Confession Questions

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1st- should I make an appointment with my priest to discuss scrupulosity or would I be able to talk to him about it during Confession?

2nd- going to Confession makes me really nervous. Any tips on how to overcome my fear of this Sacrament?
 
Welcome to CAF! I hope you enjoy your stay here.

It is good that you are considering going to the Sacrament of Penance.

To answer your first question: If you are going to discuss something like that with your priest or spiritual advisor, it is better to make an appointment. While you can discuss that in Confession, it would probably make the Confession pretty long. Ordinarily, this isn’t a problem, but if you go during a time when Confession is open to everyone, you may end up making other penitents wait for a while. I would suggest making an appointment for some spiritual direction regarding this, and then at the end of the session, your priest can give you Confession if you would like it (I have done this on a few occasions with my spiritual director).

As to your second question: Be not Afraid! I have many times related to others that the confessional is the greatest hospital in the world, and that the Sacrament of Penance is the second greatest sacrament (after the Eucharist, of course (though this is not to say any of the other sacraments are worth less than Penance. It’s just that, in terms of being the most accessible and most beneficial to the people, the Sacrament of Penance is definitely one of the greater ones.)).

Could you perhaps share some more about what exactly makes you fearful of the sacrament? I can give you some better advice if you share what is specifically making you fearful.
 
Nov1411 said:
1st- should I make an appointment with my priest to discuss scrupulosity or would I be able to talk to him about it during Confession?
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It’s probably better to make an appointment, since this could turn into a fairly long conversation.
2nd- going to Confession makes me really nervous. Any tips on how to overcome my fear of this Sacrament?
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Remember that the priest is on your side; your common enemy is the Devil. Think of your sins as battle wounds; the priest is the medic.
 
CatholicTrekkie said:
Welcome to CAF! I hope you enjoy your stay here.

Could you perhaps share some more about what exactly makes you fearful of the sacrament? I can give you some better advice if you share what is specifically making you fearful.
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Thanks! 🙂

I’ve always been afraid of Confession. Not completely sure why, but I’m trying to figure it out. I just always feel like I’m going to be sick. So, it’s not really a fun experience for me (not that telling someone all the things you’ve done wrong is fun for anyone).
 
Advice on overcoming the fear?

I don’t know if you ever totally get over the nervousness. I go fairly regularly - monthly or so - and I have never had what I would call a bad experience, but still, sometimes my heart pounds on the way.

Once I open the door and step inside, the nervousness decreases significantly.

Advice…

Go. Go regularly.

Pray. Pray for your confessor. Pray that you make a good confession. Ask the Blessed Mother to bring you closer to her Son.

Look at it as a gift. A great tool to draw us closer to God, to help us become more like Jesus.

See yourself as “fertile ground for redemption”. You do the best you can. You fall. You apologize. You ask God for help, and get back up and try again. It’s a process, really.

Know that God loves to forgive. Picture yourself as the lost sheep on the Good Shepherd’s shoulders.
 
View it as a time to talk about what is bothering you, (in terms of sins) to help you over your fear. Since it sounds like you not been for a time, why not book a time to have a private confession with your priest and let him know how you are feeling. They know you are nervous and are there to help you as said, they are on your side if that helps. Not fun, as you say, but the feeling of real joy afterwards is complete when had a chance to come clean about sins…
 
Nov1411 said:
Thanks! 🙂

I’ve always been afraid of Confession. Not completely sure why, but I’m trying to figure it out. I just always feel like I’m going to be sick. So, it’s not really a fun experience for me (not that telling someone all the things you’ve done wrong is fun for anyone).
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I see. It’s more just a general fear. Well, what I would suggest is finding a good steady confessor. Here at my campus ministry, there’s obviously only one priest, but it helps. He knows my tendencies and habits and is able to help me out with trying to avoid sin in a particular situation. If you get comfortable with one confessor, it might make you less fearful.

Another thing I might suggest is facing the priest, meaning not going behind the screen. I totally understand that this makes a person very uncomfortable, but it might help you in that you can face your fear of the sacrament head on. Remember, even if the priest knows who you are, he cannot tell anyone about your sins, and that whatever you confess remains in the confessional.

Perhaps you can also focus not so much on your fear of the sacrament but instead about how you will feel afterwards. I know whenever I go to confession, it makes me much more joyful and gives me a feeling of freedom. If you focus more on yearning for that feeling and that holiness, the fear and pain of going through Confession may lessen somewhat.

Let me know what you think and if this helps at all.
 
CatholicTrekkie said:
Well, what I would suggest is finding a good steady confessor. If you get comfortable with one confessor, it might make you less fearful.

Another thing I might suggest is facing the priest, meaning not going behind the screen. I totally understand that this makes a person very uncomfortable, but it might help you in that you can face your fear of the sacrament head on. Remember, even if the priest knows who you are, he cannot tell anyone about your sins, and that whatever you confess remains in the confessional.

Perhaps you can also focus not so much on your fear of the sacrament but instead about how you will feel afterwards. I know whenever I go to confession, it makes me much more joyful and gives me a feeling of freedom. If you focus more on yearning for that feeling and that holiness, the fear and pain of going through Confession may lessen somewhat.
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I have a priest in mind to be my regular confessor, and I don’t mind if he knows who I am. But I like being able to differentiate between a conversation and a confession. I wouldn’t want to be uncomfortable talking to him outside the confessional, too. Does that make any sense?

I’ll work on not focusing on the before and during so much as on the after. Thanks! 🙂
 
acadian said:
Advice on overcoming the fear?

I don’t know if you ever totally get over the nervousness. I go fairly regularly - monthly or so - and I have never had what I would call a bad experience, but still, sometimes my heart pounds on the way.

Once I open the door and step inside, the nervousness decreases significantly.

Advice…

Go. Go regularly.

Pray. Pray for your confessor. Pray that you make a good confession. Ask the Blessed Mother to bring you closer to her Son.

Look at it as a gift. A great tool to draw us closer to God, to help us become more like Jesus.

See yourself as “fertile ground for redemption”. You do the best you can. You fall. You apologize. You ask God for help, and get back up and try again. It’s a process, really.

Know that God loves to forgive. Picture yourself as the lost sheep on the Good Shepherd’s shoulders.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the advice! 🙂
 
englishredrose said:
View it as a time to talk about what is bothering you, (in terms of sins) to help you over your fear. Since it sounds like you not been for a time, why not book a time to have a private confession with your priest and let him know how you are feeling. They know you are nervous and are there to help you as said, they are on your side if that helps. Not fun, as you say, but the feeling of real joy afterwards is complete when had a chance to come clean about sins…
Click to expand...
Thanks! 🙂
 
The beauty of the sacrament is that you are forgiven! 🙂 Good news, right?
 
Nov1411 said:
I have a priest in mind to be my regular confessor, and I don’t mind if he knows who I am. But I like being able to differentiate between a conversation and a confession. I wouldn’t want to be uncomfortable talking to him outside the confessional, too. Does that make any sense?

I’ll work on not focusing on the before and during so much as on the after. Thanks! 🙂
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I understand what you’re saying. My parents had similar concerns when we realized that the priest would know who they are. I let them know that priests are most likely trained to forget sins heard in confession. They probably hear so many, they just can’t remember who sinned in what way! Also, how is it any different for a priest to hear your sins and then not act differently towards you later, and a person finding something out about you and doing the same? Priests (and other Catholics too) should and do learn that a person’s sins are in their past: their mistakes, which are forgiven by God. I know personally, after confessing to my regular campus priest some pretty bad, habitual sins, he didn’t treat me any differently and wasn’t awkward with me.
 
Nov1411 said:
1st- should I make an appointment with my priest to discuss scrupulosity or would I be able to talk to him about it during Confession?

2nd- going to Confession makes me really nervous. Any tips on how to overcome my fear of this Sacrament?
Click to expand...
To answer your second question…It is nerve wracking going to Confession…I tell myself this…I can not and will not take Holy Communion unless I go to Confession…Sin does to the soul what sickness does to the body…I have not taken Holy Communion in 2 weeks and I really feel like I am missing out…Think about it this way…You don’t want to be that person sitting and waiting in the Pews while everybody else is taking Holy Communion. That is how I personally view it.
 
CatholicTrekkie said:
I understand what you’re saying. My parents had similar concerns when we realized that the priest would know who they are. I let them know that priests are most likely trained to forget sins heard in confession. They probably hear so many, they just can’t remember who sinned in what way! Also, how is it any different for a priest to hear your sins and then not act differently towards you later, and a person finding something out about you and doing the same? Priests (and other Catholics too) should and do learn that a person’s sins are in their past: their mistakes, which are forgiven by God. I know personally, after confessing to my regular campus priest some pretty bad, habitual sins, he didn’t treat me any differently and wasn’t awkward with me.
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I’m pretty sure that during my last confession (about 4 months ago), the priest knew it was me (I was behind the screen, but I confessed something I had told him outside of confession, too). Plus, my relative went in right after me (and did face-to-face) so he probably realized it was me. I know he’s forgotten by now (hopefully), but as a result, I’ve probably been a little more awkard around him than I should be. That probably sounds really silly, huh?
 
ProdigalSon1211 said:
To answer your second question…It is nerve wracking going to Confession…I tell myself this…I can not and will not take Holy Communion unless I go to Confession…Sin does to the soul what sickness does to the body…I have not taken Holy Communion in 2 weeks and I really feel like I am missing out…Think about it this way…You don’t want to be that person sitting and waiting in the Pews while everybody else is taking Holy Communion. That is how I personally view it.
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So you go to Confession pretty much every week?
 
Nov1411 said:
I’m pretty sure that during my last confession (about 4 months ago), the priest knew it was me (I was behind the screen, but I confessed something I had told him outside of confession, too). Plus, my relative went in right after me (and did face-to-face) so he probably realized it was me. I know he’s forgotten by now (hopefully), but as a result, I’ve probably been a little more awkard around him than I should be. That probably sounds really silly, huh?
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Well, more than forgetting, it’s realizing that the priest (and everybody) should not treat someone differently because of their past sins (much less their forgiven ones). Jesus didn’t do that. In fact, he treated sinners better than those who were pure of heart, sometimes.

The point is, the priest, if he is a holy and pious man, will not treat you differently because of the sins you confess and he absolved you from, just as Christ did the same.
 
CatholicTrekkie said:
Well, more than forgetting, it’s realizing that the priest (and everybody) should not treat someone differently because of their past sins (much less their forgiven ones). Jesus didn’t do that. In fact, he treated sinners better than those who were pure of heart, sometimes.

The point is, the priest, if he is a holy and pious man, will not treat you differently because of the sins you confess and he absolved you from, just as Christ did the same.
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I need to remember this 🙂
I know he won’t. The priest I have in mind to be my regular confessor is a very holy and pious man. I need to work on my irrational fears.
 
Nov1411 said:
I need to remember this 🙂
I know he won’t. The priest I have in mind to be my regular confessor is a very holy and pious man. I need to work on my irrational fears.
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The best thing you can do is pray. Pray that the Lord will give you the strength to overcome your fears of this Sacrament. I wish you the best of luck, and you will be in my prayers. 🙂
 
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