Confession specificity

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i was just wondering about how in depth should a persons confession be? should it be a clear recounting of each and every sin with all the graphic details or can it be simply the name if the sin sparing the long winded details.

I once asked this of my priest and he wasn’t really conclusive about it. He told me that a lot of old people go to him and will just go through the ten commandments and say for example 3 times against the first commandment and 2 against the 5th. He didn’t say that was invalid but he kind of hinted to be careful about that why i don’t know it was vague.

I would think having to go into details would make confession take forever not to mention just overload the priest with un needed info.

Im always afraid that maybe their could be another sin within the sin intended to be confessed you know like hidden in the details. I personally perfer not to think that in depth about it because I find myself falling into an anxious depressed and self destructive mood. I hate sin because its first off just ugly and messy, secondly it hurts us and God and i don’t want to hurt anyone. three it separates us from God and makes me feel so guilty and self loathing. i can’t possibly see how God or anyone would ever even look in my direction. Yet I sin and continue to sin despite my great hate for it. I live conflicted being torn in many directions. Im not strong enough to be what i want to be. free of sin and holy. Sin and guilt and regret eats away the soul.

Im always so afraid i wont make a good confession. I go and often leave feeling like I forgot something or wasnt accurate to the best of my knowledge. I get scared that I might not be able to hold myself together in the confessional.

I guess im scrupulos I dont want to be Im just very analytical and precises and hate it.

God bless.
 
Just simply and accurately name the sin, any necessary details, and an estimate of the number of times (or how often). Long-winded details are usually unnecessary and discouraged.

Examples:
  • I stole __________ (name item and approximate value, if that is relevant)
  • I was impure with (myself, someone other than my spouse) __________ times
  • I used contraceptives regularly over the past _______ (weeks, months, years)
  • I missed Sunday Mass _____ times
If the priest needs more details, he will ask.
 
PhilotheaZ said:
Just simply and accurately name the sin, any necessary details, and an estimate of the number of times (or how often). Long-winded details are usually unnecessary and discouraged.

Examples:
  • I stole __________ (name item and approximate value, if that is relevant)
  • I was impure with (myself, someone other than my spouse) __________ times
  • I used contraceptives regularly over the past _______ (weeks, months, years)
  • I missed Sunday Mass _____ times
If the priest needs more details, he will ask.
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I second this. These are some really good guidelines. God bless.
 
MarieVeronica said:
I second this. These are some really good guidelines. God bless.
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Yes. Think of it as being like giving a medical history…and in deciding which details might be remarkable, consider that you are not as original as you might think. The aim is to open yourself to accurate diagnosis of the type and extent of the disease or injury, not to give a graphic recreation of your acts.
 
Stick to kind and number and leave it to the priest to ask for clarification.
 
Agreed on these points; the sin, the number of times and anything relevant in a concise manner. I see some of the same people at Confessions every week and they are in there for 10-15 minutes. I feel some of these people use it as a counseling session which is better done with an appointment with the priest. I’m trying not to be judgmental but it’s always the same people, mostly elderly or mothers that I know have lots of kids. It’s terrible when 2 or 3 of these folks are at Confession along with another 20 people and many of those 20 can’t confess because time runs out. It’s happened to me a number of times.

Simon
 
sbriton, it would seem to me that that would be up to the confessor to cut it short, tactfully, and suggest further counseling with him or with someone else. He could suggest that he or she see him in the rectory at a later date to discuss this, and/or to receive guidance about other resources than the confessional. Also, he could suggest to these penitents that they make, at another time, a specific appointment for a solo confession in which they can also discuss spiritual matters in general.

The timing is mostly in his control. The focus should be their sins, and he’s supposed to know how to redirect the dialogue if it strays too much & lingers.
 
sbriton said:
Agreed on these points; the sin, the number of times and anything relevant in a concise manner. I see some of the same people at Confessions every week and they are in there for 10-15 minutes. I feel some of these people use it as a counseling session which is better done with an appointment with the priest. I’m trying not to be judgmental but it’s always the same people, mostly elderly or mothers that I know have lots of kids. It’s terrible when 2 or 3 of these folks are at Confession along with another 20 people and many of those 20 can’t confess because time runs out. It’s happened to me a number of times.

Simon
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Some penitents might not be able to meet with the priest at another time without arousing suspicion, or at least he/she might feel that way. Have you ever made a confession by appointment? The parish office staff sees you. If you’re carrying a load of guilt and shame, that might be a bit much to bear.

Also, you don’t know that the confessions aren’t lasting as long as they are because the confessor is asking for clarification and the penitent feels so ashamed that he/she is having trouble spitting out a blunt confession of what he/she did. That happens, too. They may also be on the edge of despair, if the sin is serious and recurrent. Should the confessor speed such a person through?

I have felt the same impatience you describe, but here’s the problem: there isn’t much point in going to a priest for mercy if we aren’t in the mood to dole out any mercy ourselves, is there? Better to come back the next week, when we’re better disposed towards the requirements of the sacrament.

Just a thought.
 
Good points, EasterJoy. (On my own part, I merely meant that the penitent should not be blamed/resented because of the time taken; rather, it could be for the reasons you enumerate, or it could be that the priest is not exercising possible control, should that be appropriate in a particular case.)
 
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