but at the same time if a person needs confession because of mortal sin on a daily basis it should not be taken so lightly by the priest.

 

[JimO]

I do have to confess this sin often, so that does raise issues in general about whether I am truly sorry and have a firm resolve to avoid the sin again, I guess.

If you don’t mind some more general advice. If you are struggling in a particular area of mortal sin, I’d find a priest who will act as a spiritual director and help you with the bigger problem. I know what it’s like being in a situation like that and it can drive someone from the faith and Satan will hammer you in that area if you don’t fight it with all your might. God is calling you to something better, far better. You have been given a great grace to see the sin for what it is.

Blessings

 

[Marsha_Adams]

Why would those be the only options? A person is perfectly capable of mortally sinning two days in a row, and being sorry and vowing to refrain from doing it again.

Hypotehtical, Monday I drink to excess knowing that I shouldn’t, I’m drunk and humiliating myself. Tuesday morning I confess because I feel terrible. Tuesday evening I masturbate knowing full well that is a grave matter and I am doing it with full will, Wednesday I go to confession because I feel terrible. I don’t see your one or the other scenario as the only possibility.

Saint Michael:

You are right, my one or the other scenario is not the only possibility. Still, the sacrament of confession is an avenue of grace that empowers us to turn from sin and grow closer to God. Let us take your Monday/Tuesday hypothetical. If both days you got stupid drunk, then an argument could be made that this is more than a spiritual thing and that you have a serious physical addiction to overcome which means that you did not do it with your full intention but as a result of physical/psychological compulsion. Since, we are dealing with two different sins, I see an internal conversation along these lines:

I say to me: I really want to indulge in the “M” word.
Myself says to I: But you just went to confession today.
I: Yes, but I’ve got this itch that really needs scratching.
Myself: But you told the priest that you were heartily sorry for all your sins.
I: Yes, I was, but this is different.
Myself: You were sorry for offending God, how can you turn around and do this – intentionally leaving the state of grace you are in?
I: I was sorry for offending God by getting stupid drunk.
Myself: So now you are going to cheerful offend him in a different way? What about your firm purpose of ammendment?
I: I still have a firm purpose to ammend my life and not get stupid drunk again . . . any time soon . . .

You get my point? When you go to confession and confess a specific sin, your repentence is for offending God not just for offending God in this specific way, your firm purpose of ammendment is not for just this sin, but for any sin that will offend God. I commit mortal sins, sometimes the same mortal sins over and over. It is embarassing to have to go back and confess the same thing repeatedly, to admit to my weaknesses, but to enjoy the cleansing grace of confession and then abandon it so quickly that you have to go back the next day suggests that there is something forensically going wrong in the the Christian experience.

Marsha

 

[GO2MASS]

Thank you all for your kind comments. Much food for thought for me to chew on.

JimO - you are absolutely right on about Satan finding our one weakness and hammering home on that one point. Satan is no dummy - he knows what temptations work particularly well for each individual.

Marsha - your points are well taken as well. I do need to work harder on resolving to avoid all sin because it displeases God, not just focusing on individual sins.

Bless you all for taking the time to respond.

 

[JimG]

Communion at every Mass is now pretty much the general rule, but it was not always so. There have been periods during my life where more people stayed away than approached the communion rail during any given Mass.

There was one priest who used to have a standard talk for missions and retreats, lamenting that more people did not go to communion at Mass. I suspect that today his approach might be the opposite, warning that perhaps more of us should be staying away from communion until we are better prepared.

We might also recall that at one time in early church history, confession once in a lifetime was the general rule.

While the priest in this instance was probably out of line to scold you, just take it with a grain of salt, reflecting on how fortunate we are to even be in a position to receive this sacrament daily.

 

[Sir_Knight]

At a time when confession is at one of the lowest points in church history (with the possible exception of the dark ages when people only went to confession a few times in their lifetime) the priest should not be discouraging people from going to confession.

Saint Michael:

You are right, my one or the other scenario is not the only possibility. Still, the sacrament of confession is an avenue of grace that empowers us to turn from sin and grow closer to God. Let us take your Monday/Tuesday hypothetical. If both days you got stupid drunk, then an argument could be made that this is more than a spiritual thing and that you have a serious physical addiction to overcome which means that you did not do it with your full intention but as a result of physical/psychological compulsion. Since, we are dealing with two different sins, I see an internal conversation along these lines:

I say to me: I really want to indulge in the “M” word.
Myself says to I: But you just went to confession today.
I: Yes, but I’ve got this itch that really needs scratching.
Myself: But you told the priest that you were heartily sorry for all your sins.
I: Yes, I was, but this is different.
Myself: You were sorry for offending God, how can you turn around and do this – intentionally leaving the state of grace you are in?
I: I was sorry for offending God by getting stupid drunk.
Myself: So now you are going to cheerful offend him in a different way? What about your firm purpose of ammendment?
I: I still have a firm purpose to ammend my life and not get stupid drunk again . . . any time soon . . .

You get my point? When you go to confession and confess a specific sin, your repentence is for offending God not just for offending God in this specific way, your firm purpose of ammendment is not for just this sin, but for any sin that will offend God. I commit mortal sins, sometimes the same mortal sins over and over. It is embarassing to have to go back and confess the same thing repeatedly, to admit to my weaknesses, but to enjoy the cleansing grace of confession and then abandon it so quickly that you have to go back the next day suggests that there is something forensically going wrong in the the Christian experience.

Marsha

It is also possible that a person may have developed a sinful “habit” that they are honestly trying to break. In which case, it MAY not be a mortal sin but it would be best to confess it JUST IN CASE.

 

[JimG]

At a time when confession is at one of the lowest points in church history (with the possible exception of the dark ages when people only went to confession a few times in their lifetime) the priest should not be discouraging people from going to confession.

Well, it’s not at a low point everywhere. In my parish confession is available six days a week, and there is often a line. Sometimes I’ve been at the end of the line wondering if I’ll make it to the front in time.

 

[Ecat]

A few things.

1. Of course one has a right to goto confession more often.
2. The priest must have thought you were scruplious, but I would not agree with is approach.
3. Of course if one is has committed a moral sin one should not wait a week but go as soon as is reasonable. (that day if possible).
4. Many Saints I imagine (some I have heard of) went even every day.
5. The Church recommends confession even of venial sin.
6. If one is scruplious (or tend towards scruples), one should try to find a good confessor and follow his advice. But usually one should not in this case confess too often (say go once a week) UNLESS on is CERTAIN of committing mortal sin. Spiritual Theology is one of my areas of study --This is generally the advice of spiritual writers thru the ages. Confession more often can make things worse.
7. Communion if one is not certain of moral sin (unless one is lax) is very recommended. Though one can at times abstain for pious reasons.

 

[onmyknees]

I too have a hard time with mortal sins from many years of being away from the church and now trying to rid myself from these compulsive habits. I used to go and ask the priest to hear my confession and then one time he told me that he would hear it on Thursday. It was Tuesday. I also heard him say at a Bible study that if you have the intent to confess a mortal sin than it is ok to wait for the usual confession time to confess. I go to daily mass. My confessor was the only priest at our parish so he knew that I would have to abstain from taking the Eucharist. I got the feeling that this is what he wanted me to have to do. I started to go to confession only on Saturdays and you know what it really helps me to avoid mortal sin alot more often because of the embarrassment I feel when I cannot receive the Eucharist. Even thought my habits of sin are probably not considered mortal the matter is still grave and I really appreciate what my confessor has done for me. He also is a very orthodox, faithful priest. He directs me spiritually when needed.

 

[tkthompson244]

I’m not sure if this is the right thread for this question but I am new here and still trying to find my way around. That being said…I am a Prostenat with a Brother in Law that married a Catholic 8 years ago. Six months ago he converted and I recently decided to learn more about the Catholic Religion. I do not understand the confession thing. Why is it that you would confess your sins to a mortal who is a sinner as well?
I mean no disrespect in my question. Like I said before I am just trying to learn more about the CR.
Tiffany

 

[lak611]

I’m not sure if this is the right thread for this question but I am new here and still trying to find my way around. That being said…I am a Prostenat with a Brother in Law that married a Catholic 8 years ago. Six months ago he converted and I recently decided to learn more about the Catholic Religion. I do not understand the confession thing. Why is it that you would confess your sins to a mortal who is a sinner as well?
I mean no disrespect in my question. Like I said before I am just trying to learn more about the CR.
Tiffany

I recommend this article for you. It explains a lot about Confession.

 

[crenfro]

As the eucharist is the summit of our faith, I was a little discouraged that he would advise me, or anyone for that matter, to forego the eucharist when sacramental confession was available.

Maybe this priest was having a bad morning.

One time during a confession, the priest laughed at one of my sins. I guess I hadn’t done something bad enough, in his mind, heck, maybe I’m scrupulous about some things. And I guess I might even be goofy. But it felt odd. But he did give me absolution.

Was there a long line? Did you do a daily examination of conscience before confessing? (I’m still working on this one.) Did your sin fit all the criteria for a mortal sin, or was it in the venial sin section? Did you go into unnecessary detail and take too much time? Did you receive absolution?

I wasn’t there and don’t know the exact circumstances, so I’m not sure what to say. Could you maybe write this priest a letter telling him what you’re saying here, how you feel foregoing such a great instance of having God’s grace imparted to you isn’t a logical penance.

What, after reading enough of others’s posts here, do you think, in your heart, is the answer?

And actually, my hat’s off to you for practicing your faith so diligently.

 

[mercygate]

I’m not sure if this is the right thread for this question but I am new here and still trying to find my way around. That being said…I am a Prostenat with a Brother in Law that married a Catholic 8 years ago. Six months ago he converted and I recently decided to learn more about the Catholic Religion. I do not understand the confession thing. Why is it that you would confess your sins to a mortal who is a sinner as well?
I mean no disrespect in my question. Like I said before I am just trying to learn more about the CR.
Tiffany

This is not a helpful answer to your question but think about it: if someone were NOT a sinner (???), would it be “better” to confess to HIM? Confession is given by Christ (when He breathed on the Apostles on Easter night, and gave them the power to forgive and to retain sins). He KNEW we would need His very Breath and the flesh and blood assurance of His forgiveness. When we confess, we confess to Christ through the Priest.

The Church has never taught that the sacraments are invalidated by the sinfulness of the minister. That is part of the Donatist heresy, and was dealt with in the 3rd century.

Again: this isn’t much of an answer, but until you have tried this, you really cannot appreciate what a miracle the Sacrament of Confession can be. Because of the way Apostolic Succession works there is a physical hand-to-hand transmission of the teaching and Charism of Christ Himself. When I kneel for absolution, and the Priest places his hand on my head, I know that I am physically, as well as spiritually linked to that upper room and that it is the Breath of Jesus Christ pronouncing the words:

***God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son, has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. ***

It gives me goose bumps just thinking about it!