Confession & Sin - So hard

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joyfulseraph

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How am I to confess everything? What if I don’t remember? What if I say too little or too much? What if it’s not good enough? What if I realize I left something out? And how can a person *not *sin? A person could be sitting around, minding their own business, and perhaps that could somehow be a “sin”…I’d have to go every day to confession. Plus I don’t know how a person has enough time, when you probably only have a few minutes with everyone else in line (if it’s that full). :confused:

I am a good/moral person, but I feel like I’ll end up in hell anyways. It’s just so hard…I feel like I’ll just spend my whole life worrying about sin and trying to avoid it. 😦
 
joyfulseraph said:
How am I to confess everything? What if I don’t remember? What if I say too little or too much? What if it’s not good enough? What if I realize I left something out? And how can a person *not *sin? A person could be sitting around, minding their own business, and perhaps that could somehow be a “sin”…I’d have to go every day to confession. Plus I don’t know how a person has enough time, when you probably only have a few minutes with everyone else in line (if it’s that full). :confused:

I am a good/moral person, but I feel like I’ll end up in hell anyways. It’s just so hard…I feel like I’ll just spend my whole life worrying about sin and trying to avoid it. 😦
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Relax.

Remember, you only need confession for mortal sins (i.e. sins that are grave matter, that you know are wrong, and you consent to do them anyway). So, you can’t commit a mortal sin unintentionally, or just sitting around.

For venial sins, you can be forgiven through many means (including the Eucharist) and you can not be damned for unforgiven venial sins (i.e. you don’t go to hell for venial sins).

Finally, a confession forgives ALL you sins, as long as you confess all the mortal sins you remember. The only way it doesn’t forgive all your sins is if you deliberately hold back a mortal sin. Forgotten sins are forgiven.

God Bless
 
What if you can’t think of any mortal sins? I try to go to confession once a month, but when I do an examination of conscience usually I have not done any of the things on that list, and I kind of feel as if I am wasting Father’s time with venial sins (which are, with wearying regularity, usually the same ones I committed the month before.) I know that we ought to confess venial sins too, but I wonder sometimes if I ought to wait until I have something ‘worthwhile’ to confess before I go. (Of course, there is always the continuing contempt for Obama, but I am honestly working on that.)

Also, if one confessor says that missing Mass is not a mortal sin if you are with your elderly parents (or lately, Mama) and none of you can drive, and another says that unless you are physically impeded from attending (e.g. you could take a taxi), it is too a mortal sin, what is one to think?
 
joyfulseraph said:
How am I to confess everything? What if I don’t remember? What if I say too little or too much? What if it’s not good enough? What if I realize I left something out? And how can a person *not *sin? A person could be sitting around, minding their own business, and perhaps that could somehow be a “sin”…I’d have to go every day to confession. Plus I don’t know how a person has enough time, when you probably only have a few minutes with everyone else in line (if it’s that full). :confused:

I am a good/moral person, but I feel like I’ll end up in hell anyways. It’s just so hard…I feel like I’ll just spend my whole life worrying about sin and trying to avoid it. 😦
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If you honestly forget, it’s ok. You are forgiven. Try to remember it next time. If you realize you left something out while in the confessional, make sure you tell the priest (interrupt him if necessary). If you say too little, the priest will ask for more information. If you say too much, it doesn’t really matter and the priest has probably already heard as much and worse.

As far as feeling like just sitting down breathing is a sin, take a few deep “sins” and relax. Ultimately, God made us perfectly imperfect and knows that we don’t always live up to the bar he sets. He also gave us the sacrament of Reconciliation as a way to make amends for our failings. We get a dose of mercy, a healthy pinch of forgiveness and a whole lot of God’s grace to help us out.

How often should you go to Confession? I guess the absolute answer is as soon as possible after you have committed a mortal sin. You’re right, though, that in practice this is not all that feasible. Not every parish has Confession as often as they ought to. My advice is this (and correct me if I am wrong): since it seems you are just returning to the confessional, go monthly and admit your sins. Let God’s grace come upon you. You can adjust your frequency from there. I can assure you that with faithful attendance, you will feel His presence with you helping you.

In the end, God knows your heart and whether you are truly trying to follow His laws. And that is probably the ultimate test, though others may disagree. Good luck and God bless.

Chris
 
Do you have a regular confessor? I think that might help with some of the questions you have. I know for me it is helpful, because in a way they get to know you and can help you with things that you feel like you a repeating.
 
I have been attending confession at a different church from my own, because it has regularly schedule confession on Saturdays from 4-5 p.m. and mine does not. This church is served by a number of friars and one is never sure which one will be hearing confessions on any given Saturday.
 
One of the things they told us in RCIA is that Confession is filled with God’s Grace, not only in the forgiveness of sins, but in the power to resist temptation the next time. That’s why confession, even if you’ve only committed venial sins is important.

If you haven’t committed mortal sins, our deacon said to list those venial sins that you’re really struggling with - the one or two that seem the most important to you. Perhaps your confessor can give you some ideas of how to work on them.

You might also consider finding a different examination of conscience. Either one based on the theological virtues or one that goes into more depth. I know all too often I violate the first commandment in that I willfully and deliberately ignore my relationship with God. But I’ve also noticed not all examinations include that.

As someone who lived for YEARS without the ability to go to confession, I HIGHLY encourage it, even if you haven’t committed mortal sins. And if you’re worried about not having enough time during scheduled hours, there’s nothing wrong with calling the priest and making an appointment! 👍 Or if you commit a mortal sin and feel like you have to wait too long for a scheduled time…
 
after i did my first confession i asked Father about what if i remembered sins later he said that it is forgiven with the absolution i received but if it bothers me to bring it up at my next confession hope that helps you 🙂
 
GOD forgave sins through a human nature.
Matthew 9:2-7, “…And Jesus, seeing their faith, said to the paralytic, “Take courage son; your sins are forgiven you…For which is easier to say, Your sins are forgiven you, or to say, Arise and walk? But that you may know that the Son of Man has power on earth to forgive sins”, then He said to the paralytic, “Arise, take up your pallet and go to your house.””

GOD uses His priests as His instruments of reconciliation. The New Covenant priesthood is prefigured or ‘typed’ in many places in the Old Testament. Here are several examples from the Old Testament of reconciliation and atonement being performed by a priest:

Leviticus 4:20, “…Thus the priest shall make atonement for them, and they will be forgiven.”

Leviticus 4:26, “Thus the priest shall make atonement for the prince’s sin, and it will be forgiven.”

Leviticus 4:32, “Thus the priest shall make atonement for him, and he will be forgiven.”

Leviticus 4:35, “Thus the priest shall make atonement for the man’s sin, and it will be forgiven.”

Leviticus 5:5-6, “…then whoever is guilty in any of these cases shall confess the sin he has incurred, and as his sin offering for his sin he has committed he shall bring to the Lord a female animal from the flock, a ewe lamb or a she-goat. The priest shall then make atonement for his sin.”
See also Leviticus 5:10,13,16,18, 12:8, 14:18-20,31, 15:15,30, 19:22.

Leviticus 6:7, “And the priest shall make an atonement for him before the Lord; and it shall be forgiven him for any thing of all that he has done in trespassing therein.”

Leviticus 7:7, “Because the sin offering and the guilt offering are alike, both having the same ritual, the guilt offering likewise belongs to the priest who makes atonement with it.”

Leviticus 16:32, “This atonement is to be made by the priest who has been anointed and ordained to the priesthood in succession to his father.”

Leviticus 19:20-22, “If a man lies carnally with a woman . . . they shall not be put to death . . . but he shall bring a guilt offering for himself to the Lord, to the door of the tent of meeting, a ram for a guilt offering. And the priest shall make atonement for him . . . before the Lord for his sin which he has committed, and the sin which he has committed shall be forgiven him.”

Numbers 6:11, “The priest shall offer up the one as a sin offering and the other as a holocaust, thus making atonement for him for the sin he has committed by reason of the dead person.”

Numbers 15:25, “And the priest shall make an atonement for all the congregation of the children of Israel, and it shall be forgiven them…”

Numbers 15:28, “And the priest shall make atonement before the Lord for him who sinned inadvertently; when atonement has been made for him, he will be forgiven.”

The prophets in the Old Testament spoke in GOD’s Name, in the first person. Here are examples…

Deuteronomy 18:18-19, “I will raise up for them a prophet like you from among their kinsmen, and will put My words into his mouth; he shall tell them all that I commanded him. If any man will not listen to My words which he speaks in My name, I Myself will make him answer for it.”

Ezekiel 3:4, “And He said to me: Son of man, go to the house of Israel, and you shall speak My words to them.”
The priest has been given the ministry of reconciliation. He mediates GOD’s forgiveness to the sinner. The priest is merely an instrument of GOD. As an analogy, think of GOD as the Supreme Healer, the Master Surgeon. He will remove the cancer of sin from the soul, while using one of His priests as the scalpel.

This GOD given ministry is shown very plainly in Holy Scripture:

Matthew 16:19, when Jesus gave the power and authority to Peter, "And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven
home.inreach.com/bstanley/confess.htm
 
Related question:

What if one remembers a mortal sin, but, believing it to be merely venial, does not confess it?
 
Seatuck said:
If in doubt about whether a sin is mortal or venial then confess it. Confession is good for venial sins too although it is not required. Spend some time learing the difference between the two.
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But is one in a state of grace in the situation I mentioned? I do know the conditions for mortal sin, but many do not, and besides, whether there was full knowledge and complete consent is not always clear.
 
joyfulseraph said:
How am I to confess everything? What if I don’t remember?
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I went to Confession, yesterday… after having been just 2 weeks ago. I usually go once a month.

Anyway… I went again, because I had suddenly remembered a very old sin… and wanted to make sure I confessed, before Easter. But when I told Father… he said that as long as I hadn’t purposely tried to hide it… the sin had been “covered” (his exact words).

Hope this helps.
 
joyfulseraph said:
How am I to confess everything? What if I don’t remember? What if I say too little or too much? What if it’s not good enough? What if I realize I left something out? And how can a person *not *sin? A person could be sitting around, minding their own business, and perhaps that could somehow be a “sin”…I’d have to go every day to confession. Plus I don’t know how a person has enough time, when you probably only have a few minutes with everyone else in line (if it’s that full). :confused:

I am a good/moral person, but I feel like I’ll end up in hell anyways. It’s just so hard…I feel like I’ll just spend my whole life worrying about sin and trying to avoid it. 😦
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About 6 months ago, I had a particular confession, where I said that I had forgotten a few sins…and I started naming them. The priest listened and then said that it was good I remembered, but if we ‘can’t’ remember, to let him know, and he will say…‘I absolve you from all of your sins, that you confessed today, and those you are not fully able to remember right now.’ I felt much better hearing that. :o But, if you remember them, the next confession, confess them. If you feel a particular sin is going to take a long time to discuss with father, then schedule a time to meet with him, to discuss more thoroughly, if you feel uneasy about taking a bit longer in the confessional.

Don’t spend your life worrying over sin, Jesus didn’t come for us to hold on to guilt and worry…He came to release us from that, and through the Sacraments, we have His assurance of beginning anew. :):hug3: It’s good to have a healthy, wellformed conscience, but not healthy to obsess. God bless!
 
rkrispies said:
God made us perfectly imperfect
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No. God created us good. He knows our sins, though, becuase He knows everything, and He can sympasize with us because in Jesus Christ He took upon Himself all our sins. (Jesus, as Man, took on our sins as the Lamb of God, but because His humanity is completely submissive to His Divinity, we say that God, in a sense, took on our sins)
 
Remember: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18). My spiritual director gave me some solid advice. There are 2 extremes. One is despair: believing that our sins and imperfections are greater than Christ’s Redemption for us on Calvary. The other extreme is false presumption: Believing that we saved forever and don’t need to enter into His Passion or go beyond mere belief (an act of the mind) into true faith (an act of the will). This faith, (an act of will) is inspired by the Holy Spirit and gives us the strength through our Teacher and Mother, the Church. “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12).

From what I have read and identifying with it - and I may be dead wrong - it seems you are in despair. Christ is with you. Enter into His Passion this Lenten season and have confidence in His mercy. He only desires us all to do our best in co-operating with His grace. The Holy Spirit will lead and guide you if you implore Him. Our Blessed Mother will intercede for you. Her prayers are very powerful in leading us to Her Son! These beautiful meditations on Christ’s Passion may help you. It has helped me. vocation.com/content-abg.htm Keep fighting the good fight. This convert knows it is worth fighting for.

May God richly bless you.

Yours in Christ,
Cameron
 
This topic of a Sacrament needs to be discussed with a priest. I’m not a priest, but will humbly offer that it is my understanding the active part of Confesson to be the honest intent to live within the guidlines of the Ten Commandments. The focus is on a future without the sins of the past repeated.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. It is humbling and often difficult to accept that we are not perfect beings.
 
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