Confession stipend?

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Terico

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Is it appropriate to offer the Priest money as a gesture of appreciation for hearing a 1 hr long general confession? Would this be considered a stipend of sorts?
 
As an individual lay person, I don’t think so. I do know that this is the norm in my diocese for churches who have priests from other parishes hear confessions.
 
I have never heard of offering a donation of any kind for confession under any circumstances.
 
No, I don’t think you have to “donate” or pay the priest to receive a Sacrament. It seems wrong to me.
 
A one hour confession? 😱 I doubt I’ve ever had one go over 10 minutes!

I think it may be more appropriate to simply add more to your usual contribution during the collection at your next Mass.
 
The priest is acting in persona Christi, which is Latin for “in the person of Christ.” If Jesus healed you, would you give him money? Would he take it? I think not.
 
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It’s definitely not done and not a “thing”.

Catholics do not pay for Sacraments. However, if you know you will be taking up an hour + of the priests time it would be kind to make some kind of gesture as thanks…I’d suggest perhaps a gift card to a local restaurant or some kind of food. While we don’t pay for sacraments we should be kind and merciful in understanding a priest’s humanity and needs.
 
RandomAlias said:
The priest is acting “in the person of Christ.” If Jesus healed you, would you give him money?
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Yes, maybe.

Jesus and the Apostles had to eat. They had to have shelter and clothes on their backs. I hope that those who were healed by Jesus would have felt the desire to facilitate his continuing ministry by meeting his material needs.

Having said that, I don’t think it is necessary or appropriate to give the priest a direct gift for having heard the confession. Maybe an invitation to dinner and a monetary gift at another, more appropriate time.
 
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If I were healed by Christ I would go all over the nation telling of it. I would spread the Gospel.
Christ has no use for $$$$$
 
In general, it’s customary to offer a “stole fee” for baptisms and weddings. Typically, though it varies from parish to parish, this is done at the discretion of the family of the baby being baptized, and the couple being married. Speaking personally, such a gift is appreciated, but not expected. For a funeral, an “honorarium” is customary. But, I’ve never received a gift for having heard a confession. Such would certainly not be expected.
 
It is never appropriate to give the priest money or anything else of value (other than your prayers) for hearing your confession.
 
Catholics shouldn’t pay for sacraments but our church does bill for Sacramental fees for Baptism, First Communion, First Reconciliation, Confirmation and Matrimony. This is an extra fee on top of the sacramental prep fee for classes.

It is not a nominal charge and it does rub me the wrong way. Especially when we already support the church to the tune of thousands each year in the weekly collection, special collections, maintenance collection, capital campaign collection, (you get the idea).

I can afford it but I know others we decided to leave instead of asking Father for a pass. It is pretty humiliating to have to ask for the fee to be waived. Father always says yes, but some people are just too proud to ask.

As far as the OP, I would write a little note thanking him for his time, add that you will be praying for him and maybe a gift card for coffee (20.00 max). If I enjoyed his comments or had other questions, I would invite him over to dinner with the family and get to know him better. That is what I would do…
 
As part of me working the 12 Steps, I did a written moral inventory and examination of conscience going back to earliest recollection and found a lot of things never confessed. Of varying degrees of seriousness. But I still wanted to bring that into the light and confess to God. I avoided scrupulosity and asked the Priest to look out if I was doing that. First 30 minutes confessing, then afterwards the priest and I talked for another 30 minutes. It was a wonderful experience I recommend all to do. Doing this exercise, made me realize, how much I had hidden or suppressed that did damage to myself and others, and mostly offended God. Now, time to get sober and get well. Pray for me! Christus vincit!
 
It’s not typical to pay a stipend for a Confession. There are Mass stipends and occasionally some suggested donation for weddings, funerals, baptisms, etc. but not confessions.

If you want to show appreciation, just put extra donation in the collection at Church at the next Mass you attend. Although I like the idea of sending the priest a little gift card, I would wait and do that at some time later down the road when it wasn’t going hand in hand with your confession. As someone said, the priest might be offended or feel he would need to refuse any gift that was coming in connection with him forgiving sins. He doesn’t want to feel like he’s being paid to forgive you, or worse yet leave the suggestion that he has somehow been bribed.
 
Thanks for all the responses. This is what I’ve always thought, but wanted to double check. Maybe if there is a chance I will take him out for a meal, or give a gift card, etc. in appreciation for his time… not to “pay” for the sacrament.
 
Glad to hear the confession went well and your experience was wonderful. I will keep you in my prayers.
 
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