Confession/Scrupulosity/Sacrilege

[scrupulousrvrt]

Hello fellow CAFers, I have a bit of a dilemma I need opinions on as you can no doubt tell.
I went to confession for some mortal sins I had commited without having a thorough Examination of Consience. At the same time the confession with my regular confessor was underway I was praying for a feeling of contrition, despite telling the priest that I was “sorry for not being sorry about the mortal sin” (if that makes sense) and despite getting misty-eyed and receiving absolution it took almost no time for my scrupulosity to flare, fearing I had commited sacrilege because I wasn’t sure if I was contrite (at all). I feel like I’m cruising a line here.

Any suggestions/opinions?

 

[peter26]

In confession you need only imperfect contrition for your sins. If you are sorry merely because you don’t want to go to hell, that is enough. So as long as you can muster that level of contrition, you are fine. If you can’t even find that level of contrition, read some relevant scripture, such as the Parable of the Wheat and the Tares.

 

[Bookcat]

Regarding the question about contrition - it is not really a matter of “opinions”. But one of Theology.

Can one be contrite without any feelings? Yes.

Contrition does NOT. Repeat - Contrition does NOT require any particular feeling …no emotion needed. It is rather grace and ones WILL.

You do NOT have to feel *anything *to be contrite - be it perfect or imperfect contrition.

Is it good to feel sorrow? Yes certainly. But it is not required for authentic and valid act of contrition.

 

[Bookcat]

I will re-post another older post of mine (general information regarding scrupulosity)

A person struggles with scruples - what ought they do?

A person with scrupulosity --ought to have a* “regular confessor” who can direct them --and even give them some general principles* to follow -to apply (principles for them due to their particular scruples -they are usually not for those with a normal conscience).

Thus with their direction they can “dismiss scruples” (in the older language despise them) - “act against them” (agere contra).

For example he might direct a particular penitent with scruples: “unless your certain of having committed mortal sin - make an act of contrition and go to Holy Communion.”

The Confessor will know his particular penitent and his scruples and can direct him.

Scruples are to be dismissed ~ not argued with.

To borrow and image from a Carthusian from centuries ago: Scruples *are like a barking dog or a hissing goose -one does not stop to argue with a barking dog or a hissing goose does one? * No one keeps walking.

Such ‘obedience’ to a regular confessor who knows of ones scruples (except in what is manifest sin - such as if he told them it was ok to murder someone or something certain like that) is key. Such is the age old practice.

Here was a post from Jimmy Akin of CA that I saw in the Register and saved for those who struggle with such.

ncregister.com/blog/jimmy-akin/6-tools-for-the-scrupulous

 

[Bookcat]

Discuss your concerns regarding your confession -or questions about it or other questions with your regular confessor - he can direct you.

Reading various things on a forum like this can be not good for scruples - talk also with him about that. You need his voice to settle your questions - and his direction recalled in your mind later when the scruples stir. That single guide to direct …that regular confessor who knows you and your scruples and can take responsibility for you. Seeking out various “opinions” can be not good for a person with scruples (depending on their scruples).

 

[porthos11]

Hello fellow CAFers, I have a bit of a dilemma I need opinions on as you can no doubt tell.
I went to confession for some mortal sins I had commited without having a thorough Examination of Consience. At the same time the confession with my regular confessor was underway I was praying for a feeling of contrition, despite telling the priest that I was “sorry for not being sorry about the mortal sin” (if that makes sense) and despite getting misty-eyed and receiving absolution it took almost no time for my scrupulosity to flare, fearing I had commited sacrilege because I wasn’t sure if I was contrite (at all). I feel like I’m cruising a line here.

Any suggestions/opinions?

Yes. Don’t ask here. Our opinions are not what you need, and can in fact be the last thing you need.

For the scrupulous, you must pick one confessor you trust, tell him you’re scrupulous and obey him absolutely. No matter what he says. Unless you do this, your scrupulosity will torment you no end. A public, anonymous forum will get you all sorts of answers, some wrong, some right, some outright insensitive.

And as for contrition, as Bookcat said, you do not need to FEEL anything. You need only BE sorry, even if at least out of the fear of hell. The fact that you prayed for contrition IS contrition, even if imperfect and is sufficient.

So I will tell you this outright: No, you did not commit sacrilege, and yes, your confession was worthy, and yes, your absolution was valid.

And I will also tell you, that no matter what you ask here going forward, if you do decide to ignore this advice, the answer will always be one of two things: No, you did not sin; or Ask your confessor.

 

[scrupulousrvrt]

Wow thanks for the quick replies!
The jimmy akin one helped somewhat and The Parable of Wheat and Tares’ also a good one (if somewhat making more scrupulous in the process).
But now the question remain…Do I reconfess/discuss with my confessor or should I hold off?

 

[peter26]

There is no need to re-confess, in fact one of the so-called “10 Commandments for the Scrupulous” is never to re-confess. The only time it would be needed is if you deliberately withheld something you know for certain to be a mortal sin.

Here are a few other passages of scripture you may find helpful

"If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us: but if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."1 John 1.8,9 - A very clear instruction, confess and you are forgiven and your sins are wiped away.

And King David’s wonderful Psalm of repentance, the Miserere Mei Deus (Psalm 51). This should be a helpful reflection on contrition: it is all about turning away from sin and being forgiven.

51 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.

17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

But now the question remain…Do I reconfess/discuss with my confessor or should I hold off?

Should you re-confess the same sins again and again? No. Your confession was valid and you should trust Christ’s Sacraments. You should discuss your scrupulosity problem with your confessor.

 

[AKDee]

What I’ve started doing recently is while I wait in line at confession, I deliberately think of all my sins (having already done my examination of conscience earlier in the day). I think on those sins I committed since my last confession, and those I committed before. I think about how they hurt our Lord. I think about how they damaged my soul. I think about how they affected other people, and how they affect the Body of Christ. I think about how our Lord prayed in the Garden, bled from his pores, accepted false imprisonment, being spat upon, being struck in the face, being scourged, and ultimately accepted the death of a common criminal so that I would have hope of Heaven because without His sacrifice there would be no hope for me. Recently I will do that while saying the Jesus prayer on my Rosary, thinking of 50 sins I have committed (digging up old ones if I have not committed that many since my last confession) and then saying “Jesus, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” I find that really helps me to be more genuinely sorry for the sins I have committed, because while I recognize that my fear of hell is enough, I want to really be sorry.

 

[SuperLuigi]

Wow thanks for the quick replies!
The jimmy akin one helped somewhat and The Parable of Wheat and Tares’ also a good one (if somewhat making more scrupulous in the process).
But now the question remain…Do I reconfess/discuss with my confessor or should I hold off?

If you are scrupulous, you need spiritual direction from ONE spiritual director. I’m not really sure if the Confessional is the best place for that (you say you have a regular Confessor).

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Hello fellow CAFers, I have a bit of a dilemma I need opinions on as you can no doubt tell.
I went to confession for some mortal sins I had commited without having a thorough Examination of Consience. At the same time the confession with my regular confessor was underway I was praying for a feeling of contrition, despite telling the priest that I was “sorry for not being sorry about the mortal sin” (if that makes sense) and despite getting misty-eyed and receiving absolution it took almost no time for my scrupulosity to flare, fearing I had commited sacrilege because I wasn’t sure if I was contrite (at all). I feel like I’m cruising a line here.

Any suggestions/opinions?

Yes. My opinion as a priest is that you should not be seeking suggestions and opinions on an anonymous Internet forum from people who may be well meaning but who, with relatively rare exception, are not actually schooled as well as practically formed in the care of a soul afflicted with scruples.

Many suggestions and ideas that such persons can offer in a place such as this can actually be quite harmful. Their advice is often based on what seems a good idea to them but is, in fact, the opposite of what is actually helpful to someone with this issue. Such advice can make a situation of scruples even worse.

This is a condition that you must work out with a priest because of the crossover between the internal forum on the one hand and all the facets of one’s spiritual well-being affected by scrupulosity on the other hand. You need therefore to confide yourself to one confessor who can help you and guide you in all facets concerning scruples or your situation will not improve.

It is for very good reason that a confessor is called a physician of souls. I assure you of my prayers.

 

[scrupulousrvrt]

Thanks Don Ruggero, I’ll take your advice at heart.
god bless
-Scrupulousrvrt

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Thanks Don Ruggero, I’ll take your advice at heart.
god bless
-Scrupulousrvrt

I want to assure you again of my prayers. It is not to be unkind when I say that these questions and these concerns are best only answered by your confessor…it is, I trust you know, in order to help you in taking steps that will move you beyond your current suffering.