Confession Question

[ComputerGeek25]

Hi folks,

I have a quick question about confession and whether I’m making mountains out of mole hills.

I was in confession last month. I brought in some notes I scribbled to keep my thoughts straight. Next to some of the items I was confessing, I made some additional comments/notes in case the priest asked any clarifications - since it seems like I get nervous.

Anyways, of my items to confess was I did not always respect other people. And some of the examples that I had for confessing that point were anger, revenge and lust (objectifying others) among things.

Now, I confessed that I didn’t respect others and only read off some of the sub-items, and stopped before I got to lust, because my list had many items - and wanted to get onto some of the other topics I was confessing.

Now, question is, did I screw up my confession?

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Hi folks,

I have a quick question about confession and whether I’m making mountains out of mole hills.

I was in confession last month. I brought in some notes I scribbled to keep my thoughts straight. Next to some of the items I was confessing, I made some additional comments/notes in case the priest asked any clarifications - since it seems like I get nervous.

Anyways, of my items to confess was I did not always respect other people. And some of the examples that I had for confessing that point were anger, revenge and lust (objectifying others) among things.

Now, I confessed that I didn’t respect others and only read off some of the sub-items, and stopped before I got to lust, because my list had many items - and wanted to get onto some of the other topics I was confessing.

Now, question is, did I screw up my confession?

Most likely not. However if it concerns you mention these in your next confession.

 

[LilyM]

Hi folks,

I have a quick question about confession and whether I’m making mountains out of mole hills.

I was in confession last month. I brought in some notes I scribbled to keep my thoughts straight. Next to some of the items I was confessing, I made some additional comments/notes in case the priest asked any clarifications - since it seems like I get nervous.

Anyways, of my items to confess was I did not always respect other people. And some of the examples that I had for confessing that point were anger, revenge and lust (objectifying others) among things.

Now, I confessed that I didn’t respect others and only read off some of the sub-items, and stopped before I got to lust, because my list had many items - and wanted to get onto some of the other topics I was confessing.

Now, question is, did I screw up my confession?

No - you made a genuine effort to confess all your mortal sins, and weren’t deliberately trying to hide anything.

 

[ComputerGeek25]

No - you made a genuine effort to confess all your mortal sins, and weren’t deliberately trying to hide anything.

Reason I ask, is because at the time I felt that I didn’t need to confess the rest of the list, and I gave the “Failed to respect others.” I gave the angry and revenge as examples of this - but probably didn’t need too, but failed to mention the lust example (even though I had it in my notes for the statement).

Since I was making a blanket statement, I made sure I had all of the examples of how I didn’t respect others in case the priest asked for further clarification. He didn’t ask for further clarification so I only gave the “partial list” of how I didn’t respect others.

 

[JimG]

For the most part I think that priests rely on the penitent to be his own accuser; they are probably reluctant to ask for further details.

But “failed to respect others” could mean anything. It could be mortal or venial. It could refer to assault, angry words, murder, adultery, fornication, anything. Why not confess specific actions, not moral categories?

 

[ComputerGeek25]

For the most part I think that priests rely on the penitent to be his own accuser; they are probably reluctant to ask for further details.

But “failed to respect others” could mean anything. It could be mortal or venial. It could refer to assault, angry words, murder, adultery, fornication, anything. Why not confess specific actions, not moral categories?

Point taken. It was a broad category. Maybe that’s why I’m still wondering. But it was my intention that it covered some of objectifying I have done.

Do you think my confession was totally invalid or should I just say something to the effect of “the last time I was in confession, I confessed ‘Failure to respect others,’ had lust as an example of it, but didn’t feel a need to get that specific”

 

[baltobetsy]

Just go to confession again and lay out the whole story as you have with us, and let the priest decide what is necessary.

Betsy

 

[otjm]

God doesn’t play “gotcha”. If you were truly sorry for your sins and you confessed tehm as best you could at the moment, you are absolved. A similar issue is the forgotten sin (legitimately forgotten, not just one you didn’t want to fess up to). From that, if you would have told it had you remembered it, you are absolved.

The point of stating specific sins is a good point; if you have committed a mortal sin (lust seems to popular, let’s take that) then you need to be specific about it.

I do not suggest that you take shortcuts, but I do suggest that if you are in there with a laundry list of things that are venial sins and are spending 7, 10 or more minutes, youmight easily be the cause of someone who has serious (mortal) sins to confess to not be able to get into confession before the time for confession runs out.

There have been more than a couple of times where I have arrived for confession with 10 or 12 people in front of me, 40 minutes before Mass (confession ends as Mass starts), and because someone gets in there and does the laundry list and the “I need spiritual direction” bit, that several in front of me and all behind me don’t get to confess.

I again am not suggesting that anyone fush, but if one is prepared when one walks in, Much more than three minutes is getting a bit long.

Yes, I am aware of those who haven’t been to confession in 6 months, a year, or way longer. But I kind of have my doubts that anyone going to confession on a regular basis is commititing a multiple of mortal sins of various types in a week or two. More likely they either have little understanidng of what is mortal or what is venial, or they are edging hard towards scrupulosity.

 

[beckers]

Hi folks,

I have a quick question about confession and whether I’m making mountains out of mole hills.

I was in confession last month. I brought in some notes I scribbled to keep my thoughts straight. Next to some of the items I was confessing, I made some additional comments/notes in case the priest asked any clarifications - since it seems like I get nervous.

Anyways, of my items to confess was I did not always respect other people. And some of the examples that I had for confessing that point were anger, revenge and lust (objectifying others) among things.

Now, I confessed that I didn’t respect others and only read off some of the sub-items, and stopped before I got to lust, because my list had many items - and wanted to get onto some of the other topics I was confessing.

Now, question is, did I screw up my confession?

Wooah another list maker. I think the priest gets annoyed that i bring it in but it helps me remember. I think that writing it down shows a good thoughtful examantaion of concension (sp). The fact that you did bring in with you and you meant to say it means that your forgiven. If you want to confess it in more detials and get spiritual guidance then go for it!

 

[ComputerGeek25]

Wooah another list maker. I think the priest gets annoyed that i bring it in but it helps me remember. I think that writing it down shows a good thoughtful examantaion of concension (sp). The fact that you did bring in with you and you meant to say it means that your forgiven. If you want to confess it in more detials and get spiritual guidance then go for it!

Yeah, I find if I make note of a few things I feel better prepared.

Thinking back on what I was trying to get at. I think I meant lust in that context to mean “inapproate thought and conversation” and “objectifying others.”

I’m going to confession on Saturday. I’ll probably sneak the one liner of “hey, during my last confession, I considered ‘inapproate thought and conversation’ as failure to respect others, it was in my notes but I didn’t read it.”

I think I’ll be ok

 

[JLSacred]

You might want to be careful about scrupulosity. You sound like you might be headed in that direction.

FYI, God is merciful and understands your intent. Also, you can just work on your weaknesses and try not to repeat them. Isn’t that what you promised during your Act of Contrition? Then you were absolved. Now, go and sin no more.

It’s more important what you do during the week, than if you remember every single item on your list in the Confessional. Most priests want you to confess your sins efficiently, and don’t want to turn Reconciliation into a lengthly counseling session. If you need more time, perhaps make an appointment for spiritual advise.

 

[ComputerGeek25]

You might want to be careful about scrupulosity. You sound like you might be headed in that direction.

FYI, God is merciful and understands your intent. Also, you can just work on your weaknesses and try not to repeat them. Isn’t that what you promised during your Act of Contrition? Then you were absolved. Now, go and sin no more.

It’s more important what you do during the week, than if you remember every single item on your list in the Confessional. Most priests want you to confess your sins efficiently, and don’t want to turn Reconciliation into a lengthly counseling session. If you need more time, perhaps make an appointment for spiritual advise.

Yeah, I hear you about the efficiency part. That’s why I think I quit reading the sublist after a point, I was thinking “that’s enough, he gets the point”

 

[JLSacred]

Yeah, I hear you about the efficiency part. That’s why I think I quit reading the sublist after a point, I was thinking “that’s enough, he gets the point”

Well, if every person in confession went into great detail, and people starting actually going to confession as they should be doing, then if people weren’t concise, Father would be in there all day! :hypno: